Takes Its Toll

by Kit Graves

  When they got back to the apartment, Winnie and Tiffany roped them into a board game night, and as Harlan and Winnie became locked in a fierce battle for Park Place, she couldn't help by smile. Everything seemed better than before, more cohesive and more comforting.

  She only hoped dinner with Thom would be the same.

  Chapter 26

  Mornings at Harlan’s apartment were a special kind of heaven. Having slept without the worry of nightmares, Olivia would wake up feeling as sleepy and happy as a kitten in a patch of sunlight. She’d stretch out as much as she could, trapped under Harlan’s enormous arm as she often was, and snuggle into his bearlike chest. She’d revel in his deep, even breathing, safety and warmth pulsing through her.

  And then she’d wake him up.

  It was a constant delight to her how he reacted to her touches. If she’d ever been called to touch Tomer with affection, he’d either ignore her hands or brush them away. Eventually she’d stopped trying. He’d been a coddled child, though, and was still over-attached to his hovering mother. She suspected that Harlan had never been cuddled and pet so much as she couldn’t resist doing to him, and he reacted much like a neglected dog. You’d never catch him admitting it, but he nuzzled back into her every touch, even now when he was mostly sleeping.

  She buried her face in his neck and stroked his chest slowly, listening as his snores faded away. Soon he was turning in to her, curling his hand over her hip. She loved this part, too, how he responded to her so often with unselfconscious arousal. He was hard already, she could feel him against her leg, and she stretched carefully to see what he would do. A soft whine escaped him, and he seemed to wake himself up with the noise, blinking at her at close range until she was rewarded with a sleepy smile.

  “Good morning,” she whispered, watching his eyes shift from clouded grey to the clear grey of a crisp wet morning.

  “Hey, baby,” he murmured back, his hand tightening on her hip to give her a squeeze. “You ready for a workout?”

  She giggled. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”

  He laughed, rolled onto his back to stretch. “No, I meant at the gym.”

  Of course. Today Harlan was taking her to his gym, at Dr. Brannan’s recommendation. She suspected that it was a big step for Harlan, as his gym was his happy place and basically his second type of therapy. They had plans to visit Platinum Gym before her shift at work, Harlan working from home for a while before picking her up for dinner at Thom’s. It was a promising schedule, although she did wish there was more time built in for another kind of workout.

  It felt strange not to shower, but Harlan assured her they’d work up a sweat soon enough, so she slipped into the yoga pants and tank top she’d brought over and worked her long hair into a high ponytail. She wished Tiffany or Winnie was around to help her braid it, feeling strangely nervous. She’d only ever taken yoga or cycling classes before, and that infrequently. Naturally thin, she’d never pursued fitness in any serious way, as Travis had always been the athletic one instead.

  Harlan made them shakes - chocolate for Olivia, some sort of green sludge for himself - and she spent a moment snuggled into him again in the kitchen before they left for the day.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked the top of her head, his words rumbling through his chest and into her cheek.

  “No,” she answered honestly. “Just enjoying this peace first.”

  And beyond their embrace, the woods were quiet, the sounds of people far away. She felt safe here, safe with Harlan and safe amidst the trees and birds that surrounded his little home. Nothing bad had ever happened here, and she felt more and more sure that nothing would. She’d already started spending a few nights a week, and she felt at home there already, although some of that may have been being with Harlan. Since the text and the wall and the beginning of counseling, they hadn’t had any other misunderstandings. She was feeling optimistic again. Bolstered by his unwavering dedication to proving himself, she’d been able to relax enough to be excited to introduce Harlan to her dad. She didn’t have any illusions about giving him a second son again - Harlan was older than Travis would be now - but Harlan certainly didn’t have any family, and it was all she could hope for that the two pieces of her life would knit seamlessly together. Any anxiety about that, well, she would have to work off in the gym.

