Fall into Darkness

by Skyler Andra

  Out of the three angels, I would have expected Zak to have closed off his heart and be blind to everything, not Mike. But today Mike had shown another side to himself, a haughty and scornful side that had angered both Uri and I. When proven wrong, he’d still refused to admit his error. Proud, stubborn angel!

  I pushed aside my growing anger, and the creeping darkness it encouraged, to enjoy my afternoon with Uri.

  Another couple of blocks later, the apartment buildings and shops grew more sparse until the city opened up to single storied houses, the highway heading north, and sports fields—something I’d seen on television when Zak watched the baseball and football.

  Without warning, Uri clasped his hands over my eyes.

  “What are you doing?” I groped at his wrists.

  “Just hold on, okay?” His voice told me to trust him, so I did.

  Slow and careful steps carried me forward, me clinging to Uri’s arm. My foot hit something and I stumbled. Fast and strong, he caught me easily. Once I was steady, he held me tighter, and a soft glow lit in my chest.

  “Just another hundred feet,” he reassured, guiding me forward.

  Strange noises tickled my ears. Chirping, scratching, hissing, and clicking became more audible as we approached.

  Curiosity burned inside my chest. “What is that?”

  “This.” Uri let go of me, and I blinked at the sudden light, my eyes taking a moment to adjust.

  Tall hedge screens opened up to a picturesque garden inside. I gasped at the first proper plants I’d seen since Shell Cove. I ran my fingers over their waxy surface, sensing their energy, their connection to the Earth. Leaves curled and unfurled at my touch. They sang to me in my mind, responding to my grace.

  “It’s Sterling City’s Botanical Gardens,” Uri explained. “One of the few remaining gardens in the world.”

  For a moment, my heart sank at the effect of this cursed plague and how it had stolen nearly everything beautiful from this world. But then it pumped harder with a fierce determination to quell the darkness and return that beauty to the world. Gardens like this one should be plentiful for everyone to enjoy.

  Plants and flowers called to me. Make us even more beautiful, healthy, and bountiful, they whispered. I reached out a hand, placing it on the stem of an orchid. Remembering what had happened back at The Dragon’s shop, I pulled away sharply and gasped.

  “No,” I told them, and they respected my decision, curling back to their original positions.

  Eager to connect with more of them, I crossed to the menagerie of hedges shaped into fantastical creatures of lore. Nymphs, unicorns, mermaids, and dragons had been expertly sculpted in green. Flowers cascaded down the head of fairy, acting as hair, and colored wings sprouted out of her back, composed of flowers and vines woven over wire. My chest thumped in time to the song of the greenery.

  “This is incredible.” I twirled on the spot, trying to take it all in.

  Uri chuckled and pulled out his cell phone, capturing the moment with his camera. “A beautiful place for the Angel of Beauty.”

  Squealing, I broke into a run, holding my arms wide. Rows of colored flowers flanked either side of the path. Reds, oranges, yellows, pinks, purples, and greens all came together like a rainbow.

  Uri caught up to me, watching me and taking more photos. “You like it?”

  “It’s magical,” I replied. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

  Uri took my hand, lifted it over my head, and began twirling me. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect moment or a better day on Earth. Mike and Zak had kept me cooped up in motels, but this was where I belonged, amid the splendor this world had to offer.

  “Wait here a minute,” Uri said, pulling away to purchase something at a stand nearby. He returned a few moments later with two hats and some t-shirts. “I guessed your size.”

  He offered me one set of the gifts. The words on the hat read, “I heart Sterling City.” I unfolded the shirt with the words “I may love flowers but I’m no petal” and the image of a lily on it.

  “Thank you.” I laughed.

  “I thought it complimented you,” Uri explained. “Your beauty is deceiving. Others may underestimate you, but you have an inner strength and wisdom.”

  I smiled, clutching the shirt to my chest as he slid the cap over my head. “It’s perfect. Just like this place.”

  He nodded as if pleased with himself. “What do you think of mine?” He lifted the shirt to his chest.

