by Sammie Joyce
Slowly, the shifters nodded in agreement, my small outburst affirming that a pilgrimage was indeed necessary.
“I’ll be leaving in the morning,” I told them. “I’ll let you know when I return.”
With that, I thanked everyone for coming and dismissed them, turning to leave the compound before I could be pelted with questions I wasn’t sure I could answer. To my surprise, no one followed me and I gratefully shifted into my caribou form, trotting away from the sprinkling of cabins on the mountainside to make my way back home.
My mind was on what I’d need to bring. Like I’d told the others, I had no idea how long I was going to be, but that didn’t much matter. Just as when I’d gone after Ruben, I would be spending most of my time in my deer body, living off the land and taking shelter where I could find it. I may not have done it much but it was ingrained in my DNA to live like a caribou, even if I found it mildly uncomfortable for long periods of time. I still preferred the comfort of my own bed, the feel of my skirts around my legs, even if I couldn’t resist a sprint through the woods.
My mind trailed back to the day that Ruben and I had spent together, shifting back and forth as I collected what I needed for my practice. I’d felt so free that day, so alive—both in my caribou frame and in Ruben’s arms.
Gods, why did Kea have to show up when she did?
I knew I wasn’t really mad at Kea. In fact, it was better that she had showed up when Reuben was with me. I couldn’t imagine the pain I would have felt to find out the truth about Ruben later rather than sooner. Kea had done me a favor, even if I couldn’t help but resent her for it.
As my cottage came into view, I fell back, allowing my hooves to become feet and I morphed back, hurrying toward the porch where I froze. Excitement and happiness surged through me as I sensed someone else nearby.
He’s back! He came back!
The realization was bittersweet. Knowing that Ruben had finally gotten over his anger filled me with hope. Still, I was leaving, and I was sure he wouldn’t come. If anything, the fact that I was going was likely to start another fight. I stood, faltering as I considered what was about to happen next, my lower lip finding its way into my mouth.
In the end, my giddiness overrode my dismay and I sprinted toward the house, only to freeze again, the smile fading from my lips when I saw who stood there.
It wasn’t Ruben at all.
It was Flint Locklear.
12
Flint
Something had been bothering me about Larissa Pine for weeks but it was impossible for me to figure out what.
The girl I’d known since bringing her home over two decades earlier had become a private and almost secretive woman, something I had long since learned to accept, if not appreciate.
She wasn’t like Artemis had been with his quick, impish humor and easy mannerisms. Larissa had always favored her privacy and solitude to playing pranks and popping in unexpectedly. It was one of the reasons that I went out of my way to check on her when I hadn’t heard from or seen her in a while. She had truly become a child of the community, raised by all the shifters and I felt a different kind of protectiveness toward her than I did to the others, like I was somehow responsible for her.
Which is how I knew that something was going on with her.
It had likely started the day I’d come to warn her about Kealani Mahelona snooping around. She had only been half listening to me like something else was on her mind.
Recently, I’d heard rumors that Emmett’s girlfriend had, in fact, found Larissa’s cabin, but the shaman had not spoken a word about it. Did that mean Kea hadn’t visited or had Larissa just not said anything? I couldn’t imagine why Larissa wouldn’t mention such an intrusion to me, but whenever rumors met my ears, I knew there was often good reason for them. They started from somewhere. I could have asked Kea myself if she’d visited Larissa, but that would mean engaging in conversation with the pushy woman and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I would never want Kea to think that I was warming to her inane ideas about becoming a shifter.
Now that Larissa had announced this pilgrimage, the knot of worry in my gut was almost fully formed and I knew I needed to confront her privately before she went anywhere. If something was troubling the shaman, I needed to know about it.
Of course, I thought grimly. If something is bothering our healer, we’re all going to have problems.
I needed to get to the root of what was going on.
I could read the naked disappointment on her face as she approached.
Was she expecting someone else?
“You don’t look happy to see me,” I jested lightly as she neared. She forced a smile and shook her head.
“I just wasn’t expecting to see you,” she corrected. “You didn’t have to come all this way, Flint. I just saw you at the compound.”
“I wanted to talk to you alone,” I replied, following her through the open door into her house. “And we both know there are ears everywhere at the compound.”
She chuckled lightly.
“Supersensitive hearing is both a blessing and a curse,” she agreed, closing the door behind them as they crossed over the threshold. “What can I do for you?”
She was trying not to sound brusque but I could tell she didn’t want me there. I decided to be quick about my visit, even though she was already putting on a pot of customary tea.
“I just wanted to touch base with you before you go,” I replied slowly, sauntering further into the house to join her. She cocked her head and peered over her shoulder at me in confusion.
“About what?”
I shrugged, looking for any hint of guile in her eyes but all I could see was a slight sadness I’d never noticed before. It made my stomach nervous.
“I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay, Larissa. I mean, you have to admit…this trip is a little bit out of character for you.”
“Is it?”
She was dancing around my questions. I stifled a sigh.
