Alex
I’m in tears by the time the letter slips from my hands, joining my purse at my feet.
Across the hall.
He’s back.
After two months without a word. Not a single phone call. Not one text message. No contact at all.
He could have been dead for all I knew. There were moments I wished he was so I could let him go. Forget about him. Move on with my life. In my heart, I knew he wasn’t.
Which, on a good day, pissed me off. On a bad day, it made me break down in tears because he wasn’t here. Because I had pushed him away. Let him leave without saying goodbye.
There was no closure, and even though he promised he would be back someday, I’d lost hope weeks ago.
“Phoenix,” I call, my voice cracking as I wipe away my tears.
“Go talk to him, Harley. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Neither am I. Let me in, please.”
The lock clicks, and then Phoenix’s bed creaks as he jumps back in it. Slowly pushing the door open, I let my gaze fall to him. His cheeks are flushed, and he’s hugging his pillow, leaning back against the wall.
Taking a seat, I slide back so I’m sitting next to him and gently take his hand in mine.
“We don’t have to talk to him,” I start. “He’s back. That’s fine. He’s our neighbor. That doesn’t mean we have to go out of our way to see him. We don’t have to invite him over for dinner or anything.”
“Is that what you want?” he asks, looking up at me with tears still in his eyes.
“I don’t know what I want,” I reply honestly. “What do you want?”
“Things to go back to the way they were. Before he made you mad. When you were happy all the time and I got to hang out with him and play video games.”
“I’m not sure if things will ever go back to that.” I wish they would, I think to myself. I wish his parents had never shown up and caused issues for him. For me. For the facility.
They ended up threatening to sue a week after Alex left. Vivian received the news from Mr. Neil’s lawyer. He was willing to settle out of court if Vivian destroyed all of Daphne’s records. If she erased everything that mentioned Daphne was ever here.
That’s illegal.
She refused, not willing to put herself or the center at risk of greater damage.
Mr. Neil wasn’t happy and attempted to file suit. We let it go to court, and when the day came for Daphne to appear and give her side of the story, their entire case resting on her shoulders, she vanished. Mr. Neil was forced to drop the suit the next day, and we haven’t heard from him since.
I wonder if his daughter wasn’t willing to lie on the stand. To tell the judge whatever fabricated statement their lawyer had prepared. Because after speaking with Vivian and allowing her to read the letter Alex left for me, the letter I couldn’t bring myself to read, she agreed they had no case. What Alex did was in the best interest of Daphne, and any judge would see that. The only thing he could have gotten in trouble for was taking a minor across state lines, which could’ve been seen as kidnapping since he wasn’t honest with Daphne about where they were going and why.
That didn’t happen, though, and I was happy when his father dropped the lawsuit. I was afraid we were going to be forced to call Alex as a witness, and I wasn’t ready to see him. He’d spoken to Vivian, that’s how I knew he was alive, and he’d agreed to help in any way he could, even throwing himself under the bus to save the facility.
Honorable but a bit dramatic.
Why would I expect any less? The man is nothing if not dramatic. And demanding. Commanding. A force to be reckoned with. He worked his way into my heart before I realized what was going on. He got what he wanted, and then he left me.
I told him to go.
Not the point. He listened when he should have fought harder. Fought to stay. To fix shit here.
Yes, I blame myself, but I also blame him for being a coward when it was clearly his time to stand up and fight.
“You should go talk to him,” Phoenix says, pulling me from my thoughts.
“I will. Maybe. We still need to go shopping, bud.”
“Right,” he says, pushing himself off the bed, brushing away the tears and extending his hand to me.
Such a gentleman. He’s been my rock these last few months. My shining light guiding me out of the dark places my mind has taken me. Pulling me back to reality when it would have been easier to live in a fantasy land. One where Alex hadn’t left and I was living in bliss.
The cab is still waiting out front when we finally make it down. After a heartfelt apology, we’re on our way, much to Phoenix’s dismay. His face fell when he saw the cab. I have a feeling he was hoping it hadn’t waited for us.
Honestly, I’m not much in the mood for shopping right now either. If the alternative is talking to Alex, or even laying eyes on him, I’d rather be lost in a clothing rack. Waiting on Phoenix to pick out a shirt or try on pants.
Shopping has never been fun for me. It was hard to get excited about new clothes when your mom could only afford to buy you used clothes. Not that I wasn’t able to find things I liked that fit perfectly. It was more about the perception. We’d go in, buy five or six things, spend twenty bucks, and those were my clothes for the school year. That’s all we could afford.
Because the rest of our money was used to support her bad habits. Her addictions.
When I took Phoenix in, I swore I’d never take him to a used-clothing store. I didn’t want him to feel like he wasn’t worth as much as the next kid. Even though I can’t afford as much as I’d like to buy him, I make sure his clothes are new. Never worn before.
They are his and his alone.
Then we donate them to the local shelter once he outgrows them. They don’t sell the clothes for profit. They give them to families in need. It’s my way of helping those even less fortunate than we are.