  “You are the Carpel to my Stamen.” I clapped a hand on his chest, laughing at the flower joke and his clever sense of humor.

  “What?” Uri feigned innocence. “I like terrible shirts and jokes.”

  That he did.

  We continued deeper into the gardens. Tulips of both pink and white wound along the side of a lake. I strolled near it, watching the ducks float on the water. Looking closer, I spotted orange fish swirling beneath the surface.

  Hard and soft woods grew around the lake, forming a small forest. Birds flittered between the trees. Insects danced between flowers, collecting pollen. At the end of the forest, the gardens opened to arches of flowers rising up toward the sun. Uri’s head almost touched the top of the archways. Hedge horses with grassy manes ran wild through the scenery. We crossed a bridge to the small island at the center of the lake where a few people sat on park benches, throwing food to the fish.

  Being here was just another reminder that a slice of Heaven still remained on Earth. That it could never be taken away from the hearts of humans.

  Uri left my side, gravitating to a park bench with rose bush nearby, and when I met up with him, he handed me a rose.

  “A rose for a beautiful angel,” he said with a glint of desire in his eyes.

  My heart fluttered as I accepted it. “Is that a pick-up line?”

  “You learn quick.” He smiled, though his expression held a hint of melancholy.

  This place swept me away and heightened my emotions. I swam in an ocean of beauty and serenity and didn’t want to leave. Knowing that I’d have to soon, to continue this war with Lucifer, made my chest tighten.

  “I come here to think,” Uri admitted, removing his shoes and socks, then planting his feet on the ground. “Connecting to the Earth clears my mind.”

  I sat beside him, copying him and stripping off my own footwear. The cool grass tickled my feet. Instantly I felt energized. But that feeling was followed by a shock wave pulsing through the soil. Mother Earth was sick, starved of sunlight and nutrients, pumped full of toxins that she couldn’t clear. Shocked, I lifted my feet, holding them up.

  “I can’t.” I closed my eyes. “Her pain.”

  “Don’t focus on that,” Uri consoled me. “Remember that you’re coming to her rescue to fix it.”

  Yes. I would never abandon her to such a fate. Every living being deserved to thrive. Confronted with the direness of the world, I crossed one arm, holding onto the elbow of my other.

  The reality that I had so much to learn from these angels and the world sank in. To stop myself from drowning in depression over this cold and hard reality, I had to close myself off to it. Be hard and distant like Zak. Tolerate it yet hate it like Uri. Be steadfast and determined to beat it like Michael. I imagined that was the only way they’d managed to survive here for so long.

  “Is that how you cope?” I watched the water trickling from a little waterfall over the rocks. A bird landed at the bottom, flicking its tail from side to side, immersing itself in the water and taking a drink.

  “Yes,” Uri replied.

  I put my feet back down, trying once more. I heeded Mother Earth’s call and promised her that I’d avenge her.

  “I also come here when I feel down,” Uri confided.

  I raised my eyebrows. “You? Down? I don’t believe it.”

  He leaned into me and nudged me. “Hard to believe, I know.”

  I laughed, holding onto his light, anchoring myself to him so that I stayed afloat and didn’t drow
n in the dark storm dwelling within me.

  “This place, and a few others, reminds me of the good in the world. The good we can restore if we can manage to work together…” He picked another rose, ripping off the petals, and littering them at his feet.

  “Is that why you drink?” I asked. “To forget the darkness in this world?”

  He blinked. “That’s a bit of a sensitive topic.”

  I kicked my feet, loving the way the grass brushed my soles, trying to lose myself in that and not Uri’s discomfort.

  He let out a long sigh. “Truth is, I’ve become accustomed to drinking a lot to lock out all the shit. I miss being on a level where everything is light, airy, and fun. When I get wasted, nothing matters anymore. I don’t have a care in the world. It’s my fucked-up way of reminding myself of home.”

  I swallowed the pain of his harsh words. “Do you feel like this world, this mission, is destroying you?”

  “God, I can’t believe what you’re getting out of me.” He rubbed his mouth. “I’ve never told anyone these things. In fact, I hadn’t even formulated them into concrete thoughts.”

