Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned Series, Book 1)

by Robyn Peterman

  The monsters shrieked and disappeared.

  “That’s impossible,” she replied coldly, “you’re already dead.” Her arms were crossed over her chest and she wasn’t liking me much.

  “Who were you speaking to?” she asked.

  “Um... nobody?”

  She was silent. She slowly walked into the room, grabbed clothing off of a chair and threw it on the bed.

  “Friends don’t lie to friends,” she stated flatly.

  “Friends didn’t lie to friends,” I said, and she snorted. “Certain friends were really scared and freaked out, so they didn’t lie... they omitted. Certain friends had other friends from different species that arrived before friends who are accusing friends of lying. Those other friends told her not to tell certain things.” I was confusing myself.

  “There is no reason in hell I should have followed that, but somehow I did.” Venus said, walking toward the bed. “Were you just talking to those certain friends?”

  “No.” God, how to explain this... “Actually, the certain friends who told me not to tell certain things don’t know about the friends I was just talking to.”

  “Jesus Christ, Astrid,” Venus grabbed her head. “I can’t keep up with you. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I want to.” She turned to go.

  “Wait!” I was desperate. I was losing my mind. My hands shook and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or scream or punch something. Everything was spinning so far out of control I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on. As panic threatened to overtake me something warm and sweet rushed through me, straight out of my fingertips. Something in me clicked. It was Pam. The panic was gone. I felt Pam’s love envelope me. I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her spirit inside of me. She was letting me know I could talk to Venus and it would be okay.

  “Please stay with me,” I begged.

  Venus slowed and turned back to me, shaking her head, “Astrid, I... ”

  “Please.” I could feel the tears coming.

  “All right,” Venus said slowly. She walked back to the bed, sat on the edge and waited.

  “Venus, I need your word that I can trust you.”

  She moved to the bedside table and retrieved a dagger. The same jeweled dagger I stabbed my thigh with. Why in the hell was that in here? She sliced her palm and handed me the knife, I sliced my own. Shit, that hurt. Venus didn’t even flinch. I wish I could say the same. She grasped my hand and our blood co-mingled.

  “What you tell me, I will guard as if it were my own,” Venus told me, “and you will do the same.”

  I nodded and patted the bed. “You’d better sit.”

  She did.

  I started at the beginning. I told her how I got changed by the big blonde Amazon without my knowledge or consent. I described how I came home and found Oprah, who turned out to be my foul-mouthed, nosey, fiercely loyal Angel named Pam. How from there I was graced with my style-challenged Fairy, who was a doppelganger for Arnold Schwarzenegger. How he had taught me in a very short and very violent time how to fight to the death and how to control my Magic.

  Then I explained my monsters. They started out as cracks in my bedroom ceiling, but the longer I stared, the more alive they became. My monsters were so ugly they were cute. They were about three inches tall and looked like tiny people. I suppose I thought of them as my babies. The babies I would never have now that I was a Vampyre. I loved them.

  “I was afraid if I told someone about them, they’d go away,” I admitted. “I’ve lost so much already. I couldn’t bear losing them too.”

  “Is that who you were talking to?” Venus asked, trying to wrap her head around my crazy story. I was just thankful she didn’t run from the room screaming.

  “Yes and no,” I explained, “they were similar monsters, but they weren’t mine. Turns out they live on ceilings everywhere,” I smiled ruefully. I was still nervous she was going to bail on the insane Vampyre girl.

  “Can I see them?” she asked.

  “I don’t know.” I looked up. The monsters were back. “I don’t know,” I repeated. “Can you?”

  Venus looked up and stared at the ceiling. Hard. “No, I can’t.”

  I glanced up and wondered why in the hell I could see them. They giggled and waved and stomped on each other’s heads. I realized I didn’t care why. I was grateful I could.

  “That’s okay,” I consoled her, “you’re strong and don’t need them.”

  “No,” she replied, examining me strangely, “you don’t need them either. They need you.” She took a huge pause and continued searching my face. “You are the Chosen One,” she whispered, dropping to her knees next to the bed.