  Platinum Gym was tucked into an industrial part of town, not too far from the bridge where Olivia worked. Harlan had pulled his hair into a ponytail that matched Olivia’s, and she tugged it playfully as they walked inside. He plucked her hand away, trapping it in his, and they entered hand-in-hand.

  A suntanned man in basketball shorts and a ribbed tank was standing by the front desk, drumming on the counter with a pencil as he looked through some papers. He looked up when they came in, his face breaking into a smile that looked utterly natural on his laugh-lined face. Lean, long-limbed, and with the easy physicality of a lifelong sportsman, he seemed to exist in a different universe than her dark, serious Harlan. And yet the two men approached each other instantly, doing the half-hug with back slapping thing that men always did before the stranger backed up a step to assess their hand-holding with a grin.

  “Olivia, I presume?”

  Olivia blushed, but shook the hand of the man, who was named John, owned the gym, and did all the talking for the three of them. He showed them around - well, showed Olivia around, with Harlan following - and pointed out the area where Harlan had helped to make improvements. Olivia was pleased to see that Harlan had at least one friend who loved him enough to try to impress girlfriends on his behalf. John was a tease, too, and Harlan ignored it but Olivia found herself laughing more and more as the tour continued.

  “- and this is the room where we have our classes,” John was saying, showing them to the window of a room that had a yoga class going on at the moment. A statuesque blonde woman was helping one person correct their pose, aiming their arm straight up at the ceiling.

  “Oh, I love yoga,” Olivia said, delighted. “I’d love to get a copy of the class schedule.”

  “You’ve got it,” John assured her, making finger-guns like the jester that she was learning he was. “And your money’s no good here, you know, Harley here has saved me thousands and made me thousands more over the years, so-”

  “-any friend of his is a friend of yours?” she guessed, smiling.

  “I was going to say any girlfriend of his is a girlfriend of mine, but-”

  “You fucker,” Harlan interrupted, without any real heat.

  “-I value my life too much,” John finished, his perpetual grin getting wider. “That guy over there would kill me.”

  “Oh, no, he wouldn’t,” Olivia disagreed automatically, aware that it was a joke but not able to let Harlan be seen as a cruel or violent person. Not when he was working so hard to change that. “I mean,” she faltered, not wanting to be rude or act like she wanted John to treat her like a girlfriend, “he um. You know. He’s reasonable.”

  She felt like her face was red, and when she snuck a peek at Harlan he looked grimly amused, but John merely raised his eyebrows to Harlan, seeming pleased.

  Olivia stuck to cardio that day, although Harlan circled back to walk her through the weight racks at the end of his workout. It felt nice to do something active, something for herself, but the real draw of the gym turned out to be watching Harlan work out.

  He started on the floor, going from crunches to reverse crunches to a series of different planks that looked utterly tortuous, and even launching into something John called a plank crunch that Olivia had never even heard of. But even from under in his t-shirt, Harlan’s shoulders shifted in ways that started a fire in her belly. Soon she could hardly focus on her own breathing on the treadmill, what with his arms and his back and his sweat and the hairs that escaped from his ponytail and stuck to his cheeks, ignored as he panted and pressed….

  Olivia was quite sure that she wasn’t just overheating from her workout. She actually felt
great upon ending, and remarked as much to Harlan after they’d waved goodbye to John.

  “You’ll be sore tomorrow, trust me,” he chuckled. “But soon you’ll get used to it. If you’d like to go back, that is.”

  “I’d love to,” she assured him, squeezing his hand before getting into the truck door he’d opened for her. “In the meantime, are you up for another workout?”

  They showered together, starting out with soap and shampoo, but soon Olivia found herself thrilling again between Harlan’s heat and the tile’s cool embrace. He worked his fingers against her as they kissed, water slipping through their mouths while she pressed and wriggled against him. He rocked his hips into her and she finally got to run her hands along all his shifting, solid muscles.

  Olivia wasn’t late to work, but it was a close thing.

