The Desert Rose

by Larry McMurtry

  Harmony just got her sun hat and walked down to get the mail. There was no way she would ever be rich enough to go in on a swimming pool. The walk was mainly for nothing, the mailbox just had a couple more circulars for the tire sale. Harmony had been hoping somehow magically the insurance company would have sent a new check but that was only wishful thinking.

  When she got back Myrtle was hosing down the driveway so Maude would have a cool place to lie for a little while, that was actually about as close to a swimming pool as they were going to get, in Harmony’s opinion.

  Still, she was feeling better. She had expected to have bad dreams but she hadn’t, she’d just sort of had dull dreams about spending a lot of time in the Safeway looking for Francois’ brand of liver-flavored dogfood. Monroe was in the dream for a few seconds, maybe it meant he was going to try to be a little more positive about Francois. Anyway, a good sleep always improved her mood no matter how bad her mood had been. The sun was still shining and the world hadn’t ended yet, so she decided to go find Gary and see if he knew of any auditions. What she really wanted to do was turn the tables on Bonventre by getting a new job in one day. Maybe a showgirl would have just quit at one of the other shows and she would be lucky.

  “So how’s Wendell?” Harmony asked, she was sort of curious if there had been new developments.

  “I guess he’s fine, all he has to do is look at tits all day,” Myrtle said.

  That was hardly fair, one of Wendell’s problems was that he only got three hours sleep in the late afternoon and another three in the early morning. Only getting to sleep between jobs might have been one of the reasons he didn’t talk more, Harmony thought. Maybe he was just too tired.

  Then Harmony heard the phone ringing and dashed in to get it, she thought it might be a producer who had heard she was fired and wanted to put her right to work. She was afraid it would stop ringing before she got there, her heart was beating fast, but she got it and it was Ross, he was so loyal he called the minute Martin told him things were going on.

  “Oh, Ross, how are you? I had to run to get the phone, just let me catch my breath,” Harmony said.

  “You sound like you ran a mile,” he said. “Where were you, down at the highway?”

  One of the things she and Ross had in common was that he was from Wichita, Kansas, which was not that far from Tulsa. He had a soft voice, like the people she had known when she was growing up, it was very reassuring to her for some reason. His voice always sounded a little sad, mainly because Ross usually was a little sad. He was one of those men who never felt their lives were working out, though he was a perfectly good light man and could find work anywhere. Except for when he got his worst depressions he was always working—then he might quit for a while and go fishing in Idaho.

  Once or twice they had discussed what they might do if they were still together when they got old and it was Ross’s idea to go to Idaho and run a little motel. Harmony thought that might be boring but Ross didn’t. He said there would be new people coming by every night, at least in the summer season—how could it be boring?

  “Ross, I got fired,” Harmony said, she made a quick decision not to say anything about the insurance check. In all the years they had been separated she had never mentioned boyfriends. After all, he was still her husband, maybe he even still had a crush on her despite leaving and not coming back. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings and take the chance that he would stop sounding loyal. Besides, he had never mentioned girlfriends either, if he had them he was discreet about it.

  “Uh-oh,” Ross said.

  “It just happened last night, you won’t believe all the things that have happened just in the last two days,” she said.

  “Try me,” Ross said, so she tried him, she told him about Jessie breaking her ankle and about Myrtle supposedly having a new boyfriend, which didn’t interest him too much, after all he had never even met Wendell. But what interested him was the news about Pepper, he always took quite an interest in his little girl. Once in a while when Pepper applied herself and got a good report card Harmony would Xerox it and send Ross a copy. Once she even Xeroxed a theme Pepper had written called “My Ambition,” that was the topic they had been assigned and Pepper wrote that it was her ambition to be a great ballerina. She even named several roles she hoped to dance. Ross had been glad to get the theme and had written Pepper a note saying that her old Dad wished her a lot of success.

