The Desert Rose

by Larry McMurtry

  But Ross said not to worry, he had a friend who owned a little motel. It had a pool but wasn’t expensive. Maybe they could stay there for a few days until they got another apartment.

  “It could be our second honeymoon,” Ross said, sounding a little shy about it.

  “Okay,” Harmony said. The part about the second honeymoon cheered her up. She had been developing a few worries about Linda but if Ross wanted a second honeymoon there was probably no reason. Their first honeymoon had been to the Grand Canyon and they had even ridden down into it on mules.

  It didn’t take long to pack. Upon close examination she decided she only had one suitcase full of clothes that she actually liked, which was sort of lucky since she only had one suitcase anyway. While she was packing it she began to feel bad about Myrtle and decided as a parting gesture just to give Myrtle all the rest of her clothes—maybe it would revive her garage sale business.

  So she hauled out an armful of slacks and blouses and even a few dresses—Myrtle was beside herself with gratitude. It occurred to Harmony after it was too late that she should have offered a few to Jessie, even if Jessie had hurt her feelings about the peacocks. Myrtle said forget it, she would make Jessie a good price on anything she wanted—besides Harmony was leaving Jessie the duplex, not to mention the furniture and all the kitchen stuff.

  It turned out Jessie would rather have been left a particular black dress that Harmony had decided didn’t fit her anymore, it had always been tight and the pound or two she had gained sort of tipped the balance. Jessie and Myrtle immediately started haggling about the dress, Jessie was a little hurt that Harmony hadn’t remembered she liked it, so before the haggling was over they all began to cry—it was not so much the dress, it was that she was going away and everyone was emotional.

  So when Gary suddenly drove up with Pepper in the car they were all in Myrtle’s garage crying, amid Harmony’s old clothes. Maude and Francois were there too. They had learned to tolerate one another, although in Harmony’s view Maude was just waiting for her chance, her main interest was in the dry dog food Jessie was trying to get Francois to learn to eat. So far Maude had eaten several pounds and Francois about one nibble.

  “Well, you’re a cheerful bunch,” Gary said.

  Pepper looked wonderful and didn’t comment on the tears. She just said hi and played with Maude a little. She was wearing a white silk blouse and some slacks that looked quite expensive. While they were talking she went in the house and got a few record albums she had forgot to take when she moved out.

  “That house looks like a slum,” she said, when she came back. “Don’t you guys ever clean up?”

  Harmony decided that Pepper had grown up—she had a lot of presence, it was a cool presence, but a lot of presence. She was so beautiful and well dressed that it made everyone a little uncomfortable, even Gary. He had been drinking too much due to his unrequited love and had put on weight. None of them looked that wonderful, they were all sitting around in a garage full of dusty costume jewelry and worn-out tires. Maude had eaten the bottom out of both the card tables, so that things kept falling through, so in a way Pepper was right, it was sort of slumlike, actually.

  Jessie asked Pepper about her job at the Stardust and Pepper was casual about it. When Jessie asked if Bonventre had done anything mean Pepper just looked scornful and said, “No, and he better not.” She seemed to think she could make sausage out of Bonventre if the need arose.

  “Well, we gotta move it,” Gary said, he was quite nervous, so Harmony got her suitcase and her little traveling bag.

  “Be good to Wendell,” she said, as she was hugging Myrtle. Of course they all cried again, and Pepper informed Gary that she would drive since she was the only one around with enough self-control to steer a car.

  “Oh, Pepper, you’re so self-possessed,” Gary said. “You ought to give courses in it, you’d make your fortune in this town.”

  He was a little biting, he thought Pepper ought to be more sentimental, but Harmony wasn’t upset that Pepper wasn’t sentimental, Pepper had a right to be the way she was.

  As they headed on down toward the Stardust Harmony was mainly just looking at Pepper—it was wonderful to have a beautiful grown-up daughter. She decided that Pepper was going to have a lot more success in life than she had. Pepper sort of glanced at her once in a while, she wasn’t totally cool. It was hard to tell exactly how sorry Pepper was that she was going away, but not hard to tell that she was a little nervous, she honked at people who made very slight driving errors, which made Gary nervous too. He hated a lot of honking.

  When they got to the bus station Harmony gave Pepper a hug and a kiss. She knew adolescents didn’t much like being hugged by their parents, particularly not Pepper, but at least she didn’t seem too revolted.

  “I know it’s going to be wonderful for you, Pepper,” Harmony said. “You’re so talented, you’ll have a real career.”

  Pepper had killed the motor. They were sitting in the parking lot behind the Stardust—the lights had just come on.

  “That’s the nice thing about Las Vegas, though,” Harmony said. “I was never talented like you are, I was just pretty. Nobody would have known what to do with me anywhere else, but here I got to be a feathered beauty.”

  She didn’t let them wait—didn’t like people sitting around feeling awkward while she got her ticket. People ought to get on with their lives, particularly people like Pepper and Gary, who had jobs.

  Pepper didn’t say anything while Harmony was giving Gary a long long hug, Gary was quite upset—Pepper sort of stood by the door of his Datsun, watching the hug. Harmony thought for a moment she would say more, explain to Pepper that it was silly to be jealous any longer, she had never been talented and now wasn’t even a feathered beauty anymore—probably in a few more years she’d dry up like Myrtle and not be any kind of beauty, the jealousy was pointless—the few years would pass soon enough, then maybe Pepper would remember how hard she had tried to be a good mom, giving the birthday parties every year and reading stories and things. But she didn’t say any of it, she didn’t want to be a demanding parent, and anyway it would be better if Pepper just remembered it sometime.