“You know,” Phoenix says, handing me two shirts he wants to try on. “He came back for you.”
“We’re not talking about this right now,” I retort, turning away from him and pretending to browse the nearest rack even though I’m well aware Phoenix would never wear a Hawaiian shirt.
“If you won’t talk to me, you should at least talk to him.”
“Phoenix,” I warn.
“Think about it for one second, Harley. It’s not a secret that he likes you. The note he left me before—”
Phoenix stutters, unable to complete his sentence. When I realize what he’s saying to me, I suck in a deep breath before turning around to question my little brother about his comment.
“What note? The one today?”
“No,” he replies after a few beats, avoiding eye contact with me.
“There was another one?”
Phoenix nods his head but doesn’t speak.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you were upset he left. You cried yourself to sleep for a week straight. You wouldn’t read the note he left you, and I thought bringing it up, bringing him up, would upset you.” The tenderness in his voice breaks my heart.
We’re all a bunch of damn liars.
Me. Phoenix. Alex.
Everyone is lying to everyone else. Keeping things from each other. Sometimes with the best of intentions, to avoid hurting the other person. Other times to save their own ass. To prevent a fight. To avoid losing someone.
Phoenix lied so he wouldn’t hurt me. I appreciate it, but I’m done with all the lies. I can’t take it anymore. This has to end. I’m setting the wrong example for him. The last thing I want is for him to grow up and think it’s okay to omit information because that’s what he’s always done.
Kneeling on the ground, I place a hand on each of Phoenix’s shoulders and wait for him to look at me before I continue. Once he does, I speak slowly, pointedly, so there’s no chance he’ll misinterpret what I’m telling him.
“We’re done lying to everyone. To each other. We’re a team, and no matter what happens
, we are going to get through this together. Understand?” He nods, his eyes never leaving mine as tears begin to well up in the corners. “Now, that doesn’t mean we have to offer information for no reason. If people assume I’m your mom, there’s no need to correct them. If they ask why you call me Harley, be honest and tell them I’m your sister. If they ask you a question you’re not comfortable answering, that’s fine too. Tell them you don’t want to talk about it. At the end of the day, we’re done lying, Phoenix.”
Wrapping his arms around my neck, Phoenix squeezes me tight. The weight on his shoulders has been lifted. It was too much for me to handle at times. I’m not sure how I thought a eleven- almost twelve-year-old boy would be able to.
“He loves you, Harley. He said he would be back and that he wasn’t saying goodbye, only see you later.”
Damn, Alex.
He swore he’d never leave without saying goodbye, and I thought he did. Instead, he slipped Phoenix a note I had no clue about and told him he would be back. I should have known, expected as much from him. What I really should have done was read the letter he left for me. I still can’t bring myself to open it, and now that he’s back, I won’t need to.
27
Alex
* * *
I heard her leave. Tried to watch her through the peephole but I was too late. All I caught was a glimpse at her ebony locks as she flew past my door and down the stairs.
She’s avoiding me.
It’s the only reason I can think she didn’t rush over here after she read my note. There’s a small chance she didn’t open it, but I doubt it. I watched as Phoenix opened his and ran back into the apartment.
I may have felt a bit like a peeping Tom, but I couldn’t help myself.
Harley chased after him, leaving the door open behind her. I couldn’t see inside the apartment, so I cracked my door a little to listen. Her words were muffled, but I heard her ask him to let her in. He must have locked himself in their room.
Ten minutes passed, and there was no sign of them.
My patience was wearing thin. I wanted to pull her in my arms and kiss her. Relish in the scent of her shampoo. Feel her body pressed against mine. It had been two months since I’d laid eyes on her, and I was aching inside. For one tiny glimpse.
Then they were gone.
Our reunion will have to wait.
She isn’t ready to see me yet.
So here I sit, checking the time on my phone every five seconds. Listening to the hum of the refrigerator. All my belongings are at my new place. There’s no Internet here, no cable. I have nothing to do while I wait except sit patiently.
Coming back after so much time had passed was a risk. There was a chance Harley had moved on, found someone else to spend time with. An even bigger chance she wouldn’t forgive me. That she was still angry and wasn’t ready to listen to my explanation.
There was also a chance she would. That she still wants to be with me. That she loves me as much as I love her. Coming here puts the ball in her court.
The next move is hers.
She can make it any time she wants.
I’ll be here when she’s ready.
Even if that means I have to live in this shithole apartment again for a while instead of the gorgeous house I bought. The house I hope she and Phoenix will live in with me someday soon. There’s plenty of space for all of us and an extra living room I’d like to turn into a gaming area for Phoenix.
A place he can invite his friends.
Where he doesn’t share a bedroom with his mom. Mainly because I’ll be sharing a room with her.
A kitchen every chef dreams of, where Harley can teach me how to cook. We can make dinners as a family and not step on each other’s toes in the process.
But the biggest draw to this house for me was the location. A block from the beach. It’s not waterfront, but its close enough, and there’s a pool in the backyard if we want a more private setting to swim.
