You Give Me Hope 3

by Sophia Smith

  However, when Brianna got to her desk that day, she noticed a small envelope on the table. She picked it up, and she noticed it was a little invitation card. When she opened it, a picture of a wedding was there, and two women on there.

  “What’s this?” Brianna asked.

  Linda knocked on the door, bringing reports in.

  “Hey there Brianna—oh! You got my invite,” Linda said.

  “What is this?” Brianna asked.

  “Well, Vanessa and Jenny are having a second wedding anniversary party. They’re making this all big and extravagant, since of course, she’s been about three years without cancer. Vanessa is happy, and Jenny insisted that I invite you, and she said that she’s inviting a few other friends as well. It definitely is going to be quite the party. It’s in about three weeks, Saturday night. Hope you can attend,” Linda said.

  “I’ll definitely RSVP,” Brianna replied.

  Linda smiled, leaving the office, and as Brianna looked at the envelope, she felt her heart race. For some reason, she had this nagging feeling that Charlotte would be there. She might already be invited herself. After messaging Jenny to let her know that yes, she’ll be there, she sat at her desk.

  “I need to find a nice dress for the wedding,” Brianna said.

  She felt both excited, and a little bit nervous and unsure of what this might mean for them. She definitely was curious as to what in the world she would do about all of this, and if there was anything else at hand. For Brianna, she was just thankful that she had something to do, and the fact that she was even remembered was quite refreshing.

  It was the day of the wedding, three weeks afterwards. Brianna asked Charlotte if she was going. She said yes, and Brianna immediately smiled.

  “You want to go together? You know, so you’re not alone,” Brianna offered.

  Charlotte blushed, but then she nodded.

  “I’d love that,” she admitted.

  “Good, then it’s a date,” Brianna said, flushing as she uttered those words.

  Brianna drove over to Charlotte’s the day of the wedding, and as she sat in her car, she waited. She then noticed Charlotte come out, and for a moment, Brianna felt like time had stopped.

  Needless to say, her heart skipped at least two; beats that day. She looked at Charlotte, noticing how utterly beautiful she was. Charlotte wore a cream dress, one that cascaded down her body. It contrasted perfectly with her black hair, and her beautiful smoky eyeshadow, and beautiful red lips made Brianna start to feel as if her heart was on fire.

  It was…beautiful really. It made her feel like she was experiencing something novel, something beautiful, and she couldn’t stop looking at Charlotte, and the same was happening with her.

  Charlotte was looking at Brianna with the same glance. Brianna was in a beautiful blue gown, which accented her blue eyes, and for a long time, her eyes just stared at hers with a look of pure desire and love. She couldn’t help but love everything about this, and she wanted to tell Brianna that she looked beautiful.

  In truth, Charlotte’s thoughts were swimming with her own personal feelings. She liked Brianna, and she liked her a lot. The feeling that she felt was out of this world, so different from what she imagined. In a sense, she felt a little scared since she never expected to fall in love with someone again, or even have feelings for someone, but this was it.

  This was real.

  After a brief moment, Brianna finally got her bearings together, and spoke to Charlotte.

  “By the way, you want to head out. It’s getting close to the ceremony time,” Brianna said, trying to find the words that she wanted to say.

  Charlotte quickly nodded.

  “Y-yeah, that’s fine. Sorry. I’m just…wow, you look amazing,” Charlotte said, trying her hardest to speak to Brianna without sounding like a total loon.

  Brianna was struggling with the same sentiments.

  “Yeah, let’s get out of here,” she said.

  They took hands, and together, both of them made their way out of there, and soon, they were on their way to the ceremony. It was mostly for Vanessa and Jenny, and this anniversary party was quite beautiful.

  They renewed their vows for a crying audience, but then after that, it was time for the reception. Of course, Charlotte and Brianna couldn’t stop thinking about one another, about how all of this became real, and about the feelings that they had in place.

