Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned Series, Book 1)

by Robyn Peterman

  I would never lay eyes on the Prince of the North American Dominion again. I’d go to Europe or Australia, or maybe I’d die while I was saving everybody. I really didn’t care. My heart was broken and all I had left was my pride. He had already taken my heart. He could not have my pride. Ever.

  “Asscrack?” Pam yelled, banging on my door. “Get your sorry butt out to the TV room, fast. We’ve got business to take care of and Jerry Springer comes on in thirty-eight minutes. So haul ass!”

  God, I was happy to be home. I was safe. I knew what to expect here... Jerry Springer, swear words and unconditional love. I quickly changed into some awesome jeans, my favorite pale coffee-colored camisole, a thick brown belt and some rockin’ dark brown Doc Marten combat boots. With my pale skin and fangs, I looked very Vamp chic. I glanced back at the stilettos and the dress crumpled on the floor and felt my eyes fill up. Stop. I would not cry for him anymore.

  I had to stop loving people who didn’t love me back. I was so empty on the inside, but time and distance from him would heal that. I was a Vampyre, damn it. I was going to live for God knew how many years. I would meet hundreds and thousands of guys that would make Ethan look like the asshole that he was. I plastered a big fake smile on my face, threw my shoulders back and left my room.

  But I really didn’t believe a word of that shit. Help me, Jesus.

  “Pam? The Kev? Gemma?” I yelled as I hurried down the hall, “I’ve missed you so... ” I stopped dead in my tracks. Gemma was sitting on my couch between two people I didn’t know. A statuesque black woman, whose beauty was so riveting it, was ridiculous. She looked about thirty. Her skin was a creamy, dark mocha. Her lips were full and her eyes were an amethyst purple. They were shaped like a cat’s and were fringed with long black lashes. She had a big bosom and long legs. She was beyond stunning.

  The man though was a joke. I was sure my eyes were playing tricks on me. I thought Vampyres were beautiful? They had nothing on this guy... although I personally thought Ethan was prettier. No. Stop. Ethan was dead to me. The man on my couch had blonde hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. He had the face of a god and the body of an Olympic champion. I felt like a total shlub in front of these strangers. Gemma looked different too, even more beautiful than usual. What in the hell was going on?

  “What the fuck are you staring at, Asswipe?” The gorgeous woman on the couch bellowed at me.

  “Pam?” I was in shock.

  “Who in the hell else would I be, dumbass?”

  The man on the couch chuckled and smiled lovingly at me. “The Kev?” I asked.

  “Yes, my Krumecaca, it’s me.” His accent was gone! Imagine that. He put his arms out and I ran to him.

  “You guys look... um... well... ” I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

  “I look fuckin’ hot is how I look,” Pam yelled, yanking me off The Kev’s lap and onto hers. Damn, she was strong. “Let me look at you, child.” She examined my collar bone and nodded with satisfaction at my tattoo. “It’s about time those little bastards branded you.”

  “You know about my Demons?” Did I have any secrets at all?

  “Of course I know about them,” Pam shouted. How could someone so beautiful be so loud and obnoxious? “I know everything, jackass. They’re Fallen Angel Demons and they’re under my jurisdiction.” She pressed on my Angel Wing tattoo.

  “Tattoos don’t last on Vampyres,” I told her.

  “That one will,” Pam informed me, “that ain’t no normal tattoo.”

  I’d heard everything now. I turned to Gemma who sat quietly watching me. “How long have you known about these two super models?” I asked her.

  “Not long,” she laughed, “but I had a feeling because of their auras.” She looked at The Kev and blushed. He put his arm around her possessively.

  “Is there anything I should know?” I poked her with my combat boot-covered foot. She looked up at me and I was amazed. Gemma’s eyes were a sparkling glittery silver and her skin had an otherworldly glow. She looked like a magical Fairy Princess.

  She smiled, took my hand in hers and gently pulled me down on the couch. She was trembling. “Dude,” she whispered and giggled. “It’s all insane. I am totally in love with him.” She looked at The Kev, who gently kissed her. I squeezed her hand, willing her to go on. “I know what I am now and although I’m scared... I can do it.”

