The Handyman's Summer

by Nick Poff

  On their way from the Newark airport to their hotel, they had passed a rundown pizza joint that looked just seedy enough to be fantastic. They’d retraced their route to find it, and it was indeed everything they hoped for. They ordered grinders and a couple of slices, completely forgetting about the giant breakfast Effie Maude had fed them earlier in the day.

  Their waiter’s name was Vinnie, which made the experience even more enjoyable. The jukebox thumped with the Top 40 hits they had been listening to all summer. Ed could not quite escape the feeling he was listening to reruns of his life.

  “Oh, my God,” Rick said with his mouth full. “Somebody needs to make pizza like this in Indiana.”

  “I think Indiana is too white for pizza like this.”

  Rick laughed, almost spitting food at Ed. “I think you’re right.”

  The waiter brought their grinders. Ed took in the fully-packed sandwiches. “Oh, dear. Would you look at that? Gluttony, here I come.”

  Now, as Ed located the World Trade Center on the skyline, he burped again and asked Rick, “Why have we never made a trip to New York City?”

  Rick shrugged. “We’ve talked about, but someplace else always seems to fire up our imagination a little more.”

  “From here it looks magical,” Ed mused. “Do you suppose it still would be if we drove that rental car over the George Washington Bridge?”

  “I don’t know. It could be Mecca. Or it could be just be Chicago on a different body of water. Do you want to find out?”

  Ed sighed. “Right now I don’t want to spoil the illusion.”

  “That’s okay. I had other plans for the evening anyway.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yeah. When was the last time we made love in our house without someone else around?”

  “Is this a quiz?”

  “Yes, baby. Don’t flunk it.”

  “Umm, sometime in June, I think.”

  “How ‘bout that! You win.”

  “What did I win?”

  Rick turned Ed away from the window. “You win me on that king sized bed with you.” Rick scoffed. “And you wanted to go swimming!”

  Ed nodded. “That’s nice.”

  “Nice! Is that all you have to say?”

  “Well, we could watch TV. It’s Sunday night. The Tracey Ullman Show is probably on.”

  “And it’s probably a rerun.”

  “Yeah, but I love those cartoon yellow people who come before and after the commercials. They’re a scream.”

  Rick put his hands under Ed’s shirt. One went up, and the other went down. “Baby, I can make you scream louder than any cartoon yellow person.”

  Ed gave him a calculating look. “Prove it.”

  Rick pulled the shirt over Ed’s head and tossed it on the TV. “Baby, I thought you’d never ask.”

  ###

  “Move it, you old fart!” Ed grumbled. “Geez, I thought people here were supposed to drive faster than they do in Indiana.”

  “Well, it’s a holiday, baby. We’re probably the only people on this road who are on a mission.”

  They were on their way to their appointment with Ernie Jacks. They had gone to the hotel concierge for specific directions to Custer Hardware headquarters in Fort Lee. The concierge – young, hot, and definitely not Indiana white – had flirted openly with them. Ed and Rick happily flirted back, saying they’d consider his offer of a three way after their meeting. Talking this sort of trash with an unfamiliar hot guy wasn’t something that happened in Porterfield, so they were not about to throw away the opportunity.

  This outspoken Jersey boy was obviously curious as to why they were heading to the Custer Hardware offices on a holiday. Ed and Rick saw no reason to dissuade him of any notion he may have had that they were big shots.

  Ed sighed, wishing they had asked the concierge to be their chauffer. He shifted uncomfortably; convinced the same person who designed airline seating was also responsible for the seats in this rented Ford sedan. “How much farther before I need to turn?” He muttered.

  “Calm down,” Rick chided. “We’ll get there.”

  “I’m nervous.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Rick glanced at the street sign. “Okay, take a left at the next light.”

  The directions were as perfect as the concierge’s chest. In moments Ed was cruising through a deserted industrial park. They located the Custer building thanks to the green and white sign known to hardware shoppers across the nation. Ed parked in the empty lot, and they made their way to the locked doors. Rick located a buzzer. Someone buzzed back, and they cautiously walked inside.