  After the ceremony, Charlotte was standing over by the punch table, drinking a spiked drink one of the servers brought out for her, when she noticed Brianna coming over towards her. she looked at Charlotte with a grin.

  “Care to dance?” Brianna asked.

  “Are you sure?” Charlotte inquired. This was the first time she’d been asked by Brianna to dance like this.

  “Yes, I’m sure of this. I swear,” Brianna said.

  She blushed, but then, she took Brianna’s hand. They moved closer towards one another, and as the music played, a slow dance, Brianna put one arm on Charlotte’s hip, and the other one was entwined in hers. Charlotte’s hands were shaky as they gripped Brianna’s, but then, Brianna smiled.

  “You don’t need to be so nervous,” Brianna said.

  She looked at Charlotte, who nodded.

  “Yes. Sorry,” she told Brianna.

  As the music continued though, Charlotte felt scared. Why did this make her feel so happy? Why was she so happy to be touching Brianna? She couldn’t get over her late fiancé like this. It made her feel good, and it made her feel happy in a sense, but that happiness was overshadowed by the feeling of guilt that she felt.

  She couldn’t just move on like this…could she? It felt wrong in a sense, and it made her wonder if she made the correct decision to let go of her past.

  She didn’t even know anymore, and the fact that this was something that she couldn’t understand made her feel scared.

  She looked into Brianna’s eyes, and in a sense, she felt a connection that was both oddly familiar, but not at the same time. She was both happy to be with Brianna, happy to experience this moment, but at the same time, this felt like a traitorous move, like she was making a mistake with all of this.

  Something about this didn’t feel right.

  Suddenly, Brianna looked at Charlotte, her eyes furrowing.

  “Everything alright?” she asked Charlotte.

  Charlotte smiled; a fake grin that made it seem like nothing was wrong.

  “I’m okay Brianna, I just need to go to the toilet really quick. Sorry,” she said.

  Charlotte couldn’t stay here. The guilt that she felt for even experiencing a moment like this overwhelmed her, and it made her feel terrible, even though she didn’t feel she was doing the right thing. After a moment or so, Charlotte pulled away, and she started to run off.

  She raced over to the bathroom, closing the door to the entrance and locking herself in there. Thankfully, it was a single-serve stall, so she could at least cry in peace in here. She started to feel terrible as tears began to fall down as she held her hands to the sink. She was so glad she didn’t get any makeup that wasn’t waterproof, because she couldn’t stop the tears that were falling.

  “Why…why am I like this? This feels wrong,” she said.

  She felt like this was a betrayal to Lisa, like she was wrong for feeling this way. She didn’t know why, especially since Lisa told her on her deathbed to be happy.

  When she was with Brianna, she did feel happy. She felt like…a new person. But she felt like this was a betrayal to Lisa because she was moving on. Was it right to move on? To finally let go of the person you once loved.

  There was also the fact that Brianna was so similar to Lisa. Both of them had so many similar personality traits that it felt…almost wrong to do this to herself, to experience this, and yet…she wanted to. She thought it was the right thing, even if in her mind it was something that was wrong, something that she shouldn’t be doing.

  “I’m out of my mind. I’m out of my goddamn mind. The
person I should love the most is Lisa, not someone else. This is so wrong,” she said to herself.

  But she felt that in a sense, while it was wrong, it was right to her. even though she knew that this could end badly, she couldn’t help but want to see where this went. Her heart kept yearning for Brianna, even though she knew it was a mistake.

  But…what do you do then? What’s next? What do you do when you know that you feel this way about a person, but you’re unsure of where to go next? It was all so confusing, and the confusion she experienced was something that she certainly couldn’t help but enjoy, and something she was definitely feeling worried about. It felt so bad, so wrong, and she wanted nothing more than to just….make these feelings go away.

  Chapter 10

  Brianna felt happy about Charlotte and her could experience that dance. It ignited something within her, a sort of fire in her soul, and for both of them, it seemed right.