  I swallowed hard when Gemma took my face into her warm loving hands. “You are the reason I can do it. Your bravery and the way you’ve kept your humanity when it would be so easy to let it go, makes me believe I’ll be okay, too. I love you so much, Astrid.” She started to cry and lovely silvery diamond tears slid down her lovely face.

  “What are you?” I whispered, wiping her tears away.

  “It’s what I will be. I’m not there yet,” she said.

  “Can you still be a Prada whore?”

  Gemma laughed, “But of course... once a Prada whore, always a Prada whore.”

  “Thank God,” I muttered. “So?”

  “So, I am the reincarnation of the Fairy Queen.”

  “For real?” I asked.

  “For real,” she replied.

  “Immortal?” I held my breath.

  “Yep,” Gemma squealed.

  Oh. My. God. This was the best news in the world. It almost eclipsed the fact that I was single again. Gemma and I could be friends for thousands of years. Literally. “Are you guys totally sure about this?” I hadn’t even realized reincarnation was possible. Then again I hadn’t known Vampyres or Demons or God only knew what else was possible either.

  “Yes, we are very sure,” The Kev said. “She died about seven hundred years ago in the last major war with the Underworld. I have been waiting for her for a long time.” He was so obviously in love with her. I hated myself, but I felt a pang of jealousy.

  I wanted Ethan to love me like that. Wait. No, I didn’t. I didn’t want him at all... ever. Besides, he didn’t want me. I would never think about him again. Good luck with that.

  “What do you mean you’re not there yet?” She looked like a Fairy Queen to me.

  “Well... ” Gemma started.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Pam groaned, “you people are taking too damn long, and my program is about to come on. She has to break the four Mortal Strings before she becomes the Queen again.”

  “Mortal Strings?” I asked.

  “If you’d shut your cakehole,” Pam bellowed, “I’ll finish.” I bit my lip to keep from laughing. She may be beautiful, but she was still nasty. “The first string she had to break was feeding a Vampyre.” Pam pointed at me. “That was you. The second was falling in love with a Fairy... that was him.” She pointed at The Kev. “Then of course she had to fuck the Fairy.”

  I burst out laughing as The Kev and Gemma looked mortified to have their sex life discussed so crudely and bluntly by Pam.

  “The fourth Mortal String,” Pam went on, enjoying everyone’s embarrassment, “well... we don’t know what in the hell the fourth Mortal String is. She’ll just have to figure it out like she did the others.” Pam sat there for a moment and then looked at Gemma and The Kev. “Does that about cover it?”

  “Yes.” The Kev was still blushing. Gemma was simply in shock. “That covers it.”

  “What’s on your hand?” Gemma asked me, quickly changing the subject.

  I held up my hand and showed them the six carat Pink Diamond that was stuck on my finger. Pam gasped, “You mated with Ethan?”

  “How did you know that?” I asked her.

  She looked taken aback for a moment, but regrouped quickly and shouted, “Because I know everything, Asscrack.”

  “I did mate with him... then I broke it.” Holy hell, it hurt to say that.

  “Why?” Pam demanded. “Don’t you love him?”

  “That doesn’t matter,” I said defensively. “He doesn’t want a half Demon for a mate and I forgot to tell him about that before I bit the bastard.”

  Pam starte
d laughing, “Damn, you are the right woman for him.” She shook her not so Oprah-like head and smiled, “You ain’t no half Demon. Well, technically you are, but you were raised by... ”

  “Yeah, yeah... ” I cut her off. “He knows all that and he doesn’t want me and I don’t want him either.”

  “Tough,” she yelled gleefully, “you can’t just decide it’s over.”

  “Well, I did,” I informed her, daring her to disagree.

  “Maybe, maybe not,” The Kev said quietly. Pam narrowed her eyes at him. If I were The Kev I’d be scared, but he just smiled at Pam and pinched her cheek. “Astrid, I have a gift for you, but you cannot use it in haste. If you do you will regret it greatly.” I wondered if this gift would be as painful as Rachel’s. “It’s a wish. You may use it to dissolve your mating or you may use it for whatever your heart desires.”

  “I already dissolved my mating,” I insisted.

  “Of course,” he replied.

