The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)

by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER XI

  The hope of meeting with more consideration in the family, inspiritedEllis with a wish, hitherto unfelt, of contributing to the purposedentertainment. The part which she had been obliged to undertake, was tooprominent to be placed in the back ground; and the whole performancemust be flat, if not ridiculous, unless Lady Townly were a principalperson. She read over, therefore, repeated, and studied the character,with an attention more alive to its meaning, style, and diversities; andthe desire which animated all that she attempted, of doing with her bestmeans whatever unavoidably must be done, determined her to let no effortin her power be wanting, to enliven the representation.

  The lateness of this resolution, made her application for itsaccomplishment so completely fill up her time, that not a momentremained for those fears of self-deficiency, with which diffidence andtimidity enervate the faculties, and often, in sensitive minds, rob themof the powers of exertion.

  When the hour of exhibition approached, and she was summoned to theapartment destined for the green-room, universal astonishment wasproduced by her appearance. It was not from her dress; they had seen,and already knew it to be fanciful and fashionable; nor was it theheightened beauty which her decorations displayed; this, as she wastruly lovely, was an effect that they expected: but it was from the easewith which she wore her ornaments, the grace with which she set themoff, the elegance of her deportment, and an air of dignified modesty,that spoke her not only accustomed to such attire, but also to the goodbreeding and refined manners, which announce the habits of life to havebeen formed in the superior classes of society.

  Selina, as she opened the door, exultingly called out, 'Look! look! onlylook at Ellis! did you ever see any thing in the world so beautiful?'

  Ireton, to whom dress, far more than feature or complexion, presentedattraction, exclaimed, 'By my soul, she's as handsome as an angel!'

  Elinor, thus excited, came forward; but seemed struck speechless.

  They now all flocked around her; and Mrs Maple, staring, cried, 'Why whodid you get to put your things on for you?' when suddenly recollectingthe new account which she had herself given, and caused to be spread ofthis young person, she forced a laugh, and added, 'Bless me, Miss Ellis,if I had not quite forgotten whom I was speaking to! Why should not MissEllis know how to dress herself as well as any other young lady?'

  'Why, indeed,' said Miss Bydel, 'it makes a prodigious change, a younglady's turning out a young lady, instead of a common young woman. I'veseen a good many of the Ellis's. Pray, Ma'am, does your part of thefamily come from Yorkshire? or Devonshire? for I should like to know.'

  'And, if there were any gentlemen of your family, with you, Ma'am, inforeign parts,' said Mr Scope, 'I should be glad to have their opinionof this Convention, now set up in France: for as to ladies, though theyare certainly very pleasing, they are but indifferent judges in thepolitical line, not having, ordinarily, heads of that sort. I speakwithout offence, inferiority of understanding being no defect in afemale.'

  'Well, I thought from the first,' said young Gooch, 'and I said it tosisters, that the young lady was a young lady, by her travelling, andthat. But pray, Ma'am, did you ever look on, to see that Mr Robert Speermow down his hundreds, like to grass in a hay-field? We should not muchlike it if they were to do so in England. But the French have no spirit.They are but a poor set; except their generals, or the like of that.And, for them, they'll fight you like so many lions. They are afraid ofnobody.'

  'By what I hear, Ma'am,' said Mr Stubbs, 'a gentleman, in that country,may have rents due to the value of thousands, and hardly receive a frog,as one may say, an acre.'

  While thus her fellow-performers surrounded the Incognita, Harleigh,alone, held back, absorbed in contemplating the fine form, which aremarkably light and pretty robe, now first displayed; and the beautifulfeatures, and animated complexion, which were set off to their utmostlustre, by the waving feathers, and artificial flowers, which were woveninto her soft, glossy, luxuriant brown hair. But though he forboreoffering her any compliments, he no sooner observed that she was seizedwith a sudden panic, upon a servant's announcing, that the expectedaudience, consisting of some of the principal families of Sussex, wasarrived, than he addressed, and endeavoured to encourage her.

