The 'Ohana Tree

by Rebecca Addison

  "Hi," she said, without looking up. "You're early today."

  "Hey." I moved behind her chair and leaned down. "That's a good one. You've managed to get every wrinkle on there."

  She screwed up her nose and studied it. Garrett's skin was so sun damaged that in the right light, the grooves on his face made me think of my mother’s old tooled leather bag. "Well, it was a challenge getting them all on there, but I like this drawing. It's not bad."

  I put a hand lightly on her shoulder and felt her muscle stiffen under my palm. That was new for us. I hadn't touched her before then, apart from shaking her hand and helping her down the rocks at the pool. "It's great. Want to get out of here? I packed a picnic."

  I removed my hand and she put down her paper and pencil. "Okay, now you’re definitely trying to impress me."

  I moved in front and pulled her to her feet by her hands, holding them for a second before letting go. "Are you liking it?”

  She met my eyes and after a moment’s hesitation suddenly rose up onto her tippy toes and kissed me quickly on the cheek. "I'm liking it."

  We walked across the road and down the small track through the grass to the beach. We were close to Pete's which meant we were being watched by at least one Aunty from a window, so I put my hand in the small of her back and led her through the coconut trees to the small grassy area I knew would be deserted at that time of day. The kiss had given me confidence and now I found myself reaching for her constantly. I wanted to touch her back and walk too close so that our arms brushed together. I wanted to loop my fingers through hers. More than once, I had to create some distance between us and put my hands in my pockets.

  "Sandwiches," I said when we'd laid out the blanket and opened the basket. "Chicken or ham?"

  "Ham."

  I passed her a sandwich and a bottle of juice from Lulu's and sat down beside her. "How's it going at the shop?"

  She swallowed her mouthful and grinned. "That brother of yours is something else. Did you know he made me try every juice combination at Lulu's so that I would really know which one was my favorite? I thought my bladder was going to burst."

  I laughed. "That sounds like something he'd do."

  "You're lucky," she said, "to have him as your brother."

  I met her eyes briefly. "I know it."

  We finished our food and packed everything back into the basket. I lay back under the shade of a big old kamani tree that had been there for as long as I remembered and she followed me. Neither of us spoke. I wanted to ask her about herself, but I didn't know where to begin. We'd spent a lot of time together by then, but somehow we never talked. We ate and worked on Tessa's sudoku puzzles or read the paper. Any conversations we did have were just funny stories or focused on Akamu, and I wondered if we were both avoiding talking about anything personal, or if it was just me.

  "Go on," she said, nudging me with her elbow.

  "Go on what?"

  "Ask."

  She had been doing that a lot lately, reading my mind. "I'm thinking."

  "Okay, but if you think too long I might change my mind."

  "I want to make sure it's a good question. You might not ever answer one again."

  She rolled onto her side so that her nose almost touched my skin. Her breath was warm and soft where it blew against my t-shirt. "Am I that difficult to get to know?"

  "Am I?"

  "Let me think," she said, rolling onto her back. The light above was turning golden as it moved through the leaves, and I wondered how late it was. "I guess I don't know much about you, other than who your brother is and that your job involves dirt." She propped herself up onto her elbows and glanced down at my work boots. "What about me?"

  "I don't know anything about you," I admitted, looking up into her downturned face. I hesitated for a couple of seconds before pressing my fist just under my ribs. "But Tess, I feel you. Here."

  She lay back down and this time, she was touching me, her lips moved against my skin of my arm as she talked. "I met Garrett when I was ten. He was friends with some people I was living with. He's a recovering alcoholic, did you know that?"

  I nodded. Garrett was open about it. When he first arrived on the island after selling everything he owned and a long stint in rehab, he'd started a support group that still met every Monday night at the community center. He was an interesting guy. On the outside, he was rough and gnarly, even a little mean. But you only had to speak to him for a few minutes to learn that these days, all he was interested in was meditation, surfing and making people happy.

  "I moved a lot as a kid. But Garrett always followed me. He wrote me letters and sent me money tucked into a book or a packet of stickers. He visited me a few times a year, no matter where I was. When he was drunk, he'd call me up and cry or yell about his wife. And I loved it. It made me feel important and grown up. Like someone needed me. Garrett is the only family I've got. That's why I'm here."

  "I'm the eldest son of the eldest son in a family that can trace their genealogy back for hundreds of years," I said. "And that's why I'm here."

  We were silent after that. The wind had picked up and the branches and leaves shook overhead. We lay shoulder to shoulder in the warm afternoon air, the smell of grass and damp earth around us and the soft burr of insects in the background. And after a while, I found myself not thinking of anything other than being there with her. Everything else, for the moment, had quietly slipped away. I found her hand and gently wove my fingers through hers.

