Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned Series, Book 1)

by Robyn Peterman

  “Do you know this for certain?” Ethan sounded doubtful. Was he buying that crap? Wait, I wanted him to buy that crap and drink from me. As much as I would never ever admit it, Heathcliff was kind of right, but I was still going to kick his butt until he couldn’t sit for a week.

  “Yes,” Heathcliff insisted. “There is tons of literature on this. I’ve read it myself.”

  “You do realize,” Ethan said slowly, “that you sound like an ass?”

  “Yes,” Heathcliff sighed, embarrassed and defeated. “Yes, I do. I’m sorry... I just can’t let you die. So many people need you. Astrid needs you. I know in my soul that she loves you and will be devastated if you die.”

  Go Heathcliff! I cheered inside my head. If you get him to drink, I’ll forget about all that male chauvinist bullshit you just spouted. Ethan, please listen to him. Please. Bite me, bite me, bite me...

  “Have you ever loved someone so much that your own existence is of little or no consequence?”

  Heathcliff didn’t answer. Ethan went on.

  “I have conquered countries, civilizations, species... worlds. I have riches beyond the imagination, and the respect and fear of hundreds of thousands. It means nothing.” Ethan’s voice was flat and growing weaker. “Until she became mine, I was alone. I have been without love for over five hundred years. Many times during those years I thought I was happy, but I didn’t really know what that meant until Astrid turned my world upside down. I never knew what it felt like to be whole. She made me feel alive, like a man... not some untouchable prince. And I fucked that up.”

  “Astrid made the choice to transport with Cathy,” Heathcliff said.

  “I know,” Ethan sighed. “I just can’t help but think the chain of events would have been completely different if I hadn’t been so stupid and shortsighted.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Heathcliff interjected. “Astrid is strong. Now that we know of the blood relation, there is no doubt in my mind that she would have done the same thing again.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” Ethan was unsure.

  Oh for God’s sake. Ethan was an ass, an egotistical ass. He had some gall to think if we’d been all lovey-dovey that I wouldn’t have saved Cathy. Men were idiots. God, get me out of this coma so I can feed him and then slap him silly.

  “Heathcliff, I have never been afraid of anything... ever. I’m afraid I will hurt her if I drink from her. I simply cannot take that chance. If... ” he paused. “No... when she wakes... if she still wants me, then and only then will I take from her.”

  “I understand, my Prince,” Heathcliff sounded defeated. “I really do.”

  “I couldn’t get him to leave,” The Kev told someone.

  “What the fuck?” Pam shouted. “You are a two thousand year old Fairy and you can’t get a five hundred year old Vampyre that you trained to leave the room?”

  Pam was pissed like I’d never heard. She also sounded... nervous?

  “I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal,” Gemma yelled at Pam.

  Gemma had certainly grown some big balls, yelling at Pam like that. Maybe the Fairy Queen thing comes with a fantastic right hook or a death wish that leads to yelling at an Angel.

  “Oh my God.” Ethan was astonished.

  “Shut. Up,” Pam ground out at him. “Don’t you say a word.”

  “But... ” he sputtered.

  “Not a fucking word,” she bellowed at him. “You are not supposed to be here. I gave specific instructions that no one was to be in here when I arrived.”

  “Does he know you’re... ?” Ethan tried again.

  “What part of ‘not a fucking word’ do you not understand?” Pam was not a happy camper. Why was she so angry at Ethan? “Do you want me to try to save her?” she demanded.

  “Yes,” Ethan begged.

  “Can you keep a secret?” She stared hard at him.

  “If I have to,” he replied. “What are you?”

  “I’m a fucking Angel with a foul mouth and a bad attitude. As much as I love you, and I do, I am not happy to see you right now. If you tell him anything about this, I will take you over my knee and beat your butt raw. I don’t care if you’re the ruler of the universe. Do you hear me, boy?” Pam shouted.

  Was she talking to Ethan or was someone else in the room? Pam couldn’t possibly be speaking to Ethan like that. Could she?

  Damn it, why couldn’t I wake up?

