The Desert Rose

by Larry McMurtry

  Then she put on her nightgown and pulled the shades and turned the air conditioner up high and got her sleep goggles and crawled into bed. She liked to sleep in total darkness, which was not easy to achieve in Las Vegas on a sunny day, even with the shades pulled all the way down the room was just barely dim. Finally someone told her about sleep goggles and she became immediately addicted. With the goggles on it was so black it was like being in another world, much darker than even the cloudiest night, it made for very good sleeping, which was important, Harmony had always been a healthy sleeper and if she got the right amount there was hardly a day that she didn’t wake up feeling cheerful.

  Only if Denny happened to be around when she put the goggles on sleep wasn’t what was going to happen first, for some reason the sight of her in the goggles was a terrific turn-on for Denny, he liked it that she was in pitch blackness and couldn’t see him.

  At first before he got so crazy that had been okay, making love in total blackness had been kind of a novelty, it had a pretty strong effect a few times. But then sometimes she would rather have seen him, after all Denny’s worst enemies couldn’t deny that he was a very good-looking guy, she loved the way his jaw looked and his mouth, but the one time she had yanked the goggles off just in order to see him he said she had spoiled it and got furious. She said I’m sorry and offered to put them back on, it didn’t seem like that big a deal, but Denny got dressed and left and she didn’t hear from him for three days.

  Then once he began to get crazy the goggles became too big a thing. Once he had made her take them to the lake, which was when she began to think once in a while, what’s wrong with this guy? Then he got sweet and conned her into wearing them in the boat when they were right out in the middle of the lake and the result was anything but sexy in her view. It was just a small motorboat anyway and though Denny could swim for miles she herself couldn’t swim that well so it was more a frightening experience than anything. Denny got mad again and told her she was a coward which could well have been true but being in pitch-blackness in the middle of a lake and knowing she wasn’t a good swimmer hadn’t been anything she had bargained for.

  Now she was in her bed and yawning and very tired but she didn’t get right to sleep, it was getting so just putting the goggles on and laying there brought Denny to mind. With all his faults she did love him a lot and kept thinking maybe it was just a little period of craziness he was going through, maybe one day he’d come back and be sweet again like he’d been the first few weeks.

  There was no telling, sometimes people went through periods, even Gary had days when he looked like the end of the world couldn’t come too soon for him. Although Gary didn’t approve of Denny at all, once he even acted a little superior and told her she was like a beautiful car, a Mercedes or something, that had everything it needed except brakes. Then the next day he apologized and claimed he had been in a bad mood and listened to all her troubles and was on her side again, but she never forgot the remark because it was sort of true, in the love area she didn’t have such great brakes, Generally when a guy left her love would be going at full speed, she would be feeling great and not have even a remote suspicion that the guy was about to vanish, and then he would vanish and she would have no way at all to stop the love, sometimes it would just zoom right on, sort of like Myrtle racing to a garage sale only pointless of course, maybe it would run for several weeks or even a few months before it finally sort of coasted to a stop.

  Actually with the goggles on it was more than Denny that came into her mind. Probably the stuff about Pepper and Bonventre could have been some kind of mistake, it was not unknown for Pepper to have little fantasies about her dancing, Pepper did spend a lot of time thinking about her career. Maybe all that had happened was that Bonventre had been behaving himself for once and said something to be polite and Pepper had turned it into a fantasy about having an audition and being famous overnight.

  Anyway, Madonna would know what the story was. It was Denny that her mind just couldn’t turn loose of, her feelings just hadn’t started slowing down at all where he was concerned. She didn’t want to cry under the goggles, it made her feel silly to have to sit up and empty tears out of her sleep goggles, but despite herself she did anyway, not a whole lot of crying, just a little, enough that the goggles were pretty damp. She would just think oh Denny why can’t you just come back and be nice, knowing he wouldn’t probably but still hoping anyway.

  4.