  Chapter Eight

  Three days later I was working on the family property, planting trees. It was the hottest day we'd had in a month, a brief resurgence of summer, and I was working alone, having sent the workers home the week before knowing we wouldn't be able to cover any more of their wages. I was working on a windbreak, digging holes and planting saplings and after each one I planted, I checked my watch. At 11, I planted the last tree, pressing the soft, red soil with my boot. I wiped my face with my t-shirt and threw my shovel into the wheelbarrow, picking up the handles and turning it toward the house. I planned on showering and picking a basket of fruit from the trees for Tessa before I had to leave for town. As I got closer to the house, I saw Garrett's truck parked in the driveway and I picked up my pace. Akamu wouldn't come home early from work unless he was sick. There wasn’t any other reason for the truck to be there. I parked the wheelbarrow along the side of the house and rounded the corner, expecting to see Garrett standing there in one of his fisherman's hats and t-shirt full of holes. But it was Tess, standing a few feet away from the front of the truck with her hands nervously pulling at the hem of her shirt as she talked to my dad. I walked around the back of the truck and they both turned at the sound. I'd been working hard and I knew I was dirty and wet with sweat. As I got closer to her, I spun my cap around and hoped I didn't stink.

  "Hi," I said. "What are you doing here?"

  "Your brother didn't feel up to working today," Dad said. "Do you two know each other?"

  "Is Aka okay?"

  Dad nodded. "He'll be fine. Kai, I've got some paperwork to sort out. You can finish up for the day. We won't get anything else done out here now." He walked back up the steps to the house, shutting the door behind him without another word.

  "What happened?" I lifted the bottom of my t-shirt and wiped the sweat off my face.

  "I don't know. He was a bit wound up this morning, I guess. And he had trouble putting the surfboards out the front. Then he locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out."

  "Ah, shit." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and typed in the passcode. "I'll give Garrett a call."

  "There's no point," she said, placing her hand on my arm. "He's gone for a surf. The shop is shut for the day." I glanced down at her hand, cool against my hot skin, and she snatched it back.

  "Do you want to go for a swim?"

  "Now?"

  I nodded toward the house. "I need to check on Akamu first. Come in, I'll make you a drink."

  "But your dad.
." she whispered, following me back up the steps to the verandah.

  "What about him?"

  But I knew. I knew how he would have talked to her when she'd arrived unannounced. I heard his words, clipped and cold, ringing in my ears.

  "It's okay," she said. "I should go. I got the feeling that he wasn't in the mood for visitors."

  As soon as the words left her mouth the door opened and Dad poked his head out. His eyes came to rest on Tessa and then he looked at me. "Can you come and talk to him? He wants you."

  I nodded and Dad stepped out fully, closing the door behind him. He leaned up against the doorframe with his arms crossed over this chest. If he was trying to tell her that she wasn't welcome in the house, then he was doing a mighty fine job of it. As if his refusal to acknowledge she was standing there wasn't enough, now he was physically blocking her from going in.

  "Kai, I'll just catch you later," she said, pulling the keys from her pocket. "It was really nice to meet you, Mr. Onakea."

  He gave her nothing.

  "No," I said, pushing the door open a little harder than was necessary and fixing him with a long, level stare. "I own this house. Pa, let her in."

  "I'm sorry about him," I said once we were inside and Dad had disappeared into his study. "He's not himself."

  She put her hands into the back pockets of her shorts and looked around the room. "Don't worry about it. Should I wait here while you go and see Akamu?"

  She was hovering by the door, unsure of what to do. "Come with me. I bet he'll want to show you his room."

  I led her into the living room and down the hallway to the bedrooms. Akamu's was the last door.

  "Hey, Aka," I called out as I knocked. "Can I come in? Dipper is here, too."

  "You can come in Kai but please shut the door because I don't want to talk to him anymore today. Not anymore at all, Kai."

  He was sitting on his bed with his box of shells on his lap, his face brightening when he saw Tessa come into the room behind me.

  "Dipper is in my house?"

  He stood up to walk toward her and the box fell off his lap, sending shells across the floor. "Don't move!" he gasped. "These are very precious shells. You might stand on them if you move even a little bit. Stand very, very still, Kai."

  I froze on the spot and stared at the floor. "How can I help you clean it up if you won't let me move?"

  He scowled. "This is a real mess, Kai."

  "It sure is."

  "I think, I think Dipper will help. Because she is very small, Kai. She can get in all the gaps and not stand on any of the shells."

  Tess was already crouched down, carefully placing shells into a little pouch she'd made with the front of her t-shirt. She worked her way around Akamu and me, picking up shells and putting them back into the box. A few times, she winked at Aka and jumped into the air, landing neatly in a small shell-less spot on the floor. He thought it was wonderful, of course. And I kind of did, too. Before long she had him dancing and giggling until he was so excited I had to take the box out of his hands before the shells ended up on the floor again.

  "You're like a ballerina, Dipper!" he cried when she landed on one foot and grabbed the windowsill to stop herself from toppling over. "You're very pretty."

  She made her way to me, doing her best ballerina impression as she went, and dropped the last shell into the box. It was a small sunrise shell, the pink and orange of it bright against her palm.

  "I would like to be alone, now," Akamu said suddenly. He sat down heavily on his bed and took the box from me. "Please go out of my room."

  "Okay, bud," I said. "I'll come and say goodbye before I go home."

  "Goodbye," Tess said. "I'll see you at work soon."

  But he didn’t answer, he was lost in his shells, his lips moving slowly as he counted them to make sure they were all there.

