Stolen Valor

by Kal Spriggs

  That was hardly helpful.

  Neither of them were remotely quiet. I waited them out, wincing a bit as the pair of them took turns yelling at me. As they both reached a pausing point, I spoke, “Well, I see the pair of you can agree on one thing at least.”

  That shut them both up. They shot one another angry, distrustful glares, but their gazes went back to me a moment later. “Had you selected her,” Jonna ground out, “I would have disagreed, but it would have been understandable. You would have made a choice. But to make your own team?”

  “She is right,” Kiyu bit out, “it is beyond insulting. You’ve practically told the world that you don’t trust either of us. It’s an embarrassment, a rejection of the honor of our houses. People have been killed for less.”

  “I didn’t mean it that way, a fact that both of you should understand, seeing as I’m not likely to understand the intricacies of Drakkus’s noble Houses,” Kiyu’s angry face flushed in embarrassment as she caught my meaning. I wasn’t from here, so accusing me of insulting her deliberately in a fashion that only a native would understand seemed absurd in the face of that. Jonna, for her part, had the good grace to actually give a slight nod as she realized what I meant.

  “Additionally, look at it this way. I haven’t rejected either of you. I value you both as friends… for all that you hate one another, you have fought side by side in Second Screening and we’ve worked together other times, right?” I looked between them. Jonna’s back went up and she didn’t look over at Kiyu, but she gave a very slight nod.

  Kiyu’s flush deepened as she realized where this was headed. “House Hayden has made itself an enemy of the Imperial Family, of my house.” She clenched her jaw, “You have to understand, Ar—” She caught herself, nearly using my real name. “Vars. You need to understand, I cannot have you as an ally, going forward, if your loyalties are at all in question.”

  I looked at Jonna, raising an eyebrow. She didn’t look at Princess Kiyu, but her posture suggested she was on the edge of physical violence. “I would not make you choose, Vars, between friends and companions. But I cannot trust her or her goals. I serve the Empire and the Drakkus Imperial Space Korps. I cannot be certain that she does and therefore, unless you reject her, then I can’t be sure I can trust your judgement.”

  “Then we’re at an impasse,” I told them. “Because I’m not a pawn to be moved around the board.” I glared at them both, daring them to argue. “I founded my own team because I’m a target. My enemies, both of your enemies as well, want to eliminate me and they’re none to particular about anyone standing nearby. If I’d taken either of your offers, they’d come after us twice as hard.”

  Jonna made a face, “There’s not much they can do at this point.”

  “I hate to agree with her,” Kiyu bit out, “but there she is correct. Entrants are protected after Second Screening. The Empire has invested heavily in us and we have proven we are capable of that investment. Any serious injuries or deaths will result in a full investigation.”

  I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. I felt a headache coming on, “Which makes it all the more likely that if someone wanted to take out three people, then having two of them on one team for a convenient accident to happen would be a target too good to pass up, right?”

  Neither of them answered and I figured I’d made my point. “I haven’t taken either of your offers, but I haven’t rejected either of you.” Some part of me figured that was the root of this. They both viewed this as a rejection, not just of my friendship, but of them personally. “But if I run a separate team, it’s safer for all of us. It also means that I’m still open as things move on, and that if I do ally with either of you, I’ll bring with me two other capable people.”

  “Sanjaya and Osmund were unlikely to be picked up, otherwise,” Kiyu nodded slightly. “Which means they’d be put into either a makeshift or even a mixed-flight team, where they’d do poorly and likely end up far lower in ranking.”

  “What happens if my team does well?” I asked. “Both of you are incredibly capable. I wager that the three of us can make it pretty high, maybe even into the finals of this competition, this Tangun’s Gate.”

  “Then we’d all be in position to do well, moving forward,” Kiyu nodded slowly. She looked over at Jonna, “The problem being that she and I cannot work together.”

  “No, but you can work with me,” I told her. “And I can work with her.” I pointed to Jonna, “And she can work with me, and I can work with you. It’s a weird triangle thing.”