  “Get up, you’re freaking me out,” I blurted, yanking on her arm.

  “Astrid.” Venus was excited. She grabbed me and hugged me hard. “You are. You are the Chosen One.”

  “No,” I gasped, trying to peel her off of me, “I’m not. I don’t want to be the Chosen One. I’m still not a hundred percent sure I want to be a Vampyre. I am a materialistic Prada whore who teaches art to old people. There’s no way I can be the Chosen One.” I paused. “What in the hell is the ‘Chosen One’?”

  Venus’ excitement freaked me out. “The Chosen One is beloved by Angels and Fairies and can control Demons.”

  “I don’t know any Demons,” I yelled at her, “except for Ethan.”

  “Don’t you see?” she went on, ignoring my slam on her Prince, “Angels and Fairies don’t ever even acknowledge Vampyres. Our breeds only come together in times of war... and hopefully then it’s as allies, because Angels and Fairies are the fiercest warriors in the Universe.”

  I was still confused.

  “Angels and Fairies are from the Light, from life,” Venus explained, “and Vampyres are from the Dark, from death.” She touched my face. “You are the Light who lives in the Dark. You will save us.”

  “Holy shit.” I threw myself back on the bed. “I thought I was crazy. Did you not get the part that I don’t know, and therefore cannot control, any Demons?” I had her there.

  “Your monsters are Demons,” she simply stated.

  Oh fuck.

  “I don’t want to deal with this right now,” I told her, overwhelmed. “You can’t tell anyone about this, Venus.”

  “I won’t,” she promised. “Eventually you will have to tell the Prince.”

  “He’s already figured most of it out,” I said morosely and filled her in on the glitter-filled disappearing act in the graveyard. “The only part that would be missing for him would be the Demons.”

  I realized I’d forgotten to ask the most important question of all. “How in the hell am I supposed to save everybody?”

  “The Prophecy doesn’t say, but I do know it involves our King somehow,” Venus replied.

  Well, that just pissed me off and made me want to cry. “Heathcliff told me the King will be in the North American Dominion within the month. Does that mean I have to save everybody this month, as opposed to next month?” I tried for a lame joke. Venus didn’t bite. I didn’t blame her. It sucked.

  Ignoring my rapidly deteriorating sense of humor, she went on, “I hate to broach another touchy subject,” Venus was treading carefully, “but would you like to discuss The Warrior Prince?” She tried to suppress a grin. She failed.

  I was gonna kick her ass.

  “No,” I shouted. “I do not want to discuss him. Ever.”

  “You’re halfway mated to the most powerful ruler of all the King’s children. Not to mention the fact that he seems to have gone cuckoo crazy over you. In all my two hundred years as a Vampyre, I’ve never seen him like this. No one has. You will have to deal with this sooner rather than later,” Venus informed me.

  “He’s a liar and a cheater and he tried to kill me. I. Hate. Him. I find him unattractive and rude. He’s an asshole and a bastard... ” I trailed off.

  Venus just stared at me.

  “All right, fine.” I gave up. “Yes, I’m attracted to h
im, but he didn’t ask me to mate with him—he just did it. I hate that. I don’t even know him. I can’t get mated or married or whatever to a stranger, no matter how hot he is or how good he smells.”

  “Vampyres often recognize their life mates the first moment they see them or scent them,” Venus said with authority. “They are fated for each other. They have an uncontrollable mental and sexual bond. I’m fairly sure Ethan recognized you.”

  “No, he didn’t,” I shot back at her. “The first time he saw me, he and his sisters tried to kill me.”

  “But he didn’t,” Venus fired right back, “and he stopped his sisters from killing you.”

  “Yeah... so?”

  “Nothing.” Venus was smug. “I’m just sayin’... that’s all.”

  “You are aware that you suck, and all of you people are perverts?” I informed her, wanting to slap that superior look off her face.

  “Yes... yes I am,” she smiled. “By the way, you’re one of those people now.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I can’t be his mate because I think I have a connection to Heathcliff too. At least he’s a gentleman.”

  “Ooo,” Venus scrunched her nose. “That could be awkward.”