  So when Ross found out that Pepper was going to understudy for the lead at the Stardust he was quite amazed. “Is that so?” he said, several times. Then Harmony got up her nerve and told him Pepper was also planning to marry, which amazed him so that there was total silence on the line.

  Harmony was nervous about having to admit she didn’t know much about the groom. She was afraid Ross would think she hadn’t been a good mother if she had let things go that far without checking on the groom. But Ross was too amazed to criticize, he had almost never criticized anyway except once when she had been inexperienced and had put the water on hot at a laundromat, causing his socks to run all over his shirts. That upset him enough that they had a little fight, Harmony felt the laundromat should have printed better instructions. Ross kept saying his mother would never have done it until Harmony got a little annoyed, so what if she wasn’t the most experienced person in a laundromat?

  Ross was calling from a pay phone. Harmony kept trying to get him just to make the operator reverse the charges so he wouldn’t have to keep putting in $1.65 every three minutes, but Ross wouldn’t hear of it. He pointed out that she might have trouble making ends meet unless she got another job right away. Fortunately he had lots of change and just kept putting in the $1.65.

  “Pepper wants you to come to the wedding,” Harmony said, she felt her heart beating fast again when she said it because it was a big gamble, there was no guarantee Pepper would want either one of them at the wedding.

  It definitely made Ross nervous too, Harmony could tell he regarded it as a demand on his time. The truth was it made her nervous also, they were both silent for awhile, during which time Ross had to feed the phone $1.65. Harmony felt dishonest, the truth was she wanted him to come for her sake, not because of the wedding. She was very curious if he was any more bald, she knew she didn’t have any right to make a demand but she didn’t have anyone else to turn to, either. She thought she would just try and see if Ross had enough of a crush to do it.

  Then Ross surprised her. He said maybe to the wedding, the thought made him pretty nervous, but to Harmony’s total surprise he said, “I don’t guess you’d want to try and get on with a show up here?”

  “Do you think I could?” Harmony asked, it had never crossed her mind for one minute that she would ever leave Las Vegas, much less that Ross would ever want her to come to the same town he was in. She had only been to Reno once, that was when she did a little tour as Miss Las Vegas Showgirl and then Ross had been in Idaho fishing.

  “I don’t know, I could ask the producer, he might get you on,” Ross said, sounding a little nervous. He was probably not totally sure about the suggestion but at least he had been loyal enough to make it. Harmony was touched.

  “I bet you’re still as beautiful as ever,” Ross said, it was sweet the way he said it.

  “I don’t think I’m too ugly if I get my sleep,” Harmony said, being modest. “If I don’t get my sleep I definitely get dark circles.”

  There was some more silence, not $1.65 worth but some. Harmony didn’t know if she was imagining things but she had an inkling maybe Ross was beginning to want to try and get back together, after all they had never got divorced. As for her she would try it in a minute—she didn’t know if she should be bold and say something or not. She wished Ross would have reversed the charges so they wouldn’t always have to be expecting the operator to break in.

  Finally she couldn’t stand it, she just wanted to say what her heart felt. “Oh, Ross,” she said, “I want to see you, don’t you think it’s been too long
?”

  Ross didn’t seem scared off, he said it had been too long all right. He said he would look around and see if any of the producers he knew in Reno had an opening for a showgirl. He said he would have to think about the wedding, it might be hard for him to get off. He could hardly believe their little girl was getting married, he thought of her as a child. It was lucky he hadn’t seen the Polaroid with the naked boys in that case, Harmony thought.

  The call cheered her up a lot. When things looked blackest there was nothing better than having someone loyal who might want to get back together—at least it was something to take her mind off the fact of being fired.

  Then she saw what time it was, Jessie was going to think she was a terrible friend. She freshened up in about two minutes and headed on to the hospital, wondering what Jessie would think about the news that she and Ross might be going to give it another try. On the way she stopped and bought some mums, in case Monroe or Gary hadn’t thought of flowers.