  “Two points polar opposite a center forms a line,” Kiyu sighed, “not a triangle. It would be a triangle if…” She shook her head. “Fine. I will tolerate this nonsense. But mark my words, she cannot be trusted. Sooner or later her priorities will overwhelm any goodwill you may have with her and she will betray you.”

  Jonna sniffed, “I was going to say the same about you.”

  “Great,” I told them. “I’m glad we agreed to get along. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to talk to my team.”

  I didn’t wait for either of them to respond, I walked away. Wow, you’ve got girls fighting over you, Will, I’m impressed. I mean, you haven’t even got a kiss out of either of them and they’re ready to murder each other over you, Shadow chuckled in the back of my head.

  I’d prefer it if they’d work together, on my behalf, I told her. I felt my cheeks warming as she mentioned “kiss” though. I could easily imagine kissing either of them. Or both of them. For a moment, as I closed my eyes, their features blurred together into a sort of vague, beautiful girl with soft lips and a friendly smile.

  Yeah, go on day-dreaming, Shadow laughed, popping my image like a balloon. They’re women. They’re far more likely to stab one another in the backs over you, and you in the back along the way.

  You know, you’re a woman, too, I reminded my sister’s digital twin.

  Yeah… that’s why I don’t trust either of them.

  ***

  That afternoon, we got our first look at Tangun’s Gate.

  As I should have guessed from the name, it had something to do with the obstacle course we’d run earlier in the year. It was the same huge chamber, but it had been reconfigured. The grav-plates were still in use. There were six, separate tracks, each one spiraling in towards the center. But at the center, there was a huge box, with various entrances. From the outside, it looked like there were internal rooms and corridors, but it was hard to tell with just a few openings that let us see inside.

  Dekkas Richardson spoke, “This is Tangun’s Gate, it is based off of the mythology of our ancestors. Tangun was the founder of civilization, and one of the challenges he faced was five competitors. He fought all five of them at once, fighting for the gates of his city.”

  He pointed at the other five platforms, spaced equidistantly around the perimeter of the huge chamber. “Six teams start at the same time. Their goal is to reach and hold the center. One team wins, the others must fall.” He gestured at us, wearing our Kavach Mark V’s and carrying our TBA-T’s, the training rifles that fired a pulse of light rather than real bullets. “To compete for victory over Tangun’s Gate, you will fight with your weapons and armor. The winners of each round will advance.”

  Six teams, I thought to myself, we’ll be facing fifteen opponents at a time. Now I realized why finishing first was considered to be so hard.

  “We have four days before the first round begins,” Richardson told us. His expression turned stern. “While you have established your proficiencies and capabilities already, your placement as Initiates is based upon your performance here. A strong finish will set you up for success during the remainder of your time at the Institute. A poor performance initially will lead to lower placement, lower priorities of training, and future assignments that provide less opportunities to excel and set yourself apart for promotion.”

  Got it, don’t screw up. That was going to be interesting, seeing as the huge chamber was designed to tri
p people up. The obstacles arced upwards, climbing walls, platform jumps, and spider-webs of cable that we’d need to cross to even get to the Gate. And our opponents will be able to shoot at us while we do it.

  This was going to go just great. My hands were trembling a bit inside my armor and I felt dizzy and a bit light-headed.

  “We will begin, entrants. First teams, move to your starting platforms. Second round of teams, observe and prepare yourselves,” Richardson told us. I was up first and I led the way, jogging along to our designated platform. My head began pounding as I moved into position and my stomach churned. I didn’t know why I was so nervous, but I almost felt like my chest were freezing up.

  “For your first run, focus on the obstacles, get to know the course,” Richardson told us over the network. His voice seemed painfully loud in my helmet and it made my head hurt even worse.

  “Begin,” Richardson called out.

