Tangled Lives

by Stephanie Harte

  I decided to turn in; it would do me good to get an early night, and I couldn’t face spending the rest of the evening with Alfie. I threw the scatter cushions onto the floor, then pulled back the lilac silk bedding and climbed into the centre of the enormous circular bed. My eyelashes felt like they had lead weights tied to them, and my eyes closed almost as soon as my head sank into the feather pillow.

  But I couldn’t sleep; I lay in the darkness, tossing and turning; the silence outside seemed deafening. I wasn’t used to the sound of tranquillity and longed to hear the familiar rhythmic thud of Puerto Banús nightlife. I loved nature, but there was something creepy about the forest at night. The rustling of the leaves and the owl hooting were enough to give me a full-blown panic attack. I tried to convince myself there was nothing to worry about; the nocturnal noises just belonged to woodland creatures going about their business. But the thought of what might be lurking in the darkness would ensure I kept one eye open.

  I would never get used to living in a remote location, but I’d have to bide my time for the moment and do what Alfie told me to. I’d need all my wits about me if I was going to outsmart him. Alfie’s polished exterior camouflaged what truly lay beneath his Savile Row suits. The man was a monster. I was almost certain he only wanted to be with Luca and I so he could get back at Nathan.

  Alfie lived in a man’s world. He loved nothing more than celebrating his criminal behaviour. I didn’t want myself or Luca to be part of that life. I was desperate to disappear to a place of safety. But I’d have to watch my back. If I crossed him, Alfie would track us down like he was hunting an animal. I played the thought over in my head. No wonder I was having trouble sleeping at night. It wasn’t just the sounds of nature that were keeping me awake.

  94

  Alfie

  Call me two-faced, but I couldn’t let Gemma know what I was planning. It was true that I’d been instrumental in the demise of her marriage, but I couldn’t afford to gloat about that, much as I wanted to. Nathan wasn’t right for Gemma; so it was time I took his place. That had always been my goal, and it had become even more important to me since Luca had been born. Whatever she might think, it wasn’t an act of vengeance; I was in love with Gemma. I’d got it bad.

  I’d have to have a word with my dad; we’d have to tone it down a bit; Gemma was getting narky with us. How dare we talk about her marriage to Nathan in the past tense? Speculating that the star-crossed-lovers fairy tale would end in tears was very unkind of us. We should be ashamed of ourselves. I couldn’t help smiling when I thought back to our earlier conversation. Gemma was outraged; she’d been stomping about the house in a foul mood for hours waiting for the opportunity to let rip at me. But I cut her down and sent her packing before she had a chance to. Gemma was no match for me, but I loved the fact that she thought she was. You had to admire the woman; I was seriously impressed; even hardened criminals were terrified of me.

  Gemma thought I hadn’t noticed that her green eyes were filled with tears when she’d gone off to sulk in her room. I hated seeing her upset, but it would do her good to stew for a bit. She might appreciate what I was trying to do for her when she’d had time to calm down. Anyone would think I was offering her a dose of genital herpes, not a life of luxury.

  Our plan was backfiring, so Dad and I would need to ease off for a bit. I was meant to be winning Gemma over, not pushing her away. I knew my future with her was hanging in the balance. Dad was as keen for us to be together as I was, but Gemma was stubborn as a mule and was resisting heavily. The decision to set up home with me had to be hers; I couldn’t force her into it. I was used to calling the shots, but I’d have to handle Gemma differently to get the desired outcome. Frustrating as it was, I’d have to let her do things at her own pace.

  I couldn’t make demands. It was lucky I was a patient man. At this rate, I’d be old and grey before I convinced her we were meant to be together.

  95

  Gemma

  Alfie and I had spent a tense couple of days, awkward in each other’s company, while we waited for the DNA test results to come back. We both knew what the outcome would be; I couldn’t change that no matter how much I wanted to, but until I saw the result in black and white I kept hoping the test would reveal that Nathan was Luca’s father after all.