  BY THE time Harmony woke up and showered and had some strawberry yogurt, she loved it, Myrtle was so disgusted from having taken in only seventy-five cents all day that she was looped to the gills. She was sitting there holding Maude in her lap, looking like she was about ready to fall out of the chair.

  “So what was the seventy-five cents for?” Harmony asked, sitting down to drink a little iced tea. She had brought Myrtle a glass but Myrtle took two big swallows and then poured in vodka until the glass was full again.

  “A pair of dumb earrings,” Myrtle said. “I think the woman I solt them to must have been color-blind, she said they matched her pants and they never matched a thing she had on.”

  “Maybe she just liked them,” Harmony said. She could never quite understand why Myrtle was so critical of her customers—she was equally insulted if they bought anything or if they didn’t.

  “I think Maude’s pregnant,” Myrtle said, scratching Maude between the ears. Maude had just about nibbled through one of the canvas arms of the last lawn chair.

  “Oh, Maude, I can’t believe it,” Harmony said. “What did Wendell say about the car?”

  “Ain’t called, I guess he’s too busy fishin’ turds out of that dumb swimming pool,” Myrtle said.

  “Well, it never has seemed like the right kind of work for Wendell,” Harmony said. “Maybe they’ll make him manager of the Amoco station or something.”

  “What’d you put in this tea to make it taste funny?” Myrtle asked.

  “It’s just mint tea,” Harmony said. “Maybe it doesn’t mix with vodka.”

  The day was hot but sort of hazy, sort of a thin haze over the mountains to the west. There was so much heat coming off the ground that you couldn’t really see the Strip, just the tops of one or two hotels.

  “Myrtle, has Pepper talked to you about auditioning or anything?” she asked. Pepper and Myrtle spent so much time talking it was sometimes easier to find out what was going on with her daughter by asking Myrtle.

  Maude suddenly hopped out of Myrtle’s lap and went racing down the driveway like she was going to run for a mile. She was so little it was comical to see her run, but before she even got to the end of the driveway she stopped abruptly and began to eat a weed, as if getting to the weed quick had been the only purpose in running.

  “See, pregnant behavior,” Myrtle said.

  “Well, Maude never has behaved like other goats,” Harmony said.

  “All Pepper talks to me about these days is how much she hates Denny,” Myrtle said. “She thinks he’s a jerk, only that ain’t the word she used.”

  “I think I’ll get my hat and go see if the insurance check came,” Harmony said. “We got to get us at least one car out here.”

  But she didn’t just right away leave. Myrtle was squinting off into the distance. Harmony kept wishing she would drink less and eat something besides Cheerios, she was just skin and bones.

  “She didn’t say anything to you about getting a job?” Harmony asked.

  “Harmony, I ain’t telling you any of Pepper’s secrets,” Myrtle said. “One of us has got to keep the lines of communication open to that girl.”

  “Well, I’m her mother, Myrtle,” Harmony said, a remark Myrtle just ignored.

  Harmony decided just to go on and take a walk to the mailbox, there was no point in arguing with Myrtle when she was depressed over a failed garage sale. She went in the house and got a big straw hat to protect her in case the sun got hotter all of a sudden and started walking down the gravel road only to dis
cover after she’d gone too far to go back that Maude was following her.

  “Maude, go back, you know you’re not supposed to come,” Harmony said, Myrtle practically lived in terror that someone would steal Maude as it was, and if she let her follow and something happened Myrtle would probably never get over it.

  Still, there was not much to be done about Maude, Harmony didn’t have the heart to take really stern measures such as throwing rocks at her, so they walked along together. Harmony had worn shorts, she liked to feel the warmth on her legs, after a little bit of a walk she forgot her worries and began to enjoy the day. It was wonderful to live out of town and have so much sky around you, probably half of Jessie’s problem was that when she stepped out her door all she got to see was city buses and the adult bookstore across from her apartment building.