I’m getting ahead of myself, I think as I hear a commotion in the hall.
Flying off the couch, I sprint as quietly as I can to the door, then press my face against the peephole, but I’m too late. Again. Harley is closing their apartment door by the time I’m there.
Maybe she’ll come over and talk to me now that she’s home?
A man can only dream…
I’ve been holed up here for three long days. I haven’t seen Harley or Phoenix. I knocked on their apartment door the other morning after I was sure Harley had left for work, but Phoenix didn’t answer.
They’re both avoiding me.
How long is this going to go on?
I won’t last much longer. It took all my willpower not to beat down her door last night at dinner time. I could smell macaroni and cheese in the air. I knew they were home. I knew she was cooking. There was no place for them to run.
My hand was poised to knock when I realized what I was doing.
Forcing her hand.
Making the decision for her.
It was the last thing I wanted to do. I can’t make her forgive me. Can’t make her love me.
So I walked back across the hall, head hung low, and crawled in bed. As much as I want to spend all day here in case she wants to talk, I have to start my new job next week. My days will be spent in an office around the corner, helping the less fortunate get back on their feet. We offer housing assistance, set them up with job interviews, teach them how to manage money, and so much more.
We give them a chance to start over. Something everyone should be entitled to if they need it.
A reset button.
This is the job I was meant to have. I honestly believe that. Considering I left the day after accepting the position and they held it for me, there’s no doubt in my mind that my purpose in life was to help these people. What better way to erase the stereotype placed upon me?
Thinking back on the last two months, I’m still surprised things turned out the way they did.
Daphne relapsed. That wasn’t what surprised me. She walked right back into the life I tried to save her from. This time, my mother was the one who found her passed out on the bathroom floor. It must have shaken her to her core because she checked Daph into a rehab facility and refused to tell my father where she was.
He was mortified. His daughter was not an addict. She didn’t have a problem. It was a phase.
I’d never been prouder of my mother in my life. Or so I thought. She finally rose to the occasion. She did what a normal, caring mother would do. Then she filed for divorce from my father.
He was furious. Went on a rampage to try and destroy anyone he could, including me. In his mind, this was all my fault. I started the ball rolling, and he couldn’t stop it. So he resorted to the one thing he thought would scare me enough to make me back down.
He tried to sue me.
My lawyer destroyed my father in court. It was all about the money. I withdrew the entire amount of my trust fund the morning I turned twenty-three and placed it in a new account he couldn’t touch. My original plan was to get on my feet and give him every cent back.
Not anymore.
Not after the way he treated me. Disowned me, my mother, and my sister.
I’m fine with it now, but I was hurt when it happened. He only wanted his money. Control over how I spent it. Control of my life and everyone else’s like he’d always had. But we weren’t scared of him anymore. We didn’t need him.
The judge dismissed our case, siting unlawful cause, and forced my father to pay my legal fees. The look on his face was priceless. Not only was he not getting a dime of my trust fund but he was now out even more money. The amount is still racking up considering my parents’ divorce isn’t finalized yet.
My mom will more than likely get everything. She’ll keep the house, guardianship of Daphne, and a shit ton of money. Why? Because I was smart enough to barge in on my father again when his secretary was on her knees. This time, my camera was ready. All it took was one picture to bri
ng a smile to my mother’s attorney’s face.
Slam dunk.
Game over.
My father is going to lose everything. His money. His reputation. The two things that matter the most to him. Not to mention his family, not that we were ever much of one to begin with.
I wanted to stay in Chicago for my mother. To support her through this, but she insisted it was time I came back. After Daphne’s relapse, we grew closer. She apologized to me for being an absent parent. Apologized for taking out her misery on us when she should have taken it out on my father by divorcing him years ago.
Happily married hadn’t described their relationship in a long time according to my mother. She knew he was sleeping around, and it was the reason she drank. Because she could never catch him in the act. He was too smart. She claimed he had spies watching her. He always knew when she came to see him at work.
One night, as we were attempting to cook together, she asked me about Harley. I’m not sure how she knew, but she did. Call it a mother’s intuition. A better guess would be Daphne told her.
I confessed everything. How we met. The apartment. Phoenix. All the lies I told and the way we left things.
That was the same night she told me to leave. To come back here. To start my life over again. I deserved my chance to hit the reset button as much as the next person. She was doing it herself and planned to help Daphne once she was better.
My mother is the reason I’m lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, dreaming about Harley in my arms. My mother is the one who forced me to man up and face her.
Because I’m scared as fuck.
She may never talk to me. Her or Phoenix. She may never want to see me again. Forgiveness is earned. I’d at least like the opportunity to try and earn it.
But I need her to talk to me first. My first note confessed everything. All my sins. The things I wanted to tell her that night. I came clean about the months I was here and the months leading up to my arrival. I didn’t leave anything out.
Now I want to tell her about the two months since I saw her last. About how I’ve felt hollow inside without her in my life. But also, prove to her that I have my shit together. That I’m done lying.
Half Truths: An Opposites Attract Romance Page 19
