by Valia Lind
"No."
"Neither can I."
"I don't hear the sounds of battle either," I comment, and he finally looks at me. He's worried, just like I am.
"It doesn't mean anything," he says, turning back to the wall. I agree and I give the command.
"We go in on high alert."
Without a second thought, we rush the wall, our majykal strength sending us right over with the jump. We land softly, side by side, swords drawn, arms tense. But there's no one. We're at the back of the garden, with the doors to the dance room straight north from us. Staying low, we move quickly, as I expand my majyk to search for my friends. It bounces off barriers that aren't natural to this part of Skazka and I realize they're portals opening up to let the soldiers in.
"Anything?" I ask.
"No. There's too much disturbance. As if something blocking my majyk."
I agree. But I don't get to say it out loud as a group of those Frankenstein monsters walk across our path. We barely have enough time to duck, as they make their way through the garden.
"I can feel their dark majyk," I whisper, noticing how Brendan's shoulders stiffen at the words. He's dealing with the facts as best as he can, but it'll be a long time before he comes to terms with any of it.
"Can you always feel the dark majyk?"
"I try to suppress it as much as possible," I reply honestly. He looks over at me, meeting my gaze and I want to reach out. But any kind of physical contact between us in not possible right now. If it'll ever be again.
"But I think I can use it," I say what I've been contemplating since we got back to Skazka. Now I have his full attention and I burn under the heaviness of that gaze.
"You're not serious?"
"I am. I've been thinking about this for a while. The Orb and Koschei's majyk, they play off each other. You've seen it. You've seen how strong I can be, even without the full knowledge of my powers. If we can use that to our advantage, then why not?"
"Because," Brendan begins, turning to face me, "we don't know what that means for you. Is giving in to this majyk, is it going to change you?"
He's terrified. I can see it and I can't say I'm not as well. But we need every advantage and this thing inside of me, it may be our only one at this point.
"I have to try Brendan. Vasilisa, she's not going to stop."
"So you're on Cornelius' side now?"
"That's not how this works. Neither one of them deserve their position. If we can take them out of power, then maybe we can stop this war before it gets completely out of hand."
"But at what expense?"
And I see it now. He's not scared of me. He's frightened at the thought of losing me. I close my eyes against the pain I see in his, knowing with every part of my being that what I'm doing is what needs to be done.
"When it's all said and done," Brendan whispers and I open my eyes to meet his. "Will you be able to live with the choices you've made?"
I hold his gaze for a long moment and then, just like I promised, I speak the truth.
"I don't count on living."
There isn't much to say after my announcement. I don't give Brendan time to deal with my words before turning to head into the palace. Brendan is right on my heels, keeping his eyes out for trouble, but the place seems deserted. We make our way through the hallways, keeping close to the walls, as not to step on any of the fallen. I keep my eyes firmly away from the face which stare up at me blankly, concentrating instead on pushing my majyk farther out. The sense of foreboding still hangs in the air, but the sounds of battle are all gone.
"Are they gone?" Brendan whispers beside me, the first words he's spoken in over ten minutes. Without glancing at him, I shake my head. Not exactly sure how to put what I'm feeling into words, but I try.
"Their essence is still here, from what I can tell. But it's almost as if they're in...stasis. Like with a simple command, they'll spring into action."
Finally, I turn to look at him. He's already watching me, which I think he's been doing this whole time anyway. But now he nods.
"I just can't tell where they are."
"Maybe the In Between?" he asks after a moment, as we continue to make our way through the halls. Freezing in my tracks, I mull that over.
"Since they rerouted the doorways, it's possible," I say slowly, thinking of the possibilities. There are too many ways this could work out and not many of them work in our favor.
"Let's keep moving," Brendan says, pulling me back out of my head. "They have to be here somewhere."
He takes the lead, walking through the doorway to our right, but before we take but a few steps, something stops me. My hand reaches out automatically, halting his progress with a touch to his arm. His body tenses at the contact and I drop my hand hastily.
