Tangled Lives

by Stephanie Harte

  ‘I never expected to lose my wife when I was forty.’ Jethro laced his fingers together and rested them on his chest. ‘After Nora died, I went off the rails for a while. I channelled my grief into aggression and took it out on my rivals. I came to my senses when I nearly got sent down for gouging out the eye of a bent copper.’

  My stomach flipped over. I was surprised he’d told me that. Perhaps he had a feeling I’d underestimated him, and he was giving me an insight into what he was capable of. To be honest, I wouldn’t have thought Jethro had it in him. It just goes to show how appearances can be deceptive. Like Alfie, he was difficult to read. I would never have imagined a violent maniac was lurking inside this softly spoken man. He had that side of his personality well concealed.

  ‘In my defence, he deserved it. The guy kept poking his nose into my business. There’s nothing worse than a cop who’s happy to accept bribes and live on the edge of the criminal underworld but still tries to lay down the law. It’s a liberty. I pay the Old Bill to clear up our mess and keep us out of trouble. I don’t pay them to have opinions.’

  Jethro glanced down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket before he turned his attention back to me.

  ‘I can still see my old mum’s face, pleading with me to get a grip of myself for my kids’ sake. They needed me, and if I was behind bars, I wouldn’t be any good to them. Her lecture made me realise I needed to run the business with a less hands-on approach.’

  The Watsons had avoided being sent down for a very long time because they had people in high places on the payroll. That nugget of information was important; I wouldn’t forget it.

  The sound of the front door slamming made me freeze. My wish had been granted. Alfie was back. Then a thought crossed my mind; you should be careful what you wish for, shouldn’t you?

  Alfie walked into the living room, and he flashed me a bright smile. ‘What have you two been talking about then?’

  ‘Let’s just say your ears must be burning,’ I replied.

  ‘Excellent.’ Alfie winked.

  He undid the button on his grey suit jacket and began talking business with Jethro. My eyes were initially drawn to the holster he was wearing over his crisp white shirt, but then I found myself absentmindedly studying the contours of his muscles through the thin fabric before I managed to snap myself out of it.

  What the hell was I doing? There was no denying Alfie was a good-looking man and bore a strong resemblance to his father, but that wasn’t the only thing they shared. They were both psychotic lunatics. I hoped for my son’s sake he’d inherited the Watsons’ good looks but not their temperament.

  81

  Alfie

  I’d never found a woman I wanted to settle down with before. That was until Gemma walked into my life. She was the one. I’d never been more certain about anything. We were a perfect match. It frustrated me that she refused to see it. Her misplaced loyalty to Nathan was clouding her judgement. Was I pinning my hope for a future with Gemma on a lost cause? Only time would tell.

  I hadn’t gone blind. I’d still notice an attractive woman if she walked into the room, but nobody compared to Gemma in my eyes. She was the most beautiful woman in the world and was in a league of her own. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I loved everything about her, especially the way she’d start fidgeting with her hair when she felt uncomfortable or when she flashed me a look of contempt with her incredible green eyes. I even loved the torrent of verbal abuse she gave me when she was trying to wind me up.

  There was an art to picking up women, which I was happy to say I’d mastered over the years. I’d never needed to go on a Tinder date. My line of work and bank balance ensured I had a never-ending supply of potential partners. The opposite sex literally threw themselves at my feet, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy that. I liked having the freedom to sleep with different women whenever I felt like it. In the past, I’d even been guilty of juggling a few at the same time. That was one of the privileges of being single.

  But since I’d spent the night with Gemma, I hadn’t been interested in sharing my bed with anyone else. I think it was my body’s way of telling me that I’d found my other half, even though I hadn’t been looking for it.

  I realised being part of a couple shouldn’t mean you lost your identity, but because I had a fear of dependence, I’d never felt the need to be in a committed relationship before. Why would I? It made you vulnerable, and that was something that didn’t sit comfortably with me.