  'I am aware, Sir,' she said, 'that it may seem rather like vanity thandiffidence, for one situated as I am to feel any alarm; for as I canhave raised no expectations, what have I to fear from giving anydisappointment? Nevertheless, now the time is come, the attempt growsformidable. It must seem so strange--so wond'rous strange,--to those whoknow not how little my choice has been consulted--'

  She was interrupted, for all was ready; and Harleigh was summoned toopen the piece, by the famous question, 'Why did I marry?'

  The fright which now had found its way into the mind of the new LadyTownly, augmented every moment till she appeared; and it was then sogreat, as nearly to make her forget her part, and occasion what,hesitatingly, she was able to utter, to be hardly audible, even to herfellow-performers. The applause excited by her beauty, figure, anddress, only added to her embarrassment. She with difficulty kept to herpost, and finished her first scene with complete self-discontent.Elinor, who watched her throughout it, lost all admiration of herexterior attractions, from contempt of her feeble performance.

  But her second scene exhibited her in another point of view; herself-displeasure worked her up to exertions that brought forth thehappiest effects; and her evident success produced ease, by inspiringcourage. From this time, her performance acquired a wholly newcharacter: it seemed the essence of gay intelligence, of well bredanimation, and of lively variety. The grace of her motions made not onlyevery step but every turn of her head remarkable. Her voice modulatedinto all the changes that vivacity, carelesness, pride, pleasure,indifference, or alarm demanded. Every feature of her face spoke herdiscrimination of every word; while the spirit which gave a charm to thewhole, was chastened by a taste the most correct; and while thoughmodest she was never awkward; though frightened, never ungraceful.

  A performance such as this, in a person young, beautiful, and whollynew, created a surprize so powerful, and a delight so unexpected, thatthe play seemed soon to have no other object than Lady Townly, and theaudience to think that no other were worth hearing or beholding; forthough the politeness exacted by a private representation, secured toevery one an apparent attention, all seemed vapid and without merit inwhich she was not concerned; while all wore an air of interest in whichshe bore the smallest part; and she soon never spoke, looked, nor moved,but to excite pleasure, admiration, and applause, amounting to rapture.

  Whether this excellence were the result of practice and instruction, ora sudden emanation of general genius, accidentally directed to aparticular point, was disputed by the critics amongst the audience; anddisputed, as usual, with the greater vehemence, from the impossibilityof obtaining documents to decide, or direct opinion. But that which wasregarded as the highest refinement of her acting, was a certain air ofinquietude, which was discernible through the utmost gaiety of herexertions, and which, with the occasional absence and sadness, that hadtheir source in her own disturbance, was attributed to deep researchinto the latent subjects of uneasiness belonging to the situation ofLady Townly. This, however, was nature, which would not be repressed;not art, that strove to be displayed.

  But no pleasure excited by her various powers, approached to thepleasure which they bestowed upon Harleigh, who could look at, couldlisten to her alone. To himself, he lost all power of doing justice;wrapt up in the contemplation of an object thus singular, thusexcelling, thus mysterious, all ambition to personally shining wasforgotten. He could not fail to speak his part with sense and feeling;he could not help appearing fashioned to represent a man of rank andunderstanding; but that address which gives life and meaning to everyphrase; that ingenuity, which beguiles the audience into an illusion,which, for the current moment, inspires the sympathy due to reality;that skill which brings forth on the very instant,
all the effect which,to the closet reader, an author can hope to produce from reflection;these, the attributes of good acting, and for which his taste, hisspirit, and his judgment all fitted him, were now, from slackenedself-attention, beyond his reach, though within his powers. At a publictheatre, such an actress might have proved a spur to have urged theexertions of competition; in this private one, where success, except tovanity, was unimportant, her merit was, to Harleigh, an absorbent thatoccupied, exclusively, all his faculties.

  In the last act, where Lady Townly becomes serious, penitent, andpathetic, the new actress appeared to yet greater advantage: the stateof her mind accorded with distress, and her fine speaking eyes, hersoftly touching voice, her dejected air, and penetrating countenance,made quicker passage to the feelings of her auditors, even than thewords of the author. All were moved, tears were shed from almost everyeye, and Harleigh, affected and enchanted, at the moment of thepeace-making, took her hand with so much eagerness, and pressed it tohis lips with so much pleasure, that the rouge, put on for the occasion,was paler than the blushes which burnt through it on her cheeks. He sawthis, and, checking his admiration, relinquished with respect the handwhich he had taken nearly with rapture.

