The Lover

by E. L. Todd

  My body turned rigid with the unexpected declaration. He said the most romantic thing, something a rugged man like him had been incapable of feeling. Cold and detached, he was the last man I expected to say such heartfelt things. It was a dream come true, to have this perfect man love me. It made all my past heartache worth it. I suffered so much, but I was now rewarded a million times over. “I love you too…” The air left my lungs in the form of relief, feeling so comfortable getting that secret off my chest. My eyes coated with a thin layer of film because the tears were uncontrollable. I loved him with all my heart, and it felt so good to say it out loud. “When I watched you leave with Layla, it broke my heart. I ran into the rain because I didn’t know where else to go. When Colton came after me, I told him I was so in love with you. I told him I was so shattered by you with Layla that I didn’t care about anything anymore, even telling him the truth. That was why he wasn’t angry with me for being with you…because he saw how hard I’d fallen.”

  Finn stared at me for a long time, his blue eyes combing over the emotional expressions I was making with my eyes and mouth. “You need to forget about Layla. She’s got nothing on you. Yes, she’s beautiful and covered in ink, the kind of woman people assume I would want, but I don’t want her. There’s only one woman who’s ever made me feel something—and she’s standing right in front of me.” His hand cupped my cheek, and his thumb brushed along the curve of my bottom lip. “There’s no other woman who could make me faithful without sex. Once Jax was gone, I had my eyes set on you, and I wasn’t going to stop until I had you. I could have kept sleeping around, but I just didn’t want to. All my interest evaporated like water in a dry riverbed. That lifestyle suddenly felt mundane and exhausting. It was the same bullshit over and over again.” His hands moved to my top, and he pulled it over my head, revealing my bare skin underneath. He tugged off his shirt next, displaying the rock-hard, sculpted physique that made all the women go crazy. “Can we just be two people who love each other? With no tomorrow and no yesterday?”

  I could fight for the future I wanted, but Finn had already given me plenty to work with. I was still young, so I had years to waste on a man, even if it didn’t go anywhere. And if it was going to go somewhere, he had ample time to come to that decision on his own. “Yes…”

  We got the rest of our clothes off then made our way into my bedroom. I lay back on the sheets, and Finn moved on top of me, his thighs separating mine as he prepared to take me. He hadn’t even kissed me yet, saving it until he was ready. His eyes lingered over the necklace around my neck, the chain that rested in between my tits. “Looks a lot better on you than it ever did on me.”

  “I don’t agree with that.” I loved feeling that metal drag against my skin as he moved on top of me, the steel making my skin prickle because of the history it contained. My fingers started at his chiseled stomach then slowly moved up the grooves until I reached his hard chest. My fingers felt the warmth of his skin, brushed against the artwork all over his body.

  He studied my expression as his dick slowly pressed inside me. He squeezed between my lips and forced me wide apart as he made his slow entrance. His crown came into contact with my moisture, and he groaned quietly from deep in the back of his throat. Slowly, he sank farther inside, moving through the slickness as he laid siege to the land he already conquered so many times.

  My hands held on to his biceps as I felt him enter me so deeply. I released a shaky breath, feeling my body obey his command to stretch as far as I could. As if it were the first time we were together, we took our time and savored every second.

  When he was deep inside me, he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me.

  I drew in a harsh breath when I felt his lips. Showered with love, I felt like the only woman who mattered. I was the only one to have him this intimately, skin-on-skin. I was the only woman he ever loved, the only woman who made him so committed. It made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, a woman Layla could never possibly compete with.

  He moved inside me as he kept kissing me, making love to me with slow thrusts. He cared more about the movements of our lips than the thrust of our bodies. Every time he moved inside me, he pushed himself as deep as he could go. “I love you, baby.”

  My arms wrapped around his neck, and I pulled him tightly against me, feeling myself slip away even further. Just when I thought I couldn’t love him more, I did. He blanketed me with his beautiful affection, made my toes curl for a whole new reason. “I love you too.”

  9

  Colton

  Pepper burst into my apartment the following morning without knocking. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.” She shut it hard behind herself then marched to the dining table where I was sitting and enjoying breakfast.

  I was about to drink my coffee, but I slowly lowered it back to the surface instead. “What did I do now?”

  She strode to the table and looked down at me, two conflicting emotions on her face. She smiled like she was the happiest person in the world, but her eyes were also narrowed like she wanted to slap me upside the head. “You told Finn that I was in love with him? What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Uh…I thought he already knew.”

  “You can’t just make assumptions like that. I told you that in confidence.”

  “Everything you say to me is in confidence, you know that. But I just assumed you guys were at that level already. You know I wouldn’t betray your trust on purpose.”

  “I know. I’m kinda stuck in the middle between being mad at you and being happy with you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Okay, now I’m lost.”

  “When you told Finn all that stuff, it freaked him out a little, so he ignored me for a few days. When he finally confronted me, he told me what you said and said he wasn’t ready for something serious. Marriage and kids freak him out. But he also told me he loved me…and that wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t scared him. So I’m happy with you but also pissed at you.”

  “In that case…I’m sorry and you’re welcome.”