  "Kai?" Tessa said from behind me. I had my head in the fridge, trying to find something decent to offer her to drink.

  "Yep."

  "Do you mind if we don't swim? I got a lot of sun yesterday, and it's so hot out there."

  I straightened up and looked out the windows. The sky was cloudless and the heat was rising off the driveway. "How about a tour of the orchard? There's lots of shade. I can pack us some food."

  She leaned back against the cupboards. "Do you have a hat I can borrow?"

  "Yes, but not one that will fit."

  "Then yes," she grinned, "I'd love to see your orchard."

  After I threw on a fresh t-shirt and found an old baseball cap for Tess, we quickly packed some food into a backpack and walked outside. As I thought, the cap just about swallowed her head. It came down to her eyebrows and nearly hid her ears, but she was happy with it, and besides, she looked cute. We walked down to the kitchen garden and through the gates at the end, then kept walking over the grass until the fruit trees began.

  "It's like a forest," she said. "I've been to an orchard before, but those trees were all in rows and covered with netting. These guys seem like they've been living here longer than your family has."

  "Not quite," I said as I led her down the path that would take us to the avocado and jackfruit trees. "But close. Some of these trees have been here for a long time. The mangoes, especially."

  But I wasn't taking her to see those. I'd been down to see my mango tree that morning, and it was still there, standing barren and empty in a sea of trees heavy with fruit.

  I slowed down and let her walk a little way in front of me so that I could watch her weave her way around the trunks of the trees. Every now and again she lifted her face, her hand pressing the hat to her head to stop it from falling off.

  "Do you sell the fruit?" she asked, "there's so much here."

  “We used to export it, but we haven't done that in a long time."

  We walked until the trees got thinner and then the land opened up again. If we kept walking, we'd end up at a cliff above the sea. "There's a good spot up here," I said, catching up with her. "There's a tree we can sit under, and there's a good breeze that comes up from the sea."

  The land was hilly there, and outcrops of rock broke through the grass. She made her way carefully over them, looking down often to stop herself from tripping over. When we got to the small cluster of macadamia nut trees, I took the bag off my back and pulled out a couple of pareo for us to sit on.

  "What was it like growing up here?" she asked when we'd kicked off our shoes and were lying side by side under the shade of the tree. Above us, the tips of long, thin branches were covered with shiny green balls, like fish caught on a line. She rolled onto her side and took the hat off, placing it between us.

  "I don't have anything to compare it to."

  "It must have been magical," she said, bending her arm and resting her cheek on her elbow. "All of these trees, and the sea right there. I would have loved it." Her voice trailed off and her lips curved, but it wasn't a real smile. There was no warmth in it.

  "We were always outside," I said, "but there was a lot of work to be done, too. We didn't have a lot of free time to be out here playing. My dad made us both work really hard. As you can probably imagine."

  She sat up and crossed her legs. "He seems pretty tough. But he loves you. I can see it."

  "I know," I said, lifting my eyes to hers. "But I still wish he wasn't like that."

  She let her hand drop from her knee so that the back of it lightly rested against my palm. I closed my fingers around it and felt a warm ache travel from my fingertips, along the inside of my arm and across my chest to my heart.

  "What did you mean when you said you owned the house? You don't live up here."

  "It's a long and complicated story." I pressed my thumb into her palm. "I'll tell you about it sometime. The short version is that I bought Onakea from my dad a few years ago."

  "You don't want to live in the house?"

  I shook my head. "Where did you grow up?"

  She didn't like that question. But I hoped she was going to answer
it anyway.

  "Nowhere," she said softly. "And everywhere."

  I let go of her hand and sat up so that we were facing each other. "You said that before. Do you always speak in riddles?" She smiled, and that time it was a good one.

  "I was born in San Francisco, but I've lived all over the US. The last place was a house in Texas, and when I turned eighteen I left and I haven't gone back."

  "Army brat?"

  She shook her head. "Not even close."

  "What, then?"

  "I was a foster kid and not a very good one. I kept running away."

  "Where did you go when you turned eighteen?"

  Her shoulders relaxed. "I got a job at Starbucks and when I'd saved enough, I bought a ticket to Vietnam."

  "Wow," I said, passing her a sandwich. "That's ballsy."

  "Is it?"

  "I think so."

  "Thanks."

  We ate and when we'd finished we lay back under the trees again and gazed up through the branches.

  "This is like some kind of dream," she said, closing her eyes.

  "What is?"

  "This whole place. I can feel myself winding down like maybe soon I'm going to be walking slower, talking slower, sleeping all day."

  "You have heard of Hawaiian Time, haven't you?" I said.

  She yawned. "I believe in it now."

  "Go to sleep if you're tired." I wanted nothing more than to sit there and watch her sleep again. But she shook her head.

  "No way. I'm not falling asleep in front of you again."

  "Why not?"

  "Because it's weird!" she said. "And creepy. Do not under any circumstances let me fall asleep, Kai."

  "Can I take you for lunch on Saturday?" I asked before I lost my nerve. She rolled onto her side so that she faced me.

  "Kai," she said, her face suddenly serious. "I don't know how long I'll be sticking around, and -"