And she’d fallen in love. She wished to hell she hadn’t, but there was nothing she could do but try to ignore the fluttering in her stomach, the warmth in her chest, the voice in her head begging her to tell him how she felt. This wasn’t part of the plan. It wasn’t part of her dream.
She didn’t have time to think about it now. The Salvage Station had to be ready for the reveal first thing tomorrow.
All the Colburn and Sons employees had helped transport and set up the amazing pieces they’d fashioned from salvaged materials. And then Bud actually stopped by and offered to arrange the bottles of booze on the wood and iron shelves that had been installed in front of the mirrored wall behind the bar. Now Rachel had all afternoon to hang the art and fire helmets, arrange the million glasses behind the bar, and stage the whole place with the finishing touches that would wow Beckett and his family—especially Beckett—as well as her viewers.
She was damned proud of the job she’d done on The Salvage Station. She’d gotten to stretch her creative muscles and it felt great. Would it be enough to ensure her show continued? She pushed away the nerves that danced in her stomach.
Everyone had left and she was finally alone. This was one of her favorite parts, when all her work came together and she could see it as she’d envisioned. Putting on the finishing touches was the fun part. Rachel grabbed her water bottle and took a slug. Time to get to work.
She was in the process of hanging one of Anita Colburn’s paintings when her cell phone, which she’d left over on the bar, began to ring. She sighed and propped the painting of docks stretching out into Lake Margaret against the wall, and reached the phone in time to answer the call from Holly.
“Rachel. Rachel. I’m here. Right outside. I’m done shopping with Emmie and her mom. Can you come out? Or can you let me in? I missed you.”
Rachel swallowed. How often had she heard anyone say they missed her? She was always so busy trying to stay on top of the heap that she rarely cultivated relationships with people who couldn’t help her career.
“Rachel? Rachel, did you hear me? The door is locked. I know it’s top secret so could you come out for just a minute? I’m afraid you’re going to go before I can see you again.”
“Are you in the front or the back?”
“Back door.”
Rachel smiled. “Be right there.”
Holly threw her arms around Rachel as soon as she stepped outside. She looked over the young girl’s head to see Emmie and Suzanna Dillon. “Hi. How was shopping?”
“It was so much fun,” Emmie said. Suz grinned indulgently beside her.
Holly stepped back and looked up at Rachel. “I wish you could have come with us but we all knew you were really busy with work. Maybe some other time, okay?”
There were so many feelings bombarding Rachel that she couldn’t even speak for a moment. Holly wished Rachel could have gone shopping with her? “Hey, you want to help me this afternoon?” The words had come out of Rachel’s mouth before it was even a conscious thought.
Her blue eyes widened. “Really? But isn’t it supposed to be a surprise for everybody?”
“Well, if you were my helper you would have to see inside.”
Holly bounced up and down. “Can Emmie help, too?”
Before Rachel could make an excuse, Suz answered Holly. “Sorry, but we have to get home. I’m so glad you could come with us today, though.”
“Why don’t you and Emmie run inside and let your grandma know you’ll be helping me out for a while.”
“Okay!” Holly and Emmie dashed toward Colburn and Sons.
Suz came closer. “That little girl is very attached to you.”
Rachel nodded. “I know. I probably should have sent her in to Donna and gone back to work by myself, but…”
“You’ve gotten attached to her, too.”
She nodded again. “I know it’s not good. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Suz cleared her throat. “I take it you don’t plan on keeping in touch with her father?”
“No.”
“Long-distance relationships are tough. Davis and I couldn’t make it work.”
“But you’re really giving up your job to stay home?” Wasn’t that the same as failing?
Suz chuckled. “Don’t sound so appalled. I’m tired of traveling. I’m tired of seldom seeing my daughter. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t love Davis. It was a pretty easy decision once I admitted those truths to myself.”
There was no time to continue the conversation. Holly and Emmie dashed out of the showroom. “I’m ready to help.”
They said goodbye to Suz and Emmie, and Holly followed Rachel inside.
“It looks amazing!”
“Wait until we get done with our work today.”
“What do we have to do?”
“Put the icing on the cake.”
Holly tilted her head. “What cake?”
“The bar is the cake. It looks great, but it’s a little plain. It needs some icing.”
“Oh, to make it pretty.”
“And give it that wow factor. So we’re going to hang things on the wall and put candles on the tables. Set out these cool napkins with the new Salvage Station logo on the bar and the tables. And then arrange the glassware. There’s still a lot to do. I’m so glad you’re here, because I can really use another pair of hands.”
Holly beamed up at her. “I’m so glad I’m here, too.”
Rachel blinked and grabbed the painting she’d been ready to hang not long ago. She loved this little girl as much as her father. How could she have let this happen? Beckett had warned her he didn’t want Holly bonding with someone who was going to leave. Rachel had never thought she would be the one bonding.
I could have it all.
That little voice whispered the tempting words in her head. Look at Katie. Look at Suz. Look at what—at who—she’d be leaving behind.
