The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)

by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER I

  During the dire reign of the terrific Robespierre, and in the dead ofnight, braving the cold, the darkness and the damps of December, someEnglish passengers, in a small vessel, were preparing to glide silentlyfrom the coast of France, when a voice of keen distress resounded fromthe shore, imploring, in the French language, pity and admission.

  The pilot quickened his arrangements for sailing; the passengers soughtdeeper concealment; but no answer was returned.

  'O hear me!' cried the same voice, 'for the love of Heaven, hear me!'

  The pilot gruffly swore, and, repressing a young man who was rising,peremptorily ordered every one to keep still, at the hazard of discoveryand destruction.

  'Oh listen to my prayers!' was called out by the same voice, withincreased and even frightful energy; 'Oh leave me not to be massacred!'

  'Who's to pay for your safety?' muttered the pilot.

  'I will!' cried the person whom he had already rebuffed, 'I pledgemyself for the cost and the consequence!'

  'Be lured by no tricks;' said an elderly man, in English; 'put offimmediately, pilot.'

  The pilot was very ready to obey.

  The supplications from the land were now sharpened into cries of agony,and the young man, catching the pilot by the arm, said eagerly, ''Tisthe voice of a woman! where can be the danger? Take her in, pilot, at mydemand, and my charge!'

  'Take her in at your peril, pilot!' rejoined the elderly man.

  Rage had elevated his voice; the petitioner heard it, andcalled--screamed, rather, for mercy.

  'Nay, since she is but a woman, and in distress, save her, pilot, inGod's name!' said an old sea officer. 'A woman, a child, and a fallenenemy, are three persons that every true Briton should scorn to misuse.'

  The sea officer was looked upon as first in command; the young man,therefore, no longer opposed, separated himself from a young lady withwhom he had been conversing, and, descending from the boat, gave hishand to the suppliant.

  There was just light enough to shew him a female in the most ordinaryattire, who was taking a whispering leave of a male companion, yet moremeanly equipped.

  With trembling eagerness, she sprang into the vessel, and sunk ratherthan sat upon a place that was next to the pilot, ejaculating ferventthanks, first to Heaven, and then to her assistant.

  The pilot now, in deep hoarse accents, strictly enjoined that no oneshould speak or move till they were safely out at sea.

  All obeyed; and, with mingled hope and dread, insensible to the weather,and dauntless to the hazards of the sea, watchful though mute, andjoyful though filled with anxiety, they set sail.

  In about half an hour, the grumbling of the pilot, who was despoticmaster of the boat, was changed into loud and vociferous oaths.

  Alarmed, the passengers concluded that they were chaced. They lookedaround,--but to no purpose; the darkness impeded examination.

  They were happily, however, mistaken; the lungs of the pilot had merelyrecovered their usual play, and his humour its customary vent, from abelief that all pursuit would now be vain.

  This proved the signal to general liberty of speech; and the young ladyalready mentioned, addressing herself, in a low voice, to the gentlemanwho had aided the Incognita, said, 'I wonder what sort of a dulcinea youhave brought amongst us! though, I really believe, you are such acomplete knight-errant, that you would just as willingly find her atawny Hottentot as a fair Circassian. She affords us, however, thevivifying food of conjecture,--the only nourishment of which I neversicken!--I am glad, therefore, that 'tis dark, for discovery is almostalways disappointment.'

  'She seems to be at prayers.'

  'At prayers? She's a nun, then, depend upon it. Make her tell us thehistory of her convent.'

  'Why what's all this, woman?' said the pilot, in French, 'are you afraidof being drowned?'

  'No!' answered she, in the same language, 'I fear nothing now--it istherefore I am thankful!'

  Retreating, then, from her rude neighbour, she gently approached anelderly lady, who was on her other side, but who, shrinking from her,called out, 'Mr Harleigh, I shall be obliged to you if you will changeplaces with me.'

  'Willingly;' he answered; but the young lady with whom he had beenconversing, holding his coat, exclaimed, 'Now you want to have all thestories of those monks and abbesses to yourself! I won't let you stir, Iam resolved!'

  The stranger begged that she might not incommode any one; and drew back.

