Voodoo Academy

by Theophilus Monroe

  I could feel the blood flush into my face. I probably had the complexion of a fire engine. “Well, I’m not a host… we’re soul fused. It’s totally different than that.”

  “I didn’t mean to offend.” Oggie was clearly embarrassed that I’d taken what he intended to be a compliment as an insult. In truth, I was just trying to defuse the awkwardness of the moment.

  I laughed. “No offense taken.”

  “So your schedule,” Oggie said, coughing into his fist. “You’ll meet with me one-on-one, first thing every morning for training. Six a.m. We’ll meet here to start—”

  “Holy crap,” I said. “Really?”

  “If you’re not comfortable, a second student could join us.” Oggie said.

  I shook my head. “It’s not that… it’s just… Did you really say six a.m.?”

  “Not a morning person?”

  “Not without coffee,” I said.

  “I’ll keep a pot brewing,” Oggie said. “After our morning session, you’ll attend your gen-eds with your first-year class. Then, you’ll finish each day with Mikah.”

  “Mikah? The boy from the other night?”

  “He is my second-year initiate,” Oggie said. “It is customary for first-years to train with second-years. He’ll be something of a mentor to you. He’ll help you practice the skills we learn each morning.”

  I nodded. “So what’s next? We go get my dog, then show me to my quarters?”

  “I have to mount you first,” Oggie said.

  “Oh yeah… that.”

  Oggie shook his head, laughing. “It’s pretty painless. Just look into my eyes…”

  “Don’t you buy a girl dinner before mounting her?” I asked as I met his eyes with mine.

  He was smiling out of the corner of his mouth.

  “Just try to focus…”

  I locked my baby blues with his dark and broody browns. I felt a tingle… that was it. In truth, I wasn’t sure if it was a part of the process, of if I just had butterflies in my stomach.

  “There you go,” Oggie said.

  “Wait… that’s it?”

  “I told you it was painless. I’ve given you my aspect.”

  “You seriously mounted me just now? You didn’t even last five seconds. I mean, I’d expect that from the boys my age.”

  Shaking his head, Oggie grinned. “You’re funny. I like that.”

  “But seriously, that was it? I don’t feel any different.”

  “Trust me. When you begin your training tomorrow, you will.”

  Chapter Eight

  With Letty on leash and my giant suitcase in tow, I pressed my hand to the wall of the Cathedral-Basilica, exactly where Père Antoine had opened the magical archway before. The ghost-priest had told me that once I had my aspect, it would open to me too. Still, I couldn’t help but laugh a little in surprise when the pathway opened at my touch. It was the only evidence, so far, that Oggie had actually given me his aspect. Nothing else seemed to have changed. Even Isabelle couldn’t detect any difference.

  “Fuck.”

  I hadn’t thought about the staircase I’d have to descend when I packed my suitcase. I’d packed enough to clothe half of New Orleans and to shoe a small army. That is, if you could imagine an army styling enough to go to battle in designer heels and girly flats. Thankfully, I was wearing my tennies. A small consolation considering I had to make my way down all the stairs with a suitcase that probably matched my own bodyweight while also trying to manage my dog, who wasn’t particularly keen on tight spaces.

  “Isabelle,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Please tell me there’s something you can do… a spell, whatever, anything to make this a little easier.”

  Isabelle laughed. I’m not saying I couldn’t, but do you think that’s wise? I mean, if someone sees you wielding magic…

  It was a fair point. In truth, though, it was a risk I was willing to take. “Could you at least try and help Letty?” I asked.

  Isabelle had a way with animals. While she couldn’t leave my body, in total, she could astral project within a short range of my body. When we were alone, it was our preferred way to carry on a conversation. It just felt more natural to be able to look one another in the eye when we spoke. I was the only one who could see her astral form, though… the only human, at least. Animals could also see her, which might come in handy when it came to calming Letty’s nerves.

  All right, Isabelle agreed. But if I sense anyone coming, I’m going to stop projecting. I know other people can’t see me, but I have no idea what a Loa can sense.

  “Won’t you know in advance if it’s a Loa coming?”