"I think we should go this way," I point in the opposite direction, unsure of what exactly is calling me there. But the more I use my majyk, the more attuned its becoming. If I'm to trust myself to use it, I need to trust it, at least a bit.
"The throne room?"
"Yes."
We both look at each other, concern written all of our faces. The throne room has extra majyk wards, protecting it from nearly anything imaginable. If the Glava were able to penetrate those defenses, they are a whole lot more powerful than we thought. Maybe even more powerful than I am prophesied to be.
"Slowly?" Brendan asks, and I nod. Together we begin moving toward the throne room, and the pull of majyk I feel there. Just as when we were growing up, Brendan and I are acutely connected and when he turns toward one of the side entrances, I smile. I was just about to mention the fact that we should use the little nooks set up around the room and get a lay out of the land.
Voices reach us the moment we come across the main entrance hallway. Quickly, we rush to the side, but the conversation is coming from inside the room. Flattening against the wall, we creep over to the outlook area and peek in.
Vasilisa is standing at the foot of the throne, her dress torn and bloodied. I wonder why she hasn't just majykally removed the stains, but then I focus on her words and realize she’s doing it for effect.
"They will not stop, they will not rest, until every single one of you are gone!" she proclaims, motioning to the people around her. "We must take the battle to them! No more playing the defensive. We have held them off from our borders long enough. We must fight to push them back, once and for all. Our people, your families, did not die in vain. We will avenge them."
I stare in shock as the court around her becomes alive with shouts of affirmation. They're ready to go to battle this very second and that's when her plan suddenly makes sense.
"She's using this attack to rally the crowd in support of an all out war," I shake my head, even as I admire her tenacity.
"You're right. She must've let in the Glava soldiers," Brendan's words are barely a whisper and I can see how much it pains him to admit this. We have followed her blindly, for years, and now, those rose colored glasses have been shattered.
"If she's controlling them, we don't stand a chance."
"A chance is all we need, Brendan."
I hate seeing him so adrift. There's no better word for it. Our whole lives he's been a pillar of faith and courage. How do I reconcile the man I know and the one in front of me, whose whole life has come crushing down in tatters? He runs his hand through his hair, sending the already messy locks into disarray. I can see him trying to figure out what to do next, working through all the different endings. I wait patiently, even as my majyk is going haywire inside of me. Something is setting it off and since I barely know how to control it as is, I don't know if I can hold it back if it comes down to it.
"Do you think you can stand against her powers?" Brendan finally asks, his eyes once more on me.
"I don't know, Brendan," I reply honestly, even though I want to lie. I want to tell him that I can handle anything, that I can save him and the rest of our world from all of this destruction. Because without a shadow of a doubt, th
ere will be destruction if Vasilisa is allowed to continue on. She has already slaughtered hundreds of her own people. And she's just getting started.
"I wish I could tell you that I know what I'm doing, that I can control this...thing inside of me. But it's just as new to me as it is to you. I've just had a little longer to come to terms with it."
"Have you dealt with it?" I know what he means. He's asking as a solider. He needs to know that I won't freeze in battle, but I think I've already proved that. Yet, I understand that he still needs the reassurance. He needs to know my head is clear when our lives are on the line.
"I've dealt with it enough that I won't squelch my responsibility."
My voice comes out hard and authoritative. There's a gleam of something in Brendan's eye, but it's gone too fast for me to discern it. I tear my gaze away and focus on what's happening inside the throne room. Vasilisa is still giving her speech and the people around her eagerly listen to every word. Scanning the faces, I'm unable to locate my friends.
"Brendan, they're not here."