  82

  Gemma

  I’d been suffering from insomnia for some time now, but ever since Alfie had made Luca and I move into Darkwood Manor, so he could keep an eye on us, it had reached another level. Alfie wanted to know my every move, and that in itself was stressful.

  The world Alfie lived in was unsafe. The war with the Albanians was far from over. How could it be? Somebody still needed to pay for the loss of lives they had endured, and it would be easier to target Alfie than Vladimir. I was petrified that something awful would happen to Nathan while we were estranged. I didn’t want my husband to suffer at the hands of one of Alfie’s enemies.

  I never wanted Nathan and Luca to become involved in this mess. The clock was ticking; I knew the truth would be revealed very soon; I had almost run out of time. If I could get away, I wouldn’t have to be the one to tell my husband the details of the secret I’d been keeping from him. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come up with a plan. Even if I did manage to escape, would we ever really be free of Alfie? I knew the answer, but it was too depressing to contemplate. Because of my stupidity, our lives would always be tangled together.

  When the bedroom door opened and I saw Alfie standing in front of me, my heartbeat went into overdrive. He cast an eye over my state of undress, I was aware that the thin fabric of my pyjamas was slightly see-through, but I hadn’t been expecting company. I was on my way to bed.

  ‘You look beautiful, Gemma.’ Alfie smiled, saying plenty with his eyes.

  As I turned my back on him and went to walk away, Alfie closed the gap and slipped his hands around my waist. I felt myself freeze. Keeping my back to him, I tried to push Alfie’s hands away, but he grabbed hold of my wrist, and he swung me around, so I had no option but to face him. He pulled me towards him, and his mouth was on mine before I had a chance to protest.

  When one of his hands skimmed over my breast, I felt rage erupt inside me. It was bubbling under the surface like molten lava. Who did he think he was? It was about time Alfie realised he couldn’t paw me whenever he felt like it. I put both of my hands on his chest and pushed him backwards, then looked up at him. My face was like thunder. Alfie looked stunned by my sudden outburst. It was just as well I’d caught him off guard. Otherwise, I would never have been able to overpower him.

  ‘What’s the matter, Gemma?’ Alfie laughed.

  I clenched my fists as I glared at him, hoping to compose myself before I had to speak.

  ‘Why the long pause?’ Alfie’s eyes twinkled as he waited for me to reply.

  ‘Get out of my room,’ I finally blurted out. My words were loaded with hate. I crossed my arms over my chest when I noticed Alfie’s blue eyes sweep over me and linger on my cleavage.

  ‘I take it you’re turning me down again, are you? Not even a maybe?’ Alfie winked, openly flirting with me. ‘That’s a shame. Things were just about to get interesting.’ Alfie smiled, and charm oozed out of his pores.

  He took a step towards me and ran his fingers across my lips. Panic ripped through me, and acting on instinct I sprang back to put some distance between us.

  ‘My offer still stands. I’d be happy to take you off Nathan’s hands. So if you change your mind, you know where to find me.’ Alfie winked again. ‘I’ll leave you with that thought,’ he said before he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

  A moment later, I found myself leaning against the back of the door listening to the muffled sound of his footsteps as they retrea
ted down the hall. I finally let out the breath I’d been holding. There was no lock on my bedroom door, so I knew I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

  83

  Gemma

  ‘I think it’s about time you and Nathan had a little chat,’ Alfie said. ‘Knuckles is going to drive us over to Gareth’s house, and you’re going to tell your husband about Luca No excuses this time, Gemma.’

  I felt my stomach contents somersault at his suggestion. Thoughts were racing around in my head so fast I was having trouble concentrating. I’d have to force myself to focus. I wanted to see Nathan more than anything, but I wasn’t ready to tell him the truth. I somehow doubted I ever would be. I could see Alfie meant business, so there was no point stalling any longer. I could do with some liquid courage before I faced my husband, but we’d only just had breakfast, so I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask Alfie if I could have a stiff drink before we left.

