An Unexpected Arrangement

by Heidi McCahan

  Jack pushed the folding door closed and moved on to unpacking the clothes he’d stuffed in his suitcase. The recruiter said the job was his. Tomorrow’s final interview was merely a formality. He’d brought his best suit anyway. Part of him couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that he’d made a huge mistake, leaving the girls with his mother and fleeing to this new life in Utah.

  If a fresh start was the beginning of his life’s next chapter, why did he feel so lonely?

  Jack crossed the room and stood at the window facing the mountains ringing the city. Wisps of pastel colors painted the evening sky as the sun inched toward setting.

  What were Macey and Charlotte doing right now? His throat ached as he imagined his mother putting them to bed. Did Aunt Linda come by and help her? Maybe Laramie had heard what happened and she’d help, too.

  “You’re an idiot.” He pressed his forehead to the glass and stared at the traffic moving through the streets below. Everyone in a hurry to get where they needed to be. People rushing home to have dinner with their families. Tourists on summer vacations with their kids and grandkids.

  He missed his daughters so much he could hardly stand it.

  Why did he think he’d ever be able to leave them? The constant crying and realization that their high fevers might’ve led to seizures had wrecked him, but staying in this hotel room and trying to cope with the silence pressing in around him was so much worse.

  Jack turned away from the window and sat on the bed. He needed a distraction. Something to occupy his thoughts and keep him from getting back in his truck and driving all night back to Merritt’s Crossing. He eyed the remote control but left the television off.

  The allure of watching a show uninterrupted didn’t offer nearly as much contentment as he’d hoped. It didn’t matter if he could watch whatever he wanted when everyone he loved and cared about was a day’s drive away. He had the thing he’d longed for—solitude and freedom from judgment. At last, he didn’t see the furniture store every day or his dad’s friends reminding him of his shortcomings.

  But he also didn’t see Charlotte’s toothy smile or hear Macey’s sleepy sigh when he tucked her in at night. And he wouldn’t get to spend most days with Laramie anymore. Those incredible green eyes. Her long hair spilling across her shoulders or the curve of her pink lips when she smiled. That contented sound she’d made when he’d kissed her.

  Jack pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. Why did he ever think he was better off without her?

  Maybe she was better off without him.

  He stood and found his phone, then scrolled to an app to order takeout for dinner.

  All he wanted was to call Laramie and tell her that he’d made a terrible mistake. He was wrong. She was brave and selfless and strong. Her ability to love well was incredible. He was a fool for asking her to move away when living in Merritt’s Crossing meant everything to her. She deserved someone who didn’t ask her to choose between a relationship and her family. Maybe he was right when he told his mother and his aunt that he’d never be enough. He’d never be enough for Macey and Charlotte. And he’d never be enough for Laramie, either.

  * * *

  “What do you mean he’s gone?” Laramie pressed her phone to her ear and let her duffel bag drop to the floor in her entryway. Her heart pounded. Jack left?

  “He left for Utah while you were at camp,” Skye said. “I’m so sorry.”

  This had to be a misunderstanding. Or a cruel joke. Jack wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. Would he?

  “Something terrible must’ve happened.” Hot tears stung Laramie’s eyes as Skye’s news sank in. Trixie and Bear barked, their claws scratching the glass as they pawed at the back door. The dog sitter she’d hired had left them out in the backyard. Poor things. Laramie strode toward the back door, her legs wobbly like her grandmother’s Jell-O salad.

  “The girls got sick and Jack couldn’t handle it. He took them to the ER because they were both inconsolable. Mom and Aunt Linda went to help him as quickly as they could, and he had a meltdown right there in the hospital,” Skye said. “He said he wasn’t fit to be a father, that he knew he’d never be enough for Macey and Charlotte.”

  Oh, Jack.

  “Where are the babies?” Laramie whispered.

  “They are both with my mother for now.”

  “But only for a few days, right? Just until he pulls himself together?”