  She poured herself a mug of coffee then sat down. “Thank you and I forgive you.” She added sugar into the black coffee and took a drink.

  “So, are we good, then?”

  She shrugged. “I guess.” When the conversation was finished, her smile emerged, like the sun breaking through the clouds. “I understand Finn is nomadic and settling down forever scares him, but I’m just happy we made it to this point in our relationship. I honestly thought he would never love me.”

  “I think it’s obvious that he does. What else would that necklace mean?” I knew I was really over the situation with my brother when I could have this conversation without feeling my blood pressure spike. There was no anger or resentment on my part. Now it seemed like she was talking about any guy.

  “I just wasn’t expecting him to be so blunt about it. I thought he might feel something for me, but I never expected him to admit it.”

  “He’s an honest guy.”

  “I guess so.” She drank her coffee again, smiling as she looked into the blackness.

  This was exactly what I wanted, to see Pepper happy and in love. I wanted her to have everything she deserved, a good man who treated her right. Finn was the last person I’d expected to fill that role, but he filled it well. “I’m happy for you.”

  She lifted her gaze and met mine. “Really?”

  I nodded. “Looks like Finn stepped up. I couldn’t be happier for you.” I’d feared he would break her heart and kick her to the curb, but he ended up being the romantic guy she dreamed about.

  Her eyes softened. “Thank you, Colton. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy.” When she realized what she said, she tried to correct it. “I just mean—”

  “I understand, Pepper. We were really happy, but there was always something missing. I feel that missing link when I’m with Tom. You obviously feel it with Finn. That’s a good thing. We can still have each other in our lives, but we
also have what we really want. I think this is the best thing that ever happened to us.”

  “That’s a good way to put it.”

  “So, you’re okay with Finn saying he doesn’t want to settle down?”

  “He didn’t really say it was off the table. He’s just not in that place right now, which is fine. We’ve only been together a couple months. I’m young, so I have time to waste. Maybe in a few years, he’ll feel differently. Just the fact that he’s in this relationship and saying he loves me is a big step for him. I’m sure he can take that next step in the future…when he’s warmed up to the idea.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right. He just needed to find the right woman to get his shit together.”

  She smiled. “And I guess I’m that woman.”

  Finn and I got a drink after work. He’d worked the morning shift, so he was off at the same time I was. We went to the same bar we always went to, grabbing a booth with a nice view of the TVs.

  The tension had disappeared now that I’d forgiven him, but there was still a hint of awkwardness that would take longer to evaporate. But at least we were talking again, not yelling at each other.

  Finn ordered a beer.

  I raised an eyebrow. “No scotch?”

  He shook his head. “Pepper says I drink too much hard liquor.”

  “I’ve told you the same thing.”

  “Yeah, but she’s the boss in the relationship.”

  “She is?” I asked in surprise, shocked a man like Finn would say that.

  He shrugged. “I let her think she is. Gets me better sex.”

  Finn just mentioned fucking my ex-wife, and I was surprised it didn’t make me throw up in my mouth a little. I knew they were sleeping together almost every night, so maybe I’d become desensitized to the whole thing.

  “Sorry,” he said. “When I have a drink in my hand, I can’t control what I say.”

  “It’s alright. I’m the same way.”

  Layla emerged from the direction of the bar, in denim jeans with a tube top that showed her ink along her arms and chest. She came up from behind Finn, holding a short glass with amber liquid inside. It seemed like she was bringing Finn his favorite drink. “Heads up. Layla is on her way.”

  Finn bowed his head and sighed, his frustration palpable.

  She reached the table and set the glass down. “What is that? Beer?” With one hand on her hip, she posed like a model on the runway, hoping Finn would admire her curves in the skintight clothing.

  I was tempted to throw my beer on her clothes, in defense of Pepper.

  Finn looked up at her, not pasting a fake smile on his lips. He felt annoyed so he looked annoyed. “I’m good with the beer. Now I’ll get back to my conversation. My brother and I are talking about something pretty serious.”

  “Ooh…drama.” She continued to do her best to flirt with Finn, even though he clearly wasn’t interested. “That’s what you need a scotch for—or several. And I could always give you a ride home.”

  Was that her master plan? To get Finn drunk and take advantage of him? If I were a woman, I’d yank her hair out of her scalp.

  Finn wasn’t a patient man, and judging from the hostility in his eyes, he didn’t have a drop of patience left inside him. “Layla, you know I have a girlfriend.”

  Her eyes fell as her perkiness evaporated.

  “And even if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I don’t get involved with coworkers. So you need to drop this act. I’m not interested, and I’ll never be interested. Stop sending me drinks, stop flirting with me, and just give me space. You’re a beautiful woman who should have more self-respect. Don’t throw yourself at a man who clearly doesn’t want you. It’s desperate and pathetic.”

  My eyes looked down into my drink because I suddenly felt awkward, wishing I weren’t there to witness the biggest insult in the world. Finn didn’t put her down gently. He publicly humiliated her and would probably send her to the bathroom where she could cry in the bathroom stall. I clenched my jaw tightly and tried to fade into the background.

