Her Texan to Tame

by Sara Orwig

  While she kissed him, he placed his hands on her waist and entered her, filling her slowly, trying to maintain control so he could pleasure her as long as possible.

  She threw her head back, moving on him, wild and fast, and he pumped with her until his control shattered and he climaxed. She sprawled over him and he held her close, wanting to keep her in his arms against his heart.

  “I missed you,” he whispered, stroking her back lightly.

  She turned to look up at him and then she shifted beside him. He turned onto his side to face her, still with his arm around her tiny waist.

  “I want to stay here with you in my arms,” he confessed. “I know we weren’t going to do this, but I’m glad we did. I’ve been trying to do what you want, Jessie, but I missed you so damn much while I was in Dallas.”

  Her eyes widened slightly as if he had surprised her. Was she so wrapped up in her future plans that he meant nothing to her?

  She squeezed him, hugging him tightly while she raised her head to brush a kiss on his shoulder, but she kept an uncustomary silence as she laid her head back on his shoulder. Had he angered her? Disappointed her? It wasn’t like her to be so quiet.

  Even as he worried, he couldn’t keep from relishing the moment because she was in his arms and he didn’t want to let her go.

  Was he in love?

  The question constantly plagued him now. If he was in love, he had fallen in love with the wrong woman. He didn’t think she would move in with him or have even a brief affair. He wasn’t ready for a lifetime commitment. Not at this point. He didn’t even know if what he felt was truly love.

  He combed his fingers gently through her hair, wishing she would stay in bed with him for hours.

  “Jessica, are you unhappy?” he asked.

  She shifted slightly to look up at him. “I’m worried because I wasn’t going to do this again. Each time I make love to you, a chunk of my heart becomes yours and the bond between us grows stronger for me. I was a virgin when I married. I know, that doesn’t fit with my looks and my social life. I’ve always drawn boys and been friends with them, but intimacy holds a deep meaning for me, physically and emotionally. That’s why this divorce has been so upsetting. It tore up all my faith in myself and my judgment. I’m scared of doing that again.”

  “Ahh, I don’t want to ever hurt you.”

  She shifted, scrambling to grab the sheet and tug it around her and beneath her arms. Getting aroused again, he watched her, thinking she had to be the most gorgeous woman he had ever known, and the sexiest. He reached out to toy with her soft hair. “You don’t need that sheet.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said, beginning to sound more brusque, as if she was throwing up a wall between them. It was his fault. Because of his actions he had brought on unhappiness for her and he’d never intended that. His hand stilled while he studied her.

  “I shouldn’t have let this happen,” she said as if thinking aloud. He had never heard a woman say that to him before and it was like getting stabbed in his heart to hear it come from Jessica.

  “Jessica, you were a willing, eager participant. I didn’t force anything.”

  “Of course not. I didn’t mean that. It’s just that you’re irresistible to me—”

  He groaned. “When you say something like that, how can I keep from reaching for you? Irresistible? That makes me want you in my arms with all my being.”

  “It’s just a fact. Now let me finish.”

  He inhaled and stared at her. “You’re a complicated woman.”

  “We’re all complicated, Ryan. Well, maybe you’re less so because you don’t take life too seriously. Look, you’re not the marrying type. I have a feeling you’ve had a string of relationships that simply meant a good time to you. I think you’ve left some broken hearts behind because I’ve seen local women look at you the way a hungry dog looks at a bone.”

  “Jessica—”

  “Wait and listen to me,” she said, frowning slightly. “Even if you fell madly in love with me and I fell in love with you, we couldn’t possibly marry and I would get hurt badly again.”

  “I can think of reasons for us to avoid marriage, but I want to hear your theories on this,” he said, scooting up in bed so he faced her and tossing the tail of the sheet across himself.