  So why did Brianna feel like she did something wrong? Why did her heart ache like this? She was worried about Charlotte, and in her heart, she knew it probably was the grappling of feeling that she was dealing with.

  She quickly made her way over to the bathroom. She could hear the sounds of crying.

  “Charlotte?” Brianna asked.

  Suddenly, the tears stopped. There was a pause, and then, the door opened up. There was Charlotte, smiling at Brianna, but it was so damn obvious that she’d been crying for a while.

  “Are you…okay?” Brianna asked.

  “Yeah. Sorry, had something in my eye. Why?” she asked.

  “No, I just noticed that you were gone for a bit, and when I came over, you were crying. I see the tears in your eyes Charlotte. If there is anything that you want to talk about, anything at all, you’re welcome to tell me,” Brianna said.

  She looked over at Charlotte, who was trying her best to hide her feelings. She definitely was happy with the way things were in a sense, but she also felt like this was something that she struggled with as well. Suddenly, Charlotte nodded, looking at Brianna with a smile.

  “You’re good Brianna. I’m fine. I’ll be okay. I just…suddenly had an epiphany and it became a little bit overwhelming. When we danced back there…it reminded me of old times, and I got a little bit sad. I’m very sorry for leaving you and all,” Charlotte said.

  Brianna looked into her eyes to see if she was lying. She wasn’t, and at that moment, Brianna nodded.

  “I get that. I know how hard it can be on you Charlotte. If there is anything you need, anything at all, I’m here to help, and I’m here whenever you need it. Don’t think you’re in this alone and all,” Brianna said.

  She saw Charlotte’s face change. Instead of it being that of sadness, she felt a strange sense of relief in a way.

  “Thank you, Brianna. Thank you so much. I just…I don’t want to be a burden to anyone right now,” she said.

  “That’s fine. Trust me on this Charlotte. You’re a good girl, and you’re worth being with,” she said.

  Charlotte smiled to her, and she felt strangely happy in a sense.

  “Thank you, Brianna. I definitely, definitely do feel better about all of this. I’m quite…happy with everything that’s been going on, and I’m quite pleased to have you by my side. I really am. You’ve changed me for the better,” Charlotte said.

  Brianna smiled, and then nodded. The two of them stood at the front of the bathroom, neither of them saying much.

  “All good. Anyways, you want to head back. We can go inside and—”

  “Actually Brianna, I’d like to leave a little early. I’m not feeling all that great,” Charlotte admitted. Brianna could see the tension in her eyes, and on her face. She understood what was happening and wanted to do her best for her.

  “Very well. If you need to talk or anything, I’m here for you. I can see that there is a lot going on in your head a feeling of guilt in a sense,” she said.

  “Yeah, I do feel guilty. I feel a bit strange. But, at the same time, I feel happy. It’s hard to explain Brianna but thank you. I was happy to experience that dance,” Charlotte said.

  Brianna grinned, and the two of them exited the bathroom, heading out of the main house and past the party. Jenny and Vanessa were talking to two people when they whipped their heads around.

  “Everything okay there ladies?” Vanessa said.

  “Yeah, we’re just heading back a little bit early, if that’s okay. Charlotte isn’t feeling all that great,” Brianna said.

  “Well I’m glad both of you could make it out. We really appreciated it,” Jenny added, looking at them.

  Brianna noticed that both of them looked utterly radiant, and they looked amazing in a sense. For Brianna, she felt happy, and she felt like she was at least doing the right thing somewhat if she could make Charlotte at least smile a little. They both left the house after this, heading over to Charlotte’s place.

  When they got there, Charlotte looked at Brianna, and for a moment, neither of them did a thing. It was strange, like it was…some sort of wall that was put up there. For a moment, neither of them said a word, until Charlotte finally sighed.

  “Thank you, Brianna. For everything. I’m sorry I’m…still in my feelings, but I need some time to think about things,” she said.

  “That’s fine. You can call me if you need anything,” Brianna said.

