Creation- The Auditor’s Apprentice

by Frank Stonely

  As Amy stepped out of the elevator on the twenty-fifth floor, the only sound was that of claws tapping against workstation keyboards and the low hum of auditors discussing the day’s issues. She studied the floor plan on the wall next to the elevator door and located the office of the Director of Auditing.

  Penny was busy at her workstation as Amy arrived. Amy politely cleared her throat to attract Penny’s attention. ‘Just a minute,’ she snapped without taking her eyes off the screen. A minute or so passed before the printer sprang into action and Penny turned to face Amy, ‘And you are, honey?’

  ‘My name is Amy 23764, I have an appointment with Director Hedrick.’

  ‘Ahhh, our new apprentice.’ Penny’s aggressive demeanour instantly changed and she gave Amy a broad smile.

  ‘I hope so,’ Amy replied, returning the smile.

  ‘You’ll do fine, honey. If you’ve got this far, it’s almost a done deal.’ Penny pointed to the row of chairs next to her desk, ‘Take a seat. Can I get you a coffee or anything?’

  ‘No, I’m fine thank you,’ Amy said, sitting down on the chair furthest from the desk.

  ‘The director will see you as soon as he’s signed off the daily reports.’ Penny paused and examined Amy. ‘I love the colour of your eye shade,’ she said, ‘and that fur tint on your ears, it’s perfect for your colouring.’ She held her hands out across the desk, ‘Look at this claw varnish, I got it yesterday from a stall in the arcade at the end of the plaza. It’s a fantastic colour, what do you think?’

  ‘Yes, it’s lovely.’ Amy said, quickly breaking off the conversation by opening the file of papers on her lap.

  Hedrick was still studying the daily reports when Penny tapped lightly on his office door, ‘Your candidate’s here, Director.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Miss Amy 23764, the new apprentice, here for her induction interview.’

  ‘Oh yes. I am sorry, Penny. I am somewhat preoccupied this morning, too many things on my mind. Give me two minutes to finish the audit reports and then send her in.’

  Hedrick paused as he was about to sign the final page. For the last thousand years GOD’s CEOs had received a daily audit report signed off by Hedrick 39841. Next Monday the report would carry Anubis’ signature. Would anybody notice? Would anybody care? He quickly signed the page, telling himself to snap out of the mawkish mood he had fallen into. After all, this time next week he would be beginning his diamond retirement. As he raised his eyes Amy was standing in the doorway; tall, slim, beautiful and, as expected, naked. Her mane, long and uncut, extended from her temples, over her head to the middle of her back. Her tail, perfectly proportioned, hung to the back of her knees. Her body fur was short and fine, giving an almost silk-like appearance. Her large green eyes were like sunken emeralds, set deep above the snout of her canine face. The short claws of her hands and feet were perfectly manicured, but not varnished. Hedrick could not help himself glancing at her breasts, small and perfectly formed. His eyes drifted down to the reproductive pits set deep in the centre of her abdomen. These were almost obscured by the longer fur that covered them, but Hedrick could still see the flush of pink within them; she was untouched. Amy stood confidently in the doorway, the wallet file containing her Academy certificates held at her side.

  Creationists were quite comfortable being unclothed in public. The varying colour and lengths of their fur was as fine a material as any fashion house could have worked with. For a creationist there was nothing more glamorous than a young female with tinted fur and a plaited mane, adorned with a simple gold necklace and anklet. Clothing was worn more to show status or to provide protection in the working environment. Although, for some young, sexually active females it had become a convenient way of concealing the change in colour of their reproductive pits, from the pink hue of a virgin to the pale blue of an experienced lover.

  Hedrick stood up from his chair, ‘Miss Amy, it is a pleasure to meet you.’ He walked around his desk and repositioned one of the guest’s chairs in front of it. ‘Please, sit,’ he said returning to his seat. Leaning forward he placed his forearms on the desk and almost whispering said, ‘I am pleased to see that you are following our traditions. Tradition is particularly important here in the auditing division, our work requires the rigorous application of rules and practices that have existed for millennia.’ He paused to study her face, then, reassuring her with a smile, sat back in his chair. ‘Now, Miss Amy, may I have a look at your certificates.’ She handed him the folder. Hedrick took it and swung his chair around until its back was almost facing her. He studied the contents, sheet by sheet, mumbling inaudibly to himself, and then without warning he spun back to face her. ‘I have to say, that these are some of the best results I have ever seen, and the citation from Professor Solomon is unheard of.’ Hedrick set the certificates to one side and opened her application form, ‘I see you are still living at home with your parents?’