  Skye hesitated. “I—I think he wants my mom to be their permanent guardian.”

  Skye’s words wrecked her. Laramie choked back a sob. Those precious babies abandoned all over again. She opened the door and Bear and Trixie barreled inside. Trixie jumped up and pressed her paws against Laramie’s waist, tongue lolling as she tried to smother her with kisses. Bear raced toward his bowl and noisily lapped up water.

  Laramie sank onto her sofa. “I wish I had answered when he called me.”

  “This isn’t your responsibility,” Skye said.

  Laramie frowned. “I know, but—”

  “You can’t rescue him this time.”

  Laramie’s gut clenched. “I’m not going to rescue him.”

  What did that even mean? Who said anything about rescuing him? She wasn’t going to hop back in her car and chase after him like a desperate fool. Spots peppered her vision. She’d just come home from a week at volleyball camp. Jack had dropped his daughters off with his mother and left town. Didn’t she have a right to be angry? Or feel the tiniest bit guilty for not answering when he’d called?

  Silence filled the air. “I know this is upsetting. We’re sad and angry, too. But Jack likes to run from pain. None of us are surprised.”

  Laramie pulled the phone away from her ear and stared in disbelief. Even though Jack’s behavior mirrored his cousin McKenna’s when she’d left Connor with Mrs. Tomlinson, Skye’s words still cut deep. Maybe Jack’s actions didn’t surprise his siblings or his mother, but Laramie was completely shocked.

  Because she thought she mattered enough for Jack to stay.

  Trixie jumped on the sofa and Laramie didn’t discourage her. Instead, she sank her fingers into the soft fur on Trixie’s head. The dog tipped her snout up and gave Laramie another affectionate lick on the cheek.

  “What do you think might happen next?” Laramie asked.

  “With the babies? Or with Jack?”

  “Both.”

  “Hopefully, Jack will come home soon. James hasn’t proposed yet, but I think he’s in love with my mother. And she seems happy with him. His children live in Idaho, so he’ll want to travel back and forth. This new season of her life isn’t conducive to raising twins.”

  Laramie squeezed her eyes shut. “The twins need their father. Why can’t Jack see that?” There was nothing wrong with being raised by grandparents. Laramie was the person she was today because of her relationship with her grandparents, but Macey and Charlotte would likely struggle with abandonment as they grew up. Having two parents might ease that burden. Laramie longed to help ease that burden. She wanted very much to step in and be that person. The mom they needed.

  “My mom is not afraid to ask people to pray. When Jack didn’t come back and she had to take the twins home, she started asking everyone she could think of to pray. It seems unlikely, but we are still hoping Jack will change his mind and come home.”

  “I’m going to pray he comes home, too.” Laramie hated to think that their last conversation might’ve contributed to Jack’s decision to leave. She’d spent too much time over the past week mentally rehashing his harsh words. When she was supposed to be working with the girls on their setting technique or refereeing a scrimmage, her thoughts had wandered to Jack’s kisses. A hollow ache filled her stomach as she remembered slamming the door behind her. The final punctuation on their heated argument.

  “I’ll let you know if I hear any updates,” Skye said.
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  “Please. Keep me posted.”

  “I will.”

  Laramie ended the call, then pressed her head against Trixie’s soft fur. While Jack was an adult and responsible for his own choices, she felt terrible for the things she’d said. And the things she hadn’t. She’d been so stubborn and determined to get her way, so convinced Jack’s history of making mistakes meant he’d make another one, that she’d been blind to her own flaws.

  “Lord, I’ve been so selfish and prideful. Please forgive me. And if it’s not too late, please change Jack’s heart. Even if we aren’t meant to be, please bring him back to his daughters. They need him desperately.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jack’s pen hovered over the lease agreement. The one-bedroom apartment he’d found in a new complex was great. Walking distance to his office when the weather was nice. Close to the grocery store and the gym. It was small but offered an incredible view of the mountains.