  The first set of obstacles was a series of stationary platforms that we had to jump across, one to the next. A fall here would send us out into empty space, presumably to be shot by our opponents. I made it across the first couple of jumps, but I found myself swaying a bit and I barely made the third jump.

  “Vars, you okay?” Sanjaya asked from next to me.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I answered. My voice sounded too loud and my words felt slow. “I just, I need… I just need…”

  I shook my head inside my helmet. I couldn’t breathe. I needed air. I popped my mask and dropped to my knees, taking deep breaths. Sweat rolled down my forehead and ran into my eyes. The lights of Tangun’s Gate seemed too bright. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see.

  My stomach clenched and then, like a wave of pure acid, I felt burning vomit come up out of my stomach, exploding out of my mouth and nose. My entire body clenched. I was trying to force it out and I felt diarrhea explode out the other end. I felt hot and achy and I fell forward, my armor clattering to the rough surface of the platform. Someone was shouting something in the background, but I couldn’t make out the words. Another convulsion made my muscles clench and another wave of vomit exploded out of my nose and lips. I could feel it burning the skin of my face. I inhaled and some of it got in my lungs.

  I was choking. I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out.

  I tried to sit up, tried to pop out of my armor, but my fingers weren’t working. Someone was shouting something to me, but I couldn’t understand the words. I must have sat up too quickly, though, because my head spun and then filled with light.

  The last thing I heard was my own choking scream as the world dissolved into chaos.

  ***

  Chapter 21: I’m Not Doing So Good

  I woke up in my bunk, covered in sweat. I was shivering and cold, though. I saw Osmund standing nearby, his expression worried.

  “Water, water,” I choked out.

  “Here,” Osmund put a metal cup in my hands. My hands shook so much that most of it splashed out. I managed to get a little bit in my mouth and choked it down.

  “More,” I gasped. I shoved the cup at him. Even as I did so, my stomach clenched and I curled up as it cramped. “Oh, oh, God…”

  “It’s okay,” Osmund said, his voice low, “it’ll be alright, Vars. You got to hold on.”

  “Hurts,” I groaned. “Hurts so bad. Why does it hurt?”

  “It’s quick heal addiction,” he told me. “It hit all of us already. We’d figured it had run its course in the hospital. But they must have had you on it there, still.”

  “I need quick heal,” I told him. “Go get a medic. I’m dying.”

  “You’ve got to get it out of your system, Vars,” Osmund leaned in over me. “Hayden explained it to me. The doses they had us on, it makes us dependent. It’s another part of their tests. You must have had a lot of their double-doses on top of that.”

  Another wave of cramps hit me and I curled up, barely able to choke down a scream. “Why does it hurt?” I couldn’t make sense of it. I felt slow and stupid. My body felt like someone had peeled the skin off of me, leaving just exposed nerves. The air felt painfully cold and my body felt hot, burning. “Get a medic. I need quick heal,” I gasped.

  “No,” Osmund told me. “If they get you on it again, if they think you’re too weak to shake it, they shunt you right out. It doesn’t matter how well you do at Tangun’s Gate, they dump you on some assignment. Besides, it’s not just quick heal, they had us on all kinds of things, Vars, and the double shots they were giving you every time you got injured…”

  I reached out and caught him by the front of his uniform. “Get me a medic!” I shouted it at him.

  “No,” he told me, breaking my fingers away. “You get water. This will run its course. It took us three or four days. It’ll be about the same for you.”

  I didn’t want to imagine three or four days of this. I didn’t want to imagine three or four minutes. I rolled over in my bunk, trying to sit up, to get out and go find a medic on my own. But even rolling over was too much and my head spun. I almost fell out of bed, but Osmund caught me and pulled me back down onto my bunk.

  “If I have to, I’ll hold you here the whole time,” he growled. “Dekkas Richardson says no one from Jade Flight has failed to shake this and we aren’t going to let you be the first one.”

  “I hate you,” I growled. “Just let me die.” Another wave of agony hit me and I curled up into a bawl, in too much pain to be able to scream.