  ‘Yes, I am,’ she replied, ‘but I have a partner, Daniel. We met on Fresher’s Day at the Academy. We’re planning to commit once our careers are established.’

  Hedrick smiled, ‘Just like my wife and me,’ he said, pointing to the collection of holograms by the window. ‘We pursued our careers for ten years before we committed, and then we began our family some years later. We had three males and two females…’ Hedrick paused, a wave of sadness crossing his face. ‘Sadly, we lost one of our daughters. A levitram accident late at night.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Director.’

  ‘Thank you, Amy,’ Hedrick said, his smile returning. ‘The males have flown the nest now, but we still have our youngest living with us. When you commit, Amy, I dare say you will be having offspring?’

  ‘I think a family will have to wait. I want to establish my career first.’

  Hedrick laughed again, ‘You obviously paid good attention during your interview technique classes.’ He turned over the page, ‘You met your partner at your fresher’s lecture, that would be twelve years ago.’

  ‘Ehh, yes… that’s right,’ Amy replied.

  ‘So Professor Dina would have been principal then?’

  ‘Yes, he was.’

  ‘Good old Dina, he and I were at the Academy together. Did you get picked in his famous fresher’s quiz?’

  ‘Yes, three times. I ended up on the front row.’

  ‘Who spotted the angel first?’

  ‘That’s an embarrassing subject, Director. It wasn’t until I had my first tutorial with the professor, that I discovered what had happened. I felt such a fool.’

  ‘You’re not the first one to be fooled, Amy. I had to explain to my eldest son that it was an angel, not the professor, who had rearranged things.’

  ‘We learnt about angels in history class. I didn’t think they came to Creation anymore?’

  ‘Normally that would be true, but occasionally they visit us.’ Hedrick glanced at his watch, ‘Miss Amy, you must excuse me, but I have an important meeting at ten o’clock. I have asked Penny to show you around and sort out an office suit for you; we will continue our meeting after lunch. I have a project in mind which I think you will find very interesting.’

  Amy stood up from her chair and offered Hedrick her hand, ‘Thank you for your time, Director.’

  ‘It has been my pleasure, Miss Amy.’

  Hedrick slumped back into his seat and watched her return to Penny’s desk – what it is to be young, talented and confident he thought. As Amy sat down she glanced up and caught his gaze. She smiled softly. Hedrick quickly started shuffling papers, but he couldn’t resist a second glance, which prompted a second smile. Suddenly, Hedrick’s view was interrupted as Anubis strode into his office.

  ‘I’ve been talking to my staff. And, I think there’s quite a few changes that need to be-’

  Hedrick stood up and raised his hand, stopping Anubis mid-sentence, ‘Excuse me, Deputy Director, but I think you will find that the people in this department are my staff, at least until Friday! And, I would hav
e thought it only courteous of you to have asked my permission before approaching them.’ Hedrick had taken an instant dislike to his replacement.

  Anubis sighed, ‘Hedrick-’

  ‘Director Hedrick!’

  Anubis sighed again, ‘Director Hedrick, I apologise if I have offended you, but-’

  Hedrick interrupted Anubis for the third time, ‘It is of no consequence if you have offended me; what we are talking about here are GOD’s auditing rules.’ Anubis did not reply and Hedrick felt he had successfully made his point. ‘Deputy Director Anubis, we seem to have got off to a bad start. Please, come in and sit down. Can I ask Penny to get you a refreshment of some sort?’

  ‘No… thank you.’ Anubis said begrudgingly.