  When the play was over, and the loudest applause had marked itssuccessful representation, the company arose to pay their compliments toMrs Maple. Lady Townly, then, followed by every eyes, was escaping frombearing her share in the bursts of general approbation; when a youth ofthe most engaging appearance, and evidently of high fashion, sprang overthe forms, to impede her retreat; and to pour forth the highestencomiums upon her performance, in well-bred, though enthusiasticlanguage, with all the eager vivacity of early youth, which looks uponmoderation as insipidity, and measured commendation as want of feeling.

  Though confused by being detained, Ellis could not be angry, for therewas no impertinence in his fervour, no familiarity in his panegyric; andthough his speech was rapid, his manners were gentle. His eulogy wasfree from any presumption of being uttered for her gratification; itseemed simply the uncontrollable ebullition of ingenuous gratitude.

  Surprised still more than all around her, at the pleasure which shefound she had communicated, some share of it now stole insensibly intoher own bosom; and this was by no means lessened, by seeing her youthfulnew admirer soon followed by a lady still younger than himself, whocalled out, 'Do you think, brother, to monopolize Miss Ellis?' And, withequal delight, and nearly equal ardour, she joined in theacknowledgements made by her brother, for the entertainment which theyhad received; and both united in declaring that they should never endureto see or hear any other Lady Townly.

  There was a charm, for there seemed a sincerity in this youthful tributeof admiration, that was highly gratifying to the new actress; andHarleigh thought he read in her countenance, the soothing reliefexperienced by a delicate mind, from meeting with politeness andcourtesie, after a long endurance of indignity or neglect.

  Almost everybody among the audience, one by one, joined this little set,all eager to take a nearer view of the lovely Lady Townly, and availingthemselves of the opportunity afforded by this season of compliment, forexamining more narrowly whom it was that they addressed.

  Mrs Maple, meanwhile, suffered the utmost perplexity: far fromforeseeing an admiration which thus bore down all before it, she hadconceived that, the piece once finished, the actress would vanish, andbe thought of no more: nor was she without hope, in her utter disdain ofthe stranger, that the part thus given merely by necessity, would be soill represented, as to disgust her niece from any such frolics infuture. But when, on the contrary, she found that there was but onevoice in favour of this unknown performer; when not all her own pride,nor all her prejudice, could make her blind to that performer's trulyelevated carriage and appearance; when every auditor flocked to her,with 'Who is this charming Miss Ellis?'--'Present us to thisincomparable Miss Ellis;' she felt covered with shame and regret; thoughcompelled, for her own credit, to continue repeating, that she was ayoung lady of family who had passed over with her from the Continent.

  Provoked, however, she now followed the crowd, meaning to give a hint tothe Incognita to retire; but she had the mortification of hearing hergallant new enthusiast pressing for her hand, in a cotillon, which theywere preparing to dance; and though the stranger gently, yet steadily,was declining his proposition, Mrs Maple was so much frightened andirritated that such a choice should be in her power, that she called outimpatiently, 'My Lord, we must have some refreshments before the dance.Do pray, Lady Aurora Granville, beg Lord Melbury to come this way, andtake something.'

  The young lord and lady, with civil but cold thanks, that spoke theirdislike of this interference, both desired to be excused; but great wastheir concern, and universal, throughout the apartment, was theconsternation, upon observing Miss Ellis change colour, and sink upon achair, almost fainting. Harleigh, who had strongly marked the grace anddignity with which she had received so much praise, now cast a glance ofthe keenest indignation at Mrs Maple, attributing to her rudeinterruption of the little civilities so evidently softening to thestranger, this sudden indisposition; but Mrs Maple either saw it not, ordid not understand it, and seized, with speed, the opportunity ofsaying, that Miss Ellis was exhausted by so much acting, and of desiringthat some of the maids might help her to her chamber.

  Elinor stood suspended, looking not at her, but at Harleigh. Every oneelse came forward with inquiry, fans, or sweet-scented vials; but Ellis,a little reviving, accepted the salts of Lady Aurora Granville, and,leaning against her waist, which her arm involuntarily encircled,breathed hard and shed a torrent of tears.