  Charlotte almost kissed Brianna at that moment, but then, she pulled back. She went inside, tears in her eyes once again. Brianna was doing the same way, and soon, they both were crying in their respective places.

  Why was this so hard. Why was being honest such a struggle? The truth of their feelings was right there, hanging over them like a series of words that they wanted to say, but they both were scared of admitting to one another.

  Chapter 11

  About a week and a half later, Charlotte was called into Brianna’s office. They still spent a lot of time together but were nowhere near as intimate as they were when they shared that dance. When Charlotte appeared in her office, she noticed Brianna looking at her with interest.

  “Hey Charlotte, so uh…I need to go on a business trip to New York, and I was wondering if you could come along with me. Normally, I’d ask Linda but she’s busy, and it’ll only be for four days. How does that sound?” Brianna asked.

  “Sure. I mean, it’s just a business trip, right? Shouldn’t be that much of an issue,” she said.

  Of course, by the tone of her words, there was obviously something deeper going on there.

  “Yes, that’s the plan. It would just be a business trip, nothing more, nothing less. I definitely would like you to come along though, and to help me with anything that happens during the trip,” Brianna said.

  “Of course,” Charlotte replied.

  The plan was simple. They’d be leaving Thursday, go to the business conference Friday, have some free time together, and from there, go back late on Sunday, so they could spend lots of time together. Charlotte always wanted to go to New York, and she always thought that Lisa and she would go there one day. A pang of guilt flooded through her body at the thought of her being without Lisa, but then, she looked over at Brianna, and she felt a feeling of happiness.

  The next Thursday was the day that they’d leave. They headed to the airport together, sitting down next to one another. Charlotte felt nervous as the plane took off, but then, Brianna put her hand against Charlotte’s, smiling at her.

  “Haven’t been on a plane in a bit?”

  “Nah, it’s a bit scary. I’ll admit that,” Charlotte replied.

  The two of them stayed silent as the plane took off. When they landed in New York, they got off. After a bit of time waiting for their luggage, they were finally in New York.

  “Alright, so the hotel should be about four blocks away. Let’s take a train over there,” she said.

  They went to the subway, heading down. Charlotte was nervous about this, since she’d never taken a train in her life. But Brianna was almost a natural. When
they got to the hotel, they walked up the steps, admiring the stately look.

  “Wow, this is beautiful,” Charlotte said.

  “Indeed. I wanted to choose a nice place for this. And it’s attached to the conference center, so we don’t have to travel far to get to the conference,” Brianna explained.

  After they checked in, they went to the fifth floor, and when they got out, they went to the second door on the left, stepping inside.

  The room was huge! One fluffy bed decorated the main area, but there was a beautiful armoire, a kitchen, a big bathroom with a soaking tub, and a big patio to look below into the city.

  It was a beautiful place, and there was also a little living room too. It was a one-bedroom suite, which made Charlotte flush, but she wasn’t going to complain. She felt happy to be with Brianna like this.

  “Wow, this is gorgeous!” Charlotte said.

  “It is. I’m very glad I splurged on a nice room,” Brianna admitted.

  They stood next to one another, both of them feeling happy to be in one another’s space. It was refreshing, it was relaxing, and for Brianna, she felt good and happy as well.

  After they got settled in, they went out for dinner together. After dinner, Brianna turned to Charlotte.

  ‘if there is anything that you’d like to do out here, you’re more than welcome to,” Brianna said.

  “Nah, I’d prefer to spend my vacation with you. I hope that isn’t weird or anything, but I just…I really like being around you, if that’s okay. You make me happy plus, I don’t trust myself alone in this place, if you want the truth of it,” Charlotte said.

  Brianna blushed, but then she nodded.

  “Yeah, I get that,” she said.

  The two of them stayed together, walking through the streets of New York together, talking and having a good time. In a sense, this was the type of New York trip Brianna wanted. Spending time with the person she cared the most about and hanging around with Charlotte. She wondered if she could tell Charlotte the truth, or if she should keep it all under wraps for the most part.