Making Midlife Mistakes: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel (Forty Is Fabulous Book 3)

by Heloise Hull

  “Probably the same things as in life. Revenge being a good bet. Me being a good target.”

  Tiberius swished his tail frenetically. “Yes, well, you do know a lot about human nature. I’ll give you that.”

  One shade, a man, opened his mouth. A black and bloated tongue lolled out, and my heart skipped at the sight. Another shade crowded closer. He had a knife in his back. A third was naked. He stood fondling himself and staring at me blankly.

  “Tiberius?”

  “They are shades who committed unconscionable crimes. Not enough to be imprisoned in Tartarus, but enough to be branded for eternity with their misdeeds.”

  “So it’s their crimes, not their cause of death,” I murmured. I did not want to know what the naked man did. Nothing good. I guessed that was why Hypatia had appeared whole and un-flayed. Her crime was simply being born a woman with an insatiable desire for knowledge. I hoped her attackers were walking around skinless still.

  “It was an unfortunate accident.”

  I jumped at the noise. It was like hearing the wheels grind to a start on an iron watermill after a century without use. It was a man’s voice. The shade with the knife in his back.

  “He fell onto the knife,” the shade protested again.

  Tiberius barked at him, whiskers and tail flared. The shade froze, but I noticed his eyes hadn’t stopped tracking me. “Unfortunate. I swear,” he continued. “We all cried about it, but he fell. I just happened to be holding the knife when he did.”

  “Stay away from me,” I said, trying to turn, to run, to escape, except more shades had crowded us in, backing us against the fallen pillar. Each one had their crimes branded on their bodies in elegant and gory ways, including a woman with gold sewed over her eyes and another who was foaming at the mouth.

  “Ava, now’s the time to unleash your chaos magic.” Tiberius had perched high on my head.

  “I thought you said it was weak here.”

  “I said it’s weaker. It will still protect us.”

  “Okay, but I don’t want to,” I protested, thinking about the Council members with blank eyes. “My chaos isn’t exactly restrained.”

  “Just do it, Ava, or we may never reach Thoth.”

  I closed my eyes, considering. Obviously, I didn’t want to be overwhelmed by an angry mob of shades. I also didn’t want to unleash an uncontrollable magic in a realm I didn’t understand. “It’s too dangerous.”

  Tiberius huffed. “Fine, don’t listen to your guide, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “My mother magic will be enough,” I promised.

  “If you say so.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tiberius.”

  Warm magic flowed from my fingertips. It poured forth in gentle clouds of green and blue that wove its way through the crowd, searching the desiccated vines at their feet. The shades hesitated as the plants pulsed to life, their long tendrils wrapping around their arms and legs like shackles.

  “You see,” I said. “Problem solved.”

  “One...two…”

  “Why are you counting?”

  When Tiberius hit three, all hell broke loose. The shades pushed forward, frantically grasping for the source of the magic. More shades arrived, pushing up the rear. There were men with their rib cages torn open and women in chains, their faces pleading and twisted in anticipation.

  “It’s attracting them!” I shouted.

  “Weird,” Tiberius said. “Who knew that the feeling of comfort and love would be irresistible to the dead?”

  “Your sarcasm isn’t helping.” I tried curling it back, but it was too late. They had sensed I had more of it.

  I backed up, but hit the marble pillar and its orange blossom scent. Were my choices truly losing myself to the feeling of chaos magic or losing myself to them?

  It was a terrible choice.

  Suddenly, the dead began to scramble back. Some fell and were trampled while the rest stampeded, their mouths open in silent curses and screams. It was pandemonium as the entire pillar shook.

  My first instinct was to run, too. What did the dead have to fear?

  Something white blipped into view to my left. Before I could send a curling vine or a blast of destructive chaos at this newest apparition, I recognized the shade’s long dark hair and eerily familiar face.

  I knew this woman. Actually, it was more than that. I’d kissed this woman’s husband.