“I’m a little worried about you,” I confessed, feeling my face flush at the words. How much things had changed in such a short time? Once upon a time, I never would have admitted such a thing.
Margot-Celine changed me, the same way Lowell changed Davis and Emmett changed Kealani, I was sure.
Larissa laughed.
“You’re worried about me?” she chuckled. “Why?”
There was genuine amusement in her face and I instantly felt foolish.
“I don’t know,” I replied quickly, wishing I hadn’t come now. “I just want to make sure you’re going with a clear head before you go.”
“I am,” she assured me, rising to her full height. “I’ll be even better after I do this.”
She sounded so convinced, so sure about the trip that I suddenly felt foolish for having worried at all. If I knew anything about shifter women, I knew they were resilient, strong, and independent. Especially this one.
“Where will you go?” I asked, wanting to be sure I covered all my bases. Her smile widened and she shrugged.
“Well that’s the thing about pilgrimages, Flint. You go where the spirits guide you, right?”
I wouldn’t know. I’d never really been on one.
“And you’ll be alone?” I insisted, the paternal side of me kicking in full gear. I couldn’t shake the idea that I was missing something big but Larissa appeared to be as open as she could be.
“Do you think I need a bodyguard?” she teased. “Are you offering?”
I wasn’t.
“I would have come if you’d given me some notice,” I told her gruffly and she laughed again.
“I’m just bugging you,” she assured me. “I wouldn’t want anyone to come and distract me. This is something I need to do on my own.”
Once more, a fleeting look of melancholy crossed over her face as she looked at me and I got the distinct impression that her mind was elsewhere.
The kettle whistled, indicating that the water had bo
iled, but I wasn’t staying.
“If you’re sure, Larissa…”
“I am.”
I had no choice but to accept her reassurances and I nodded curtly, turning toward the door.
“You’re not staying for tea?”
She sounded relieved and I shook my head.
“I’m sure you have matters to attend to before you go,” I replied as I reached for the door handle. “You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
It was an unnecessary add-on. Of course she would. She was one of the smartest women I knew.
“I will.”
I opened the door and paused to give her a quick grin.
“By the way, the garden looks great. You really got it together fast this year.”
A sad smile fell on her lips.
“Yeah,” she muttered. “Thanks.”
For a moment, I felt a pull inside me, one that told me to turn around and sit with her, but the expression on her face told me she wanted to be alone, to be at one with her thoughts, whatever they might be.
“You’ll let me know as soon as you come back?” What I’d really wanted to do was ask her if Kea had come by but for some reason, I couldn’t.
“Of course. Thank you for checking in on me, Flint. You’re a good man.”
I nodded again and headed out of the cottage, closing the door behind me before I shifted into my eagle form and swirled upward over the coniferous trees to fly home.
She’s fine, I told myself, dismissing the nagging in the pit of my stomach that told me I was wrong.
I just didn’t realize how wrong I was.
13
Larissa
I didn’t know what to make of Flint’s unexpected visit but almost as soon as he left, I had put it out of my head already. He was right—I had work to do before I left at dawn.
There wasn’t much to pack. I put aside some extra food and a canteen of water, just in case. I would be remiss to think that I didn’t live in the most beautiful, natural area of the world where resources were plentiful—no matter what Ruben believed.
If only I could get Ruben out of my head.
I reasoned that the pain I was feeling would fade away with every step I took away from the place where we’d been together. At least, that was my hope.
For the rest of the day, I prepared for my journey and inevitably, the rain that had been threatening to fall began to pelt against the windows of the cabin. I didn’t wish for it to let up before the morning. I rather enjoyed being out in the water, particularly when it was warm, spring weather. Granted, it might make for some treacherous walking, but I would be careful.
I had a hearty meal but I found it tasteless. I knew it was because I was eating alone and suddenly I felt very lonely.
Don’t be ridiculous, I chided myself. He was here for a couple days. You’ve been alone most of your life. Stop this now.
A hot bath only reminded me of Ruben more and by the time I lay down in my bed, I was back in the throes of a mild depression. Everything in the cabin reminded me of Ruben. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
It wasn’t even dawn when I left the house. It didn’t take me long to get moving after washing my face and brushing my teeth in the morning. I was already packed, the few meager items I thought I needed for the journey draped around my neck before I shifted into my graceful caribou form and bounded away from the cottage.
At the lip of the forest, I paused and inhaled deeply, regulating my breathing until I felt like my mind was clear.
I’m open to your guidance, I told the spirits. Tell me where to go.
I knew the general area of where I’d heard of artifacts to be buried. It would be a long and moderately dangerous trek, possibly weeks of walking through rugged terrain. As I opened my eyes, I knew I was ready.
Goodbye Ruben, I told him quietly. I wish you well.
* * *
On the first day, the rain held off, but the dark clouds hovered over the mountainside as I dipped down toward even ground, far away from the town I’d known since childhood.
By the second day, the rain unleashed again, a raging storm lighting the sky with massive bolts of lightning, making my heart pound with excitement.