  'Why don't the maids come?' cried Mrs Maple. 'Selina, my dear, do callthem. Lady Aurora, I am quite ashamed.--Miss Ellis, what are youthinking of, to lean so against Her Ladyship? Pray, Mr Ireton, call themaids for me.'

  'Call no one, I beg!' cried Lady Aurora: 'Why should I not have thepleasure of assisting Miss Ellis?' And, bending down, she tried betterto accommodate herself to the ease and relief of her new acquaintance,who appeared the more deeply sensible of her kindness, from theungenerous displeasure which it evidently excited in Mrs Maple. Andwhen, in some degree recovered, she rose to go, she returned her thanksto Lady Aurora with so touching a softness, with tearful eyes, and in avoice so plaintive, that Lady Aurora, affected by her manner, andcharmed by her merit, desired still to support her, and, entreating thatshe would hold by her arm, begged permission of Mrs Maple to accompanyMiss Ellis to her chamber.

  Mrs Maple recollecting, with the utmost confusion, the small andordinary room allotted for Ellis, so unlike what she would have bestowedupon such a young lady as she now described for her fellow-voyager,found no resource against exposing it to Lady Aurora, but that ofdetaining the object of her compassionate admiration; she stammered,therefore, out, that as Miss Ellis seemed so much better, there could beno reason why she should not stay below, and see the dance.

  Ellis gladly courtsied her consent; and the watchful Harleigh, in thealacrity of her acceptance, rejoiced to see a revival to the sentimentsof pleasure, which the acrimonious grossness of Mrs Maple hadinterrupted.

  Lord Melbury now took the hand of Selina, and Harleigh that of LadyAurora. Elinor would not dance, but, seating herself, fixed her eyesupon Harleigh, whose own were almost perpetually wandering to watchthose of his dramatic consort.

  Since the first scene, in which the stranger had so ill entered into thespirit of Lady Townly's character, Elinor had ceased to deem her worthyof observation; and, giving herself up wholly to her own part, had notwitnessed the gradations of the improvements of Ellis, her risingexcellence, nor her final perfection. In her own representation of LadyWronghead, she piqued herself upon producing new effects, and had thetriumph, by her cleverness and eccentricities, her grotesque attitudesand attire, and an unexpected and burlesque manner of acting, to bringthe part into a consequence of which it had never appeared susceptible.Happy in the surprise and diversion she occasioned, and constantlyoccupied how to
augment it, she only learnt the high success of LadyTownly, by the bursts of applause, and the unbounded admiration andastonishment, which broke forth from nearly every mouth, the instantthat the audience and the performers were united. Amazed, she turned toHarleigh, to examine the merits of such praise; but Harleigh, no longersilent, cautious, or cold, was himself one of the 'admiring throng,' andso openly, and with an air of so much pleasure, that she could not catchhis attention for any critical discussion.

  After two country dances, and two cotillons, the short ball was brokenup, and Lady Aurora hastened to seat herself by Miss Ellis, and LordMelbury to stand before and to converse with her, followed by all theyouthful part of the company, to whom she seemed the sovereign of alittle court which came to pay her homage. Harleigh grew every instantmore enchanted; for as she discoursed with her two fervent new admirers,her countenance brightened into an animation so radiant, her eyes becameso lustrous, and smiles of so much sweetness and pleasure embellishedevery feature, that he almost fancied he saw her now for the first time,though her welfare, or her distresses, had for more than a month chieflyoccupied his mind. Who art thou? thought he, as incessantly hecontemplated her; where hast thou thus been formed? And for what artthou designed?

  Supper being now announced, Mrs Maple commissioned Harleigh to lead LadyAurora down stairs, adding, with a forced smile of civility, that MissEllis must consult her health in retiring.

  'Yes, Ma'am; and Miss Ellis knows,' cried Lady Aurora, offering her arm,'who is to be her chevalier.'

  Again embarrassed, Mrs Maple saw no resource against exposing her shabbychamber, but that of admitting its occupier to the supper table. Shehastily, therefore, asked whether Miss Ellis thought herself well enoughto sit up a little longer; adding, 'For my part, I think it will do yougood.'