  Chapter Thirty

  I watched in awe as Luca’s wife managed to do what I could not. She pulled the knife out of the betrayer’s back and slit his throat. He disintegrated with an undignified moan. With two feints and a stab, she took out the naked man and the bloated tongue guy. The foaming woman slid away without a second look.

  I shivered as I watched, wondering if she would turn on me next. It didn’t help that I looked guilty of… something. I’m sure my face looked crazed, and my breath came in clumps from the exertion of holding back the chaos. It was as if, now that I had used it in battle, a dam had been breached and I was plugging the crater-sized holes with my fingers and a prayer.

  “Thank you,” I said cautiously. “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t stopped to help.”

  She merely nodded and waved away my thanks.

  “I know you,” I said, testing the waters.

  When she finally spoke, her voice was throaty and low, betraying her Latin origins. “Do you?”

  I swallowed hard. “Were you by chance married to a necromancer during your mortal life?”

  Her reaction was swift and surreal. Her eyes went glassy and dark, like a lake before a storm. The lightning was coming. “You know my Luca.” Her eyes rolled back into blackness as she hovered only millimeters from my face. “Tell me what you know of him!”

  Time stalled out. I inhaled sharply. My breath hung in the air. Don’t call the chaos!

  At least I had one thing going for me. Thank goodness I hadn’t accepted her jewelry from Luca. She might have stabbed me first and asked questions later. I told him it would have been weird.

  “He’s fine,” I managed to get out. “I recognize you from the pictures he shows people. He’s completely devoted to you.”

  The woman blinked and her eyes went back to normal. “Luca,” she whispered wistfully. “I am his wife, Gianna. But who are you?”

  “I am Ava. Ava Falcetti.”

  “And what are you doing in Nibiru? Alive?”

  “Good question. I assume most people here are dead and unfulfilled.”

  Gianna tilted her head, and I clapped a hand over my mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m sure you were very fulfilled when you were alive, and there are plenty of reasons dead people stick around.”

  “You are right. Nibiru is not a soul’s final destination. It is merely a passing place. A place of the in-between. Only a few choose to stay, and our reasons are as varied as we are. Most of these shades refuse to accept what they have done in life and cannot move on. Thankfully, our daughter has already transcended to her true peace beyond while I alone wait for my Luca.”

  There was no way in Hell or Nibiru I was going to tell her about the steamy kiss we’d shared.

  As if she could read my thoughts, Gianna continued to appraise me. “He must have found you irresistible.”

  I coughed nervously into my fist. “Yes, well. We had a moment, but, you know. Pretty devoted guy, right?”

  She smiled lightly. “It’s fine, Ava. When he came looking for me, I tried to talk him out of resurrecting me. I told him to move on, and I would move on to the next plane as well. But he was adamant. It’s all blank after that conversation… until the moment I was floating back here.”

  Pieces clicked into place in my ever-elusive puzzle. “I think I know what happened. You were in a jar. There was a battle, and we freed you.”

  “I see.” She stopped. “Except I don’t, because I don’t feel Luca here.”

  “That’s because he’s alive.”

  �
��Please tell me what happened.”

  I made a few weird, hacking noises and waved my hands away. “Eh, you know. A little of this, a little—”

  Tiberius popped out of my jacket pocket. “He tried to squeeze your soul into Ava’s body, but she fought him off. The Council of Beings declared him innocent, and he’s back on the island now.”

  Gianna's face drooped. Her translucent chest heaved and her lips formed a thin line before she spoke again. “I’m sorry. My husband has a zeal that used to excite me, but I fear he’s turned it into something dark and selfish in his grief. I don’t know how to help his pain, but if he tried to hurt you, I no longer know if I should try. Or if I even know him.” She began to float away and my heart stabbed in my chest.

  “I think Luca is redeemable,” I said hastily. “Sure, we had our disagreements when he tried to kidnap my body, but he stopped me from killing someone with my new powers. And he helped protect my sons from other necromancers.”

  “Did he?”

  “Yes, and he’s definitely waiting for you until death.”