  “Will you say hello to my father?” Pepper said. She sounded rather formal but it was interesting that she said it, she hardly ever mentioned her father.

  “Oh sure, he’s been so proud since he heard you were dancing the lead, maybe we’ll come down and see you sometime,” Harmony said. Then she blew her daughter a little extra kiss and went on in, it was time those two were getting on with their lives.

  She didn’t feel so bad, waiting. The bus station was full of interesting-looking people, and it was sort of exciting to be getting on a bus and going someplace new, she hadn’t really done it since that time in Tulsa when she was seventeen, and the bus then hadn’t been nearly as fancy.

  While she was waiting she struck up a conversation with a man who didn’t tell her his real name. He just told her his nickname, which was Boston. He said he was a professional semipro softball player and he was going to Seattle, where he said a professional could always get by playing semipro baseball. Harmony didn’t quite grasp the distinction between pro and semipro, but it didn’t really matter, it was nice to have someone friendly to talk to. She told him she had been a showgirl and maybe still was, it depended on whether any producers in Reno happened to need one. Boston was optimistic, he said he didn’t doubt she could get on with a show right away. It cheered her up even though it was obvious he didn’t know the slightest thing about it. He even offered to buy her coffee but they called the bus about that time.

  It was getting dark when they pulled out. The sky in the west was still blue, over the lights of the Strip—she still loved seeing those lights. The big dome was flashing in front of Caesars Palace and the Flamingo was lit up.

  Since Boston didn’t know much about Las Vegas she pointed out the MGM Grand and told him about the fire. They were nearly to the Trop when they pa
ssed the Amoco station. Harmony happened to glance out and see Wendell. There were no cars in the station, Wendell was just standing there by the pumps in his clean uniform, looking sad, she wanted so much to throw him a kiss. It would be quite a while before he got her windshield again, like forever probably, and she was remembering Pepper and being a parent and the problems and all and it broke her heart that Wendell’s son was actually dead and could never remember that he had been a good dad, or stop being jealous or whatever.

  She began to cry for Wendell, as they went on past the Tropicana. Boston was pretty upset by the sight of her tears, he thought maybe he had made a wrong move, offended her in some way. Harmony shook her head no, but she couldn’t tell him the reasons, about Didier being dead in their room at the Trop and her not admitting it, about that or about any of her life—but it wasn’t any wrong move, it was just the sight of Wendell, his sadness would go on forever even if Myrtle did let up about the jealousy.

  The tears were too much for Boston though. Ten minutes later he had to go to the bathroom and on his way back he stopped and started talking to a black girl who was traveling alone except for a transistor radio. Boston sat down with the black girl and that was that. Once she stopped crying Harmony thought it was probably for the best, if she had got off the bus talking it up with Boston Ross might have got the wrong idea.

  Soon it was quite dark, just now and then a light far out in the desert or the wink of an airplane far up in the sky. Harmony had kind of supposed it was all just empty and they would zoom along and there Ross would be, but in fact there were quite a few stops. Behind her she could faintly hear Boston telling the black girl about the life of a professional semipro, but she wasn’t really listening, it was just sounds in the background. After Tonopah she got really drowsy and went to sleep. Reno was where everybody changed buses, so there was no danger of her sleeping right through it. Ross knew how to tease and would tease her for months if she did something as dumb as that.

  But she didn’t, she woke up while they were still in the desert and freshened up a bit as they were coming into town. Reno seemed bigger than it had when she had come as Miss Las Vegas Showgirl. It had its share of lights—nothing to equal the Strip, but quite a few.

  As they wheeled on into town Harmony got nervous all of a sudden. One moment she had her optimism and felt very hopeful, but then in a second the optimism went away and she began to think like Jessie thought. After all, it had been fourteen years, it was definitely sort of crazy what she was doing. It even occurred to her that Linda could have showed up during the day and decided to keep Ross instead of just living with the girlfriend. It was hard not to be a little nervous, if Linda had come back it could be all off.

  She was just as glad Boston had settled in with the black girl, one complication was enough, but then she stepped out into the cold bus station and Ross was right there.

  “Oh, Ross, Pepper said hello,” she said, didn’t want to forget that important information. Of course she gave him a big hug but seeing him was sort of a shock, Ross seemed to have shrunk—not that he had ever been a giant, but definitely he seemed to have shrunk. He had always had a kind of potato face, only the potato had shriveled a little and the bald spot had definitely taken over. Ross had hair on his temples but only maybe about ten on the top of his head. She was thinking I shouldn’t have thrown away so many sweaters, it’s cold up here in Reno. Then she got over the shock a little, after all looks weren’t everything, she had probably changed too.

  She noticed that Ross was sort of watching Boston, who had his softball glove buttoned around the handle of his little bag. Boston was moving right along with the black girl and her transistor.

  “How come that ballplayer didn’t take up with you?” Ross asked. “Don’t he know the most beautiful woman in the world when he sees her?”

  “Oh Ross, he did, but I cried and scared him away,” Harmony said, then she grabbed his arm, forget about the potato face, he still had the soft little Kansas voice, plus best of all Ross still had the sweet eyes.