But she’d be leaving behind her career if she stayed in Lakeside with Beckett and Holly, because it took everything she had right now to stay at the top of her game. She’d never be able to convince the network that she could keep her ratings up if she shifted even a small percentage of her focus away from The Rachel Touch.
And she’d never expect Beckett and Holly to be content with only a small percentage of her focus. They deserved 100 percent.
And there was the problem.
“What can I do?” Holly asked eagerly.
Rachel mentally shook her head and got rid of those wishful thoughts. She would enjoy her time with Holly and her father, and then say a cheerful goodbye, grateful she’d been able to let go of her hatred of Beckett and all things Lakeside.
Now to get to work. “See that big blue tote over there?” Holly nodded. “There are glass and metal candleholders and flameless candles in there. Could you wipe down the holders with that towel, then put a pillar in each one and set them out on the tables?”
Her eyes lit up. “Right away.”
Holly chattered away as she worked, telling Rachel what she did in Hershey and about the shopping trip she went on that morning. Rachel listened as she worked, all the while telling herself that she didn’t want that kind of life. She wouldn’t know what to do with a kid. She’d probably screw up her life like her parents did to her.
Still, the time went much faster with Holly’s help and her happy chatter. When all of the other work was done, Rachel pointed her to the bar.
“Okay, grab a couple of those cotton dish towels at the end of the bar.” She’d ordered the bar towels with the same logo as on the napkins and the menus and the sign that would go up out front first thing in the morning. “Now we really get to work.”
Holly grabbed the towels and followed Rachel behind the bar. “Holy pepperoni, that’s a lot of glasses!”
…
She knew
she should call Beckett to cancel the boat ride. After spending a wonderful afternoon with Holly, the best thing to do was stay far away from both Colburns until morning. But she couldn’t bear to hole up in her room at the inn. Knitting held no appeal tonight. Who knew when she’d get another chance to go out on the lake? Besides, they had to get past the awkwardness of the last day or two before she left tomorrow. They had an important shoot first thing in the morning, and they had to act as if everything was still great between them. And she’d hate to leave him with them both being angry.
The salvage job Beckett had been working on ran longer than he’d expected, according to the text she received, so she relaxed on a bench by the water to wait for him. A pleasant breeze lifted the ends of her hair. Rachel closed her eyes against the bright sun that seemed to shine into all the shadows lurking inside her. How had this happened? How could she have fallen for a little girl and her father?
The thought of getting on a plane bound for her next project shouldn’t make her eyes prickle with unshed tears, she should be giving a sigh of relief. She’d made her choice a long time ago and there was no going back now. But why did she keep feeling Holly’s arms flung around her? And the taste of firm lips and the brush of soft beard? She didn’t want to crave those sensations.
Who would she be if she wasn’t the Rachel Bradford? She’d be nothing but a failed TV designer. A has-been whose show was cancelled. She would have lost her dream and spent the rest of her life either grasping at wisps of vague alternatives or looking back on her past as the best time of her life while everyone, including her parents, felt sorry for her.
She couldn’t spend the evening with Beckett. How had she ever thought that was a good idea? But as she stood and turned to run back to her car, Beckett’s Jeep pulled in and parked next to her rental.
“What’s the matter?” He jumped out of the vehicle and stopped her before she could reach the car door.
I want to hold you, kiss you, keep you. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m exhausted.”
“Come on.” He put his arm around her shoulders like she was his buddy and led her down the dock. She couldn’t make herself pull away. “A short ride. Blow the dirt off your skin, Pop used to say. Blow the worries out of your head.”
It did sound nice but there was no way anything would blow him out of her head. “Okay, but just a short one. It was a long day.”
“You got it.”
He helped her onto the boat, and memories of their night on the Happy Holly bombarded her. Right there they’d stretched out beside each other to gaze at the stars. Right down those steps is where they made love for the first time.
Once they were on their way, he turned to her with a mischievous grin. “So, how did it go with the bar today?”
“It’s ready for the reveal. Holly even gave her stamp of approval.”
Beckett immediately pulled the boat into the nearest cove and cut the power. “What?”
She hopped up from the padded seat, the boat rocking only a little with the gentle waves. “Don’t worry, I’d never let the rest of your family see it before you. I enlisted Holly for help this afternoon to make up for her missing out while she was in Hershey. She pitched in like a trooper.”
“I bet she loved that.” He rubbed his hands together in an exaggerated gesture, like some evil villain. “Now I know who to torture for the answers.”
She laughed but pretended to be horrified. “You can’t torture a little girl.”
“Sure I can. All I have to do is take away her cell phone. She’ll tell me everything I want to know.”
“Or you can wait a few hours and all will be revealed.”
He locked his rich gaze on hers. “Honestly, I’m in no rush. Because after the reveal, you and your crew pack up and you’ll be gone.”
“Beckett…”
“Truth or Dare?”
Not again. “Beckett…”
“Come on. Truth or Dare?”