  Although the doctor had taken our samples, he had set me up an account with the clinic that was carrying out the test. About every twenty minutes or so, I kept logging in to track the progress of our case, even though the expected completion date wasn’t until tomorrow. I couldn’t help myself. Waiting for life-changing news was proving to be incredibly stressful. I wished there was something I could do to lessen the anxiety. It wasn’t as if I didn’t already know the outcome of the test, but that somehow made matters worse. It made me feel powerless.

  The best thing I could do was try to take my mind off things. But that was easier said than done. My greatest weapon against the long wait was distraction, but distracting yourself was almost impossible when you couldn’t concentrate on anything. The dreaded DNA test result was the only thing my mind would focus on.

  The past ninety-six hours had dragged by in slow motion as the clock’s hands inched agonisingly towards the day we’d receive the results. Finally, it had arrived. As I fired up my laptop, a debilitating feeling came over me. I entered my password with shaking fingers while my heartbeat pounded against my ribs. I let out a loud groan. Talk about an anti-climax; there was no update. Now I’d have to spend another twenty-four hours walking on eggshells in the Watson mansion.

  96

  Gemma

  It was no secret that I’d struggled with the pressure of being the perfect mother. Inwardly I was in turmoil but to the outside world, I always pasted on a smile. Only Nathan knew the full extent of my anguish because, for all his faults, he never judged me.

  Nathan was my rock. He broke down my barriers and made me face my demons and all the things I tried to hide from everyone. My disastrous relationship with my family had made me develop a tough exterior, but behind it, I’d always had a deep-seated fear of not being good enough. Motherhood was proving to be harder than I’d ever imagined.

  By pushing me out of my comfort zone, Nathan had encouraged me to deal with my insecurities and everything I’d attempted to suppress for so long. Although facing up to my issues was challenging, it was also strangely therapeutic, and over the years, my husband had inadvertently become my therapist. He understood me on such a deep level. We shared a special connection. I’d always thought it was unbreakable.

  Cobwebs of despair were busy spinning themselves around my heart, ensnaring it. There was a good chance the love Nathan and I shared was going to come to an abrupt end. I didn’t want to contemplate a future without my husband. I knew I should force myself to consider it, but at the moment, my emotions were too raw. I was grieving for something that hadn’t happened yet. I couldn’t seem to stop myself. The intense feelings of sadness and grief were overwhelming.

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get past the pain of losing Nathan. The situation was almost too horrible to think about. The worst part about it was that I had nobody to blame but myself if he walked away from me.

  97

  Gemma

  ‘How much longer are we going to have to wait,’ Nathan said. ‘The doctor told us four days, so we should have had the result yesterday. Do you think there’s something wrong with the samples?’ he asked in an optimistic tone of voice.

  ‘How do I know!’ I snapped. I shouldn’t have bitten his head off, but I couldn’t help it. Tensions were running high, and he was breathing down my neck. It was driving me insane.

  Maybe Nathan was right, but the last thing I wanted was for him to get his hopes up. You could cut the atmosphere in the room with a knife. Even Alfie’s normally super smooth exterior looked ruffled.

  ‘Knuckles, get the quack on the phone and ask him what the fuck’s going on,’ Alfie said before he ran the palm of his hand over h
is slicked-back blond hair.

  Knuckles stepped outside to make the call. Then several minutes later, he delivered the message. The lab had been snowed under, having received an unusually large number of samples last week, so they were running behind schedule. The doctor had already chased the clinic up and had been assured that the result would be uploaded this afternoon.

  ‘If you hadn’t slept with Alfie in the first place, none of us would be in this position,’ Nathan said under his breath.

  My husband had his back to me, so I wasn’t sure whether he’d intended me to hear what he’d said, but I had, and his words stung like the venom from a thousand angry wasps. He seemed surprised when he turned around and saw the look on my face. I was furious. My pent-up anger was threatening to make an appearance. It was bubbling inside me, and I knew any minute now I was going to let rip. I’d made a stupid mistake, but Nathan had also made plenty. I could hear the sound of my pulse pounding in my temple as I tried to control my breathing.

