You Give Me Hope 3

by Sophia Smith

  “I’m happy for you. I’m happy that we can be friends like this. It’s nice. I’ve honestly never really had friends. Most of the time, I was tied to my work, but being around you makes me feel happy, and secure,” Brianna said.

  “The feeling is mutual,” Charlotte replied.

  For a second, Brianna felt a strange, almost alarming urge to hug her, but she didn’t think it was time for that yet. But suddenly Brianna was doing everything with Charlotte outside of work.

  They’d spend time outside the house together, go on adventures, and did things that made Brianna feel happy. She also noticed Charlotte was opening up more. She’d point out small things, telling Brianna about how this was something that Lisa liked. When Brianna heard those words, she felt her heart race.

  It was always the mention of that name. Lisa. Something about that triggered the feelings within Brianna. She didn’t even understand why, because in the past, she never even really paid much attention to that name, but every time Charlotte would point out something that Lisa would enjoy, almost on cue, Brianna would feel this sudden ache in her heart.

  It was something which was both a blessing, and yet, slightly annoying. She didn’t get why she was so obsessed mentally with her. It was like her body and mind couldn’t stop thinking of her.

  It both irritated her, but also made her feel a bit happy in a sense. Maybe it was because it made Charlotte happy whenever she spoke of her. It was very odd, and sometimes, when Charlotte would talk about this, she felt a strange desire for Charlotte to continue to discuss this, since it made her happy.

  One day, after they got some lunch together, Charlotte looked at her with a smile.

  “By the way, do you want to head over to my place? I got this new one, and I’d love to share it with you,” Charlotte said.

  “Sure, that would be wonderful,” Brianna said.

  Charlotte beamed, and soon, they made their way over to her apartment. It was a familiar part of town for Brianna, and she felt happy just being there. Brianna always felt like she knew Charlotte for a long time, and she loved being around her as much as she could be. She was now going over to her place, and there was something about that which made Brianna heart flutter.

  When she got inside though, suddenly she felt her heart race, a little bit of panic flooding through her body. She didn’t understand. It’s like she knew that there was something familiar about this place, and it made her start to wonder what was going on.

  Charlotte turned around, looking at Brianna with a bit of concern.

  “Something the matter?” she inquired.

  “No, it’s just…I’m sorry Charlotte, I’m trying to process something,” Brianna said.

  The truth was, what scared her the most about this place, was the familiarity of the location. She’d never been here before, but the moment she walked in, all of this was super familiar to her. She didn’t understand why this was, and it made her feel both scared, but also morbidly curious.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” Charlotte said.

  “Nope. Let’s just…keep on going,” Brianna said.

  As Charlotte gave the tour, Brianna realized she wasn’t even paying attention to it. The layout of the home was so familiar, it was like she’d been here a million freaking times.

  She knew where the kitchen was immediately. When they went down the hall, Charlotte pointed out a place to her right.

  “That’s the restroom by the way. I know that the rooms look kind of the same, but I put a little sailboat on the door to help with labeling these,” she said.

  Brianna didn’t need Charlotte to tell her that because she knew that. It made her realize that this was definitely not just a coincidence.

  The tour of the house continued, until they got to a wall. There was a painted wall here, of beautiful birds.

  “Wow,” Brianna said, feeling the familiarity of this.

  “Yeah, this was a wall that Lisa did. Right before…she was admitted. I’m surprised I’ve been able to keep this up. I feel like it would be a dishonor to take it down though,” Charlotte explained.

  Brianna was about to say that it would be, but then she stopped herself. Why was she thinking this? It made her wonder what the heck this all meant.

  Finally, they stopped in the living room, and suddenly, Charlotte got quiet.

  “These were Lisa’s favorite paintings. I told you a little bit about her, but she loved to paint, and she was such a good painter. I’m actually surprised I kept these up, but they were some of her best work, and I feel like it would be a crime to remove them, you know,” she said.

  “Yeah. I do. It would be. These are beautiful,” Brianna spat out, touching the painting slightly. She suddenly felt her heart race once again.

  Her eyes widened. They looked like the paintings that she did. What did this mean for her? Why did she feel this strange urge to tell Charlotte that she paints pictures like this? More so, why in the world was she able to do so, when she’s never seen Lisa’s paintings till now.

  Charlotte didn’t tell Brianna much about her past, yet here she was, remembering everything like she’d been here for a long time. Charlotte tapped her on her shoulder, and Brianna turned around.

  “Everything okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Sorry, I’m just trying to process things,” Brianna said.

  The truth was Brianna didn’t know what was going on. Why was she getting déjà vu for some person that she never even met till now? None of this made sense, and Brianna felt like there was a much larger puzzle here, that she was a piece of that.

  Chapter 4

  About a week later, Brianna was in her office, noticing that Charlotte wasn’t here. She pursed her lips, looking in confusion at the lack of presence.

  “Where is she? She’s normally not late,” Brianna said.

  Something seemed off.

  About an hour later, as Brianna was about to contact the receptionist to see if she could get Charlotte’s number, her phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey Brianna, it’s Charlotte,” she said in between coughs.

