“That I belong here. I would have always wondered if there was something better for me out there. Doesn’t mean I don’t want something more than being muscle in the family business, though.”
Rachel winced when he used the word she’d thrown at him that night.
Beck went on. “I got years of experience running a neighborhood bar and I was good at it. I’ve been planning this move for the past nine years. I’m finally there. It’s so close I can taste it. And you’re here to help me again. What does that say?”
She grinned. “That we get up in each other’s business?”
“That’s one way of looking at it. I used to think we brought out the worst in each other, but now I think it’s the other way around. We bring out the best in each other.”
She held back a shaky gasp. “Do you think so?”
“I do.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
…
Beck didn’t get why she was even asking about it. It pissed him off that she acted like he’d kept it from her on purpose, so he snapped when he shouldn’t have. “Why would I spill all my history to you? We don’t have a real relationship, right? You constantly tell me you’re leaving.” He sighed. “Sorry. It happened a long time ago. Didn’t seem to be much point in bringing it all up.”
“But I was bound to hear about it. Gossip spreads in Lakeside, especially when people can actually get on TV if they have a story to tell.”
“I’m not used to looking at life like that,” he said. “My life has never been part of a publicity campaign. I told you what happened at that bar I worked at. I’ve never wanted my life to be gossip fodder. And I don’t like it.”
“Good thing I’m leaving then.”
“No. It’s not good.” He almost blurted out those three little words, but he knew she wouldn’t want to hear them. “What are you afraid of?”
She backed away from him. “My leaving has nothing to do with fear.”
“I think it has everything to do with fear.”
“What were you running away from when you quit school and disappeared?”
He clenched his jaw. “I told you why I left.”
“And I told you why I’m leaving.”
He’d no doubt piss her off, but he was going to say it anyway. “Coming home doesn’t mean failing. Neither does staying there. It means you’re back where you belong.”
She froze. “Take me back to the marina.”
Fuck. Didn’t he know all along she’d react that way? “Admit it, you’re afraid if you come back to Lakeside you’ll be seen as a failure. But I know you’re the only one who would see you that way.”
“You don’t know anything.” She stood up as if to walk away, but there was nowhere to go on a boat in the middle of Lake Margaret. She cursed and dropped back down to the seat.
He might as well blurt out the rest of it, the question he’d wanted to ask since he realized how strong his feelings for her were. “You can live anywhere in the country and do the work you do.” He felt as if he were begging. He didn’t like to beg but he’d do it for Rachel. “You could live here in Lakeside, be a part of our lives. Travel when you need to and come back home to your friends. Your family. Me. Us. Living in Lakeside doesn’t mean you’ve failed.”
Her hands were clenched so tightly, her knuckles were white. She was shaking. “I’m not moving back to Lakeside.”
”Who knew the ambitious Rachel Bradford was actually a coward?”
“How dare you call me a coward after you ran away from home for over a decade?”
Yeah, there was some truth in that, but… “I came home, but you’re still running away.”
She surged to her feet again, her face red. “Take me back. Now.”
Why was he trying to make her angry? This was supposed to have been a relaxing end to their time together, and now he’d ruined whatever chance they might have had. “Fine. Sit down.”
“I don’t want to sit down.” She crossed her arms, then almost lost her balance when the boat rocked.
“Well, I don’t want you to fall overboard. It would be a real pain in the ass to have to pull you out of the lake.”
“You’re such a jerk.” But she plopped down onto the seat.
“Good thing I didn’t say I was in love with you.” Well, he hadn’t expected that to come out of his mouth.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re not in love with me and I’m not in love with you. We played our parts for the camera. You used me to get your business ready and I used you to save my show. That’s all that went on here.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That’s all it was.” It was still hot and muggy on the lake, but Beck was chilled to the bone.
“I wish I’d never come on this stupid ride. It ruined everything,” she ground out. “I was almost sorry to leave. I would have remembered you fondly, but now I’m back to hating you.” Her chin jutted out. “You are still that cocky jerk underneath it all, aren’t you?”
“And you’re still that stuck-up country club princess with your nose in the air.”
“Guess you were wrong.”
“About what?”
“Apparently we don’t bring out the best in each other.”
…
Beck hated staring into a camera. He’d hated it on the first day and now that they’d finally reached the final day, he still hated it.
He didn’t care how much money he’d save, or how much promotion it would mean for his business, he was never doing this again. If the crew came back for the opening of The Salvage Station, they could film the bar, the crowd—please let there be a crowd—interview Pop or Noah or anyone else. He would remain behind the bar and then stay far away from any camera for as long as he lived.
Stu was wrong. Beck had never gotten used to it.
Stu called cut for the third, or maybe fourth time because Beck couldn’t seem to stir up the proper amount of enthusiasm as he waited to be allowed into his own place to see what had been done to it. His nightmare was that it had been changed into a caricature of a neighborhood bar and he’d have to tear the damn thing apart and do it his way. If he hated it, was he supposed to pretend to love it before he was forced to start all over again? He hadn’t thought about that before today, but it was all he could think about now. He just wanted to get this over with.