  “No duh.”

  “He has a sister... ” Venus started. I cut her off.

  “Yes, that would be Cathy. The Cathy that has been schtupping Ethan for a hundred years,” I said. “Yep, I put that all together when I noticed a female Heathcliff trying to kill me with her eyeballs.” I paused and sighed. “I suppose Heathcliff is out of the picture for me. I never get the nice guy.”

  Venus rolled her eyes at me. “The other one ain’t so bad.”

  “Why do I have to be with anyone at all?” I whined. “Can’t I just save the world and then go on about my business?”

  “No,” Venus the Party Pooper said. “You are now part of the Elite Guard. Your life is not your own anymore.”

  “What?” I shouted. Venus cut me off.

  “No,” she firmly announced, “you cannot get out of it. As a member of the Cressida House, we are here to protect the Royal Family. Period.”

  “I can’t,” I stammered, “I teach art to old people and I... you know have, um, stuff... ”

  Venus laughed and punched me in the arm. Damn, she punches hard. I punched her back harder and remembered I was naked.

  “Do you have any idea why I’m naked?” I asked her.

  “Nope.”

  “Do you know how I got here?”

  “Yep.”

  “Did he bring me here?” I shut my eyes. If I couldn’t see anything, I could pretend nothing happened.

  “Yep.”

  “Do you think he... ?” I mumbled.

  “No way,” Venus said. “I know you think he’s an ass, but he has more honor than any Vampyre I’ve ever met.”

  “That doesn’t say much for Vampyres,” I laughed.

  “I’m not saying he didn’t look,” she grinned, “but I would bet my life he didn’t touch.”

  “You have way more faith in him than I do,” I told her. “Why don’t you mate with him?”

  “Oh, he’s pretty and all, but he’s more like a father to me. Besides, I like the brothers.”

  I started laughing. “Oh my God, you’re racist?” I threw a pillow at her.

  “No, I’m not,” she giggled, “a girl likes what a girl likes!” She threw the pillow back at me. “I like the same kind of man my mama liked!”

  I froze. Petra... it was Friday. I had to go to her.

  “Venus,” I choked out in a panic, “I have to get out of here.”

  “You can’t,” she said, “Ethan will have a fit.”

  “I don’t give a damn what he’ll do. It’s Friday... my mother... ” I couldn’t continue.

  “What?” Venus asked.

  “My mother, Petra is supposed to die today.” Venus looked at me askance. “I know, I know, I’m not sure if I believe her, but I need to go to her. I need to offer to change her. I need to save her if she’ll let me.”

  “You can’t,” Venus sympathized. “You’ll kill her.”

  “Pam said the same thing. Why?”

  “Once a woman has borne a child,” Venus explained, “she will not make it through the change.”

  “Is that one hundred percent for sure?” I asked, looking for a loophole.

  “I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try to change her if I were you,” she replied.

  “You’re not me.”

  “True, although there is an old wives’ tale about sacrificing Royalty, or maybe it was an animal, in order to attain immortality. I can’t remember how it goes, but only Vampyres would know that tale and we don’t need it—we’re already immortal.”

  “Oookay, that’s just weird on every level,” I said flatly. “If there’s even a remote chance to save her, I have to try.”

  Why did I feel so compelled to save her? Was it simply because she was my mother? No, it was far more complicated than that. I was that pathetic idiot that was still after her love and approval. At least I wasn’t in denial. “Venus... ”

  “No,” she said.

  “Please cover for me,” I begged.

  “Are you trying to get me killed?” she gasped. “There’s no way to sneak you out of here. There are guards everywhere, especially on this floor.” Venus shook her head vehemently. “Even if we did get you out of the house, there are security guards all over the property.”

  “I don’t need to leave this room to leave the compound,” I told her calmly. She was a nervous wreck. “I just can’t have you ringing the alarm bells when I leave.”

  “Astrid, you’re killing me,” she said, dropping her head into her hands.

  “Venus, why don’t you go find someone for me to eat,” I told her. “Please take your time. I’m extremely picky about my meals, especially considering I’ve never had mortal blood before.”