  Suddenly, Brianna tensed, looking at Charlotte with concern.

  “Are you…okay?” she inquired?

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just a little bit sick,” she said, coughing a few times once again.

  Brianna tensed, looking at her phone. Charlotte didn’t just sound a little bit sick.

  “Do you want me to come over? I can stay with you,” she offered.

  “Sure, if you want to. I won’t be against that,” she admitted.

  “I’ll be right there,” Brianna sad.

  She contacted Linda, telling her that she would be off for a few days, and then, she made her way over to her car, driving to Charlotte’s apartment. When she got there, she raced inside, seeing Charlotte curled up on the couch, her nose red, and her throat stuffy as she spoke.

  “Hey Brianna,” she said in a hoarse voice.

  “Oh geeze, you sound terrible! Let me get you some soup and take care of you. I’ll go out and get you some medicine too,” Brianna said.

  “You don’t…have to. Normally I’d ask Lisa but….”

  “It’s okay, I’m here now,” Brianna said.

  Normally, she didn’t do this sort of thing. Why would she go through the trouble of trying to help take care of someone like that? As she started to look at her, she noticed that she looked like a mess, her throat hoarse and nose stuffed up. Brianna wanted to help her, and she couldn’t help but feel that urge to stay by her side grow stronger.

  “Alright, let me help you,” Brianna said.

  She went to the store, getting some soup and some medicine, along with some other cold remedies she brought it back, giving it to Charlotte, who smiled.

  “You’re a lifesaver,” she said.

  “I’m just trying to help,” she said.

  She didn’t think he was doing all that much, but as she looked at Charlotte, she felt the urge to take care of her.

/>   “You’re the best Brianna. I rarely get sick. The last time I did was before Lisa found out about the tumor.” she said.

  “Was there anything you could do?”

  “No. there wasn’t. The doctor said it was too late. All of the procedures we would’ve used would end up killing her faster. So, we agreed to hospice for her,” Charlotte said.

  Suddenly, Brianna felt her body lean in slightly.

  “I see. You can…talk about it if you want,” Brianna admitted. She could see the delirious look on Charlotte’s face, and as she looked at her, she noticed that she was out of it too, which might be why she’s probably not thinking all that much. Charlotte was a wreck, but Brianna wanted to help her out.

  “You can talk about her. I’ve only heard a little bit,” she said.

  “Well, Lisa and I had been dating for about six years. We were in love. It’s the first time I’ve ever really been in love, and I do think about her a lot. She was the only person to ever understand me, and I always felt like we’d be together forever. We were actually planning our wedding when we got the news of her tumor. After that, we found out that she had about three months to live. No treatment would help. She would die no matter what. When I heard about this, I felt like my life was unreal. I don’t know why, I felt like she would always be there for the rest of my life, that I would die first. But…it wasn’t the case. I miss her so much Brianna. I wish there was a way to bring her back,” she said.

  Brianna held her hand, holding it there.

  “I know. You’re doing so well. You’re so strong,” she said.

  “I’m not, Brianna. I’m a mess. I cry about her every night. I’ve…I’ve wished for her to come back. Every night I prayed that I’d wake up and see her the next day,” Charlotte said.

  Brianna felt for her, holding her hand and squeezing it.

  “I know Charlotte. It’s okay to cry. I’m here for you,” she said.

  Charlotte laid her head back, sighing in frustration.

  “This might sound silly, but I…I actually did do something a while ago in order to maybe keep the hope that she would come back,” Charlotte admitted.

  Brianna moved back; a questioning look on her face.

  “What was it?”

  Suddenly, Charlotte looked at to Brianna and then, she laughed.

  “Okay this is going to sound dumb, but I did fulfill her wishes and donated her body to science, so that someone else could use her organs. Her heart especially was one of the main parts which was donated. I know some of the minor parts were used, like hair and skin for grafting, but I heard of someone getting her heart recently. I just hope that person is happy,” Charlotte said.

  As Brianna heard those words, suddenly she felt sad, a tear falling down her face. As quick as it happened, she stopped. She then nodded.

  “I’m here for you Charlotte,” Brianna said.

  But, in her heart, she had a couple of questions. Was the heart that was inside her Lisa’s? Was Lisa the reason why she was alive?

  Chapter 5

  After Brianna left Charlotte’s house to let her sleep off the cold, she felt a feeling of fear, and of course, concern. She quickly dialed Linda, even though it was nearly 10 pm.

  “Hey Brianna, what’s the matter? You never call this late,” Linda said.

  “Linda, I need to talk to you. Can we meet tomorrow morning before work? It’s…it’s about my heart,” she said.

  “I see. We can do that,” Linda said.

  The next day, Brianna and Linda met in front of the office, and they quickly went over to one of the café’s nearby. But Brianna didn’t want to wait for too long. It wasn’t right with all the information.

  “What’s the matter? You look exhausted, and like you saw a ghost,” Linda said.

  The truth was, Brianna got maybe two to three hours of sleep last night, for a good reason. The realization kept her up at night. What did this mean for her?