  “Pam, calm down. Yelling at him will not help,” The Kev told her. “He is heartbroken and practically dead.”

  “For God’s sake, Ethan, bite her,” Pam exploded. “I will not sit here and watch either one of you die. That would put me in a very bad mood. You don’t want to see me in a bad mood.”

  “Holy crap, this is a good mood?” Gemma muttered under her breath. The Kev laughed.

  “I heard that, you little wannabe Fairy Queen. Don’t you even think that I won’t kick your pretty little ass,” Pam growled and then refocused on Ethan. “You will drink from her. NOW.”

  “I will not.” Ethan was cold and unmovable.

  Come on, Pam. If anyone could scare someone into doing something, it was Pam. Clearly she knew him from somewhere. Maybe she and The Kev could physically force him. His bloodlust must be making him weak and needy. Shit, no one could force him to do anything. The Kev couldn’t even get him to leave the room.

  “I tell you what, you are on my last nerve, young man,” Pam informed him.

  “You said it would be complicated... ” Ethan said.

  Pam cut him off, “I said complicated, not over before it got started. So buck up and shut up. I’ve got work to do.”

  I felt Ethan relax for the first time in days. That made me happy. Magic began to fill the room. A warmth seeped into my toes and began to travel inch by inch up my body. The dull feeling of pins and needles started to pulse through my arms and legs, but I still couldn’t open my eyes or move my body.

  “Astrid.” Pam was focused on me like a laser, “You have to fight. Come back, child.”

  Oh shit, Pam had called me Astrid instead of Assface or Asscrack. This was serious. I was trying and praying. I was making deals with God and Buddha and all the Saints. I even threw Santa in.

  The Kev and Gemma began to chant in a language I didn’t understand. It was beautiful and melodic. I was floating into the music. It was misty and cloudy and a little ominous, but I knew I needed to be there. I was calling to them inside my head. Why couldn’t they hear me? Then the pain started. Oh God... bad, burning, vicious pain.

  “Listen to me, Astrid.” I focused on Pam’s voice. The more they chanted, the more excruciating it got, ripping through me, like daggers dipped in fire.

  “Do not retreat,” she ground out. “It will hurt like hell, but you have to walk through it.” Pam was pissed. “If you don’t walk through it, he will die and you will be stuck in this Limbo you’re in right now. I know you can hear me. Walk out. NOW.”

  In my mind, I put one foot in front of the other and walked barefoot across the burning coals. I clutched the stone Nana had given me so tightly I felt it cutting into my hand. It began to heat up. I tried to drop it, but it had molded itself to my skin. My body began to shake and convulse.

  “Hold her,” Pam yelled to Ethan. His strong arms engulfed me as I kept walking through the living hell inside my head.

  It would be so much easier to just die. This was too hard. I could die and go back to Nana. Wait, Pam said I would be stuck here and Ethan would die. My life sucked right now. Oh God, I couldn’t move... hurt so bad. Please let me die...

  “I love you, my Angel,” Ethan whispered in my ear. “Come back to me. I’m no good without you. I’ll make you so happy. I promise.”

  Pam joined the chant. I could feel my body, my real body, jerking and spasming. Ethan held me tightly as Magic whipped through the room bouncing off the walls and creating sounds resembling thunder.

  I was close. I was so close. I pulled my ravaged body up and dragged myself toward
an opening. I couldn’t quite see it, but I knew it was there. My palms and knees were shredded from crawling through shards of jagged glass and I couldn’t stop shaking. It was only a few more feet. I loved him so much... I could do this. I had to do this.

  I gasped and moaned. I was raw and cold, so very cold. Scents overwhelmed me and cocooned me in a safe blanket at the same time. I smelled The Kev, Gemma and Pam, but most importantly I could smell Ethan. My love and my life. The reason I fought so hard to come back.

  I slowly opened my eyes and there he was. I would never get used to how breathtaking he was. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked gaunt, but somehow it only enhanced his beauty. He reverently touched my face. Total adoration shone from his gorgeous golden eyes.

  I still felt a bit like I was underwater as my lips curled into a smile. Pam, The Kev and Gemma surrounded us.

