I'll Never Stop

by Jessica Lynch

  Sidling close to the edge, she watched him sleep for a minute before reaching out and tucking a stray curl behind his ear. She ran her pointer finger down the length of his cheek, then his jaw, caressing him sweetly. When she reached his chin, she took a deep breath, yanked her hand back, lowered it a bit, then jabbed him in the side.

  Grace waited until he jerked awake to ask innocently, “You up, babe?”

  “Tiger? Is everything alright? What’s going on?”

  His voice usually sounded like he gargled with gravel. Now that it was even rougher from sleep, Grace had to stop herself from climbing into bed with him. Later, she told herself. First, she had something she had to do.

  “Everything’s fine. Promise.”

  “Okay,” Rick said. She could hear the lure of sleep in his tone as he closed his eyes and started to roll over.

  She poked him again.

  He stopped rolling in one direction, throwing his bulk back the other way so that he was lying flat on his back again. His eyelids fluttered, focusing, and she knew that she actually managed to wake him this time.

  “Nothing’s wrong, but I… I needed to head out of Hamlet to do some shopping. Normally, I wouldn’t bother you for something so silly. You know that. It’s just—”

  She didn’t even have to finish her statement. They both knew how difficult it was for her to go past the gulley—it took everything she had in her yesterday to make that trip alone—and Rick would never hold that against her.

  So that long, convoluted story she came up with in order to get him in the truck?

  No need.

  “Okay. Yeah.” Rick pulled himself up, scrubbing his hand over his face as he wiped away the last of his rest. He yawned, shaking it off, as he immediately reached for his radio and his keys. “Just, uh, let me take a piss and change my clothes. Then we can go.”

  The butterflies in her belly flapped wildly. She gave him a winning grin, trying to disguise her nerves. “I’m ready when you are, babe.”

  At least, she hoped she was.

  Grace kept up the pretense that they were heading out of Hamlet for the first few minutes that they were in Rick’s truck. But, because he lived so close to the edge of town, she had to stop him before they got too far.

  As soon as she saw the backside of the wooden sign coming up on their left, Grass reached out and laid her hand on his arm.

  “Do me a favor? Stop the truck.”

  Rick looked at her curiously. He didn’t question her, though. He just pressed on the brakes until the truck was idling.

  She had everything she needed in the small beige shopping tote on her lap. Picking it up, Grace opened the passenger side door and hopped out of the truck.

  The slam of the other door said that Rick was coming out to see what she was doing.

  Good.

  She took out the small jar of paint Maria loaned her and twisted off the cap just as she sensed him joining her on her side of the truck.

  “Tiger, what—”

  Focused on her task, she hushed him. Daring a peek up at him over her shoulder, she saw that Rick’s dark eyes had lit up in amusement, but he didn’t say another word.

  Palming the jar, Grace set the lid on top of the truck’s hood, careful not to splatter any of the green paint. She reached back into the shopping tote and pulled out the paintbrush. She looked up at Rick, her heart in her throat and butterflies in her belly, and said, “Come with me.”

  Grace led him over to the sign. Her hands were trembling and she took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Then, after dipping the tip of the brush into the paint, she drew a decisive stroke through the 191 on Maria’s sign.

  “What are you—”

  “Not done yet.”

  She didn’t want to mess up Maria’s handiwork. Her friend wouldn’t mind, she already knew that, but still. This moment was important. She refused to mess this up.

  The tip of her tongue peeked out from between her lips. She leaned in, taking her time to complete the next five brushstrokes until the sign now read:

  Welcome to Hamlet

  est. 1941

  Population: 191 192

  ~ Hamlet Helps ~

  “Okay. I’m finished.”

  Grace watched as Rick looked at the sign with a puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little confused here. I thought Maria made a new sign when we got engaged. Didn’t she add you to the population count then?”