Rachel stood beside him, looking as lovely and put-together as always, wearing another dress that was a riot of pinks and yellows that made her look even more vibrant than she already was. She seemed to have no trouble repeating her lines over and over, perfectly, as though they hadn’t thrown nasty words at each other last night and destroyed the relationship they’d been building. As if it didn’t hurt her heart to think of what they’d thrown away.
She somehow smiled at him and for the camera at the same time. “Beckett Colburn, the time has come to see how your old fire station has been transformed into an exciting but welcoming neighborhood bar with The Rachel Touch. Are you ready?”
He forced a smile. “Yes. I. Am. So ready.”
“Cut!” Stu shouted again. “For God’s sake, try to sound natural.”
“You want natural? ‘Let me into my fucking bar.’ How does that sound?”
Rachel placed her hand on his arm, then jerked it back as if she’d remembered she didn’t want to touch him anymore. “Beckett, please.”
“Sorry.” He was a grown man. A single dad. He was no longer that angry, cocky jerk. He took a deep breath and smiled at the camera. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve done to the place.”
“That’ll have to do,” Stu said. He leaned close. “I don’t know what’s up with you two this morning but shake it off and let’s finish this.”
Beck nodded. Holly and the rest of his family were standing in The Salvage Station parking lot, waiting for their chance to
see the final reveal, as soon as the crew filmed Beckett’s reaction. The parking lot at Colburn and Sons was packed with gawkers. He appreciated that Pop hadn’t insisted on being the first one in the door. Maybe he did finally trust Beck to know what he was doing. He’d never gotten around to having that conversation with his parents yet.
He hadn’t realized he’d curled his hands into fists. He stretched out his fingers and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans. The crew followed him and Rachel to the front door.
There hadn’t been any way to avoid him seeing the changes done to the outside. Apparently, for most of Rachel’s projects, the homeowners had to stay away from the entire neighborhood while the work was being done. But with Colburn and Sons next door, they decided they couldn’t avoid him seeing the new multi-paned windows that took the place of the two garage doors or the wide entry door. Blinds had been installed and pulled down over the windows so no one could see inside. They’d mounted a large, colorful sign out front only this morning with an image of an old, red fire helmet, with The Salvage Station printed across it. He had to admit it was a look that should draw customers to the bar.
Glen walked ahead of them—backward— so he could capture Beck’s expression as he approached the building, walked through the door, and got his first look at the finished interior. His stomach twisted into a mass of nerves. He should have been excited and he supposed he was on some level, but focusing on keeping his face neutral while walking up the new brick walk was taking all his concentration. Then he stepped through the door and froze.
He should have known anything Rachel designed would take his breath away. The industrial theme he feared would be too cold and bright, was anything but. It was…perfect. The pipes and ductwork added interest to the high ceiling, but the mixture of reclaimed wood and metal in the bar, the floor, and the furniture made all the difference.
“Well…what do you think?” Rachel was still beside him, the camera was in his face, and Beck had forgotten everything but seeing his dream come to life. Was that hesitancy in her voice? Could she actually have been worried what he would think?
The hell with the camera. Beck turned to Rachel. He wanted to pull her into his arms but not only would the gesture not be appropriate for the show, he didn’t have that right any longer. “Exactly what I wanted and I didn’t even know it. It’s more than I ever expected.”
Her wide smile revealed her relief. “You wanted an atmosphere that would welcome your customers and let them know they’re going to have a great time, just by walking in the door. That’s the goal of a good design.”
“You accomplished exactly that.”
“Great. Let me show you around.” She led him over to one wall where low tables were surrounded by upholstered club chairs. “As you can see, the fire-engine red we used on the entrance door has been echoed in the fabric in these conversation areas.”
“I didn’t know you were going to do these. They’re great.” He turned his focus to the artwork on the wall. “Those look familiar.”
“Yes, I talked with your sister-in-law, Anita Delgado, who you know is an exceptional artist, and we selected a few paintings from her gallery to display. If you’ll notice on the other wall are some photographs by your other sister-in-law, Katie Colburn. You have a talented family, Beckett.”
And by choosing art from the family, Rachel had personalized the space even further. “Yes, I do.”
“Let’s take a look at the bar because I know that’s the most important space.” He followed her across the floor, past the beautiful tables of wood and iron. “Now you had already installed this gorgeous salvaged bar, and I couldn’t have done any better. But we’ve added a few touches I hope you like.”
Beck pointed to the base of the bar. “Iron pipes for the foot rail. I like it.”
“We used the same pipe for the legs of the barstools,” Rachel went on. “The seats are fashioned from salvaged wood Colburn and Sons had in storage.” The seats had been sanded and stained to match the bar.