  “I promise you that I’m going home to Tennessee,” she declared firmly, giving him a steady, intense look. “You are going to retire in a few years and become a full-time rancher. We would not fly back and forth and see each other on weekends or anything else. I’m not giving up going home to Tennessee. I’ve told you before that your ranch has been perfect for me to have a quiet, secluded life, but for a lifelong commitment, I couldn’t possibly live here.

  “All of your relationships have been short, not serious. I don’t care to stay in Texas for a fling and then watch you walk away. I’m really not the type for you. I’m way too earnest about life and relationships.” She shook her head, as if to rid herself of her thoughts. “It’s a moot point right now because we’re not deeply in love. But if we keep making love like this—and I’m including dinner and dancing as well as making love—we might be in love. Real love.”

  “I think you’re conjuring up something you don’t need to worry about,” he said quietly. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I’m not remotely ready for marriage. I know you’re not either at this point in your life.”

  “No, I’m not, but I don’t want to fall in love with you. We get along. We have fun together and you’re incredibly sexy. You’re also incredibly kind and understanding. More so than anyone else has ever been.”

  Leaning forward, he inhaled deeply as he slid his arm around her waist. “Jessica—”

  “Ryan, are you listening to me?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “No, you’re not or you wouldn’t have put your arm around me. That’s exactly what I think I should avoid and I’ve been telling you why.” She wriggled away and stood, sweeping the sheet around her and leaving him and her clothes, which were scattered about the room.

  “Way to go, Delaney,” he whispered to himself. Now he would have to keep his distance. Yet Jessica had been ready and willing to make love. All the worries and coolness had come afterward. She had been an eager partner. Telling him that he was “irresistible” to her just made him want her more than ever.

  Even so, she was unhappy and he had caused it and it made him feel terrible. He wanted her happy and filled with her usual smiles. This wasn’t like her.

  “Dammit,” he said, standing to gather his clothes. He placed hers in a heap on a chair where she could find them and then left for his suite to shower and change.

  All the time he showered, he tried to think of ways to make amends to her. The best way would be to stay in Dallas or work in Houston. If he gave her time and distance, she might cheer up and feel better again. He would accompany her to church Sunday morning and then leave for Houston.

  He needed to treat her as his cook and nothing else. No taking her out again. It was what she wanted and he was making her miserable this way. Besides, he was beginning to feel too much, be too serious about her. He needed to distance himself for his own sake. He thought about the night, which had been perfect until after their lovemaking.

  As he showered and dressed in jeans and a denim shirt, he continued to think about their lovemaking. She was exciting, fun, beautiful, sexy, hot and giving, totally responsive to him.

  And now she was off-limits.

  He sighed as he combed his hair. He hated to think about not being around her. He stared at his reflection, but instead of himself he was seeing Jessica’s big blue eyes clouded with worry. He shook his head and left. He’d head out to find Jeb and some work to do. He had to keep busy if he wanted to keep out of Jessica’s way.

  He worked with his hands all
day, ate at the bunkhouse with the men and then went back to the house, going to his suite without seeing her. He worked on his computer—he kept the same records at home as he did at his office. Finally, he showered and crawled into bed, but sleep wouldn’t come.

  He gave up and dressed again to go to the rec room connected to the bunkhouse. There were always guys still up and often a poker game he might watch. He never played at the ranch, because he didn’t want to win and take money from guys who worked for him. Jeb was a poor sleeper, so he might still be up and around.

  When he stepped outside, the yellow tabby was curled up in a padded chair. The cat raised its head to look at him with big cat eyes. He walked over to pet it. “Sunshine, right now you’re making her a lot happier than I am. I hate to envy a cat, but I think I do. I hope you like your new home. You came to the right place, just please don’t put out the word about the ranch.” He went down the porch steps and stopped in the barn to look at the new dog and pups, but they were nowhere to be found and he guessed they must be at the bunkhouse.

  “Ry?”

  He heard Jeb and turned around. “Yeah.”

  “I saw the light come on up here and couldn’t imagine who was in here. Most of the guys are in town. The few that are left are either sacked out or in a poker game.”