  Chapter 27

  As soon as Thom opened the door, Olivia was nervous. She could tell he didn't know what to make of Harlan, and she didn't blame him for being uncertain, but the way his mouth was set as the men shook hands said it all. She wanted to drop her courtesies to defend him, but she just hugged her dad and went to greet Eva.

  “Goodness,” Eva said, much less stoic as she took in Harlan's scars, “you look like a Bond villain. Doesn't he, hon?”

  “Not one of the femmes fatale, I hope,” Harlan joked politely, while Olivia bristled on his behalf. She knew Harlan was used to a whole range reactions to his scars, and it was clear that he'd learned to handle it with humor. Thom seemed to relax slightly, so she did too, letting the moment pass.

  “Oh, no, one of the handsome ones for sure,” Eva amended, seeming embarrassed now. “Sorry, George, you're just a striking guy.”

  “Big,” Thom observed on the back of that.”Three times the size of the last one.”

  Olivia couldn't blame her dad for worrying, but her blood still heated in her ears. Harlan seemed on the same page, as she could hear him mutter something like yeah that worked out as they moved inside.

  They sat, Harlan huge against the overstuffed couch. “How's school going, hon?” Thom asked from the kitchen, hovering over the counter as he mixed drinks.

  “Oh, it's good,” Olivia said, fiddling with the hem of the floaty A-line skirt she'd worn. “Semester's almost over.”

  “Oh, that will be a relief, huh?” Eva asked, bustling back over to them with a tray of spanakopita.

  Olivia nodded, and Thom carried the drinks over, handing Harlan his last and fixed him with a keen look.. “And Harlan, you're not a student, I take it?”

  Olivia fought the urge to roll her eyes. She was already old for a student, and Thom’s questioning of Harlan's age couldn't be more obvious.

  “No, Thom, I'm in consulting.” Harlan was polite enough as they kept talking, but Olivia noticed he used the name Thom had offered instead of going with a sir. Not a sir kind of guy, she remembered, privately amused. She really did love his confident yet inoffensive manner. She could only hope her dad would too.

  She tuned back in to hear the men comparing military careers, to her surprise. Thom didn't really talk about that part of his life with anyone but his oldest friends, but Harlan was chuckling at some incomprehensible story Thom was halfway through telling. From behind them, Eva offered a cheeky grin and a thumbs-up. Olivia hid a smile.

  Harlan and Thom were deep in some hard-to-follow but friendly-sounding disagreement, so Olivia joined Eva in the kitchen. “Need any help?”

  “Thanks, hon,” Eva said distractedly, and Olivia noted that she’d used the same pet name for her dad. It felt strange and yet satisfying, preparing a salad together, standing at the kitchen counter like she had with Viola. George had been interested in cooking, but Olivia never had, and yet she got so wrapped up in chopping and nodding at Eva’s stories that she didn’t even notice when the men disappeared.

  Instead she learned that Eva’s favorite book was Be Here Now, her favorite novel Siddhartha, her favorite meal Japanese curry. Eva had also traveled extensively in place of college, and Olivia expressed her envy once they’d finished food prepping and were leaning against the counter drinking.

  “Oh, you must travel after college,” Eva told her, taking a healthy sip. “If you can, of course. I sacrificed everything to do it, and to be honest, I went on multiple dates a week in order to save on food costs.” Olivia giggled, imagining a fiery young Eva and liking the image that conjured up. “My bones are getting older now, but I’m sure your dad would love to help fund a trip.”

  “Oh… we’ll see,” Olivia said, a little uncomfortable lest Eva think she was asking for money. They’d had mostly snowy vacations while she was growing up, as it was hard and costly to travel with so many children. She told Eva about Harlan’s five hours in Italy, and listened to Eva’s descriptions of Florence and Venice in return.

  “I don’t want to overstep or anything,” Eva assured her, reading her hesitation. “I just hear what your Dad says, and he worries about you a little. I’m sure you worry about him.”

  “Not so much anymore,” Olivia said, smiling at her. “But you can tell him… I started seeing someone. Professionally, I mean. Not Harlan.”