  I rested my hand on his shoulder. Having him open up to me was worlds away from Zak, who hurt me with vicious barbs to shield himself. Or Michael, who didn’t say much, except when necessary.

  “I don’t feel like it’s changed me, no.” Uri rubbed the last rose petal. “I’m just not able to be myself. Is that the same thing?”

  I pressed my feet down into the grass. “I don’t know. How?”

  He threw away the last petal. “I guess I prefer to be gentle and kind, but this world is fueled by violence and malice. In a way that makes me feel like I’ve failed, despite all the good I’ve done.”

  “You haven’t failed,” I reassured him. “We all feel that way, I think.”

  His words prompted my memory of my trip to the Most High when I’d feared and doubted my ability to make a difference in this war.

  “My doubt conquered me too,” I admitted, staring at my hands picking at my coat. “To the point that I didn’t feel I could do this mission any justice. I’m no warrior. I’m not savvy with this world. So, I returned home and begged the Most High to send another warrior.”

  Uri raised his eyebrows at me. “You pussied out?”

  I didn’t know what that meant, but I assumed it was a denigrating word to say I’d been a coward.

  “You know what the Creator said?” I smiled, recalling the encouraging words that had given me the strength to continue. Words which I hoped might help settle Uri’s own sense of failure. “The Creator told me, ‘I do not give anyone challenges that are easy to complete. Do not give up so easily because you fear you failed the first time. That is the challenge of the earthly plane. You know by now that it is only through faith that you can succeed. Jophiel, when I decided to send you to Earth, I did not make a mistake.’”

  Uri shook his head and rubbed a palm over his forehead. “Fuck, I needed to hear that.”

  I reached for him and took his hand, squeezing it. “There is always space for the person you want to be at your core. I still have to learn who I am in that regard, but I have a feeling there is more than enough time to figure that out. I don’t think we will win this war by tomorrow. Never stop spreading your kindness, Uri. Helping out at that soup kitchen was kind.”

  “I guess it was,” he said, sitting up straighter. The shirt he wore pulled tighter; it fit his body perfectly, showing off every muscle, every bump of his chest.

  “And helping save Gus was kind,” I added.

  He groaned and dragged his foot over fallen rose petals, crushing them. “I revealed my angelic side. I can never go there again. I’ll never again get to eat the best eggs and bacon roll and coffee in town.”

  I picked up the last remaining rose petal and placed it in his palm, wrapping his fingers over it. “You have to. Make them believe. Build their faith. Spread the light.”

  “How do I do that when Mike and Zak underestimate me?” Uri growled. “They view my kindness as weakness, but look where it’s gotten me. Much farther than them. Our philosophies on strategy differ.”

  I felt Uri’s irritation rise up in his grace like a bull angered by an intruder in his territory.

  “If we continue Mike’s way…” Darkness deepened his tone. “…we’ll end up stranded on Earth as fallen angels forever, or dead.”

  I rocked back in my seat, shocked by his admission. An underlying tension festered between the angels. Zak had disrespected Michael’s authority when he attacked him. Uri and Mike’s views on how to win this war clashed. I trusted that Mike would make the right decision and lead us to victory—my time on Earth not long enough to decide otherwise—but I found myself angered by his disregard for others’ suggestions.

  This made it even clearer how each angel differed in their human expression, like the many species of flowers in the gardens. Zak, a wildflower, growing wherever it wanted, breaking the rules, and refusing to be contained. Michael, a rose, the thorny stem representative of his steely precision and defensive nature. Uri, a sunflower, bold and loud, trying to steal all the attention and brighten the room. Me, I was more like a lily, delicate, virtuous, and innocent, but with an inner strength. With such competing beauty, there was bound to be conflict, especially when trying to survive in an inhospitable environment. If we couldn’t learn to work together, sort out our differences, then we were all as doomed as the humans.