  “Where’s the mama and her pups?”

  “They’re with the guys. The pups are getting cuter and everyone wanted them around, so they’ve moved her. Jessica seems happy and for sure the pups are. C’mon. We can sit on the porch.”

  Ryan went with him, switching off the lights and walking in an easy silence beside Jeb. They climbed the wooden steps and sat in tall rockers. Ryan propped his feet on the porch rail. “I’ve made her unhappy, Jeb. I think I need to stay out of her way. I’ll go to Houston or Dallas and give her some space. I don’t want her to quit, because she’s mending. She keeps saying the ranch is a good place for her.”

  “Might be, but if you go to Houston or Dallas, there’s no reason for her to stay and cook, because there’s no one to cook for half the time. There’s staff, but they eat here or elsewhere a lot of the time.”

  Ryan thought about Jeb’s statement and they sat in silence. “She’ll stay because she volunteers in town. When I’m here I have to stay out of her way and treat her the same way I do Gwen and the others,” Ryan said finally.

  “I expect that’s right. I’m sure you never intended to make her unhappy. She understands that, doesn’t she?”

  “Yes. I think she’s a little unhappy with herself. She thinks we shouldn’t go out together. That’s worrying her. She’s still unsure of herself from what’s happened and she doesn’t want to get involved with anyone.”

  “So give her time alone. That’s simple.”

  “Yeah,” Ryan said. “I’m going to have to do that.”

  “You sound like you are declaring you’re going to have to jump off Lonesome Peak.”

  “Yeah. I feel kinda like it,” he admitted. “She’s good company and if she leaves, I sure will miss her cooking,” he said. He would miss more than her cooking, but he couldn’t make that admission to Jeb. His private life had always been private. He was as close to Jeb as he was to Zach, maybe closer, but there were a lot of things he didn’t care to put into words or try to explain or even share with anyone else.

  “I figured this day would come sometime,” Jeb said, “but I didn’t expect it with her. When she drove up in that red car of hers, she looked like the party girl deluxe.”

  “Far from it. Jeb, she takes life seriously. She’s fun when we’re out, but she’s not a party girl.”

  “Just goes to show you can’t make rash judgments. I know she’s tenderhearted. Just look at the dogs and the cat she took in. I’ll tell you, if the animal kingdom can communicate, you’re going to have a flood of homeless pets.”

  “I know. Let’s just hope they don’t communicate.”

  “We have a hound hanging around that she hasn’t spotted yet and it’s skittish with the guys, but I figure sooner or later, it’ll drift up to your house and have a home. Then there was an old cat that Theo shot.”

  “Oh, hell. If she gets word of that, she’ll pack and go.”

  “It wasn’t like Theo did it for no reason. That cat was rabid for sure. It was an old fighter alley cat that lived its nine lives years ago. It had a stump of a tail, one ear slightly gone and one eye gone. It was killing chickens and kind of loony. It would hiss at anyone who came close.”

  “Nothing on this earth would hiss at Jessica. If it had rabies, it had to go. But please don’t even mention it to Jessica.”

  They sat in another easy silence and Ryan thought about Jessica. He wanted to be with her now, to hold her. He should have just kept quiet and held her close and at least he would have had more time with her.

  He sighed, hating that she was hurt or worried, missing her, wishing he’d done more to try to ease her concerns.

  “Want a beer?”

  “Sure.”

  Jeb got up and went inside to return in minutes with two beers, handing one to Ryan.

  “Thanks.”

  They sat and sipped their beer and Ryan was lost in thoughts about Jessica again. Finally, he rose. “I’ll head home. See you tomorrow, Jeb.”

  “Sure, Ry.”

  He walked back through the darkness, his thoughts on Jessica. Was she able to sleep? He didn’t want her to quit or leave. He would have to avoid her and personal contact and when he was around her, treat her just as he did Gwen.