  Can you tell if it’s a man or a woman when you hear footsteps?

  “Well sometimes… I mean, if she’s wearing heels.”

  That’s not a guarantee. It could still be a man… some men like to feel pretty.

  “Fair point.”

  I can sense if someone is coming, but I won’t be able to tell if it’s a human or a Loa until I see the person’s aura.

  I nodded as Isabelle projected her form in front of me. I was always struck by how pretty she was. She always appeared like a girl of about twelve… the age she was when her earthly life ended. She could change her wardrobe, she’d told me, if she’d imagined a better one. It was just easier, she said, to appear wearing something she’d actually worn in the past. Not to mention, since I was the only one who could see her, she just didn’t care to bother styling herself up. Who was I to impress? When you’re soul-fused to someone, there’s nothing to lose or gain by impressing one with one’s style. Typically, Isabelle appeared wearing a plain white dress cinched around the waist. Her hair tied up in a white bonnet of sorts. Her skin was dark and her features were fine. She probably could have grown up to be a model, she was that pretty, if she’d been born in another time. I had to constantly remind myself that she was, in fact, nearly a century and a half older than me. She hated it when I talked to her like a child—a habit I was more likely to fall into when she projected.

  The oddest thing about her projections, though, was that when she spoke it still sounded like her voice resonated from within my mind… even though I could see her lips moving. It is a bit odd, in truth, but I’ve gotten used to it over the years.

  “So, you can handle Letty?” I asked, unclasping her leash and stuffing it into the front pocket of my suitcase.

  No problem…

  Letty was as much Isabelle’s dog as she was mine. She’d shown up on my front porch two weeks after Isabelle and I were fused. She was just a puppy, and though we tried to find her original owners, no one had ever turned up. After a few weeks chained up in the backyard, my parents gave in to my constant pleas and allowed me to adopt her. While I couldn’t confirm it, I suspected she actually liked Isabelle more than me. I’m not sure what it was, exactly. Letty often sniffed at Isabelle’s apparition, as if she were as corporeal as you or me. Who knows… if the dog could see her, who’s to say she couldn’t smell her, too?

  Even with Isabelle’s help, a 110-pound girl hauling a suitcase that weighs at least as much down a dozen or so flights of super-steep steps still proved a challenge. I’m sure, from Isabelle’s perspective, much hilarity ensued. I’m pretty sure my f-bombs closely paralleled the number of steps I had to descend. It sucked ass. No, not nice, firm ass… sloppy, hairy, pimply ass. That’s the kind of ass this sucked. It’s okay if you vomit a little in your mouth. I almost heaved, myself… no, not from visualizing my own metaphor, but out of sheer exertion.

  I’m not a girl who sweats much… but accomplishing this feat, combined with the humidity of the place, left me soaked in my own natural nastiness. I certainly wasn’t in the condition I’d like to be when meeting my classmates for the first time.

  Once we reached the bottom of the steps, Isabelle disappeared and I re-leashed the dog.

  Ugh! I can smell your stench.

  “Why is it when I stink, the stench is all mine… but when I doll myself up, you say ‘w
e’ look cute?”

  Isabelle chuckled. I’m inconsistent, I’ll accept that flaw. At least I don’t smell bad.

  I shook my head, grinning. Isabelle could be witty, when she wanted to be… when she wasn’t on one of her moralizing high horses. Still, she had a point. I did stink, and a visit to the ladies’ room could only do so much. I needed a shower.

  Chapter Nine

  Oggie had given me instructions to find the first-year dormitory. Thankfully, the school had an elevator, because the dorms were apparently on the fourth floor of the school. Hauling my stuff down a few thousand steps proved challenging enough. There’s no way I could have possibly managed my suitcase up four flights of stairs.

  I managed to clean myself up reasonably well by way of a good fifteen-minute visit to the ladies’ room just across the hallway from the room that was supposed to be my dorm.

  I took a deep breath as I stood in front of the door that, per the instructions Oggie gave me, was supposed to lead into the first-year dormitory.

  First impressions…

  Just be yourself, Isabelle said.