  Layla stayed at the table, her eyes burning with hatred at Finn’s dismissal. “Your girlfriend isn’t even that pretty. I don’t know what you see in her.”

  My head slowly turned back to her, like I was gasoline and she was the match. She immediately set me on fire with rage, talking about the woman I loved with so much disrespect. “Bitch, what did you just say?”

  Layla turned to me, seeming to remember I was there.

  “Pepper is the hottest bitch in this place, and you’re nothing but a trashy-ass skank.” I slammed my beer down and caused the contents to spill over the rim. “And any woman who has the audacity to insult another woman like that is nothing but a whore. So get the fuck out of my face before I pour this shit all over you.”

  Layla obviously felt outnumbered because she turned around and walked off.

  I yelled after her. “Don’t come back here. Pepper’s girls will shove your head in the toilet and drown your ass.” I grabbed my beer and took a long drink, wishing she were a dude that I could drag outside and throw in a dumpster. “Dumb bitch…”

  Finn couldn’t restrain the smile that slowly crept over his face. He looked at me with a mix of admiration and humor. “I’ve never heard you talk shit like that.”

  “Neither have I. But she pissed me off.”

  “I’ll say…” He chuckled.

  “Who the hell does she think she is?”

  “A hot piece of ass who’s used to getting whatever she wants.” He pushed the glass of scotch to the side because he obviously had no intention of drinking it. “She probably doesn’t even want me that much. She just hates the fact that she can’t have me.”

  “I doubt it. She seems pretty determined.”

  He shrugged. “That little stunt just made me hate her more.”

  “That sucks you have to work with her.”

  “I don’t care. I just do my job and go home.” He drank from his beer and returned to being relaxed, like a fight hadn’t almost just broken out. “I like the way you defended Pepper. That was sweet.”

  “I’m not letting some ho talk about her like that. Not that pretty?” I rolled my eyes. “Pepper doesn’t need a bunch of tattoos and makeup to be pretty. She could roll out of bed and still turn heads.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. I thought Layla would forget about me when she realized I had a girlfriend. Guess not.”

  “Well, she better forget about you now. Because Stella is gonna break her nose. She works out like every single day, so she’s strong. She’ll beat her unconscious then shave her head.”

  “I have a feeling Pepper wouldn’t want that.”

  I rolled my eyes. “She’s too classy for revenge.”

  “And she already has me. What’s better than that?”

  “In this case, I don’t think that’s enough.”

  We watched TV for a while as the tension slowly dissipated. I was still angry about the whole thing, and until Layla had a black eye, I wouldn’t be satisfied. But as we drank more beer and talked, we slowly started to forget about the ordeal. “So…Pepper told me about that big conversation you had.”

  “I guess I should assume that she’ll tell you everything that happens between us?”

  “Yep.”

  “That’s not weird at all…”

  “Well, she doesn’t share every single detail. The personal stuff stays personal…and I wouldn’t want to know those details anyway.”

  “That’s a relief.”

  “I’m sorry I freaked you out with everything I said about marriage and kids. I assumed that’s where you guys were. Giving her your military dog tags is a pretty big deal…I just assumed.”

  “You should have assumed I loved her, because I do.”

  It was the first time I’d heard him say that, and I wished I’d caught it on camera because I’d assumed Finn would never feel that way about a woman as long as he lived. But the confession rolled off his tongue so easily, lik
e he wasn’t ashamed in the least.

  “But marriage…” He shook his head. “I’m not interested in that right now.”

  “It’s only been a few months.”

  “I have a different philosophy about life. It’s unconventional, so most people don’t agree with it. Marriage seems to be an age-old practice for a man to control a woman, so she can give him children and carry on his legacy. Nowadays, marriage seems important for raising a family. But if there’re no children in the mix, then there’s no reason to be married. Can’t you just be with someone you love and have that be enough?”

  I drank my beer as I considered what he said. “Pepper and I didn’t have children, and we loved being married. Those years were some of the happiest of my life. Marriage isn’t about having a family or owning a woman. It’s when two people love each other and want that to be recognized by the world. It’s different from just living with someone or being in a relationship with someone. It’s a lot more special. You’ve only been in a relationship for a few months, so maybe in a few years you’ll start to broaden your understanding of the different levels of love and commitment.”

  “I don’t know… I like knowing I could still do anything I want in my life. I could return to the army. I could work with Doctors Without Borders. I could literally do anything.”

  “Why couldn’t you do that while being married?”

  He held his beer as he stared at me.

  “Why can’t you have both?” I pressed. “People do it all the time.”

  He shrugged. “Pepper is rooted here because of you and her business.”

  “But she would give it up in a heartbeat if you wanted to relocate.”

  He shook his head slightly. “I don’t believe that.”

  “I do. She would prefer to be close to me, but we both have our own lives. I’ll be married someday with my own family. We can’t always be best friends who live across the hall from each other.”

  He drank his beer then returned the empty bottle to the coaster. “I told her I’m not ready for that kind of commitment so we should stop talking about it.” Once he reached his threshold of thinking about the future, he shut off.