  'You may sit still now, Mr Harleigh,' said the elderly lady, shakingherself; 'I do very well again.'

  Harleigh bit his lip, and, in a low voice, said to his companion, 'It isstrange that the facility of giving pain should not lessen its pleasure!How far better tempered should we all be to others, if we anticipatedthe mischief that ill humour does to ourselves!'

  'Now are you such a very disciple of Cervantes,' she replied, 'that Ihave no doubt but your tattered dulcinea has secured your protection forthe whole voyage, merely because old aunt Maple has been a little illbred to her.'

  'I don't know but you are right, for nothing so uncontrollably excitesresistance, as grossness to the unoffending.'

  He then, in French, enquired of the new passenger, whether she would nothave some thicker covering, to shelter her from the chill of the night;offering her, at the same time, a large wrapping coat.

  She thanked him, but declared that she was perfectly warm.

  'Are you so, faith?' cried the elderly man already mentioned, 'I wish,then, you would give me your receipt, Mistress; for I verily think thatmy blood will take a month's thawing, before it will run again in myveins.'

  She made no answer, and, in a tone somewhat piqued, he added, 'I believein my conscience those outlandish gentry have no more feeling withoutthan they have within!'

  Encreasing coldness and darkness repressed all further spirit ofconversation, till the pilot proclaimed that they were halfway over thestraits.

  A general exclamation of joy now broke forth from all, while the newcomer, suddenly casting something into the sea, ejaculated, in French,'Sink, and be as nothing!' And then, clasping her hands, added, 'Heavenbe praised, 'tis gone for ever!'

  The pilot scolded and swore; every one was surprised and curious; andthe elderly man plumply demanded, 'Pray what have you thrown overboard,Mistress?'

  Finding himself again unanswered, he rather angrily raised his voice,saying, 'What, I suppose you don't understand English now? Though youwere pretty quick at it when we were leaving you in the lurch! Faith,that's convenient enough!'

  'For all I have been silent so long,' cried the old sea officer, 'it hasnot been for want of something to say; and I ask the favour that youwon't any of you take it ill, if I make free to mention what has beenpassing, all this time, in my mind; though it may rather have the air ofa hint than a compliment; but as I owe to being as much in fault asyourselves, I hope you won't be affronted at a little plain dealing.'

  'You are mighty good to us, indeed, Sir!' cried Mrs Maple, 'but praywhat fault have you to charge Me with, amongst the rest?'

  'I speak of us in a body, Madam, and, I hope, with proper shame! Tothink that we should all get out of that loathsome captivity, with solittle reverence, that not one amongst us should have fallen upon hisknees, to give thanks, except just this poor outlandish gentlewoman;whose good example I recommend it to us all now to follow.'

  'What, and so overturn the boat,' said the elderly man, 'that we may allbe drowned for joy, because we have escaped being beheaded?'

  'I submit to your better judgment, Mr Riley,' replied the officer, 'withregard to the attitude; and the more readily, because I don't think thatthe posture is the chief thing, half the people that kneel, even atchurch, as I have taken frequent note, being oftener in a doze than in afit of devotion. But the fear of shaking the boat would be but a poorreason to fear shaking our gratitude, which seems to me to want itabundantly. So I, for one, give thanks to the Author of all things!'

  'You are a fine fellow, no
ble Admiral!' cried Mr Riley, 'as fine afellow as ever I knew! and I honour you, faith! for I don't believethere is a thing in the world that requires so much courage as to riskderision, even from fools.'

  A young man, wrapped up in flannels, who had been undisguisedly enjoyinga little sneering laugh, now became suddenly grave, and pretended not toheed what was passing.

  Mrs Maple protested that she could not bear the parade of saying herprayers in public.

  Another elderly lady, who had hitherto seemed too sick to speak,declared that she could not think of giving thanks, till she were sureof being out of danger.

  And the young lady, laughing immoderately, vowed that she had never seensuch a congress of quizzes in her life; adding, 'We want nothing, now,but a white foaming billow, or a shrill whistle from Boreas, to bring usall to confession, and surprise out our histories.'

  'Apropos to quizzes,' said Mr Riley, addressing the hitherto silentyoung man, 'how comes it, Mr Ireton, that we have not had one word fromyou all this time?'