  “Sorry, I just kind of realized something, and I don’t know what to do,” Brianna admitted.

  “It must be pretty bad if it has you worried,” Linda pointed out.

  “Yeah well, you ever just realize that you might have the heart of someone’s former lover. Every time I’m around Charlotte, I feel…happy. I feel weird too, sometimes sad. When I went to her house, I realized I almost remembered it, say if I’ve been there many times. Then, last night when she told me her story, and how she hoped one day she would meet her again, I felt…. Sad. I don’t really know what to do though. I mean, what can I do in this situation?” Brianna asked.

  She drank the coffee but didn’t pay much mind to the liquid going down her throat. She looked over at Linda, who nodded.

  “We should go see the doctor. He’s in now, and he might be able to tell you the truth or something. I’m sorry I can’t do much, but I’m trying my best,” she said.

  “No, you’re wonderful Linda. Trust me, I’m really happy to have you here. It’s preventing me from freaking out right now and rushing over there myself,” Brianna told her.

  They quickly went over to the hospital, heading over to the cardiovascular health section. Linda phoned the doctor saying they needed an appointment right away, and luckily, the doctor didn’t have a bunch of appointments or anything. When they got in there, the doctor looked at both of them with concern, unsure of what was happening.

  “You okay??” he asked.

  “Yes…I need to ask you something doctor. I’m a bit worried myself, and I don’t know what I should do in this situation,” Brianna asked.

  The doctor looked at them, and then nodded.

  “Ask away. I’ll see if I can help,” he offered.

  “Doctor…I need to know; do you know who the donor of my heart was? I’ve been having strange symptoms ever since I hired a new girl, and I’m confused. I just need some closure,” Brianna said.

  The doctor shook his head. Suddenly, Brianna felt the disappointment course through her body.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t disclose that information. It’s Hippocratic oath Brianna. Unless I get permission—”

  Suddenly, Brianna felt like crying. She had tears fall down her face, stinging her eyes, and making her feel lost.

  “I’m so sorry doctor. I can’t hold back. Please, just tell me, I need this,” she said.

  He looked at her, and he sighed.

  “I’m very sorry Brianna, but you know I can’t do that, I’d lose my job if I disclosed that without the permission. Plus, the donor is dead, it’s not like it could help you now,” he said.

  Brianna shook her head.

  “No, it would help me, so please just give me something to go off of. All I’m asking for here doctor,” Brianna insisted.

  She felt lame for begging for this. She didn’t like begging, it made her feel weak, sad, and unsure. But she couldn’t just sit here and let this go. She wanted him to give this information, because it would provide that closure she so goddamn desperately needed.

  After a second, the doctor shook his head again.

  “Brianna, as much as I would love to, I can’t. I really, really can’t. It’s just not protocol,” he said.

  She felt like crying. She felt defeated, unsure, and scared of what to do next. After a bit though, she finally spoke.

  “I’m sorry for asking for this. The truth is, I just want the donors first name. and if they’re an artist. I just want to know what is going on. The truth is…ever since the transplant I’ve been painting. I’ve also been swimming. Before this, I…I never had an artistic desire period. It’s kind of freaks me out a little bit, but I’m interested in what this means, and what I can do about it. I’m honestly worried, and I’m a bit scared of what this might mean and all,” Brianna admitted.

  The doctor stayed quiet, looking at her with a neutral expression. Brianna could tell he was thinking. Finally, he grabbed his clipboard, writing something down.

  “I don’t really know if I can, but I’ll at least try to contact the family. If they gi
ve me permission, I’ll then tell you. If not, I’m very sorry Brianna. Some people may prefer this to never be disclosed, and you should just understand,” he said.

  Brianna didn’t want to believe this person would hold that information back. She wholeheartedly believed that it would all work itself out.

  “Thank you, doctor. I’m…really grateful for this,” she said.

  “You’re most welcome. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to make this call. No sense in making you two leave just to come back shortly after,” he said.

  He walked out of the office, and Brianna held her hands together, tightening them against her body. If it was who she thought it would, it would both make sense, but she didn’t know what this might mean for their relationship. Would it be okay? She hoped so, but she didn’t want to get too excited just yet.

  Chapter 6

  Charlotte was getting ready for work when she got a phone call.

  “This early in the morning? I thought Brianna knew I was coming in today,” she said to herself.

  But, when she looked at the name, she paused. It wasn’t a number she recognized. She hesitantly picked up the phone, holding it to her ear.

  “Hello?” she stated.

  “Hello there Charlotte, this is Dr. Thomas Moore” he said.

  Why was the hospital calling her? Suddenly, Charlotte felt an ache in her heart.

  “What’s the matter doctor?” she asked.

  “Well, I did inform you a few months back that we used your partner’s heart. It was donated to science and…we needed to use it for a surgery. The person who got the surgery is here right now, and they’re asking me if it’s okay to disclose the name of the donor. You and I both know I can’t legally do that unless I get permission from the family and honestly, I’m not really supposed to do it, but the patient is experiencing some symptoms, and they are asking if it’s alright with you,” he said.