  “She did.” With a soft exhale, she knelt to place the open jar of paint by her foot before straightening. With Rick’s eyes on her, she slowly moved her free hand up so that it was resting on her middle. “But she didn’t know that we’re bringing someone new to Hamlet. I figured, might as well change the sign now that I’m positive.”

  It took him a minute. Rick looked from Grace, to the shiny, wet paint, and then back. His eyes widened.

  “Wait a minute. Grace… are you telling me—”

  Biting down on her bottom lip, she nodded.

  For a heartbeat, where Rick stood as still as a statue and his chiseled features seemed to turn to stone, Grace was afraid that he wouldn’t take this news well. They’d only been together for a little more than five months, and the engagement was already a whirlwind that left her twisted and dizzy.

  She knew deep down that Rick worried that his rushing her into marriage would remind her of Tommy; she also knew he was afraid that, one day, she might accuse him of taking advantage. It was why he was careful not to push her into setting a date for the wedding. He wanted Grace to have the chance to change her mind.

  She never would have, even before the outsider doctor she went to see yesterday confirmed her suspicions.

  Now, with her revelation, she was prepared to give Rick the chance to change his mind.

  Grace just really, really hoped he wouldn’t.

  The paintbrush bobbed in her hand, nervous fingers twitching as she looked up at Rick, waiting for him to do something. Say something.

  He blinked. A second later, the biggest grin she’d ever seen him wear—even bigger than the satisfied one he wore their first night together—split his face wide open. He lunged forward, sweeping Grace up in his arms, spinning around madly as she laughed joyously.

  With infinite care, he set her back down on her feet, brushing aside her giggled apologies for the smears of green paint that colored his t-shirt. She still grasped Maria’s paintbrush between her fingers until Rick eased it from her iron grip and tossed it toward the truck.

  Grace made a mental note to replace it, then immediately forgot all about Maria and paint and everything else except for the big man who dropped to his knees in front of her, cradling her back with one hand while laying his cheek gently against her belly.

  “You’re going to have a baby. Our baby.”

  A well of emotion replaced her heart in her throat, causing her to work to find her voice. It was everything. From the way he treated her so sweetly, to the way he dropped to his knees in supplication while saying things like our baby…

  They were together. A team. He didn’t own her any more than she owned him.

  This… now this was love. She was sure of it.

  Grace tried to keep her tone light as she ran her fingers lightly through his curls. He would tell her that it was time for another trim, but she liked it like this. And he would let it grow. “That’s what the doctor tells me, Rick. In about seven months, we’re gonna have a baby.”

  He let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a sob, squeezing her with as much force as he dared.

  But because she was worried, because she was unsure, she had to ask, “Are you happy?”

  “Happy?” Rick tilted his head back, looking up at her from his place in the dirt. “No, I’m not happy.”

  She blinked, stunned. Okay. That wasn’t the answer she was hoping for.

  Before Grace could fully process the sting in his solemn words, he was already rising up from the ground, taking her in his arms and pulling her cl
ose. The hurt came a split second later and she placed her palms against her chest, shoving with all of her strength.

  This was stupid. She’d only come to terms with the news yesterday morning and she’d spent the last day and a half trying to think of a memorable way to tell Rick he was going to be a father. After the lengths he went to to give her a sweet proposal, she wanted to do something for him.

  It never crossed her mind that he wouldn’t be ecstatic to hear the news. Sure, there hadn’t been time to discuss children. Most of their future consisted of taking it one day at a time, knowing they were committed to each other and that everything else could wait.

  Only, life had different plans for both of them.

  She thought he would be happy.

  Damn it, why wasn’t he happy?

  “Let me go,” she demanded. Another push, but he was rock solid. “I’m not kidding, Rick. Let me go now!”

  “Not until I finish what I was saying first. Look, I’m not happy. Happy? Shit, I was happy the day you first snarled at me, my frisky little kitten. I never hoped for more than that from you, because, honestly? I never thought you’d give me another look. When you did, when you went to the coffeehouse with me, I was over the damn moon. Then you came home with me and, well, that’s when I got a little bit excited.