  10

  Michael

  The urgency to find Raphael, Chamuel, and Jeremial intensified with each passing day. Uri was easy enough to find, but the guy didn’t really believe in keeping a low profile. Everything about him screamed loud and conspicuous. He drew attention to us, something I had strictly forbidden. Lately, the disobedience within my ranks had extended beyond Zak. I clamped down on my mounting frustration to hold it together. There was no point in losing my shit. Look where it had gotten Zak. It built up like lava in a volcano, needing release, until he’d exploded and tried to kill me.

  For now, I let my irritation with the both of them go… on the condition that we were stronger as a unit. If our combined angelic powers so far were any indication of our potential when we were all finally united, we were going to give this world a hell of a ride and end this shit with Luc once and for all.

  With the four of us, we were still a little crippled. We needed more of us together to have a greater effect on the darkness. That was how the Most High intended us to win.

  Zak’s footfalls matched mine as we made our way back to Uri’s apartment to grab our bikes and meet up with my contact for news on Raff.

  “This better not be another wild goose chase,” Zak growled. “I’m sick of them.”

  I didn’t even look at him. No point in encouraging the asshole.

  “When are you gonna give up, Mike?” Zak grabbed me by the shoulder, and I slowed to a stop. “Raff’s dead. Plain and simple.”

  Fair enough that Zak hated this war dragging on longer than necessary. He was a constant thorn in my ass, disobeying my orders. That I put down to Zak being a dick. But we never gave up on one of our own. Never left them behind. Never left them to the mercy of Luc.

  “We’re gonna investigate every lead, every corner, every shred of darkness until we find Raff,” I said, keeping my cool. “Fuck off if you don’t wanna come.”

  “That’s not very nice, Michael,” Zak said, striding ahead of me. “You hurt my feelings.”

  Asshole used my full name just to piss me off.

  Once we reached Uri’s apartment, we climbed on our bikes. I cranked mine to life and it thrummed between my legs. There was nothing like this feeling. Nothing like being out in the road. I threw my helmet on. Thank god for the rumbling motor so I didn’t have to listen to Zak whine while we rode.

  For the last few years, I’d been putting feelers out with our connections, the believers across the country who supported our cause and supplied intel to Gabriel and I. Now that the warrior had peris
hed at the hand of Luc, I had to take her place and maintain the network of sources by keeping in regular contact with them. A few years back, I’d let my contacts know that an Archangel went unaccounted for. Ever since, they’d been on the lookout, giving me bits and pieces that Zak and I chased around the country.

  A part of me wondered if Zak was right. Were we being led on a wild goose chase? It had been years since we lost touch with Raff; our leads always ended up with nothing. Maybe Luc was playing games with us. Maybe he’d infiltrated my network somehow. Could he be twisting our contacts to his will, planting false information to keep us busy chasing something that didn’t exist? All to keep our eyes off the prize? If so, I’d put his head on a fucking stake.

  Truth was, we needed Raff on board. His gift to heal emotional and physical pain banished the darkness like there was no tomorrow. His power worked better than any of ours, save for Jophiel. When Luc had realized the tides were turning against him with Raff kicking his ass, Luc started to hunt us. We split up pretty quickly for our own safety. With Raff back, our team would be a force to be reckoned with again and we’d be stronger than ever.

  My chest squeezed with dread as I twisted the throttle, revving the crap out of my bike to warm up the engine. Some part of me feared that Luc had gotten to Raff too. I mean, he’d just dropped off the face of the Earth. That wasn’t like him at all. Before we’d split up, Raff maintained regular and consistent contact. Something had happened to him. I just don’t know what. Whenever I’d used my grace to feel him out, I couldn’t detect a damn thing.

  But I’d never give up hope. I didn’t want to consider the possibility of him being dead. The idea cut me like a thousand swords. Without my most powerful warriors in my arsenal, we fought at a disadvantage. I’d never fought underprepared before. The Protector of Heaven was not returning home defeated. We’d find Raff even if we had to search every last shithole on this Earth.

  Truth was, I missed Raff and the others. The four of us, Uri, Zak, Raff, and me, had been super tight when we first arrived. When we were driven apart, it had taken a toll on all of us. It would be good for us all to hang again and get that brotherhood back.