  'What do you mean by apropos, Sir?' demanded the young man, somewhatpiqued.

  'Faith, I don't very well know. I am no very good French dictionary. ButI always say apropos, when I am at a loss how to introduce any thing.Let us hear, however, where you have been passing your thoughts all thistime. Are you afraid the sea should be impregnated with informers,instead of salt, and so won't venture to give breath to an idea, lest itshould be floated back to Signor Robespierre, and hodge-podged into aconspiracy?'

  'Ay, your thoughts, your thoughts! give us your thoughts, Ireton!' criedthe young lady, 'I am tired to death of my own.'

  'Why, I have been reflecting, for this last hour or two, what a singularcircumstance it is, that in all the domains that I have scampered overupon the continent, I have not met with one young person who could hitmy fancy as a companion for life.'

  'And I, Sir, think,' said the sea officer, turning to him with someseverity, 'that a man who could go out of old England to chuse himself awife, never deserves to set foot on it again! If I knew any worsepunishment, I should name it.'

  This silenced Mr Ireton; and not another word was uttered, till theopening of day displayed the British shore.

  The sea officer then gave a hearty huzza, which was echoed by Harleigh;while Riley, as the light gleamed upon the old and tattered garments ofthe stranger, burst into a loud laugh, exclaiming, 'Faith, I should liketo know what such a demoiselle as this should come away from her owncountry for? What could you be afraid of, hay! demoiselle?'--

  She turned her head from him in silence. Harleigh enquired, in French,whether she had escaped the general contagion, from which almost all inthe boat had suffered, of sickness.

  She cheerfully replied, Yes! She had escaped every evil!

  'The demoiselle is soon contented,' said Riley; 'but I cannot for mylife make out who she is, nor what she wants. Why won't you tell us,demoiselle? I should like to know your history.'

  'Much obliged for the new fellow traveller you have given us, MrHarleigh!' said Mrs Maple, contemptuously examining her; 'I have reallysome curiosity myself, to be informed what could put into such a body'smind as that, to want to come over to England.'

  'The desire of learning the language, I hope!' cried Harleigh, 'for Ishould be sorry that she knew it already!'

  'I wish, at least, she would tell us,' said the young lady, 'how shehappened to find out our vessel just at the moment we were sailing.'

  'And I should be glad to discover,' cried Riley, 'why she understandsEnglish on and off at her pleasure, now so ready, and now answering onenever a word.'

  The old sea officer, touching his hat as he addressed her, said, 'For mypart, Madam, I hope the compliment you make our country in coming to it,is that of preferring good people to bad; in which case every Englishmanshould honour and welcome you.'

  'And I hope,' cried Harleigh, while the stranger seemed hesitating howto answer, 'that this patriotic benevolence is comprehended; if not, Iwill attempt a translation.'

  'I speak French so indifferently, which, however, I don't much mind,'cried the Admiral, 'that I am afraid the gentlewoman would hardlyunderstand me, or else I would translate for myself.'

  The stranger now, with a strong expression of gratitude, replied inEnglish, but with a foreign accent, 'It is only how to thank you I am ata loss, Sir; I understand you perfectly.'

  'So I could have sworn!' cried Riley, with a laugh, 'I could have swornthat this would be the turn for understanding English again! And you canspeak it, too, can you, Mistress?'

  'And pray, good woman,' demanded Mrs Maple, staring at her, 'how cameyou to learn English? Have you lived in any English family? If you have,I should be glad to know their names.'

  'Ay, their names! their names!' was echoed from Mrs Maple by her niece.

  The stranger looked down, and stammered, but said nothing that coulddistinctly be heard.

  Riley, laughing again, though provoked, exclaimed, 'There! now you askher a question, she won't comprehend a word more! I was sure how 'twouldbe! They are clever beings, those French, they are, faith! alwaysplaying fools' tricks, like so many monkies, yet always lighting rightupon their feet, like so many cats!'

  'You must resign your demoiselle, as Mr Riley calls her, for a heroine;'whispered the young lady to Mr Harleigh. 'Her dress is not merelyshabby; 'tis vulgar. I have lost all hope of a pretty nun. She can benothing above a house-maid.'