  I shook my head with resolve, extending my hand to the doorknob. “You’re right, Isabelle. How bad can it be? They’re probably just as nervous as I am.”

  As I gripped the knob, I felt the door swing inward, practically pulling me into a tall, lanky guy who smelled like… strawberries?

  He shrieked with glee. “Oh my God, everyone! She’s here!”

  Before I knew what was happening, the boy enveloped me with his arms.

  “I’m Pauli! College Aida-Wedo!”

  “Um, hi? And thanks, I think? Annabelle… Ogoun recruited me! And this is Letty.”

  “College Oggie has arrived!” the flamboyant boy announced to the room, practically singing the word here to the rest of my classmates. The others didn’t appear quite as… exuberant… as they casually strolled in our direction and gathered around.

  Pauli reached down, scratching Letty behind the ears while he looked me up and down. “Girl, who would have thought that the warrior girl would look so fabulous! I thought I was the stylish one in our class, but you’ve given me some competition!”

  Pauli had a certain flair about him… his skinny jeans, in fact, were decorated with sequins.

  “Nice pants,” I said, trying to return the compliment.

  “Oh, do you like them? I bedazzled them myself.”

  I grinned. Before I could reply, one of the other students stood out from the rest. I could tell that in the short time they’d been at the school he’d already exerted himself as the “alpha.” Aside from Pauli, in fact, he was the only guy in the room.

  “I’m Nico,” the boy said. He had light brown skin, his hair trimmed nearly to his scalp. He gave off a distinct “jock” vibe.

  I extended my hand, but he didn’t shake mine back. Instead, he just turned and retreated to what I assumed was his bed. I cocked my head sideways. “Nice to meet you, Nico.”

  The boy just nodded and proceeded to lace his shoes. “The dog can’t stay in here, by the way.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked. “Oggie said—”

  “Oggie makes a lot of promises he can’t keep,” Nico said. “There’s a kennel on the first floor. Check her in there.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I wasn’t told…”

  Nico just huffed as he resumed lacing his boots.

  The two girls in the room exchanged glances, and looked to Nico, as if they were seeking his approval. He gave them a subtle nod.

  The first girl, ebony skin with black, straightened hair, was a larger girl. Not fat, but broad. She was pretty, but she had a tired look about her, the kind that tells you that she’d been through a lot in life.

  “Sauron,” the girl said. “College Sogbo.” She extended her hand, which I shook. She had a firm grip, but her hands were rough, as though she was accustomed to working with her hands.

  “And I’m Ellie,” the second girl responded. She had red hair and a pale complexion. In truth, it was nice to see I wasn’t the only white girl here. She wore plain jeans and a T-shirt that featured a screen-print of Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony. “I’m here with College Erzulie.”

  “Nice to meet you all,” I said. Before I could continue, Pauli grabbed my arm. “Here, let me show you to your bed!”

  I grinned. “So boys and girls, we’re all in the same dorm?” I asked. Coming from a Catholic girls’ school, I wasn’t used to coed anything, and certainly not living arrangements.

  Pauli nodded. “And your bunk is right next to mine!”

  “Brilliant!” I exclaimed, trying to manufacture some excitement about our arrangements. “So what’s the deal with that guy?” I whispered, nodding toward Nico, who was now heading toward the door, Sauron following him close behind.

  “Don’t mind him,” Pauli said, waving his hand dismissively. “He’s a bit of a dick. He was the front-runner for College Ogoun, right up until the last minute when Oggie chose you instead. Nico ended up having to settle for College Samedi. Probably just sizing you up. Trying to figure out what you’ve got that he doesn’t.”

  “Did you say College Samedi?” I asked. “As in, Baron Samedi?” My stomach churned. I hadn’t encountered Baron Samedi since that night…

  “Well, obviously, it was… you know, before he disappeared.”

  I grinned, my anxieties quickly assuaged.

  “Now his wife runs it. Maman Brigitte.”

  “From what I know of Samedi, that must be a powerful college,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Why would Nico be disappointed?”