  ‘You were the one who insisted on having the DNA test done.’ I had to dig deep to stop my voice from wobbling. Emotions were running high.

  ‘Don’t try and pass the blame my way. This is all your fault, Gemma.’

  ‘Thanks for your support.’

  The words kept spilling from our mouths in an endless stream. We couldn’t seem to stop them as Nathan and I pointed the finger at each other. Neither of us wanted to take responsibility for the chain of events that had led us into this situation. Alfie observed us in silence with a satisfied smile playing on his lips. I broke off from our heated exchange when I heard the sound of a new notification coming through on my phone. I’d received an email informing me that the Paternity Report had been uploaded. This was the moment we’d all been waiting for. While I read it, it would give Nathan and I some temporary respite from being at each other’s throats.

  I walked over to the table, fired up my laptop and opened the email. Based on the analysis of fifteen independent autosomal DNA markers, Mr Nathan Stone has been excluded as the alleged biological father of Luca Stone, because more than two of Mr Nathan Stone’s DNA components are absent from the DNA profile of Luca Stone. In summary, Mr Nathan Stone is not the alleged biological father of the child, Luca Stone.

  My head began to swim, and a wave of nausea engulfed me as I read the words on the screen. Based on the analysis of fifteen independent autosomal DNA markers, the probability of Mr Alfie Watson being the biological father of Luca Stone is ninety-nine point nine per cent. In summary, the DNA results conclude that Mr Alfie Watson is not excluded as the biological father of Luca Stone.

  The report’s findings didn’t come as a surprise. It was the outcome I had expected. The test proved that Nathan couldn’t be Luca’s father, but seeing it in writing somehow made it feel more real. The DNA test had also confirmed my worst fear, and that threw me into a panic.

  Now that paternity had been established, Alfie would have legal rights to Luca. He wasn’t going to allow another man to raise his son, even if Nathan still wanted to be part of Luca’s life. Alfie wouldn’t be denied his parental responsibility. He would insist on visitation rights and possibly even take me to court to fight for custody. He’d also insist that Luca’s birth certificate was amended. I was almost certain he could obtain a court order to force me to name him as the father.

  My mind was racing with possibilities. I knew it was natural to fear the worst and think your whole world was about to end, but preparing for the worst might not be the best solution. I needed to stay positive. I could be worrying about nothing. Who was I trying to kid? Alfie Watson was not going to let Nathan and I skip off into the sunset with his son.

  As I prepared myself to break the news to Nathan, I became a boiling cauldron of emotion. I loved my husband; even if I didn’t like him very much at the moment. I’d never intended to hurt him, but the test results were going to break his heart. Nathan demanding a DNA test to resolve the paternity issue once and for all had opened a can of worms. Our lives could have been so different if the truth hadn’t come out.

  I knew the outcome of the test was going to crush Nathan. I felt panic rise within me. I needed to take a deep breath and pull myself together. It was time to take a step back and refocus. Catastrophising the situation wasn’t going to help. I didn’t know exactly what Nathan’s reaction would be until I told him. There was no point in second-guessing how he would respond. Our goal had always been to grow old together. I was about to find out whether that was going to happen now.

  I closed the lid of my laptop and stared into space for a moment while I tried to choose the right words. I felt terrible that I hadn’t been honest with Nathan from the start. If I had, this situation could have been avoided. But I’d taken the coward’s way out and lied to my husband. Maybe if I explained my reasons, Nathan would be understanding, and that would absolve me of any guilt. But that would only prolong the agony for him and wouldn’t change anything. It was time to stop being selfish and cut to the chase.

  Taking a deep breath, I got up from the table and went to stand in front of Nathan. I felt numb as I looked at his handsome face.

  ‘There’s no easy way to say this, but…’

  Nathan interrupted me before I’d finished my sentence. He obviously didn’t want to hear me say the words he’d been dreading. ‘I was over the moon when you told me you were pregnant.’