  “I am so proud of you, baby,” Pam said and gently stroked my cheek.

  The Kev and Gemma leaned in and kissed me. I smiled my thanks. I loved my family so very much. I could feel Ethan’s impatience—he did not want to share. The feeling was mutual.

  I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me. I pressed my lips to his ear. “I love you Ethan, now bite me already!”

  He laughed with joy and then he did. Nothing had ever felt so good as his fangs in my neck.

  Pam stared at Ethan and he looked up at her as he drank. She pointed at him and mouthed, Not a word. He nodded his head and my magical family disappeared in a breeze of Glitter Dust.

  “I’ve missed you, Angel. Will you forgive me?” Ethan’s voice was like a caress on my skin. His power and essence ran through me as mine ran through him. He was my other half and I wanted it no other way.

  “I’ll forgive you, if you’ll forgive me,” I said, running my fingertips over his beautiful face.

  His eyes sparkled as he lowered his lips to mine and made me forget my name. Finally, everything was all right with my world.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  I opened my eyes, looked around the room and giggled. Vamps. Vamps everywhere. The mood in the room was light and airy. Happy and relaxed. My fellow Elite Guards were draped over couches, watching TV, sitting around a table playing games. Who knew Vampyres were obsessed with board games? They were playing Clue, but from their posture and faces you’d have thought it was a high stakes poker game. I remembered playing Clue repeatedly after a tonsillectomy when I was ten. Nana had been the best sport ever, but these guys had taken Clue to a whole new level.

  Samuel looked very serious. I already knew from experience he was a bad loser. His arm had grown back completely. He named his new appendage Astrid in honor of my beheading the two Rogues who’d removed it. I felt honored... I think. Somebody Samuel’s age should know better, but a bad loser is a bad loser. Period. David, Luke and Heathcliff seemed to be having more fun, although they eyed each other warily and kept Colonel Mustard in the kitchen with the rope close to their chests. Ethan sat in a chair across the room and watched me. I was bundled up in his big beautiful bed. Venus sat nearby flipping through catalogs and fashion magazines and Paris sat at her feet painting her toe nails.

  I shot a look to Ethan and he winked at me. Oh help me, Jesus, my stomach got tingly and dropped to my toes. That man reeked of power and sex and he was mine. Mine, mine, mine. I was so tempted to fly across the room and tackle him that I had to grip the bed sheets to keep myself still. I could tell by the smirk on his lips and the green of his eyes that he knew exactly what I was thinking and very much approved. I had a bone to pick with my mate, but it had to wait until we were alone. The commotion at the game table knocked me out of my sexual stupor.

  “You’re cheating,” David yelled at Samuel.

  “How in the fuck do you cheat at Clue?” Samuel shouted back, slamming his cards down on the table. Heathcliff was laughing and Luke backed away, completely aware that Samuel and David were about to dance and it was going to get ugly.

  “You looked at my cards, you bastard,” David accused Samuel, as if he’d stolen national security secrets, not just peeked to see if Miss Scarlet did it in the library with the gun.

  “You’re full of shit,” Samuel bellowed back. “You’re just a pathetic player. No skill, no finesse.”

  “Take that back, you son of a bitch,” David hissed at Samuel. “I have skill and finesse.”

  Oh my God, they were such girls. Skill? Finesse? For Clue? These Vampyres had too much time on their hands. Both men stood up, knocking their chairs over and circling each other menacingly.

  “Enough!” Ethan told them, moving between them. “If you insist on behaving like children, I shall treat you like children. You two,” he indicated Samuel and David “can go outside and beat the hell out of each other. If you destroy my suite or, more importantly, disturb my mate, I will beat the hell out of you.” Everyone froze. Out of pure spite he joyously added, “And I will destroy the Clue game.”

  All four grown male Vampyres groaned like eight year olds. This was awesome. I filed the knowledge away for future blackmail use. I was sure he would beat them soundly if he thought they had upset me. As flattering as that may be, I just wanted a bit of peace and no injured friends for a little while. I didn’t want any more appendages named after me.

  I was so tickled by how dorky all these hot sexy Vampyres were, I didn’t even notice the suite had gone silent and all eyes were on me.