  So why couldn’t he sign?

  His phone hummed in his pocket and he fished it out. A photo of Macey and Charlotte in their high chairs, smiling with chunks of watermelon in their little fists, filled the screen.

  Eating our first watermelon. Wish you were here.

  Jack’s throat tightened. That photo and eight simple words from his mother propelled him from his chair.

  “Is everything okay, sir?” The young woman behind the desk in the apartment’s property management office stared at him. “Did you have more questions?”

  “No.” Jack handed her the pen. “I’m sorry to waste your time, but I’ve changed my mind.”

  Her ruby-red lips pursed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Again, I apologize.” He couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. “As it turns out, I’m not meant to be here after all. I need to get back home as soon as possible.”

  “Thanks for letting me know.” She slid the papers toward her. “Safe travels.”

  “Thank you.” Jack strode toward the door and out into the August sunshine. He quickly jabbed at his phone screen and called his mother.

  She answered right away. “Jack? Is that you?”

  “Hey, Mom.” He swallowed hard against the ache in his throat. “I—I messed up. Moving away was a huge mistake. I’m coming home tonight.”

  Silence filled the line, then he heard her sniffling.

  “That’s wonderful news, sweetie. I’m so glad.” She drew a wobbly breath. “Macey and Charlotte will be so happy to see you.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, then cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to see all of you.”

  “Are you leaving now?”

  “As soon as I grab my stuff from the hotel.” He jogged toward his truck and got in. “Don’t tell Laramie, okay? I want to surprise her.”

  “Of course you do,” Mom said. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “I’ll see you in about nine hours.” Jack ended the call, then drove away from the apartment complex. He couldn’t wait to get home and kiss his sweet babies. He’d missed them more and more with each passing day. Then he’d find Laramie and tell her he couldn’t live another second without her in his life.

  He’d finally come to the end of himself. It was time to admit to his family and to Laramie that he had gotten this all wrong. Jack gripped the steering wheel tighter as he merged onto the interstate. Why had he been so stubborn? Worse, he’d let his own hurt blind him to the blessings that were right in front of him the whole time. His stomach twisted as he thought about what his leaving might’ve done to Macey and Charlotte. Sure, kids were resilient. Connor was proof that a permanent home and a loving family offset early childhood trauma. He still felt horrible for leaving his children.

  Thankfully, he’d lasted less than two weeks in Utah, and his mother had patiently waited for him to come to his senses. She was such a selfless person. He had a lot to learn from her.

  As the miles stretched before him, Jack shifted in his seat, suddenly compelled to pray. He knew he needed to reconnect with the Lord before he got home and reconnected with his family.

  But where to start? Jack palmed the back of his neck, then reached for the knob on the radio to turn up the volume. He’d never been very good at this talking-to-God stuff. And his parents, aunts and uncles—they always made it look so easy. When his grandparents were alive, they’d incorporated their faith into their lives so naturally. Jack wanted that, too.

  He turned off the radio, then heaved a sigh in the overwhelming silence of the truck’s cab. He felt so awkward and maybe a little bit foolish, but at least he was alone while he tried to reach out to God. Somehow, deep in his heart, he knew that even though he’d messed up all of the relationships with the people in his life that mattered most, his family and the foundation they established for him in church as a little boy had taught him he was never too far gone. He could always run back to the Lord. It was too late to restore his relationship with his earthly father, but if he made things right with his heavenly Father, he knew he’d find peace at last.

  * * *

  Laramie sat down on the sofa with a giant bowl of popcorn for one and a diet soda. She’d normally savor a quiet evening without any commitments before the hectic pace of volleyball season and a new school year kicked in. Tonight she couldn’t shake the loneliness blanketing her like an ominous storm cloud.

  This was the saddest Friday night of her entire summer. Trixie heaved a sigh and lowered her snout to her paws, her chocolate eyes filled with empathy.