  ‘It’s your lucky day!’ Penny said, as she returned carrying three office suits over her arm. ‘The supplies manager wasn’t about, so I just helped myself. I’ve got a twenty-six and one size either side. You’ve got long legs so the twenty-five may be a better fit.’ Penny held each of the garments against Amy, checking the length of the sleeves and the fall of the skirt; she had been right, size twenty-five was perfect.

  ‘Is there a changing room I can use?’ Amy asked.

  Penny couldn’t help but smile; Amy, had spent the last hour in the office totally naked and now she was asking if there was somewhere she could discreetly get dressed. Amy saw the funny side too and started to giggle. Their banter was brought to an abrupt end as Hedrick’s office door was slammed shut.

  ‘I don’t think the director’s last week is getting off to a good start,’ Penny said. ‘You’ll find rest rooms at the end of each floor, by the elevators, you can try them on there.’ Amy took the suits and headed off through the auditing office, the eyes of the male auditors following her as she went. Penny’s eyes followed, remembering how, as a young female, she too had turned the heads of her male colleagues.

  Hedrick returned to his chair having closed the door with slightly more force than he intended. ‘Deputy Director Anubis, or should I call you, Anubis, now we have put that misunderstanding behind us?’ Anubis did not object so Hedrick continued, ‘I understand you have a technical rather than an academic background. Personally, I have always thought of auditing as more of an art form than a technological process. Here in auditing, we are only interested in one thing… the numbers. What was the energy cost? How many creationist hours were consumed? What quantity of Dark Matter was produced? And, most important of all, were the Rules of Creation breached? Hedrick realized he was beginning to lecture Anubis, so he paused and changed tack. ‘So, Anubis, tell me about your technical background and why we need a technician to head up GOD’s Auditing Department. Maybe you will convert a long-standing technophobe into a technocrat.’

  Anubis straightened in his chair and thought carefully before he replied. ‘You’re absolutely right, Hedrick, over the past millennia there hasn’t been a need for your auditors to know the technicalities. But now, they sit at digital workstations capable of monitoring every aspect of DM production, and in real-time. We’re not working in the age of the angels anymore, with all those mountains of paper files to deal with. I’m amazed you don’t use a digital workstation yourself.’

  Now Anubis was doing the lecturing and Hedrick could feel he was beginning to lose ground. ‘I have no need for a digital workstation,’ he quipped. ‘Penny prints off the audit report, I check it through, adding any observations or amendments, sign it off, and then she takes it upstairs. Simple!’

  ‘But what about all the extra work that causes?’ Anubis leant forward, ‘When the report gets upstairs, one of the secretaries there will have to re-enter all the amendments you’ve made before it can be circulated. None of GOD’s CEOs have used paper systems for hundreds of years. Hasn’t anybody explained that to you?’

  ‘Look, it cannot be that much of a problem or somebody from up there,’ Hedrick raised his eyes to the ceiling, ‘would have said something by now. Anyway, they only have to put up with it for another four days. Next week you can digitise things to your heart’s content.’

  Anubis sensed the debate was getting him nowhere, it was pointless pursuing the point, ‘Why don’t I tell you about some of the research that’s being carried out at the Digital Development Laboratory?’

  Amy returned wearing the size twenty-five suit and judging from the looks of approval as she walked through the auditing office, covering her body had not detracted from her appeal. As she entered the outer office she noticed that Hedrick’s office door was still closed. She handed the surplus garments back to Penny and asked, ‘When does the director take his lunch, only he didn’t say when we would be resuming my interview?’

  ‘He’d normally have gone by now. His meeting with the new director isn’t going too well from what I’ve heard through the door. I’m taking my lunch now, do you want to come with me?’

  ‘That’s very nice of you, Penny, but I’m meeting my partner. Maybe another time?’

  ‘Okay, well, I’m off. I’ll be back in about two hours.’ Penny said, waving over her shoulder as she left. Amy’s eyes followed her as she walked through the audit office towards the elevators. She stopped at one of the cubicles and, after some small talk and laughter, left arm-in-arm with its occupant.

  Hedrick had been listening to Anubis wittering on about technical this and digital that for over an hour and his stomach was now rumbling. He figured that as Anubis showed no sign of ending his explanation of the digital revolution, the only way he was going to get lunch was to invite him along. His main difficulty was finding a break in the continual stream of technical jargon.