She gestured behind the bar, to the wood and metal shelves that held the liquor bottles and were reflected in the mirrored wall. “I designed everything to be functional as well as great-looking. You’ll have to let me know how I did.”
He rounded the bar, checked out the reach to the glasses, the sink, the well, and the shelves. Everything worked. He looked out over the bar, and a thrill of anticipation made his heart race. He couldn’t wait to see the place humming with friends and strangers.
“It’s perfect,” he told her. “It’s not one thing, it’s everything. I can’t even take it all in.”
“We have one more thing for you to look at,” Rachel said. She took his hand and he savored the sensation. He most likely wouldn’t feel it again. But she was heading to the stairs. As she’d mentioned at the beginning, she’d installed a metal gate to block off the stairs. “I can’t believe Colburn and Sons even had this scissor gate from an old elevator in their storage yard.”
“I remember that salvage. An old factory in Buffalo.”
Rachel opened the gate and started up the stairs. The crew followed them.
“The upstairs wasn’t part of the deal.”
She smiled. “Surprise.”
When they reached the top, he saw that the bare room had been completely finished. “I have no words.”
“I wanted a safe and fun place for Holly to hang out,” she told him. “We installed noise-deadening flooring. That sofa against the wall pulls out into a bed if need be. We threw in a couple of extra chairs in case she wants to have some friends over to watch the big screen TV. But we didn’t forget about homework.” Rachel pointed out the desk with a new laptop sitting on the surface.
Beck walked around, stunned. He picked up one of the throw pillows tossed on the denim sofa. Had she really had time to knit those chunky yellow pillow covers? “Rachel…”
He started to walk toward her, then remembered the damn camera was recording everything.
Her gaze caught his, bittersweet to be sure. “I didn’t forget you need office space, too.”
She led him past a row of freshly painted shelves that divided the space. He recognized them immediately as the ones they’d salvaged from the old general store last week. There were a few books stacked on them, with room for many more.
In the office space, she’d added a roomy desk and a comfortable-looking office chair. He took a step over to the firemen’s pole. “There’s a cover over the hole.”
“Safety.”
“And there’s a latch.” He had to smile at her then. “In case you want to give it another try?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The cheeky grin slid off her face as she must have remembered she’d swore she’d never be back here again.
“Well, I’m overwhelmed. It’s perfect. Everything’s perfect. Thank you, Rachel.” He knew he had to get out of there before he broke down and held her or kissed her or cried in front of the damned camera. He turned to Stu. “Did you get enough?”
He nodded.
“I’m going to send Holly in. She’s got to see this.” Beck headed for the stairs.
“Okay, guys. That’s a wrap,” Stu said. “We’ll head out as soon as we get everything together. Don’t want to miss our flight.”
Beck shook hands with the crew members and then headed outside to send in Holly and the rest of the family. He sat on one of the benches out front after everyone headed inside. He needed a few minutes to breathe with no camera or producer or beautiful, talented designer who was so afraid of failure she wouldn’t try something new. But he knew he had acted like a jerk last night, and he needed a chance to get her alone to apologize.
Rachel approached quietly. “I’m glad you’re happy with the design.” She sat beside him.
“It’s everything I wanted and more. And I’m sorry for last night. I was frustrated and let
my mouth get away from me. I don’t want us to part on such a bad note.”
“I don’t either. I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be.”
“You’re the bravest person I know, and I should never have called you a coward.”
She shifted on the bench. “You’ve built yourself a wonderful life here. Holly is…amazing.”
“She is.” He had so many things he should say to Rachel. That she could be a part of his life. That she could be happy here. That she’d never be a failure even if the Home Improvement Network did something stupid like cancel her show.
But she knew all that. It wouldn’t help to say the words out loud.
“I still wish you’d come back for the opening.”
“I can’t.”
“I can text you sometimes. Send some pics of Holly.”
“Don’t.” She grasped his hands, locked her sad but resigned gaze with his. “You understand why.”
He nodded. The same reason he didn’t speak to his family for years after he left Lakeside, trying to find his way.
“Rachel. Rachel. Rachel.” Holly came flying out the door and into Rachel’s arms. “You made me my own space. You remembered the tulips and butterflies. It’s so pretty. I love you. I love you.”
Rachel patted her back. Tears glittered in her eyes when she looked over Holly’s head at Beckett. “I’m happy you like it.”
“I love it. Thank you. Thank you.”
Rachel gently pulled Holly away and rose to her feet. “I’m afraid I have to go. My flight is this afternoon.”
“You’re going back to California?”
“Yep.”
“When are you coming back?”
“Oh, sweetie. I won’t be coming back to Lakeside.”
“But we didn’t get the chance to talk about our living room. And I wanted to take a boat ride with you. And invite you up to my new room when Daddy’s busy downstairs.”
Rachel began to back away. “Sorry.”
“Yeah. I know. You’re too busy. That’s okay.” Holly hugged her again, but the disappointment was clear in her voice.
The Goodbye Guy (The Men of Lakeside) Page 23