  “What?’ I asked Venus.

  “Oooklay at the Ooorday.” she said, confusing the hell out of me.

  Seriously, did she really just tell me to look at the door in Pig Latin? The cool factor of these gorgeous Vampyres was diminishing rapidly. I looked at the door and my gut clenched. It was Cathy and a man... a very handsome man... with the kindest eyes I’d ever seen. He was smiling at me and although I’d never seen him before, I knew him at once.

  Heathcliff crossed over to his father, took his hand and began to lead him over to me. Cathy followed about five steps behind, her head hung low and her steps timid. She was breaking my heart. I was amazed at how much she looked like Nana. How had I not noticed it before?

  “Stop,” Ethan commanded. “I don’t want her around my mate.” He pointed at Cathy. Everyone in the room tensed.

  God... , talk about humiliation. “No, Ethan,” I said. “It’s okay. I want to see her.”

  Ethan’s anger radiated out from him, bouncing off the walls of the room. Occasionally I was reminded that Ethan was like the President, Prime Minister and Pope all rolled into one. This was one of those times. I quickly moved to him and gently rubbed his arms and chest.

  “It’s okay, baby,” I whispered. “You don’t really mean that. Cathy has been loyal to you for over a hundred years. She won’t hurt me.” I put my arms around him to calm him down.

  Cathy stepped forward and Ethan’s entire body stiffened under my hands. The suite was drenched in his power and anger. “Don’t take another step,” he whipped out at Cathy between clenched teeth.

  She gasped and I could have sworn Heathcliff growled. Sometimes I forgot that Vampyres were very deadly creatures. We were not human, and human emotions and ethics did not fit us very well.

  “I understand your anger and reticence, my Liege,” Cathy said quietly. “I deserve it, but I have come to beg forgiveness and humble myself to the Chosen One. To Astrid. I stand in shame of my behavior and request punishment equal to my digressions.”

  She dropped to her knees and went prostrate before us.

  Ethan turned to Heathcliff. “I will not leave her alone with Astrid.”

  Heathcliff looked down. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

  This was ridiculous. “Ethan, for God’s sake, she’s my sister, cousin, aunt two times removed or something like that. I know in my gut this is fine. I’d like some privacy with her, because I have a few things I’d like to say.”

  Ethan was torn. I think he also knew that Cathy would not try to hurt me, but he didn’t usually re
verse decisions after he made them. He’d also never had a mate before who could withhold panty privileges if she didn’t get her way.

  “Please,” I smiled and opened my mind to him. I gave him a glimpse of all the things I would let him do to me and all the things I wanted to do to him. He smiled and looked at me with such heat in his eyes I came close to telling everybody to leave the room.

  “Fine,” Ethan conceded, giving me a look that implied he expected me to make good on all the visuals he’d just seen. I winked at him and he laughed. He was breathtaking when he laughed. Venus raised her eyebrows in shock and Samuel gave me a thumbs up, but I should have known my Vampyre stud wasn’t finished. “You will wear your shield in her presence,” he said. “Heathcliff, you and Sir James will stay in the room. If one hair on her head is mussed, I will destroy all of you. Understood?”

  “Understood,” Heathcliff replied stiffly.

  Talk about overprotective. I didn’t dare utter a word, fearing something snarky or smart aleck would fly out of my mouth and he would change his mind. He stared at me and waited. I touched my chest and activated my shield. Ethan seemed satisfied.

  Everyone exited the suite, including a reluctant Ethan. I was left alone... with my family.

  We all stared at each other. Now that we were alone, we didn’t know what to say. It was strange and uncomfortable. It started slowly and no one could stop it as we began to laugh. At first it was that nervous, oh my God, I’m laughing at a funeral kind of laughter, then it morphed into joy. All the pent-up emotions and fear and excitement bubbled out, exploding into giddy laughter. Heathcliff, Sir James and I laughed until tears ran from our eyes. It was a perfect moment. Everyone laughed. Everyone except Cathy. Oh for God’s sake, enough of this ‘poor pathetic me’ shit.