  “Okay, no, I wanna be completely honest here, Tiger. I was excited—constantly excited, trust me—ever since the first time I had to show you self-defense techniques. I just couldn’t show you how much you affected me because it wouldn’t be right. I was supposed to help you, not help myself to you. But once you gave me a hint you were interested? No holding back, right? I didn’t have to hold back. And that made me feel whole. Not shattered, not broken. Complete. And that’s so much better than happy.”

  Grace felt tears well up in her eyes. Her bottom lip started to tremble. Blaming her pregnancy hormones for how quickly she jumped to the wrong conclusion, she leaned her forehead into his wide chest. “Oh, Rick, I—”

  “Hush, Grace. It’s my turn now. Let me finish. Okay?” When she nodded into his chest, he loosened his hold on her arms. Grace immediately wrapped them around his middle, giving him a tight squeeze. He squeezed her back.

  Rick continued, “I’ve felt every kind of good feeling a man can feel since I’ve known you. The day you said you’d marry me? I figured that was it. It couldn’t get any better than this. But now? You tell me that we’re having a baby, that our small family is already growing? And then you ask me if I’m happy. I’m not. I can’t be. Because saying I’m happy puts me right back to the man I was when we first met. And right now? There’s not even a word for how fucking ecstatic I am. Happy? Not even close.”

  Releasing her, Rick roamed his hands up her side, stopping when he reached her shoulders. His gruff voice seemed to vibrate with powerful emotion as he spoke again.

  “My heart is so big, it’s like it could burst out of my chest. And, if it did? I’d be sure to hand it right over to you. You have my heart, my beautiful, brave Tiger. As battered and as broken as it might be, it’s yours.”

  My heart is in your hands.

  Grace shook it off. She still had nightmares about Tommy, and knew she always would, but she wouldn’t let his ghost creep in on what was an intimate moment between her and her lover.

  Tommy was her past. Rick was her forever.

  She understood that now.

  “I don’t just want your heart,” she said honestly. “I’m greedy, Rick. I want everything you have.”

  “You already have it. And, still, I’ll find more to give you.”

  Rick tucked his chin into his chest, then reached out to tilt Grace’s head back before he leaned down to meet her. A soft kiss, his lips barely touching hers. Grace felt the tears stinging in her eyes. Rick was right, too. They weren’t happy tears. They were more than that.

  She smiled. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too. More, I need you. With me, no matter where. No matter what.” He slipped his hand in between their body, the tips of his fingers caressing the bottom of her belly. “Both of you. I need both of you.”

  Rick had confessed his feelings to her before. The night he showed up, still half-drunk, and the night he first brought her to his house. He even told her he loved her well before his Valentine’s Day proposal.

  But this? To hear her former Marine admit to needing her after he’d spent too many years certain he could only depend on himself and his brothers, Grace felt her heart shatter in that instant, only to be reformed into something harder, something stronger, and something that he would never, ever break.

  Still, she had to make sure. “For always?”

  She met his gaze and saw... something there, something shining in the dark depths. It hit her an instant later.

  Grace saw love.

  Rick leaned in, his words a whisper against the corner of her mouth before he sealed his promise with a kiss:

  “I’ll never stop.”

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  About the Author

  Jessica lives in New Jersey with her family, including enough kitties to cement her status as the neighborhood’s future Cat Lady. She spends her days working in retail, and her nights lost in whatever world the current novel she is reading or working on is set in. After writing for fun for more than a decade, she has finally decided to take some of the stories out of her head and put them out there for others who might also enjoy them!

  Also by Jessica Lynch

  Welcome to Hamlet

  Obsession

  Don’t Trust Me

  Ophelia

  Let Nothing You Dismay

  I’ll Never Stop

  Mirrorside

  Stalk the Moon

  Hunt the Stars

  The Witch in the Woods

  Hide from the Heart

  Chase the Beauty