  He wasn’t certain that was possible. And it hadn’t really helped that she’d told him that he was “irresistible” to her. He groaned aloud as he climbed the steps and crossed the porch to go inside. He locked the door and went to his gym. The door was closed, but he heard the treadmill running. He debated whether to go in or stay away. Maybe it was Gwen on the treadmill. If it was, he would go ahead with his exercise. But if it was Jessica... He thought he’d better leave her alone, so he turned around and went to his room.

  Before he entered, he stopped and thought about her walking on the treadmill. She obviously couldn’t sleep either. He swore softly and turned around to head back to his gym. He went inside and made his way to the elliptical machine with just a wave at Jessica.

  She smiled, which made him feel a tiny degree better. At least she would smile at him.

  Ignoring her, he adjusted the machine and began to work out. She wore earbuds and had a radio in her pocket. He worked up a sweat, which she had already done when he’d entered. Her hair was in a ponytail, bouncing as she ran, with tendrils falling free around her face.

  She wore shorts and it took an effort to keep from looking at her long bare legs. When had she gotten so important to him? Whatever happened between them, he didn’t want her to leave. That would make him feel terrible, besides missing her.

  He’d worked out for twenty-five minutes when he heard the treadmill slow. He watched her stop and turn off the machine, then switched his off and stepped away.

  “Jessica,” he said, picking up his towel to wipe his forehead and drape it around his neck. “Wait up.” He caught up with her. “You look like you’ve had a good workout.”

  “Yes,” she answered, still waiting.

  “Let’s go get ice water and talk just a minute. We can sit in the kitchen. I want to talk to you.”

  For a moment he thought she was going to say no, but then she nodded. “For a short time, Ryan. It’s late and church is tomorrow.”

  “Thanks. Also, I’d like to go to church with you—for the same reason I’ve gone before.”

  “Sure, thanks.”

  He walked beside her in silence, fighting the urge to touch her. He wanted to place his arm across her shoulders, an innocuous gesture, but he resisted and kept his hands to himself. She was uncharacteristic
ally quiet with him, which also made him feel bad.

  In the kitchen he switched on lights. “You have a seat. I’ll get drinks or anything else you want. What would you like?” Ryan asked.

  “A glass of water is good,” she said as she headed for the kitchen table in the adjoining area.

  Ryan got ice and filled glasses with cold water, then carried one to her before pulling out a chair across from her.

  * * *

  Jessica watched him in silence. She was torn with mixed emotions. She had said what she needed to and gotten away from him, something else that needed to be done. She should just quit and move on, but the place was absolutely perfect for what she wanted. She was already better, far more relaxed, stronger, healthier, more able to cope. She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh and she could admit to herself that a good part of her anger and impatience was at herself and not at Ryan.

  She hadn’t meant for the lovemaking to happen today. Yet his slightest touch, his kisses, his being gone all week—it had all built to exactly what had happened. He was irresistible to her. She shouldn’t have told him that, but he was. She should have discouraged him, avoided seduction.

  She didn’t want to quit and move on, but if she had to, she would. This had been the haven she wanted. On a temporary basis, she loved everything about the ranch and also about Bywater—the people she had met and friends she was beginning to make. No matter how great it all was, she couldn’t deal with it and have an affair with Ryan at the same time. She would be in love with him and that would be a major disaster. He should understand, but she suspected he had never taken an affair seriously and he couldn’t begin to grasp why she was so upset.

  She faced him as she sipped her water and wondered why he wanted to talk. She wouldn’t change her mind.

  “Jessie, I didn’t want to hurt or upset you today,” he said solemnly, and she drew a deep breath. Now she felt she had been hurtful to him and that wasn’t what she had intended.

  “I know you didn’t. We made love. We shouldn’t have. I’m the one who should have prevented it. I’m the one who didn’t want to while at the same time, you know I wanted to. That’s the problem. I do want to, but I’ll get hurt badly if I continue an intimate relationship with you.”