  It was a good thing she hurried, too. Jessie was there alone looking scared, she was trying to read a teen romance but said she couldn’t concentrate on it. Monroe had had a crisis, one of his mechanics quit, then Gary had come but the pills had worn off and he was totally exhausted so Jessie took pity on him and made him go on home.

  “I didn’t know you had to have so many shots just for a broken limb,” Jessie said, she was a coward about shots.

  “It isn’t a limb, it’s your ankle,” Harmony pointed out, although she didn’t know why that would mean shots.

  There was actually a wonderful flower arrangement already there, all the people in the cast had taken up a collection. Jessie was very proud of it. The card from the cast said “Get well and hurry back!” It made Harmony feel a little confused, maybe Jessie wasn’t fired.

  But it turned out Jessie already knew about Cherri’s sister coming, plus she knew Harmony had been fired. Gary had picked up both items on the grapevine before he came to the hospital.

  “Maybe Bonventre means to put you on the line when you get well,” Harmony said, but Jessie was too pessimistic to believe anything like that, she was of the opinion they were two fired showgirls.

  Jessie said Monroe wanted her to take an accounting course so she could keep books for the muffler shop. He had promised to try and be more patient with Francois, maybe it was time just to give up and marry him.

  When Harmony mentioned that Ross had called and that he might be able to get her a job in Reno Jessie got quite excited. She thought if Ross and Harmony actually got back together it would be almost as wonderful as a teen romance, though neither of them were teens.

  Then Harmony thought of the peacocks, she couldn’t take them to Reno. It was a saddening thought, but then after all maybe there’d be no openings, maybe she wouldn’t go, maybe Ross would decide he wasn’t up to getting back together. She began to lose a little of her optimism—being in a hospital was not cheerful. She held Jessie’s hand while she got a shot and then she cut over to Gary’s and made coffee for him. He was in a very groggy state, too groggy to immediately focus his mind on the question of which show might need a thirty-nine-year-old showgirl.

  Harmony drove them to work. Gary said he didn’t feel like being responsible for his actions for a while, just getting the wardrobe ready was going to be strain enough. Then Billy, the sweet young security cop, came up and hugged her practically with tears in his eyes, he had heard she was fired, word had spread, he said they were all sure going to miss her around the casino. It upset her because it reminded her it was really true, she was really fired. It was all she could do to keep from crying again but she managed not to, she didn’t want to look horrible two nights in a row.

  VI

  IT WAS interesting that Mel actually wanted to go shopping for the furniture. Pepper had got used to thinking of him as a creature of his house, she thought he might get a little freaked being on the outside, but that was not the case at all.

  “Once in a while I enjoy an outing,” he said, offering her some Chiclets. He had put on a tan suit for the occasion, he looked very trim and nice. Another appealing thing about him was that though it was a hot climate he was almost always cool. He just had his life arranged so he didn’t have to be uncomfortable very much. That was in contrast to Buddy, who had a fair complexion and couldn’t be out in the sun two minutes without sweating and turning red.

  A saleswoman was waiting for them when they got to Neiman’s, it was like she had been assigned to them. Her name was Meg and it was obvious she had been assigned to Mel at some point before, they called one another by their first names. Meg had a voice Pepper immediately didn’t like, too educated, plus she was good-looking and not that old, maybe thirty. Pepper immediately wondered if Mel had arranged to have Meg wait on them. She was very well dressed, could have been in Vogue Pepper decided.

  She took them up to a showroom and showed them a lot of expensive furniture, very modern, Meg talked like she knew every designer in the world. The stuff interested Mel more than it interested her, after all they were just talking about a couch and a bed. The couch she chose was pure white and about the size of her room at home, it cost four thousand dollars. Pepper was thinking it would freak Gary out if he knew she was buying a four-thousand-dollar couch for her room, but she just acted like so what? She didn’t want Meg to think she was wildly impressed. Mel and Meg were chatting like old friends, maybe he had bought all his furniture from her, who knew? Pepper thought it was boring, she had no big interest in furniture although it was definitely nice to just spend thousands fixing up a room. She chose a bed that was also as large as her whole room at home, it cost two thousand six hundred dollars.