  “Can I use it to wish for more wishes?” I joked.

  The Kev laughed. “No, you can’t. I would be very careful. Do not use it too quickly, for once you use it, it is gone.” His tone became serious. “This wish can create life or cause death. This wish extends far beyond the mortal world.”

  Oh My God, I could use this wish to see Nana again. Or to have a baby. That one was impossible since my indoor plumbing was non-functioning. The Kev was right. I would not use this wish quickly or unwisely.

  “Thank you,” I told him. “I will use it carefully.”

  “Good girl,” The Kev said, taking me into his arms. “When you use the wish say, ‘Hear Me, O Fairies’ and then state your desire.” I nodded. “You need to feed from all three of us now. Our time with you is limited.”

  My stomach lurched and my eyes welled up. I had a feeling they would be leaving soon because they had gone back to their true forms.

  “What about Gemma?” I was falling apart.

  “She has to go, but she will be back.” He pulled me close and I fed from him.

  Just as Jerry Springer started, Pam pried me away from The Kev and took me on to her lap. “Pam,” I was still sniffling, “you would love the Vampyre King. He looks kind of like the beefy, bald security guy from Jerry Springer, but better.”

  She laughed and drew me to her neck, “I’ve heard he’s one hot piece of ass.” God, she was profane.

  Finally, I went to my Gemma, who was snarfing Black Raspberry Chip for me. I realized as I drank from her that Black Raspberry Chip ice cream was not better than sex with Ethan. This made me sad. That asshole had ruined me for all other men, and ice cream too. Maybe there were Vampyre Nuns. I may as well join an order and be celibate, rather than be disappointed the rest of my life. There was no comparing anyone to that jerk bastard.

  I finished eating and put my head into my hands. Why was my life always so messy?

  “Astrid?”

  I looked up. Heathcliff was standing in my living room. I was alone on my couch and Jerry Springer was still spouting nonsense on the TV.

  “Do you actually watch that?” he asked, smiling.

  “No,” I said, “well... sometimes. Why are you here?” I wondered where my family had gone and if they were gone for good.

  “We’ve found the Rogues headquarters and we’re going in.” He handed me my katana, a dagger and several throwing stars. “Are you ready?”

  I nodded. He had no idea. “Let’s go,” I said. Today was as good a day to die as any.

  Chapter Thirty

  Heathcliff seemed shocked I could fly. Hell, he’d pass out cold if I showed him the rest of my party tricks. He held my hand as we flew through the night. I felt safe with him. Furthermore, I’d never flown outside and it didn’t appeal to me to run into a cell tower or, God forbid, a low-flying plane.

  I could tell we were flying south, directly toward Mammoth Caves. Shit, were we going to fight in the caves? It was impossible to communicate with Heathcliff. We were traveling over a hundred miles an hour. It was insane. I had never felt so free in my life. As we came in for a landing, Heathcliff brought his legs down in front of him, kicking mine forward as he did so. We both landed smoothly on our feet in a field about a half mile from the main cave entrance.

  “Thanks,” I smiled, exhilarated from our flight. As giddy as I felt about flying, I was getting panicked about what was to come and who I was going to have to see. I looked around and saw my team of Samuel, Luke, David, Venus, Cathy and the rest. Princess Lelia and Princess Raquel, my two kind-of ex sister-in-laws who tried to kill me a while back in the graveyard, were also here. I noticed the redhead, Princess Raquel, giving Heathcliff the evil eye. Oh My God, I bet Heathcliff was the one that ripped her arms off all those years ago.

  “Bastard,” she hissed as she walked by him.

  “Bitch,” he grinned broadly, displaying his beautiful dimples. This seemed to piss her off greatly and delight him tremendously.

  “Astrid,” Princess Lelia cooed. The mocha-skinned beauty, approached me with a shit eating grin on her face and a wild sparkle in her amethyst eyes. Princess Raquel, composing herself from her exchange with Heathcliff, followed closely behind her sister. “Aren’t you the sneaky one,” Princess Lelia laughed. “I’m so glad we didn’t kill you. That would have been a major cluster!”