  I could remember that day as if it was yesterday. I stared into my husband’s haunted eyes before casting mine to the floor. I couldn’t bear to look at the shell of a man in front of me.

  ‘When Luca came into the world, he made me feel complete. I have such happy memories of that time, but now I want to block them out. They’re too painful to think about. This has got to be the worst day of my life.’ Nathan shook his head. The pain I’d caused was written all over his face.

  ‘I’m sorry, Nathan.’ Tears filled my eyes and threatened to spill down my cheeks. I needed to strengthen my emotional muscles to stop myself from spiralling into a state of despair. I had no right to cry.

  ‘Can you imagine how I feel? You lied to me and let me think Luca was my son when you knew all along he was Alfie’s.’

  I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling. I wanted to tell Nathan how sorry I was and take away his pain, but how could I find the right thing to say, when there were no words? I took hold of both of his hands and went to kiss the side of his face. He pulled his hands out of my grip, turned on his heel and walked out of the house.

  98

  Nathan

  My wife’s display of emotion stirred nothing within me. I felt hollow inside. Moments ago, when I tried to vent my anger about the situation she’d put me in, Gemma had given me an ear-bashing and blamed me for pushing her into Alfie’s arms in the first place. I’d had to sustain a dose of verbal abuse from someone who was supposed to love me. Now she was expecting me to be sympathetic towards her because she’d opened the flood gates. I couldn’t muster up any compassion. I was the wronged party. Did she seriously expect me to feel sorry for her?

  Alfie had the upper hand now. You could almost see the power pour out of him. He’d looked so smug as he watched Gemma and I exchange hurtful comments. I could see him enjoying my suffering and couldn’t trust myself not to unleash my fury on him. There was only so much I could take. I needed some space to clear my head, so I’d walked out of Jethro’s house and left my wife in the kitchen, sobbing into a tissue. Gemma had broken my heart, and it felt like the end of the world, and yet, she was the one who was shedding the tears.

  I wished I could cry, but at the moment, I was too angry. I felt like lashing out and destroying everything in my path, but I knew that wasn’t the answer.

  I jumped in the Mondeo and clutched the steering wheel with both hands. Tears of frustration started to stream down my face as my anger and sadness overlapped. Gemma had pushed me to the edge, and much as I’d thought I’d wanted us to stay together, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to recover from this
betrayal after all. I thought I’d made my decision, but now I was doubting it again. I didn’t know what to do. Should we stay together or go our separate ways?

  Dad hobbled down the steps and climbed into the passenger seat. He reached across and put his hand on my shoulder to try to comfort me, but nothing he could do would make any difference. My world was falling apart. I wasn’t surprised by the outcome of the test, but it was still difficult to accept it. I felt like the hope that I’d been clinging to like a life raft had been smashed to pieces by a giant wave, and I was sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

  It had taken me a long time to come to terms with Gemma’s infidelity. I’d had an uphill battle to banish the mistrust and suspicion it left me with. When I thought back to the day Luca was born, I genuinely thought we’d put the bad times behind us. As a couple, we were stronger than ever, but bad luck and circumstances had conspired against me and dealt me another blow. Life could be cruel.

  With trembling hands, I started the car and drove along Jethro’s driveway as fast as the tyres would allow. Gravel sprayed up and hit the doors as we made our way towards the road. Once the wheels touched the tarmac, I put my foot to the floor. I needed to put as much distance between myself and the Watsons as possible. Driving on the winding country lanes, with no regard of the speed limit, I was vaguely aware of Dad’s voice telling me to slow down, but there wasn’t another car in sight, so I dismissed his concerns.

  My mind was on other things. I was preoccupied with the damage my wife’s secret had caused, so I ignored common sense, and instead of taking my foot off the accelerator, I went around a blind bend far too fast. The car skidded, and that led to disaster. I wasn’t a stunt man, but what happened next was like an action sequence in a James Bond film.