I passed through herds of caribou but didn’t encounter another shifter. In fact as I made my way through the storm, mostly protected by the shelter of the trees, I realized I was mostly alone in those parts. All the animals had taken sanctuary in their nests and caves, leaving me to prance forward through the thick until I was at a massive clearing.
The elements, my friends, seemed to sense that I was no longer under the shroud of the forest and like magic, the clouds parted, revealing a star-spangled night above. I would need to stop for the night soon but with the field flowing in front of me, it was calling for a final sprint to unleash the last of my energy before I could locate shelter for sleep.
Without pausing, I danced forward, my strong but spindly legs leaping through the air and I was racing faster than I ever remembered running. The trees in my peripheral vision were a blur, the wind stinging my eyes so that I couldn’t clearly see. I didn’t slow my gait until I’d cleared the field and stood at the wooded space on the opposite side, breathing heavily and trying to regain my sense of direction.
I had been heading west but now I thought I must be going north. A quick glance at the sky above helped me to navigate myself and I felt a shiver snake down my spine unexpectedly.
My head whipped around, looking for signs of another beast, but there was nothing but the sound of crickets chirping through the field I had just sprinted through.
Slowly, my pulse returned to normal and I shook my neck, allowing for my satchel to fall against my broad, brown chest. I needed to find somewhere safe to sleep because I was truly alone. A cave would suffice, one where I could face the entrance, lest a bear amble in looking for a meal.
One of the benefits of being a shifter was that natural predators of our animal forms tended to stay away because they could sense the mortals within us. Even so, a hungry grizzly would eat a human as easily as he would a caribou and I needed to be on guard in case that happened.
It didn’t take long for me to locate a shelter for the night and when I hunkered down inside the dank crevice, I shifted back into my human form, shivering slightly from the drop in temperature. Immediately, I went to work, starting a fire with a chant and sprinkle of herbs I had in my satchel.
Instantly, a roaring fire appeared and I sank back against the wall of the cave, relishing the feel of the warmth against my skin. If my human scent didn’t ward off any potential predators, the fire would surely keep them at bay, but even as I thought it, I knew I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t going to get mauled by a grizzly or overzealous coyote. I was going to find the artifact and return home with good news for Kea.
Because gods’ knew, someone deserved to be happy, even if I couldn’t be.
* * *
I didn’t remember falling asleep but I must have soon after the fire started. The next thing I knew, sunlight was streaming through the mouth of the cave and I was blinking. I moaned in slight pain, realizing that I’d fallen asleep with my neck bent at an obscure angle. I hadn’t even laid down.
I’m getting too old for this, I groaned to myself. I was just being dramatic, though. The truth was, I just wasn’t used to this kind of drive on my body. In a few days, I’d be more seasoned. I just needed to break through the hump.
On my feet, I ambled out of the cavern, stretching as I looked around. The happy chitter of birds suddenly made me forget the aches in my body and I smiled up at the trees.
“Good morning,” I said aloud. I almost jumped at the sound of my own voice. It occurred to me that I hadn’t bothered to use it in two days. I reminded myself to do that more when I turned back into my human form. For now, however, I had to keep moving. I could feel the spirits calling out to me again and I knew which way they wanted me to go. In seconds, I was on all fours again, bounding for the horizon beyond.<
br />
* * *
It grew incredibly warm that day and the terrain was abuzz with wildlife. I saw deer, foxes, caribou, and bear, all out frolicking about as they embraced the heated weather. I realized that they were doing more than just playing…and that only made my smile larger.
It was springtime, after all, the season for rebirth and mating. It was their inherent need to procreate and grow the species, just as nature intended. Their instinctive happiness made me happier too and as I ambled to a riverbed for a drink, I realized that I hadn’t thought of Ruben all day.
Until now.
I grimaced, shaking my head as I lowered my mouth to the cool, refreshing stream at my feet. The water was still cold, despite the heat of the day. I closed my eyes for a moment, relishing the feel of it against my tongue.
It wasn’t until I heard the clack of hooves on my right that I opened my eyes again.
A massive bull stood beside me, his dark eyes blinking as he stared at me. The nearness of his presence took me aback and for half a second, I thought he might be Ruben.
But of course it wasn’t. This bull was much lighter than Ruben had been in his caribou form. Moreover, I could tell this deer wasn’t a shifter.
He nudged at me with his pedicles and I was mildly surprised to see that his antlers had already started to grow again, despite the earliness of the season. On the other hand, he was one of the biggest bulls I’d ever seen. It stood to reason that he was growing his antlers faster than most. My own antlers had yet to show any sign of movement beneath the velvet, but sometimes I could feel the throb like they wanted to start doing something.
I backed away, slightly perturbed by his closeness and resumed my drinking. He didn’t take the hint and I was beginning to understand why—he was looking for a mate.
I lifted my head again and danced backward, making a snort to tell him I wasn’t interested, but he came at me for a third time, his nostrils pushing into my chest as his intentions became crystal clear.