She swallowed. She couldn’t risk him asking how she felt about him. “Dare.”
“Kiss me.”
“No.”
“One last time, Rachel.” His gaze was intense now. “Kiss me goodbye.”
She landed in his lap with her legs around his hips. She cupped his face, his beard soft on her hands. She should have given his lips a small brush. But by that time it was all she could do not to devour him. She drank from him, savoring his taste. That taste, the unique Beckett-taste that she would miss for the rest of her life.
When she pulled back, he caught her gaze. “We could have been good together.”
She didn’t want to hear it because she was afraid he was right. Too late now. It triggered her memory of the story Mia and Ginny told her. “Why didn’t you tell me you disappeared from Lakeside for years?”
Beckett lifted her off his lap. She returned to her seat so she could be a safe space away from him. He scrubbed a big hand over his face before he spoke. “You told me our fight in the fire station that night was what made you leave town and never return. Do you think you were the only one to be affected by that shit we were shouting at each other? You hit me with that dig about how I’d be working for my parents for the rest of my life. That I’d never get out of Lakeside. And I realized you were right.
“My first semester at community college was pointless. I couldn’t stop thinking about being stuck in Lakeside and never seeing the rest of the world. So one day I packed up and left.”
“Did you even talk to your family? From the stories I heard, you suddenly disappeared. No one knew where you were.” She knew it wasn’t fair, Ginny had said he talked to his parents, but she couldn’t hold back all the angry accusations that had been running around her brain.
“Just because random people didn’t know where I went doesn’t mean I ghosted my family.” His eyes were shadowed and his voice caught. “But yeah, I stopped calling cuz Mom would cry. So it was mostly by text. To let her know I was safe.” His hands were clasped on his lap and he leaned forward, like he was hurting. “I was afraid if I heard her voice again, I’d go back home. I couldn’t risk it. I had to prove you wrong.”
The breath left her lungs. “Are you blaming me?”
“No. No, there’s no blame. I’m glad you gave me the push. I am sorry I didn’t keep in touch with my family. It made sense to the stupid kid I used to be, trying to do it all on my own. And I’m still paying for it, even though that’s not who I am anymore. I’m not sure my family has completely trusted me since. Maybe they think I’m going to run off again.”
“Where did you go?”
“Traveled around the eastern U.S. Picked up odd jobs here and there, but then I stopped into a corner bar in a little town in Georgia. They were looking for a dishwasher, but I got to be friends with the owner, and before long he taught me everything I needed to know about bartending. From there I moved to Florida for a while. Then I ended up managing a bar in North Carolina.”
She’d lucked into her first job with the Home Improvement Network right out of college. “That’s where you met Holly’s mother?”
“Yeah. Crystal was fun and she didn’t want a commitment any more than I did.”
A baby was certainly a commitment. “You decided to come back to Lakeside after Holly was born?”
“I needed help. I needed family.” He swallowed. “I needed home.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“I’d never been so scared in my life. Here was this tiny person depending on me for everything.” He closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was looking back in time. Then he opened them and leveled his gaze. “I couldn’t raise her on my own. Maybe some people could, but I knew I couldn’t. I quit my job, packed everything up, and drove ten hours, stopping only to feed and change the baby, until I pulled into the parking lot.” He chuckled sadly. “I was exhausted. Holly was crying. Mom took o
ne look at us and started crying, too. I don’t know what I would have done without her.”
Rachel imagined the scenario. What if she’d had a baby and came home for help? After a sound scolding about what the neighbors would think, her mother would have hired a nanny. She’d never have dropped all her charity boards to feed and change a newborn so Rachel could work.
She knew it wasn’t fair to compare their families all the time. But it was difficult not to. “Your girlfriend didn’t have any family to help?’
Beck shook his head. “She was an only child, and her parents were gone. Looking back, I think she was desperate to make her own family. We’d been dating for about a year when she admitted she’d ‘forgotten’ to take her birth control pills for the past few months.” He put air quotes around forgotten.
“Oh, wow.”
“I took responsibility. Asked if she wanted to get married, but she didn’t. It took me a while to get used to the idea of a baby. Hell, I’d had no idea she’d even wanted a child, but I was excited by the time she was due. I scoured the secondhand stores for baby furniture and fixed them up with skills I’d learned at Colburn and Sons. We had the nursery all set up and then a week before her due date Crystal told me she was leaving me.”
“What?”
“Turns out she just wanted a baby. She didn’t want me.” He came over to sit beside her. “I don’t want it to sound like self-pity. I’m over it now, but at the time it was devastating. She went into labor that night. And then she was dead.”
“Oh, Beckett.”
“And then I was home,” he added. “I’m glad I traveled around, glad I had the chance to work outside the family business, but none of those places ever felt like home.” He took her hands. “I’m glad you gave me the push to leave Lakeside because if I hadn’t, I never would have known.”
“Known what?”
The Goodbye Guy (The Men of Lakeside) Page 22