  “His father was College Ogoun,” Pauli said. “That might have something to do with it. If you want to know my opinion, he’s just being a bitch about it. Thinks the warrior class should be for manly men.”

  “Not a girl, like me,” I said.

  “Not for a bitch like me, either,” Pauli said. “I’m right where I belong. Aida-Wedo, Loa of snakes and rainbows.”

  “Ew,” I said. “Snakes, really? Who likes snakes?”

  “I don’t know! Snakes, ew! I mean, unless you’re talking about trouser snakes. I’m all about those… not so much the slithery kind. But my aspect also comes with rainbows, which I have to say is fabulous. Kind of counterbalances the snake thing. Totally my style.”

  “You’re gay, I’m assuming?”

  Pauli cupped one hand around his mouth, whispering, “What gave me away?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, who would have thought?”

  “I think Nico figured me out, too. That’s why he hardly talks to me.”

  “So he’s both a dick and a homophobe?” I asked.

  “Like a lot of straight guys,” Pauli said. “Just assumes that because I’m gay I’d like to get him in the sack.”

  “Well, would you? I mean, he isn’t bad-looking.”

  “Girl, please. He looks good in jeans, I’ll give him that. But I’ve seen him at the urinal. I’ll just say he’s a little short of my usual standards.”

  I backhanded Pauli in the shoulder. “You creeped on him at the pisser?”

  “Not like I was obvious about it,” Pauli said dismissively. “I have great peripheral vision.”

  “You’re horrible.” I chuckled, heaving my suitcase on top of my bed. “Are these little lockers all we have for our stuff?” I asked.

  “Girl, I’ve been bitching about these lockers since I arrived. It’s just a matter of time before they replace them with full-size wardrobes.”

  “How long have you been here? I mean, am I late or something?”

  “I just got here yesterday.”

  “And you’ve been bitching about the lockers for a whole day, and you think they’re about to give in?”

  “Honey, no one bitches like Pauli. They’ll give in just to shut me up.”

  “What a way to win friends and influence people,” I said, rolling my eyes.

  “Bitch, what good is having friends if I don’t have a full-size wardrobe? The only th
ing straight about me are my priorities.”

  “A girl after my own heart,” I replied.

  “You know it! When you’ve got a body like this, it would be a waste not to flaunt it. I need my full and ever-expanding wardrobe for that!”

  “What about Ellie?” I asked, gesturing toward our redheaded classmate, who was curled up in her bunk with a Fifty Shades of whatever novel. “What’s her story?”

  “Hell if I know,” Pauli said. “Kind of a bookworm. Not the sort you’d expect for College Erzulie.”

  “What’s the focus of that college?” I asked.

  “Girl, you really are out of the loop! Not from a Voodoo family, I assume?”

  “Nope,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Erzulie is the Loa of love,” Pauli said. “Don’t get me wrong, Erzulie is fabulous. But get this… she’s married to three Loa, and rumor has it she has a whole harem of men at her disposal.”

  “A harem? Are you serious?”

  “Don’t color me jealous!” Pauli said. “I mean, sounds like a lot of fun, for her. But I’ve never been able to handle more than three men at once.”

  I scrunched my brow, spotting Ellie across the room. She’d curled up in bed with a spool of yarn and what looked to be a stocking cap in progress. “Not like I know her at all, but Ellie doesn’t strike me as that type.”

  “The quiet ones are always the freakiest,” Pauli said. “But not everyone in College Erzulie is inclined to their Loa’s excesses. Love magic is as diverse as love itself.”

  “And Sauron, is she Nico’s bodyguard or something?”

  “Or something… College Sogbo is all about storm magic. Lightning, wind, and scary shit like that. Haven’t seen the girl smile once. Storms and a bad attitude… not exactly a jolly combination.”

  “No kidding,” I said. “Why’s she follow Nico around like a puppy?”

  Pauli shrugged. “They both come from original families. They grew up down here in Vilokan. Originals tend to stick together. Not to mention, Loa Sogbo is apparently on some kind of mission, or a sabbatical, or some shit. She’s basically tagging along with Nico and College Samedi until her Loa returns.”