  Gianna’s smile was sad. “So we should both be miserable. How very Italian of him.” She sighed. “When you get back to your realm, tell Luca our daughter is safe, happy, and carefree. He should not worry about her.”

  “And you?” I asked, looking at the rough terrain and murderous shades with their crimes written across their bodies. “You’re not safe, happy, and carefree. Don’t you think Luca would want the same happiness for you?”

  “I am willing to wait, to walk this world one last time with him.”

  “You’re willing to wait here?” I asked dubiously, knowing I was probably stepping over the line.

  “There is still plenty of wonder in death, Ava. He knows as well as I that our consciousness reacts differently in Nibiru. There is no need to hasten his life on his island refuge.” She paused. “Where did he end up?”

  “Aradia,” I told her. “It’s a magical island that shelters supernaturals and has the best people. And food. Can’t forget the food.”

  “I miss food.” Gianna’s voice was wistful and full of longing. If she still had saliva glands, I’d bet she’d be salivating. “Pesce all’acqua pazza was my favorite. There was this restaurant on Capri that caught the plumpest cod, and they’d poach it in a broth with fennel and tomatoes so fresh they seemed imbued with sunshine.”

  “Girl, you’ve got to go for the carbs. Pizza and pasta all day.”

  Gianna laughed at that. “I do miss a good cacio e pepe. I was born in Rome and I’d make it by hand with my grandfather. For dessert, he’d shave chocolate over sweetened, homemade ricotta and mound it on thick slices of ciabatta toast.”

  “That sounds amazing.” Well, look at that. Luca was right about one thing. I would have liked Gianna in real life. Mortality was so cruel. “Could I ask you a personal question?”

  “Sì. I am an open book.”

  “How come you’d rather stay here and wait for Luca than move on to your final resting place?”

  “I don’t want to forget him. I’m not ready. In the end, I guess I am as big a coward as anyone.”

  I could barely speak except to say, “It’s not cowardly. It’s brave. In fact, I think it’s much braver to bear all this for one last reunion. He is waiting to be with you, too.”

  Gianna wiped a tear. “I’m not completely alone. Would you like to meet some of my friends?”

  “Anyone who is a friend of yours is a friend of mine.”

  “Good,” she said. “Cat is around here somewhere. Cat?”

  I was expecting a sleek feline to pounce on my toes, as Gianna had clearly lost it in Nibiru and was now talking to cats as if they were humans.

  What I was not expecting was an elegant woman in Renaissance robes to emerge with pearls dripping from her bosom and her hair in a braided bun. She shimmered from her lace and damask gown when she bowed.

  “Caterina Sforza, at your service.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “Se io potessi scivere tutto, farei stupire il mondo.”

  “What is she saying?” I asked. Caterina’s voice was as soft as doves’ wings and just as enchanting.

  “If I could write everything that happened, I would shock the world,” Tiberius translated.

  “Cat’s mortal life wasn’t easy,” Gianna explained. “She chooses to stay for eternity in Nibiru to help shades like me stay safe while we wait for our beloved.”

  “Forever?” I asked, astonished.

  Caterina Sforza nodded. “I find it invigorating. It’s a way to take back the power I never fully had but always craved in life.”

  “That’s intense,” I said.

  “Not as intense as my life. At ten years old, I was married to a man triple my age. By fourteen, I integrated myself into Roman aristocracy. By twenty-five, I was regent of Forlì for my eldest son and set to avenge my husband’s assassination. I was constantly having to maneuver around powerful men. I find it extremely satisfying to defy their expectations of womanhood in this way for eternity. I find it even more satisfying to stab them in the stomach when they die and find their way to me.”

  “Damn, at ten I was just trying to convince my stingy foster parents to buy me a Mrs. Beasley doll, and I thought that was the hardest thing anyone had ever undertaken in the history of ten year olds.”

  The Renaissance noblewoman-turned-warrior gave me a small smile. “We all have our struggles. Just because they are different doesn’t mean they are unworthy, and we should never be made to feel as if they are trivial.”