  “I know, right?” Laramie grabbed her remote. “This is pathetic.”

  Bear was sprawled halfway on and halfway off his bed. He barked softly and his tail thumped against the hardwood while he slept.

  Laramie scrolled through the channels in search of a movie to chase away her gloomy mood. Maybe she needed an action-packed adventure instead of her usual heartwarming romantic flick.

  Before she could choose, her phone rang. Laramie ignored it. She’d given up on Jack calling her, and she didn’t want to talk to anyone else. What was he doing tonight? Working late from some trendy new loft apartment with a breathtaking view of downtown Salt Lake City? Or hanging out with his new coworkers?

  Did he think of her or his girls at all?

  And why did it even matter? He was gone and she hadn’t heard from him. That was all she needed to know. She certainly wasn’t going to spend another night crying over Jack.

  Her phone chimed again, indicating a new voice mail. She craned her neck to see the screen, which was just out of reach on the coffee table. What if Jack was calling?

  No. She wasn’t going to look. Even if he was calling, she had to be strong and not answer. He had to understand he couldn’t toy with her heart like that. She pointed the remote toward the television when her phone rang again.

  Guilt swept in. Maybe she should see if the call was important. It might be her mother or a volleyball player or a parent. Laramie grabbed her phone from the coffee table, noted her mother’s number on the screen and swiped to answer.

  “Hello?”

  “Oh, finally. You answered.” Mom’s voice was breathless. “Laramie, we need your help.”

  “Mom? What’s going on?” Laramie set her bowl aside and pushed to her feet.

  “It’s your grandfather.” Mom’s voice broke. “Honey, he’s missing.”

  Laramie gasped. “What? How?”

  “We’re not sure. Your grandmother thought he’d fallen asleep watching the news, and she went to put some clean clothes away. Then she noticed he wasn’t in the living room or anywhere else in the house.”

  Laramie’s heart thudded. “He’s wandering around the farm alone?”

  Her mother’s silence confirmed her worst fear. “Mom, how long has he been missing?”

  “We don’t know where he is or when he left. That’s why I’m calling. There’s a S
ilver Alert issued that will be broadcast on the emergency services network and on the interstate digital signs. That will alert travelers to be on the lookout.”

  Laramie cupped her hand to her mouth to hold back a sob.

  “Your brother and Drew Tomlinson are getting a team together and they’ll start searching until we can find him.”

  She jumped to her feet and motioned for the dogs to get in their crates, grabbed treats from the box and dropped them in with Trixie and Bear, then latched the doors. “Where should I start?”

  “There’s a team gathering at the farmhouse now,” Mom said.

  “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Wear good shoes and bring a flashlight.”

  “Got it.” Laramie ended the call. Her worst fears had become a reality. Her beloved grandpa was missing. She shoved the flashlight, extra batteries and a bottle of water in a canvas tote. Then she tucked her ponytail in a baseball cap, laced up her tennis shoes and ran out the door.

  “Please, please let Grandpa be okay,” she prayed as she drove to the farm. It would be dark in a few minutes. Even though it was still warm for a little while after the sun went down, the forecast said temperatures would drop significantly overnight. What if they didn’t find him? What if he got cold or thirsty? He was already disoriented or else he wouldn’t be missing. She stopped herself from thinking about the unimaginable. They’d find him. They had to.

  By the time Laramie pulled up in front of the farmhouse, six vehicles were already in the long driveway, including Drew Tomlinson’s sheriff’s deputy vehicle. She parked her car beside her brother’s truck, grabbed her flashlight and jumped out. The sky had turned a rich indigo blue since the sun had dipped below the horizon. She shivered a little, wishing she’d remembered to grab a jacket.

  “Hey, Laramie,” Landon greeted her as she joined the circle of men and women forming in front of her grandparents’ house. She paused, realizing that she’d never bothered to ask what had brought him back home. The hurt in his eyes and the defeated slump of his shoulders hinted at the heavy burden he carried.