  The mailboxes were out by the highway, just a nice walk for a person who enjoyed outdoor exercise. Too far for Maude though, she began to run around in front of Harmony and bleat and get right in her way, which meant that she wanted to be carried. Harmony walked around her several times but Maude was very persistent, she just kept doing it, so Harmony finally picked her up to keep from being tripped, thinking if Myrtle suddenly missed her she would go into a panic in two minutes. Three times so far she had called the sheriff’s department to demand they put out a dragnet to find her goat when all that had happened was that Maude had run down to the next street where there were some children she liked to play with.

  Just as Harmony was nearly to the boxes she happened to look up and there was Denny, sitting in what looked like a brand-new blue car right by her mailbox. It was such a shock she nearly dropped Maude, she had sort of half-noticed the car earlier but it never occurred to her Denny would be sitting in it.

  Before she could get any closer or do much of anything he grinned and waved a piece of paper out the window at her.

  “Hello there, Harmony,” he said, and then pulled back on the highway and drove off, still grinning and waving the piece of paper out the window at her.

  Harmony suddenly felt just sick: there was no doubt in her mind about what the piece of paper was. She put Maude down and walked to the mailbox, so weak for a moment she had to lean on it just to stand up. Seeing Denny in the first place had been a shock, but then instead of being nice like she was still imagining him he had to do something like steal her check. She thought maybe it was a joke, even Denny wouldn’t do that, maybe he was just pretending to steal it to tease her or something, maybe he meant to turn around and bring it back and they could have a chance to make up.

  But when she looked down the highway there was not a single car in sight, the highway was hot and empty, which was awfully discouraging. Before she could start to cry she heard a little click click and it was Maude running across the highway, Myrtle would have a fit if she saw that. Harmony had to go get her, but then she gave up on it being a joke and Denny coming back and just wanted to sit down by the road and cry until someone with a little kindness came along and stopped to help her, though how could anyone help her if Denny had really stolen the check? It was thirteen hundred dollars and just about the only hope she had of being able to buy some kind of used car or for that matter even pay Madonna all she owed her on Pepper’s lessons, not to mention that she still owed Visa and quite a few other bills.

  Of course the check was made out to her but that wouldn’t matter to Denny. One of his claims was that he had been a handwriting expert for the Miami police, she didn’t believe it but still there was no doubt he would forge her name and figure out a way to get the check cashed.

  When she looked in the mailbox there was nothing except a flyer from Western Auto announcing a tire sale, plus the envelope from the insurance company that the check had been in. Denny had scribbled on the back of it: “A big hello in case I miss you, hope you don’t mind extending me this little loan and if you do tough shit.”

  Harmony started to just leave it in the mailbox but then she thought she might need the number of the insurance company. They might have some suggestions, plus maybe Myrtle would want to know about the tire sale, the week seldom went by that she didn’t have two or three flats.

  It was not a nice walk home, she couldn’t help crying that he would do that, plus there would be no way to hide it from Myrtle or Pepper or Gary or even Jessie for that matter, all of whom started telling her she was crazy practically the minute she fell in love with Denny. Jessie would probably soften up the quickest, she never held it against anyone when they made mistakes and got in love with the wrong people. Of course Jessie might have had the least room to talk considering that Monroe was probably the best boyfriend she had ever had, some of Jessie’s had not exactly been prizes, either.

  Harmony still kept thinking maybe it could be some kind of joke, her birthday was coming up on Saturday, maybe there was at least an outside chance he was planning to buy her a birthday present or something, she tried to think of good possibilities but it didn’t really work, she kept remembering the way he smiled when he waved the check at her. It was not the way he smiled when he was being nice.