  Princess Raquel grabbed me by my shoulders and studied my face. “You really are beautiful. Welcome to the family, although you do have my sympathy for mating with my brother,” she laughed and kissed me soundly on the lips. Clearly she hadn’t spoken with her brother or she’d realize we were definitely not related.

  He was here. I didn’t see him, but I could feel him. My stomach was doing flips and his scent was making me dizzy. He was trying to get into my head to gauge my feelings, but I was not going to let him in. I was starting to come undone. I touched my wings and shut the doors in my mind. He was not welcome inside me ever again.

  “Astrid,” a child called out to me. I turned, but there was no child in sight. There was a beautiful teenage Vampyre girl in front of me. She had a rockin’ layered bob, a stunning face and turquoise eyes. Turquoise, like the ocean in the Caribbean. I’d have paid big bucks for the jeans and spike-heeled boots she had on. Her top was one I’d been admiring in the Anthropologie catalog for weeks. Now that I could see it in person, I was definitely ordering it. I wanted to see what size she was wearing. I wondered if she’d let me try it on...

  “Astrid,” she said, smiling at me.

  “Paris?” I choked out.

  “Yes.” She still sounded like a little girl, but she looked like a million bucks.

  “Holy shit,” I gasped. “What in the hell happened to you?” Paris Hilton was gorgeous. I grabbed her and swung her around like a three year old. “You are so beautiful!”

  Was I screaming? Yes... yes I was.

  “Niecey and the gal in the back of the art class whose name always escapes me gave me a makeover,” she said shyly.

  “Oh my God, I had no idea a beautiful girl was hiding under all that Goth shit.”

  “Are you happy with me?” she asked.

  “Oh, Paris... ” I put her down and took her hands. “I’ve always been bizarrely happy with you. You are amazing and strong and good. The only thing your makeover does is make the outside as beautiful as the inside. This is who you are. You don’t need to cover up your beauty with all those black clothes and black makeup and... Wait, are you wearing contact lenses?” I marveled at her turquoise eyes.

  “No,” she said, embarrassed. “I used to wear black contacts. I thought it was cool... the old gals didn’t,” she laughed.

  “Are you here to fight?” I asked.

  “Yes, I would do anything for my Prince and my King... and for you,” she added quietly.

  I kissed both of her cheeks. “Be careful,” I told her and moved away to find out the plan. I turned and ran smack into the person I was trying to avoid. I jumped back as if burned and saw the pain flash across in his eyes.
/>   “She looks lovely,” Ethan said, referring to Paris. “Thank you.”

  “Yes, she does,” I snapped, “and don’t bother thanking me. I didn’t do it, my old ladies did.”

  I turned my back on him and tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and hauled me up against his body. If everyone was watching, I was unaware. The only thing I could focus on was Ethan—the feel of him, the smell of him. My body automatically began to mold to his. No. This was no time for my inner slut to take over. I tried to jerk away, but he imprisoned me firmly against his body. What did he want from me? He’d already destroyed me. As much as I hated him, all I wanted to do was lean in, wrap my arms around him, and press my lips to his.

  “Let me go,” I hissed.

  “Astrid,” he said, his voice tight, “we need to talk.”

  “No, Ethan, we don’t,” I cut him off. “I will fulfill all my duties as the Chosen One and then I will go away from you. Away from all of you.”

  I thought he had already decimated my heart, but the pain I felt now let me know there was more damage to be done. God, if he didn’t let me go soon there was no telling how I would betray myself.

  “Angel, I lov... ”

  “Stop,” I lashed out, disengaging myself from him. My whole body trembled. “You have to stop. You and I were a mistake.” He flinched. “You were a mistake I will never repeat. I’ll do my duty and nothing more.”

  Damn it, I was going to cry.

  “Part of your duty as the Chosen One is to be mine,” Ethan said quietly.

  “Maybe at one time,” I told him flatly. “Not anymore.”

  I walked away. And he let me.

  It was unnerving to be in the caves at night. These were definitely not the caves that were open to the public. The caves went on for over three hundred and ninety miles, but the areas of extreme paranormal strength were way off the beaten path. They were on a path the mortals knew nothing about.

  The plan was to spread out and take down as many Rogues as possible. Kill if we had to, but leave some alive for questioning. If there were humans, we were to get them to safety.