  Then Pepper thought that’s that, but Mel kept thinking of things. It was a big room, he said. Before they were through she had picked out a couple of chairs and two chrome tables and several lamps.

  Mel was definitely enjoying his outing, chatting with Meg and pointing out pieces of furniture he thought Pepper might want to consider. Pepper decided she was dumb to have ever thought he might be gay—Meg was obviously a girlfriend. The sound of them talking about various designers was making her mad. Meg’s voice alone was enough to make you want to vomit, although it wasn’t making Mel want to vomit, he was perfectly cheerful. After all she wasn’t around the house much, he could be fucking Meg right along for all she knew.

  Then Mel said, “How about clothes, Pepper?” She thought fine, maybe this is where we ditch Meg, but it didn’t happen, Meg came right along to the fashion boutique. That was boring but the clothes weren’t. Mel didn’t seem to be setting any price limits so she bought some very expensive outfits, a Valentino and a couple of Missonis, it served him right if he was fucking Meg.

  “Oh, Pepper, you chose beautifully,” Meg said, she was being super-polite but Pepper just ignored it, she felt almost as angry as she had when Denny asked her about the blow job. On the way out they stopped by the cosmetics and Pepper bought three hundred dollars’ worth of shampoos and stuff. She was really angry but it didn’t stop Meg, she hung in there until they got back to the car.

  “Bye, Pepper, call me anytime you want to come down,” she said. Mel gave her a kiss on the cheek before he got in and shut the door.

  “Well, that was a nasty little performance,” he said. “Why were you so rude to Meg?”

  Pepper didn’t answer. She was remembering that he had said he expected her to have boyfriends. No doubt he meant to have girlfriends too.

  “You’re certainly beautiful when you’re sullen,” he said. He just sounded friendly and offered her some more Chiclets but she hit the box and knocked them out of his hand. Mel whistled and looked amused.

  “Pepper, I’m getting the impression you’re jealous of Meg,” Mel said.

  “Sure, did you fuck her?” Pepper asked.

  “Why no,” Mel said. “I knew her slightly when she was trying to be a model in New York. Unfortunately she wasn’t beautiful enough, or at least the camera didn’t think so
. The camera didn’t love her. She’s bright enough, and has wonderful taste. I helped her get this job.”

  “I want to stop at the record store,” Pepper said. She didn’t believe for a minute he wasn’t fucking Meg.

  Mel didn’t seem nervous, he was acting like it was no big deal that she was ready to kill him. When they got to the record store she told him she didn’t want him to come in. All she wanted to do was buy a poster of a punk group called The Ten Skunks, she didn’t need millions to buy a poster, plus she was in the mood to let him wait.

  “Well, I guess it’s good you’re not armed,” Mel said, when she got back in the car. “I think if you were armed there’s a good chance you’d have done me serious injury by now.”

  “So did you call and ask for her to wait on us?” she asked.

  “Sure,” Mel said. “It’s her job to wait on important clients. Mostly it’s a boring job but we happen to be important clients with superior taste. I thought it might be a nice change for Meg. I didn’t know you were going to treat her like she had herpes.”

  “I hope she does,” Pepper said, she didn’t like it that he was so cool about her being mad.

  “Did you know you get a little spot of color right over your cheekbones when you’re angry?” Mel said.

  “Right, every asshole I meet points that out to me,” Pepper said, she was trying to remember who else had mentioned it.

  Mel laughed out loud, he thought it was all funny. She hit at him for laughing but he caught the blow on his arm. There was no point hitting him in the car, there wasn’t room.

  Pepper decided to forget the wedding, she didn’t trust him. He was so rich and such a good planner, she would never know what he was doing, plus she definitely didn’t believe he hadn’t fucked Meg.

  “I don’t believe you, she’s too good-looking,” she said.