  Myrtle had been in a fret about Maude, but when she heard what had happened she forgot about that and came right over looped as she was and started offering advice, all of it having to do with calling the police and getting criminal charges started. Harmony thought of calling Gary but he seldom got up before four in the afternoon and it wasn’t four yet, so instead she let Myrtle call Wendell to get his opinion. But he was on his coffee break, nobody could find him, which for some reason caused Myrtle to assume he was having an affair with a bathing beauty, she often got a little insecure when she was drunk and imagined that Wendell was having affairs with women he had practically never even met. Harmony got the phone long enough to call the insurance company and ask them to please stop payment on the check, but the girl she got was cross with her because she didn’t know her policy number, though she could have probably found it, given a little time.

  Then Myrtle got on the phone again and somebody at the Grand finally located Wendell, but instead of asking his advice Myrtle spent fifteen minutes grilling him about how he had spent every second of his coffee break and then totally forgot to ask him what he would do if someone stole an insurance check from him. Though it was clear that Wendell had been completely innocent it didn’t have the effect of getting Myrtle in a better mood.

  “Myrtle, you ought to be glad he’s faithful,” Harmony said, forgetting her own troubles for a second to marvel at the fact that Myrtle had managed to get angry at Wendell for not having an affair with a bathing beauty during his coffee break.

  “Well, he don’t even have guts enough to get in trouble, I think I’m losing interest,” Myrtle said. She went back over to her house to get her drink and apparently went to sleep, because she never came back. Harmony sat on her bed with the phone in her lap for an hour, crying and thinking about calling the police, but she never did.

  5.

  THE BEST thing of all about Gary, the thing that made him such a wonderful friend was that when you were really in trouble it never entered his head to criticize. Sometimes if you just bought some pants he thought were ugly or went to a hairdresser he had a low opinion of or were a little slow with a costume change he could be snippy for five minutes. It was more likely to occur over clothes than anything, he was as bad as Pepper when it came to his preferences in clothes, but when Harmony called and told him Denny had stolen her insurance check he just said, “Oh, sweetie, I love you, I’ll come right out and we’ll talk this over.”

  That made her feel better so she got dressed and decided to be brave, then the minute Gary stepped in the door she forgot about brave and cried like a faucet for about five minutes, with Gary shushing her and telling her not to ruin her eyes, she was going to have a show to do after-while, insurance check or not. Then while Harmony was freshening her face he went over to see what had become of Myrtle. Gary thought Myrtle was a hoot and always liked to exchange a few words wi
th her when he came out, but this time he was out of luck, Myrtle was asleep on her little daybed and Maude was on the couch eating the stuffing out of one of the cushions.

  “I knew goats had a bad reputation but I didn’t know they’d eat foam rubber,” he said, and complimented Harmony on her blouse, maybe just to cheer her up. Gary was a little dumpy man about the size of Ross but he had real warm eyes, brown ones, and gay or not he liked to hug her and hold her hand sometimes, which Harmony appreciated, she had come from a hugging family and was glad Gary wasn’t so gay he didn’t want to touch her at all.

  They got in his camper and drove up Paradise Road to a bar they liked called Debbie’s and Marty’s, whose owner had run the baccarat room at the Imperial Palace for about twenty years. His name was Giorgio. For baccarat you had to wear a tuxedo and he had gotten pretty tired of it and wanted a place that was no frills as he put it, so he just bought an old bar and called it Debbie’s and Marty’s, in honor of the couple who went in with him.

  Harmony still felt a little shaky and would have liked maybe a vodka tonic, but Gary said forget it, he had seen her put away vodka tonics before when she was upset and was afraid she might fall off her disc or something if he let her drink. In the opening number she and Jessie, they had always been sort of paired, were the showgirls who came down from the ceiling on discs and of course in the finale went back up again. Harmony had no fear of falling off. She had been riding down on the disc twice a night for over twelve years—it was such a popular thing that the producers kept it in every show—but then it was true vodka tonics went down awfully easy so she contented herself with a couple of beers.

  “Well, basically, it’s just a matter of do you want Denny in jail or don’t you?” Gary said.