  Thankfully, at some point, I passed out.

  ***

  I woke up standing in a beautiful green grass field under a crystal blue sky. There was a cool breeze on my skin and the air smelled crisp and fresh.

  “Am I dead?” I asked. I couldn’t help but feel like that would be better than the alternative: that I was in some withdrawal-fueled delusion.

  “I’m trying something,” Shadow told me. I turned around, and my sister stood there. She was crying, I realized.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I could only take so much of it, so I used your implant to shut down your higher brain functions and then ported you over here. I don’t… I can’t watch you go through that.”

  “That bad, huh?” I asked. I kicked at a clump of grass. It seemed real enough. I’d never seen grass this green or a sky so blue. Kneeling down, I pulled at it and I got sap on my fingers and some stray bits stuck to me. “This is some simulation.”

  “I based it off of the holding simulation from Project Quicksilver,” she told me. She walked around, her gaze going to the endless stretch of green. “I found it fascinating. Century is so brown, so dry, you know?” She took a deep breath. “I added my own details, scents, sounds. I improved the feel of it. This is where I go when everything seems a bit too much.”

  I realized what that meant, “Thank you for showing me this place.” This was her sanctuary.

  “It’s the least I could do,” she told me. I heard her sigh and she turned to face me. “I kind of saw this coming, you know?”

  “How?” I asked. I didn’t see how she could have seen this coming. My thoughts shied away from what my body was going through. There was no dignity, no life to that.

  “I figured out early on that the quick heal they were giving you wasn’t just quick heal,” she told me. “And I read their files, even just the quick heal doses are incredibly addictive if they give it to you every day for weeks and months. They tailor the dose you get based on body mass and age, so you would have got more than the others, anyway. Someone further altered your assigned doses. They had you on double doses from almost the beginning. And the quick heal is laced with extra drugs. Stimulants, mostly, plus rex.”

  “Rex?” I asked in shock. That was a cerebral “enhancement” drug. It was a designer chemical and I’d encountered users on the streets of the Barrens. It came in different categories, ranging from “prime” to “secundus” to “tertius.” All of them were incredibly addictive. Prime was the most powerful, it had some physical as well as menta
l enhancements.

  Rex had a host of side effects, though. Like it made people violent, caused paranoia, and impure batches could cause delusions and hallucinations. The Crooked Daggers, a gang I’d encountered had been users and they’d been homicidal at the best of times.

  “You knew they were giving me rex and you didn’t try to stop it?” I asked in shock.

  “I figured that was all that was keeping you going, Will,” Shadow looked down at the ground. “I mean, I’m nearly overwhelmed. You’ve been on this horrible planet for over two years at this point. I’m surprised you’re still going. Besides, what am I supposed to do? It’s not like I could physically stop the medic!”

  “You could have told me!” I yelled at her. I felt violated. I felt like she’d betrayed my trust. “Maybe I could have done something, stopped them!”

  “The quick heal was all that kept you going!” Shadow yelled right back at me. “Will, don’t forget, I’m inside the quicksilver that’s inside your body. I could see what this training was doing to you. You broke bones, Will. You tore muscles and tendons. That was just from the running and the fighting for food in the First Screening. The stuff you did to yourself in Second Screening… I’m not a doc, but if we had one here, they’d be horrified. The human body is only designed to take so much damage and they pushed you, all of you, well past that. Half the time, the quick heal didn’t even repair the damage all the way, you were running around on broken bones and torn muscles, the other stuff, the stimulants, the pain-killers, and the rex, just made it so you didn’t notice.”

  I closed my eyes. “You should have told me.”

  “Well, I didn’t,” she answered. “And you know what? You survived. And then, in the hospital, I saw that instead of weaning you off, someone had told them to up the dosage. They cranked it back up to double what it should have been.”

  “Prince Ladon?” The thought shocked me. I hadn’t even thought of how they could have blind-sided me. They’d been poisoning me all along and I hadn’t realized.