He's been looking for them too and when I speak up, he turns his worried gaze on me. We're both feeling it. Since she knows about my feelings towards her, she won't hesitate to use my friends against me. And that terrifies me. My majyk flares up at my emotion, the need to destroy her where she stands rising up in me. I swallow it down, fighting for control. My mind goes blank, the desire to unleash taking my breath away. I drop to all fours, reaching my hands toward the ground. The majyk twists and turns and I'm afraid if I lose control now, I'll never be able to regain it again. My chest hurts and I know it's the Orb answering to the need of the majyk. A scream rises at the back of my throat, but by some power, I keep my mouth shut.
"Cali, come back." Vaguely, I hear Brendan's voice, reaching towards me through all the noise in my mind. "Come back. Come back to me."
Slowly, I become aware of him. His arms on my skin, his voice in my ears. Panic eases as fast as it comes, the majyk settling down, if only for now. I raise my eyes to meet his, tears in my own.
"Did I hurt you?"
"No."
I look him over, taking inventory to make sure. This state of panic, of uncontrolled emotion, scares me more than my majyk does. If I don't learn to control myself, I won't be able to control the majyk. It's grown quiet, the only sound my hitched breathing.
"Brendan, where's Vasilisa?" I ask, because if it's this quiet, she probably heard us. Or she may have felt my majyk, like I seem to feel hers. Brendan stands up, looking through the opening, before reaching down and pulling me to my feet.
"Come on, we have to move. Now."
We rush through the doors and out into the opposite hallway. Brendan keeps a firm grip on my arm while it takes my body to regain some resemblance of normality. The panic attacks, the freak outs, they don't come often, but they sure come at inopportune times. I can now hear the boots on the ground behind us, which must mean Vasilisa did know I was close. We round another corner, but before we can take two steps, someone grabs us from behind, pulling us into the shadows.
19
I disarm my attacker with one swift move, my other hand reaching for the knife tucked into my boots. Swinging around, I'm ready to slice, when Jemma's voice reaches me.
"Cali!"
Instantly, I focus my vision on the group in front of me, realizing it's my friends. They're all bloody and bruised, but they're alive. Jemma pushes past Rus, who was the one to grab me, and throws her arms around me.
"I was so worried. When the fighting started, I didn't know what to do. Maxwell pulled us away and after the queen, but then we got separated and he came back for me and so did Devra and we tried going through a portal but it didn't take us to that panic room and we’ve been here for days and then..."
"Okay, Jemma, breathe. I'm okay, you're okay. We're okay."
She clings to me for a bit longer, before finally letting go. This girl has been through more than anyone would ever imagine, in such a short time. I'm surprised all of my friends aren't completely losing their minds at this point from the crazy rollercoaster ride they’ve been on. And this answered my question on how long we’ve been gone in the In Between. Looking over at the rest of my crew, I notice that Lana is injured. Once Jemma lets me go, I step over to Lana, crouching down in front of her.
"It looks worse than it is," she says, smiling. But I can see the pain behind the curl of her lips. Her arm is shredded, the bandages soaked through with her blood. She's cradling it as best she can, but even so, she’s in agony.
"What happened?" I ask, still studying her arm and trying to figure out if there is anything to be done. Our majyk isn't simple. We can't just say a spell and heal all wounds. Only certain fae have that ability, the ones who descend from the Healers bloodline. It really is all in the blood for us.
"We were surrounded before the alarms sounded," Devra says, stepping up, like she always did when delivering a report. "They came through all the doors, their smell reaching us instantaneously. We fought, but Her Majesty disappeared before we were even close by. We found this hideout and been trying to make it through the lines, but after a few tries, we decided to stay put in case you came back. But Cali, I have no idea how they got this close without any of us picking up on it." Even though she doesn't show emotion often, I can see how much it bothers her.
"You wouldn't have had any way to know," I say standing up. "They came through from the In Between. With some assistance." I almost say it right then and there, but something stops me. I glance over at Brendan, knowing he's already watching me. I raise my eyebrow in question, because he's always been better with people. If he thinks I should tell them now, then I will. After a moment, he gives me a slight nod. Devra has been watching the exchange, her eyes narrowed. She'd never speak out of turn, but I rather she doesn't carry any suspicion either.