  “You’ve never... ” She was shocked.

  “Shut up,” I cut her off. “It is what it is. It will probably take you about an hour to find someone appropriate. Do you understand me?” I asked her, making sure she understood. She nodded unhappily. “Do you think anyone else will be checking on me?” I began to dress quickly.

  “No.” Venus paced the room and wouldn’t make eye contact. God, I hoped she would keep my secret. “He’s on an investigation with some of the Guards. There’s been more Rogue activity.”

  “All right then, you should go.” I squeezed her hand.

  “Please be careful, Astrid,” she said. “He will be destroyed if anything happens to you.”

  Her statement surprised and secretly delighted me. I looked at her for a long moment... then I disappeared.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I felt like a burglar. I didn’t want to be here. I wasn’t wanted or welcome, but here I was. Again. Begging to be slapped down for loving someone who didn’t love me back. I was pathetic, but I wouldn’t live with regrets. No one can say I didn’t try. I may suffer severe wounds to my ego and heart, but being a Vampyre had its advantages. I had thousands of years ahead of me to do therapy.

  “Petra? Mother?” I called out.

  Nothing.

  Surprised and relieved that I wasn’t exhausted from teleporting, I stood and waited. Pam was right, I was getting stronger. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I just knew I was grateful for it right now.

  I smoothed down the crisp, cotton, fitted white halter over the black raw silk capris and admired my insane platform wedges. All Prada. Every thread, button, snap and zipper on me was Prada! The material felt like heaven on my skin. Being a Vampyre made my body and senses hypersensitive. I was in love with whoever chose this outfit for me. It had to be Venus, or maybe it was... no, there’s no way he would know I would love all this. What in the hell was Venus going on about knowing your life mate? I thought back to the first time I met him. I knew I was attracted to him, but was that it? Did the fact that I couldn’t take my eyes off of his a
ss mean he was my mate? Could you base an entire relationship on being obsessed with an ass? I didn’t even know him... and he didn’t know me.

  I couldn’t think about that right now, mostly because my mind went immediately to an X-rated place when I thought about him. A naked, sweaty, scream-filled, bloodsucking, orgasmic place. I needed to dial down my inner slut.

  “Astrid, what are you doing here?” my mother asked me.

  “Shit,” I yelped. My mother was better than a cold shower for getting rid of my loose morality concerns. “You almost scared me to death.”

  “Is that really possible, dear?” she asked calmly, staring me down.

  She certainly looked spectacular for someone that was going to die from cancer today. So pulled together in her Tory Burch flats and her sweet little Armani shift.

  Hair? Perfect.

  Nails? Perfect.

  Makeup? Perfect.

  Beautiful, and as cold as ice.

  “How’s the cancer going, Petra?” I asked her, trying to goad her into some sort of emotion. I didn’t care what. Just something.

  “Cancer’s a bitch, dear,” she replied. “Terrible way to die.”

  “Mom, what’s going on?” I snapped. “Are you really sick?”

  “Do you really care?” she murmured. Damn, she was evil.

  “Unfortunately, I really do.” I felt the tears welling.

  She totally ignored my need for comfort and put more distance between us. God, did she not have one maternal bone in her body? She fussed with pillows and brushed imaginary lint from the couch. Then she heaved a huge put-upon sigh. “Look, Astrid, I thought I made myself very clear the other day. I have no desire to bond with you or make up for any of the wrongs you perceive me to have committed. You didn’t turn out at all like I expected. I have a very hard time believing you’re the one. You’re just so pathetic and weak. To put it mildly, you’re a grave disappointment.” She laughed at her double entendre.

  I wanted to crawl out of my skin. My mind was so crowded with hatred and regret and shame, I couldn’t even follow what she meant. Did she think I was the Chosen One too? How would she even know about that? I wanted to run away from her. I wanted to hit her and hurt her like she hurt me. I wanted to destroy her. I wanted her to hold me. Most of all, I wanted to destroy myself for still caring about her, although I was fairly sure if I hung around much longer she’d successfully do that for me.