  'The greatest!' cried Ellis, with a look of delight; and, to thespeechless consternation of Mrs Maple, Lord Melbury, calling her theQueen of the night, took her hand, to conduct her to the supper-room.Ellis would have declined this distinction, but that the vivacity of herardent new friend, precipitated her to the staircase, ere she was awarethat she was the first to lead the way thither. Gaily, then, he wouldhave placed her in the seat of honour, as Lady President of the evening;but, more now upon her guard, she insisted upon standing till thevisitors should be arranged, as she was herself a resident in the house.

  Lord Melbury, however, quitted her not, and would talk to no one else;and finding that his seat was destined to be next to that of Mrs Maple,who called him to her side, he said, that he never supped, and wouldtherefore wait upon the ladies; and, drawing a chair behind that ofEllis, he devoted himself to conversing with her, upon her part, uponthe whole play, and upon dramatic works, French and English, in general,with the eagerness with which such subjects warm the imagination ofyouth, and with a pleasure which made him monopolize her attention.

  Harleigh listened to every word to which Ellis listened, or to which sheanswered; and scarcely knew whether most to admire her good sense, herintelligent quickness, her elegant language, or the meaning eyes, andvaried smiles which spoke before she spoke, and shewed her entireconception of all to which she attended.

  No one now could address her; she was completely engrossed by the youngnobleman, who allowed her not time to turn from him a moment.

  Such honours shewn to a pauper, a stroller, a vagabond; and all in thepresent instance, from her own unfortunate contrivance, Mrs Mapleconsidered as a personal disgrace; a sensation which was three-foldencreased when the party broke up, and Lady Aurora, taking the chair ofher brother, rallied him upon the envy which his situation had excited;while, in the most engaging manner, she hoped, during her sojourn atBrighthelmstone, to have frequently the good fortune of taking herrevenge. Then, joining in their conversation, she became so pleased, sointerested, so happy, that twice Mrs Howel, the lady under whose careshe had been brought to Lewes, reminded Her Ladyship that the horseswere waiting in the cold, before she could prevail upon herself todepart. And, even then, that lady was forced to take her gently by thearm, to prevent her from renewing the conversation which she mostunwillingly finished. 'Pardon me, dear Madam,' said Lady Aurora; 'I amquite ashamed; but I hope, while I am so happy as to be with you, thatyou will yourself conceive a fellow feeling, how difficult it is to tearone's self away from Miss Ellis.'

  'What honour Your Ladyship does me!' cried Ellis, her eyes glistening:'and Oh!--how happy you have made me!'--

  'How kind you are to say so!' returned Lady Aurora, taking her hand.

  She felt a tear drop upon her own from the bent-down eyes of Ellis.

  Startled, and astonished, she hoped that Miss Ellis was not againindisposed?

  Smilingly, yet in a voice that denoted extreme agitation, 'Lady Auroraalone,' she answered, 'can be surprised that so much goodness--sounlooked for--so unexpected--should be touching!'

  'O Mrs Maple,' cried Lady Aurora, in taking leave of that lady, 'what asweet creature is this Miss Ellis!'

  'Such talents and a sensibility so attractive,' said Lord Melbury,'never met before!'

  Ellis heard them, and with a pleasure that seemed exquisite, yet thatdied away the moment that they disappeared. All then crowded round her,who had hitherto abstained; but she drooped; tears flowed fast down hercheeks; she courtsied the acknowledgements which she could not pronounceto her complimenters and enquirers, and mounted to her chamber.

  Mrs Maple concluded her already so spoiled, by the praises of LordMelbury and Lady Aurora Granville, that she held herself superior to allother; and the company in general imbibed the same notion. Many disdain,or affect to disdain, the notice of people of rank for themselves, butall are jealous of it for others.

  Not such was the opinion of Harleigh; her pleasure in their societyseemed to him no more than renovation to feelings of happier days. Who,who, thought he again, can'st thou be? And why, thus evidentlyaccustomed to grace society, why art thou thus strangely alone--thusfriendless--thus desolate--thus mysterious?