  As I prepared my son for the journey, a sense of guilt washed over me. It was time to face up to what I’d done. When I looked back at the terrible decision I’d made keeping Luca’s paternity a secret, I wondered what I was thinking of. There was more than a chance I wasn’t thinking at all. I must have been acting on emotion, not logic. I’d been selfish and stupid lying to Nathan about Luca because I was scared of the outcome. That was ridiculous. There was no justifying what I’d done.

  It was impossible to know how Nathan was going to react when I dropped the bombshell. I’d been playing out what-if scenarios in my mind for long enough now. As I tried to muster up the courage, I reminded myself that Nathan and I had overcome huge hurdles before, and this latest crisis wouldn’t necessarily spell the end of our marriage. A catastrophe had the potential to make a relationship stronger. I had to believe that was possible. Otherwise, I’d never be able to go through with it. It was time to stop torturing myself and get this over and done with. I kept hoping that once I’d revealed my secret, it would ease my troubled mind, but until my confession was set free, I was stuck in a state of limbo.

  ‘You only get the chance to fuck up once, Gemma. I don’t give second chances, so be a good girl and let’s get this over with,’ Alfie said.

  *

  I sat in the back of the car sandwiched between Alfie and Jethro; Luca was in the front next to Knuckles. The atmosphere was tense, and anxiety flowed through my body like an electric current. I stayed silent for the entire journey to Whitechapel.

  I began wringing my hands as Jethro, Alfie and I approached Gareth’s terraced house. Knuckles was going to wait in the car with Luca.

  ‘Hello, Gemma,’ Gareth said after he opened the front door.

  ‘Can I see Nathan please?’ My lip quivered as I spoke.

  ‘I’m not sure he’ll want to talk to you, especially as Alfie and Jethro are with you.’

  ‘Well, we’re not going anywhere, and if Gemma has to ask you again, you’re going to be sorry,’ Alfie replied, throwing his weight about as his eyes bored into Gareth’s.

  Gareth blew out a breath and shrugged. ‘You’d better come in then.’

  Gareth turned on his heel and walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. Alfie, Jethro and I followed behind.

  I’d become tangled in a web of lies of my own creation, and the only way to escape was to tell my husband the truth. It was a moment I’d been dreading for so long, but now it was time for me to come clean and put an end to the deceit once and for all. I stood staring at Nathan, contemplating how to begin this awkward conversation.

  ‘What do you want, Gemma? I’m sure this isn’t a social visit.’

  Biting down on my lip, I glanced at Alfie out of the corner of my eye, as I prepared to speak. He was scratching the side of his cheek with immaculately clean fingernails while eyeballing Nathan.

  ‘How nice of you to bring Alfie with you. Have you come to rub my nose in it? By the way, where’s Luca?’

  I left his question unanswered. I needed to focus on the purpose of my visit and not allow myself to get distracted. Otherwise, I was going to chicken out.

  ‘I’ve got something to tell you, Nathan.’ My tears rolled silently down my cheeks.

  I could feel every pair of eyes in the room watching me.

  ‘It’s OK, Gemma, you can save your breath.’ Nathan put his hand up to silence me.

  I looked into my husband’s eyes, but I didn’t recognise the man standing in front of me. I never imagined Nathan had this callous side to his personality. It was as though he’d already accepted our marriage was over. He didn’t even want to discuss it. Nathan was prepared to let me go. I felt myself start to crumble at the thought of that, but I had to get a grip and finish what I’d come here to do.

  ‘Please don’t interrupt me, just let me say my piece.’

  ‘Maybe you should save it for somebody who gives a shit. You two are welcome to each other.’ Nathan was shaking with fury, and his voice was laced with venom.

  Alfie pushed his face right into my husband’s, and the atmosphere in the room changed. ‘Wind your neck in and stop trying to dominate the conversation, you prick.’

  When Alfie smirked, Nathan clenched his teeth, and a muscle twitched in my husband’s jaw. I’d have to get a move on before anger got the better of him.