  “Well, in keeping with the whole Dorothy and Toto thing,” Rick said as their footsteps echoed in the holiday-quiet lobby, “do you get the feeling we’re here to see the wizard?”

  “Hope he’s not a humbug,” Ed said, pointing to a directory between two elevators.

  The elevator bell dinged and the door opened. Ernie Jacks walked toward them, his hand outstretched. Ed studied the man. He’d lost that Tab Hunter look of the fifties. His blond hair was thin and graying; his face etched with lines. Still, Ed could easily see Daniel’s attraction for him. There was, he thought, an ease about Ernie Jacks that was attractive and somehow confidence-inspiring. Hope he’s done better by Custer than he did for Daniel, he thought.

  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you gentlemen.” Ed noted he still had that lazy grin Daniel had so admired. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure who is who here,” he said. “I’m Ernie and you…”

  Rick shook his head. “I’m Rick. Pleased to meet you.”

  Ed did the same. “Ed. It’s good to meet you.”

  Ernie took a step back and observed them in obvious appreciation. “Well, I’m a bit in awe of you, considering what you’ve accomplished. I’ll also admit to being nervous, and definitely embarrassed.”

  This allowed Ed and Rick a polite chuckle as they admitted to be nervous as well. The ice broken, Ernie ushered them into the elevator. They exited on the fifth floor, and he showed them to his office, which Ed thought, reminded him of their den at home with the dark, soothing colors and comfortable furniture. “Custer does well by their executives,” he remarked.

  “Yes.” Ernie observed his office with appreciation. “It’s a bit much, actually. As someone who started out stocking paint, I sometimes think all of this money would be better spent on the employees, but there are people above me who get a lot of satisfaction out of their corporate image. Frankly, I think they’ve been watching J.R. on Dallas too long.”

  Ed and Rick laughed. Ernie’s thinking seemed to be in line with their own.

  Ernie sat them on a leather sofa. He pulled a padded office chair over and faced them across a glass coffee table. “I confess I don’t know where to start,” he said, perched on the edge of his seat.

  Ed had an old cowhide messenger bag with him that had belonged to Mrs. Penfield’s husband. He opened it and began digging, asking, “Do you happen to be a cherry soda fan?”

  “Why…yes.” Ernie was obviously taken aback by the question. “I mean, I enjoyed it when I was young. I can’t remember the last time I had one.”

  “Well, that answers one of the last questions we had.” Ed placed the bottle caps on the table.

  “Porter Diamond soda,” Ernie whispered. “Why, I haven’t…where did you find these?”

  “They were hidden with Daniel’s journals.” Ed patted his bag.

  “Oh.” Ernie looked down, visibly ill at ease.

  “Look, Mr. Jacks – Ernie – we don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Rick said in a low voice. “We’ve practically spent our whole summer with Daniel and Evie, it seems, and for our own reasons we’d like to wrap up the story before we sell the house. Can we just be open with each other? We’ll tell you everything we know if you’ll share with us your side of the story. No judgment.”

  Ernie looked at both of them, apparently determining if he could really trust them. He must have ruled in their favor, as he
shook his head with a rueful smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone the whole story. Maybe it’s time.”

  He began with his friendship with Daniel in high school, and an attraction that he found both fascinating and disturbing. “There wasn’t any open or honest talk about homosexuality back then,” he told them. “I was so confused…”

  “We get it,” Rick said softly. Ed nodded.

  Ernie continued, confessing he was relieved when Daniel left for college. However, during a hardware convention in Chicago, he had his next experience with a man. “I began to come up with excuses to leave town to meet other men. I told myself it was just something men did with each other because women were not as forthcoming with sex. I knew better when Daniel came back to Porterfield to begin his teaching career. Seeing him again…I was somehow happier than I had been in a long time.

  “Daniel was…special. I don’t know how to describe it. He had a zest for learning I didn’t have. That was very attractive to me. He wanted to be like one of our high school teachers, Mrs. Penfield.”