"Vasilisa let them in through the portals." I finally say, and wait for an explosion. These are soldiers who followed the queen for years and Devra is not the one to give away her loyalty to just anyone. I glance at her now, and realize she doesn't look as surprised as I would expect her to.
"Devra?"
"I suspected," she says, turning away and starting a trek around the small room. We all watch her, waiting her out. She makes another pass between us, before stopping. "After you disappeared, I started looking into things a little more, and some things didn't make sense. We never watched her closely, because we weren't supposed to, but everything that happened with you, her sending away your parents...I just don't trust her like I used to."
Her words are met with silence and I think the others are surprised. Not at Vasilisa's actions, but at Devra's words. But I'm not. I'm exhilarated. It means everything to me to have her validate everything that I've been seeing and feeling and discovering. She may not have the whole extent of the knowledge, but she knew enough to be suspicion. And that, I can definitely use.
"That’s a high accusation, Cali," Rus speaks up from his spot near Lana. Maxwell still hasn't said a word. He's just hovering near Jemma, and storing up a million questions, I'm sure. I need him on my side, but I won't push it. No matter how much I just want to command all of them to obey.
"Long story short," I begin, throwing a hard look at Rus, "We need to get out of here. The queen and I aren't on good terms and I'm sure she'd love to kill me right about now. I'd like to live long enough to kill her instead. Now, I think we've all caught up."
I dare them to contradict me with my glare, but they look at me speechless. Then, it's Maxwell and Jemma who step up at the same time.
"Let's go then," Maxwell says, just as Jemma opens her mouth. They glance at each other, sharing a smile and my own eyes find Brendan's. He's kept quiet, giving me the option to do what I deem best. I know he's always trusted me, but I'm sure it's not exactly easy to do so now.
"Devra?" I turn to my third in command. After her speech, I'm not surprised she steps up. She wants answers just as badly as I do. Rus and Lana are the las
t to stand, as he helps her up, supporting her weight with his own. Just like that, I have my own mini army.
"What's the plan?" Rus asks.
"I know you'll be shocked, but I don't have much of one past the 'we need to get out of the palace'." I reply, my hand twirling the knife I'm holding.
"I do," Brendan says, stepping up next to me. It feels exhilarating that I don't have to question him. He's the one person in my life I can be sure of. So I don’t second guess his plan, whatever it is.
"Then let's move," I say, not taking my eyes off Brendan. He nods, before turning to the concealed door we were pulled through earlier. Maxwell, Jemma, Rus, and Lana end up in the middle, as they need the most protection, with Devra bringing up the rear. The fact that they fall into formation, even after everything, makes my majyk sing.
We move swiftly, keeping our senses attuned to the noises around us. The castle is once again coming alive, with people rushing around to carry out Vasilisa's orders. They're preparing for war, and while a huge part of me wants to fight, I know I have to be smart about this. There's more on the line than I could've ever imagined. I watch Brendan out of the corner of my eye, my mind wandering back to those few stolen moments we had in the In Between. I don't know if I will ever be able to not think about the way he felt against me or the fire his touch ignited in me. Shaking my head, I push the memories away. How funny is it that all I've been trying to do is remember and now, it would be best of I forgot. My mind is a confusing place to be.
Suddenly, Brendan raises his arm, halting our progress. Moving towards him, I feel the air thicken around us with danger. I'm not sure if revealing my secret opened up my majyk to more possibilities, freeing it somehow, but I can distinguish so much more now. Peeking around the corner, my eyes count four of the deformed monsters on guard. Their presence just confirms all of my suspicions. We could go through them, but I don't want to alert Vasilisa of our whereabouts. Instead, I motion for us to go around, through the garden doors at the back. No one questions my decision, moving at once.