  'She is interesting by her solitary situation,' he answered, 'be shewhat she may by her rank: and her voice, I think, is singularlypleasing.'

  'Oh, you must fall in love with her, I suppose, as a thing of course.If, however, she has one atom that is native in her, how will she bechoaked by our foggy atmosphere!'

  'And has our atmosphere, Elinor, no purifying particles, that, indefiance of its occasional mists, render it salubrious?'

  'Oh, I don't mean alone the foggy air that she must inhale; but thefoggy souls whom she must see and hear. If she have no political bias,that sets natural feelings aside, she'll go off in a lethargy, from_ennui_, the very first week. For myself I confess, from my happiness ingoing forth into the world at this sublime juncture, of turning men intoinfants, in order to teach them better how to grow up, I feel as if Ihad never awaked into life, till I had opened my eyes on that side ofthe channel.'

  'And can you, Elinor, with a mind so powerful, however--pardonme!--wild, have witnessed....'

  'Oh, I know what you mean!--but those excesses are only the first frothof the cauldron. When once 'tis skimmed, you will find the compositionclear, sparkling, delicious!'

  'Has, then, the large draught which, in a two years' residence amidstthat combustion, you have, perforce, quaffed, of revolutionary beverage,left you, in defiance of its noxious qualities, still thus....' Hehesitated.

  'Inebriated, you would say, Albert,' cried she, laughing, 'if youblushed not for me at the idea. But, in this one point, your liberality,though matchless in every other, is terribly narrowed by adhesion toold tenets. You enjoy not therefore, as you ought, this glorious epoch,that lifts our minds from slavery and from nothingness, into play andvigour; and leaves us no longer, as heretofore, merely making believethat we are thinking beings.'

  'Unbridled liberty, Elinor, cannot rush upon a state, without letting itloose to barbarism. Nothing, without danger, is suddenly unshackled:safety demands control from the baby to the despot.'

  'The opening essays here,' she replied, 'have certainly been calamitous:but, when all minor articles are progressive, in rising to perfection,must the world in a mass alone stand still, because its ameliorationwould be costly? Can any thing be so absurd, so preposterous, as to seekto improve mankind individually, yet bid it stand still collectively?What is education, but reversing propensities; making the idleindustrious, the rude civil, and the ignorant learned? And do you not,for every student thus turned out of his likings, his vagaries, or hisvices, to be new modelled, call this alteration improvement? Why, then,must you brand all similar efforts for new
organizing states, nations,and bodies of society, by that word of unmeaning alarm, innovation?'

  'To reverse, Elinor, is not to new model, but to destroy. Thiseducation, with which you illustrate your maxims, does it begin with thebirth? Does it not, on the contrary, work its way by the gentlestgradations, one part almost imperceptibly preparing for another,throughout all the stages of childhood to adolescence, and ofadolescence to manhood? If you give Homer before the Primer, do youthink that you shall make a man of learning? If you shew the planetarysystem to the child who has not yet trundled his hoop, do you believethat you will form a mathematician? And if you put a rapier into hishands before he has been exercised with foils,--what is your guaranteefor the safety of his professor?'

  Just then the stranger, having taken off her gloves, to arrange an oldshawl, in which she was wrapt, exhibited hands and arms of so dark acolour, that they might rather be styled black than brown.

  Elinor exultingly drew upon them the eyes of Harleigh, and both taking,at the same instant, a closer view of the little that was visible of themuffled up face, perceived it to be of an equally dusky hue.

  The look of triumph was now repeated.

  'Pray, Mistress,' exclaimed Mr Riley, scoffingly fixing his eyes uponher arms, 'what part of the world might you come from? The settlementsin the West Indies? or somewhere off the coast of Africa?'

  She drew on her gloves, without seeming to hear him.

  'There!' said he, 'now the demoiselle don't understand English again!Faith, I begin to be entertained with her. I did not like it at first.'

  'What say you to your dulcinea now, Harleigh?' whispered Elinor; 'youwill not, at least, yelep her the Fair Maid of the Coast.'

  'She has very fine eyes, however!' answered he, laughing.