  Ed and Rick burst into laughter. “What’s so funny?” Ernie had an uncertain smile on his face.

  “We’ll explain later,” Ed assured him. “Please go on.”

  Ernie described that summer with Daniel with obvious affection. His face clouded though when he recalled Daniel’s first collision with his mother.

  Ed interrupted. “Why was your mother so…such a…”

  “Raving bitch?” Ernie said with a wry smile. “She was a very unhappy woman. Everything in life seemed to disappoint her. My father disappointed her. Her children disappointed her. Porterfield disappointed her.” He shook his head. “I guess some people can live with disappointment, but it made her mean. She struck out at everyone. Apparently, according to her, if she was miserable, then everyone else should be, too.”

  “But she was so destructive,” Rick said, some heat in his voice. “Why was she so determined to destroy Daniel?”

  “I honestly don’t think she was,” Ernie said quietly. “Let me explain.”

  He began to tell them about that awful week in February 1961 when Daniel was first called on the carpet for his visiting professor. “Mom channeled a lot of her frustrations into that John Birch bullshit, but even she thought accusing Daniel of subversive behavior for that man’s talk about Charles Dickens was silly. There were a couple of problems, though. One, she had achieved a certain status in the Birch Society. It made her feel important. And two…” Ernie looked down. “Do you know about the books?”

  Ed pulled the two paperbacks out of the satchel and handed them to Ernie. He dropped the books on the table and put his head in his hands. “I was so stupid, so careless,” he whispered.

  “I don’t think Mom even for a moment considered her son might be a homosexual. She did, however, firmly believe that homosexuals recruited, and she was sure Daniel meant to lure me into a depraved lifestyle.” He shrugged. “Well, I was still so uncertain about my own sexuality at the time, I really didn’t know how to handle it. I thought if I got rid of the books and told her I no longer associated with Daniel that would be the end of it.

  “Well, a few of the crazier Birchers wanted to make a statement, more or less, with the whole professor mess, wanted to let the schools know they were being vigilant. They accused Mom of being wishy-washy, and that was something you didn’t say to Gladys Jacks. I don’t know exactly what they said, or what she thought. In fact, I didn’t even know about her meeting with Daniel in the principal’s office until after it happened. I think she decided to kill two birds with one stone; maintain her standing with the Birchers, and get rid of the homo who had targeted her son.”

  “She was successful,” Rick said tightly.

  Ed reached once more into the messenger bag. He removed the key ring and threw it on the table. Ernie did not seem as surprised. “I figured you must have found them. I sure never did.”

  “We found the money, too,” Ed told him. “We would give it back, but we gave it to a friend who is HIV positive.”

  “Good,” Ernie whispered. “Maybe it can used for something productive this time.

  “I…there’s no excuse for what I did. I was young, stupid, and scared. I realize now I shouldn’t have acted so rashly, trying to convince Daniel to run away.”

  He looked up at them. “I suppose you think I did it to cover my own ass, right?”

  “That’s what Daniel thought,” Rick said quietly.

  “I don’t blame him,” Ernie said. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but I was thinking only about him. I knew what those Birchers could do once they were riled up. I wasn’t worried about Daniel’s job; I was worried about his safety. I wasn’t worried about me. Somehow…well, in the heat of the moment we didn’t seem to understand each other. Daniel was almost hysterical and I was frightened.”

  “The pills didn’t help,” Ed remarked.

  “What pills?”

  “Daniel had been dipping into Evie’s tranquilizers,” Rick explained. “He wasn’t thinking as clearly as he could have been.”

  Ed could tell by Ernie’s pained expression he was reliving that entire last meeting with Daniel. “That explains so much,” he said. “I thought he was acting…strange, but I thought he had a right to be.”

  “So you left the house thinking Daniel would do as you told him to,” Rick said, shifting uncomfortably.

  “And the next thing I know,” Ernie whispered, “he’s dead. He killed himself because of my fear.” He bowed his head and wept.