  I took a deep breath, then the words tumbled out of my mouth. ‘There’s no easy way to say this.’ I tried to keep my voice steady so that I could gauge his reaction, but when I continued to speak, tears started to pour from my eyes as emotion welled up in me. ‘Luca’s not your son, he’s Alfie’s.’

  Nathan stared at me with a look of horror on his face. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. I could see my words were floating around in his mind. Nathan swallowed hard, then steadied himself on the back of the kitchen chair. He’d had the wind knocked out of his sails. The news had blindsided Nathan. It hit him like a tonne of bricks, and he flew into a jealous rage. When Nathan’s fist made contact with Alfie’s face, the sound resonated in the room around us. There was no way he was going to get away with that, I thought. I was right.

  Alfie looked into Nathan’s eyes before he grabbed him by the throat and pushed him back against the wall. Nathan hooked him with a jab to the side of the head, and a fight broke out between them. When Gareth and Jethro finally dragged them apart, Nathan’s knuckles were bruised and bleeding. Although he’d taken multiple blows, Alfie didn’t have a mark on his face, or a hair out of place and his suit still looked immaculate.

  I should have realised they would end up resorting to violence. Nathan had an incredibly short fuse and was prone to sudden eruptions of volcanic rage, and Alfie’s temper was legendary. This latest episode did nothing to dispel the rumour.

  I don’t think I would ever have come clean if Alfie hadn’t forced my hand. I found myself crying hysterically, pleading for one more chance between sobs. I promised I’d never do anything to hurt my husband again and rambled on, wallowing in self-pity, but my grovelling fell on deaf ears.

  Nathan was still trying to take in the news. As my words began to register, he stared at me. His dark eyes suddenly misted with tears as they searched mine. He was waiting for me to speak, but I had nothing more to say and felt suffocated by the silence. I had to get out of the room. I couldn’t bear to look at the shell of the man standing in front of me. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming. I’d hurt him so badly.

  Nathan had a vulnerability about him that usually brought out my protective side, but I’d just obliterated him by sharing my secret with him. I might as well have picked up a gun and blown his brains out. Nathan was broken. Watching the man I loved crumble in front of me sent my mind into turmoil.

  I glanced over at Alfie. He didn’t try and suppress his satisfied smile, and that made anger rise up inside me.

  84

  Nathan

  My wife had shattered my dream and pain seared into my body as if I’d been kicked in the stomach. What Gemma had done was incredibly cruel, and now so many unanswered questions whirr
ed around in my mind. How could the woman I loved betray me like this?

  I wondered how long my wife had known that Alfie was Luca’s father? Did Gemma know she was already pregnant when we’d started trying for a baby? I hoped not. That would make matters so much worse.

  Since I’d found out that Gemma was pregnant, I’d become preoccupied with finding my dad. When I’d finally met up with him, our reunion couldn’t have gone any better, and now that I’d repaired my relationship with my mum, I’d thought everything was going to be rosy. Even though my parents were divorced, I wanted them to be part of my son’s upbringing. I hoped we could have a happy future together after all the years we’d spent apart.

  Having a close family network meant everything to me. I wasn’t sure Gemma fully appreciated how strongly I felt about that. She had never had much of a bond with her parents or her sister, Rebecca, and I very much doubted she would ever make peace with them. As far as Gemma was concerned, they were toxic, and she was better off without them.

  I wished Gemma had told me the truth, instead of letting me believe Luca was mine. It was going to break my heart to walk away from my wife and the child I thought was my son now that I’d bonded with the baby, but what choice did I have? Alfie wasn’t going to allow us to continue to live as a family, so there was no point in even considering that option. Not that I wanted to. Gemma had broken my trust again, and I was struggling to deal with her betrayal. I couldn’t believe she’d been so deceitful keeping something as important as this to herself. That was such a selfish thing to do.

  When the thought had crossed my mind that Gemma and Alfie had rekindled their affair, I didn’t think my mood could sink any lower, but I was wrong. The pain I was experiencing now was on a different level. I felt empty and hollow like Gemma had slashed a knife across my stomach, and my insides had spilt out.