  The wind just then blowing back the prominent borders of a Frenchnight-cap, which had almost concealed all her features, displayed a largeblack patch, that covered half her left cheek, and a broad black ribbon,which bound a bandage of cloth over the right side of her forehead.

  Before Elinor could utter her rallying congratulations to Harleigh, uponthis sight, she was stopt by a loud shout from Mr Riley; 'Why I amafraid the demoiselle has been in the wars!' cried he. 'Why, Mistress,have you been trying your skill at fisty cuffs for the good of yournation? or only playing with kittens for your private diversion?'

  'Now, then, Harleigh,' said Elinor, 'what says your quixotism now? Areyou to become enamoured with those plaisters and patches, too?'

  'Why she seems a little mangled, I confess; but it may be only byscrambling from some prison.'

  'Really, Mr Harleigh,' said Mrs Maple, scarcely troubling herself tolower her voice as, incessantly, she continued surveying the stranger,'I don't think that we are much indebted to you for bringing us suchcompany as this into our boat! We did not pay such a price to have itmade a mere common hoy. And without the least enquiry into hercharacter, too! without considering what one must think of a person whocould look out for a place, in a chance vessel, at midnight!'

  'Let us hope,' said Harleigh, perceiving, by the down-cast eyes of thestranger, that she understood what passed, 'that we shall not make herrepent her choice of an asylum.'

  'Ah! there is no fear!' cried she, with quickness.

  'Your prepossession, then, is, happily, in our favour?'

  'Not my prepossession, but my gratitude!'

  'This is true practical philosophy, to let the sum total of goodoutbalance the detail, which little minds would dwell upon, of evil.'

  'Of evil! I think myself at this moment the most fortunate of humanbeings!'

  This was uttered with a sort of transport that she seemed unable tocontrol, and accompanied with a bright smile, that displayed a row ofbeautifully white and polished teeth.

  Riley now, again heartily laughing, exclaimed, 'This demoiselle amusesme mightily! she does, faith! with hardly a rag to cover her this coldwinter's night; and on the point of going to the bottom every moment, inthis crazy little vessel; with never a friend to own her body if she'sdrowned, nor an acquaintance to say a word to before she sinks; not acountryman within leagues, except our surly pilot, who grudges her evenlife-room, because he's afraid he shan't be the better for her: going toa nation where she won't know a dog from a cat, and will be buffettedfrom pillar to post, if she don't pay for more than she wants; with allthis, she is the most fortunate of human beings! Faith, the demoiselleis soon pleased! She is, faith! But why won't you give me your receipt,Mistress, for finding all things so agreeable?'

  'You would be sorry, Sir, to take it!'

  'I fear, then,' said Harleigh, 'it is only past suffering that bestowsthis character of bliss upon simple safety?'

  'Pray, Mr Riley,' cried Mrs Maple, 'please to explain what you mean, bytalking so freely of our all going to the bottom? I should be glad toknow what right you had to make me come on board the vessel, if youthink it so crazy?'

  She then ordered the pilot to use all possible expedition for puttingher on shore, at the very first jut of land; adding, 'you may take therest of the company round, wherever you chuse, but as to me, I desire tobe landed directly.'

  She could not, however, prevail; but, in the panic which had seized her,she grew as incessant in reproach as in alarm, bitterly bewailing themoment that she had ever trusted herself to such an element, such avessel, and such guides.

  'See,' said Harleigh, in a low voice to the stranger, 'how little yourphilosophy has spread; and how soon every evil, however great, isforgotten when over, to aggravate the smallest discomfort that stillremains! What recompence, or what exertion would any one of us havethought too great, for obtaining a place in this boat only a few hoursago! Yet you, alone, seem to have discovered, that the true art ofsupporting present inconvenience is to compare it with pastcalamity,--not with our disappointed wishes.'

  'Calamity!' repeated she with vivacity, 'ah! if once I reach thatshore,--that blessed shore! shall I have a sorrow left?'

  'The belief that you will not,' said he, smiling, 'will almost sufficefor your security, since, certainly, half our afflictions are thosewhich we suffer through anticipation.'

  There was time for nothing more; the near approach to land seeming tofill every bosom, for the instant, with sensations equallyenthusiastic.