  Ed reached for Rick’s hand. They both looked at the floor as twenty-six years of grief and sorrow poured out of the man across from them.

  When Ernie finally regained control of himself, Rick said quietly, “Ernie, Daniel didn’t kill himself.”

  “What?” He raised a tear-stained and disbelieving face to them.

  “His journal,” Ed said. “We were able to put together what happened from his last entry. He really only told you he was going through with that plan to get rid of you. He wasn’t going to go through with it because he had no intention of leaving Evie. She didn’t even know what was going on. What he did do, however, was throw down the rest of those pills.”

  “The poor guy was stoned out of his gourd,” Rick said grimly. “When the pills didn’t put him to sleep, he probably went outside hoping the cold air would diminish some of the pills’ effects. He was so out of it he fell in the snow and fell into the train, instead of away from it.”

  Again Ernie put his head into his hands. He was silent as he took in their words.

  “Another thing,” Ed added. “He put the journal back in the hiding place with the keys and the money and the paperbacks. He probably did that so Evie wouldn’t find them. If he was truly suicidal, he wouldn’t have bothered. I think he had every intention of continuing the story the next day.”

  Ernie shook his bowed head. “It’s still my fault,” he murmured.

  Ed and Rick looked at each other. Ed assumed Rick felt as ambivalent as he did in regards to either agreeing or protesting.

  “Ernie,” Rick said, “what about after the accident? It’s apparent you took care of Evie all these years. How did that come about?”

  Ernie went to his desk, his back to them. He blew his nose and cleared his throat. “After Daniel died,” he said quietly, “The guilt I felt was overwhelming. I vowed I would do what I could to help Evie out, but something inside of her had snapped. She did and she didn’t want my help. What I mean to say is, she would only allow me to do so much.” He shrugged. “I did what I could,” he said simply.

  “Daniel’s death changed everything for me. I guess I was naïve. I somehow thought we would be able to make a life together. People would just assume we were good friends. It would work out.” He shook his head. “I was naïve, and I didn’t know what I was up against.

  “My friend Joyce, who everyone assumed was my girlfriend, stayed by me through all of my emotional turmoil. When I finally asked her t
o marry me, I told her everything. There was no way I could chain her to my life without being completely honest. Joyce surprised me. She had had her own bitter experiences with a dysfunctional family. She told me that friendship was the most important part of a marriage, and we should start from there and see where it would lead, hopefully out of Porterfield for both of us. She also convinced me to confront my mother.

  “I went to her and told her she killed Daniel and made Evie crazy. I could tell by the look in her eye she thought so, too, but she wasn’t about to own up to her shame and guilt. She told me I was an ungrateful son, and she didn’t want anything more to do with me. We barely spoke after that, and I doubt we would have at all if it weren’t for Dad and the store. When Custer offered me a chance to join their company and move away, Joyce and I jumped at it, and well, here we are today.

  “Joyce has been a wonderful companion.” His fondness for her was evident by the warmth of his voice. “She might have had a different and maybe even a better life with a truly heterosexual man, but we’ve thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company. Thanks to my promotions and my current position with Custer we’ve had the money to travel and enjoy ourselves. It’s been a good life.”

  He once again lowered his head. “I don’t think a day has gone by that I didn’t think about Daniel, though. I will carry that guilt for the rest of my life.”

  Rick let out a long, gusty sigh. “What happened to your parents?”

  “They retired, more or less, to a little town near Lake Michigan. Mom died a few months later. She lost control of her car on an icy road. Dad died three years later of a heart attack.”

  Ed reached into his bag. He removed the five notebooks, got up, and placed them on the desk in front of Ernie.

  “Oh, Daniel.” Ernie went to his desk chair and began to flip through them. “I forgot to ask. Where did you find this stuff?”

  Ed sat back down. “You know that big stone hearth? There were recesses inside each side of it. I discovered it when I was looking up the chimney, and one of the stones moved under me.”