  Every day Hedrick would lunch alone at the Directors’ Club, and like those first hours in the morning, this was his time, precious time, and he guarded it closely. His mind drifted off into a daydream, reliving some of the delicious meals and excellent wines he had enjoyed at the club, when Anubis’ raised voice brought him back to their meeting, ‘You do see the advantage, don’t you?’ Anubis was staring directly at him.

  ‘Advantage?’ Hedrick replied quizzically, not having any idea what Anubis had been talking about.

  ‘Yes, the advantage of using my system for digitising planetary insertion. It’s part of my amendments to the new galaxy utility. It’s made angels completely redundant at the planetary level.’

  ‘Yes! It is extremely impressive work,’ Hedrick said taking the opportunity to get a word in. ‘Why do you not bring me up-to-date with more of your exciting innovations over lunch? I have a table booked at the Directors’ Club. This time next week you will be a member yourself.’ Before Anubis could reply, Hedrick had got out of his chair and was making for the office door.

  Amy was still at Penny’s desk as the door opened, ‘Ah, Miss Amy! I see Penny has organised your office suit, you are looking every part a team member now.’ Hedrick turned to Anubis, ‘Deputy Director Anubis, may I introduce the department’s new apprentice.’ Amy’s face lit up with a broad smile at the sound of Hedrick’s words, new apprentice. ‘Miss Amy, may I present you to Deputy Director Anubis, soon to be the new director of auditing.’ Anubis acknowledged her with a nod, but before he could speak Hedrick continued, ‘We cannot have you sitting here alone on your first day, please join us for lunch.’

  Amy’s smile dissolved, ‘I’m sorry, Director, but I’ve arranged to meet my partner for lunch.’

  ‘What a shame.’ Hedrick said, meaning every word. ‘Well, he is a lucky creationist. I am looking forward to continuing our meeting this afternoon. Have an enjoyable lunch.’ Hedrick turned and walked through the office towards the elevator station with Anubis following behind him.

  4

  The Directors’ Club

  Hedrick led Anubis through the tall oak doors of the Directors’ Club restaurant, stopping at the maître d’s lectern. He was later than usual and every table appeared to be taken. From his first day as director of auditing, Hedrick had taken his lunch at the club. In the beginning he had been ushered to tables in the mi
ddle of the room, to sit amongst enthusiastic colleagues who brought their work to lunch with them. He soon learned the advantage of a more secluded location and now had his own table, almost hidden behind the grand piano, yet giving a clear view of the restaurant floor. Unobserved, he would watch the restaurant fill, entertained by the waiters ability to carry more plates than they seemed to have hands for.

  He scanned the room for the maître d’. The array of tables before them were all covered in fresh white linen tablecloths and set with crystal glassware and silver cutlery. During the lunch service, the room was well lit and the atmosphere was business-like; the grand piano which added ambience to the evening service was silent, its keyboard closed. The background hum of conversation was punctuated by occasional bursts of laughter. Hedrick finally spotted the maître d’, Jean-Marie, who was dressed in a black, single-breasted dinner suit. He was taking an order from a table occupied by four angels and two ghosts; occasionally angels would dine, but it was rare for ghosts to be seen at the club.

  Jean-Marie finished taking the order and, as he turned for the kitchen, spotted Hedrick. He immediately changed his route through the tables and headed towards the lectern. As he arrived he gave a broad smile, ‘Bonjour, monsieur le directeur Hedrick. Comment allez-vous?’ He reached out and shook Hedrick’s hand warmly like an old friend.

  Hedrick returned the smile and speaking in impeccable French introduced his guest. ‘Je suis très bien merci. Puis-je vous présenter le directeur adjoint qui m'accompagne pour le déjeuner aujourd'hui.’

  The maître d’ shook Anubis’ hand saying, ‘C'est un plaisir de vous rencontrer, monsieur le directeur adjoint. Messieurs, veuillez me suivre.’ Jean-Marie led them through the maze of the restaurant floor to Hedrick’s reserved table. ‘Puis-je vous offrir un apéritif?’