  “I don’t know how she does it,” Gianna said. “I feel the pull of Lethe every minute, and it’s getting more difficult to resist. I want to see my Luca one last time, but I’m not meant to stay in Nibiru. The purity of the waterfall calls to me.”

  “Not to me,” Cat laughed, snubbing her nose at the very idea. “Purity was always overrated to me. I rejected Lethe long ago.”

  “Lethe?” I asked. I exchanged one of those ancient Nonna-and-Tiberius looks with the chipmunk. Purity sounded a lot like forgetfulness.

  “Yes, the River Lethe. It flows at the edge of the realm, dropping in a waterfall to the Beyond. Mortal shades must pass under the falls in order to move on. It helps them forget their earthly ties in order to truly be at peace in the afterlife.”

  My excitement grew as a seed of an idea took root. “And those that don’t pass under Lethe?”

  “We remain here.”

  “Why do you wish to remain here if true peace is just a mouthful of river water away?” I asked. Having never truly died, I desperately wanted to know what it was like. If I survived all of this, I’d have a choice to make. Should I keep my immortality as a goddess or not? “Sorry. That was personal. I know from experience why forgetting isn’t always the most appealing.” Why, I’d lived that a million times.

  Caterina laughed. “My revenge sustains me. I never want to forget. Dido is here somewhere, too.”

  I sputtered a little, getting derailed. “You’re not saying the Dido—”

  The woman who emerged from the thinness of nothing put the word elegant to shame. Her head tilted upwards, and her robes of royal purple and bands of gold glittered with their own radiance in the depths of Nibiru. Her long, tousled, black hair had been woven with strands of pearls while a golden diadem sat on her brow. If she were still on earth, starlight would bow to her and ocean tides would mistake her for the moon, unable to resist her pull.

  Yeah. I had a girl crush.

  “Queen Dido,” I breathed. At this moment, the only thing I could think about was how much I needed to kick myself for not finishing the Aeneid. It was like I never expected to end up in ancient Greek purgatory, face-to-face with Queen Dido.

  Stupid. So stupid.

  “You wish to seek the River Lethe,” Dido said in her deep, melodious voice.

  “I do?” I said. And then more forcefully, “You’re right. I do.”

  “Not for yourself, I see. Why?”

>   “Actually, I was hoping to give a pint or two to a god.”

  Dido studied me with the wisdom of a millennia. “An interesting prospect. Foolhardy, perhaps, but I see you are not quite what you seem.”

  “You can say that again. Would you be able to lead me there?”

  “What would forgetting do?” Dido asked.

  “I just realized that Thoth has been using it on me for centuries. He would sprinkle my body after each reincarnation, and I would forget everything. Except for a handful of lifetimes when he left me to remember.”

  I pictured the jaundice of my skin in the Brazilian rainforest. He’d managed to pour the Lethe waters over me just in time, but I had frightened him. That memory was the only thing sustaining me now. I had barely activated my powers at the time. I’d merely lived off of scraps. If I could frighten him with sparks, what could I do to him now in this body, with this power? I was betting the house it was more than shock his foot. Actually, I was gambling my life and all of my friends’ lives on it.

  “So you plan to do the same?”

  “Plan is probably a strong word, since it’s all clicking into place as we speak, but I’m not going to sprinkle the water daintily, if that’s what you mean. I’m going to control the waters and bind him in a Lethe bubble.”

  “Why?”

  “If his consciousness permanently forgot about his godhood, he wouldn’t remember he has god magic to use against me.”

  Caterina smiled at Gianna. “I like her.”

  Gianna nodded. “In the grand scheme of things, I haven’t been here for long, but Dido knows everything about Nibiru. She’ll know how to find a safe section of the River Lethe.”

  “Safe is relative. The only place to access the river is through the Cave of Hypnos. You will need guides. You will need a true name. You will need your truth. Do you have those things?”

  Tiberius puffed his striped chest. “She has me.”

  “A chipmunk?”

  “A daemon, thank you. I’m the last of my kind. That’s probably why you didn’t recognize me.”

  For a second time, I pushed Tiberius back into my pocket.