  “Oh, I see.” Eva sounded pleased. “That’s wonderful, Olivia.”

  The patio door slid open and the men came back in, heralded by a wave of grill smoke. Harlan was still smiling at something, and Thom seemed in good humor, as well. Olivia looked up when they came in, and when Harlan’s eyes found her, she lit up in return. Eva cleared her throat.

  “Refills, anyone?”

  Their meal was great after so many cocktails, although Olivia noted that Thom stopped after one. It made her heart hurt, thinking about the depths such a good man had fallen to, and seeing how carefully he’d clawed his way out. She hadn’t really stuck around to see, to help. Dr. Brannan assured her that it wasn’t a child’s job to parent the parent, and that she’d needed to save herself before having anything to give toward helping another - citing the statistic that drowning victims often dragged their rescuers down. The guilt was still there, of course, but it was less than her pride in him. And even though Eva and Harlan were new to the table, it felt more balanced. Warmer. Better. There’s love at this table, she realized, although she didn’t think any harder on the form of that love. For now, it was enough that it was there.

  It was everything.

  After dinner, Olivia joined Thom on the patio for his post-dinner cigar. Harlan squeezer her hand before she went, and she glimpsed back to see him joining Eva in the kitchen. She wondered what they would talk about - dating Everetts wasn’t as easy as it once had been, after all.

  Thom settled into his chair and took a few long, slow puffs before saying anything. Olivia pulled her foot up onto the chair and hugged her knee. She waited, knowing he’d have something to say and curious as to what it would be.

  “He seems nice enough,” he said finally, and she smiled to hear how reluctantly he said it.

  “You didn’t expect him to be?”

  Thom sighed a little. “To be candid, hon, I might not have chosen him for you. Just on sight - he’s old, he’s ugly-”

  “He’s not!” she protested, but he held up his hand, laughing.

  “You know what I mean. You always wanted a golden prince as a little girl, a Prince Charming complete with a white horse. Not the motorcycle I saw you two pull up on. Don’t think I missed that.”

  She couldn’t help smiling back. “Okay, okay. But Dad… you know.”

  “I know.” He reached for her hand, squeezing it just like Harlan had a moment ago. They didn’t need to say it: Olivia had been victimized, violated, verbally abused. She’d been broken down already by the richest, most pedigreed boy in the city of Brooksville. What she ended up needing was so much different, and Thom wasn’t going to pass judgement if she thought she’d found it. “I wish I’d done more to help you, Olivia, but I am glad you seem to be with someone who isn’t such an angry person.”

  Olivia bit her lip but said nothing. She
believed in Harlan, but there was certainly anger inside of him, and she didn’t want Thom to know that before seeing him the way she did. She only hoped he could continue to prove worthy of her faith in him.

  Thom squeezed Harlan’s shoulder before the two of them left, and Harlan clapped his back. “Your dad seems great,” he remarked, before they put their helmets on and climbed onto the bike.

  “He is,” she answered, wrapping her arms around his back and hoping, wishing, that nothing would happen to change each man’s good opinion of the other.

  Chapter 28

  Olivia stretched out before rolling up her yoga mat. She'd had a great few classes at Platinum Gym so far - in fact, things had felt peaceful for weeks. The fitness center Harlan had been helping prepare to open across town was having its opening night soon, and he was still fretting over final details between bidding for new jobs, but overall his days were quieter. She had only a month left before winter vacation: Olivia always took summer classes, but this break was shorter, and she was excited for some uninterrupted time with Harlan.

  Harlan also seemed happy. He'd started dropping in on Thom, first to pick up a spice rub they'd discussed, but eventually to talk work: Thom had returned to Weiss Industries, and was hard at work to make up for lost time. Harlan didn't tell her much of what they talked about, but Olivia had gone to a rom com movie with Eva, and knew they'd been meeting near-weekly.

  She'd even stopped worrying about Tomer texting again: slowly the specter of her upcoming finals had taken over all her daily worries.

  Olivia showered before heading out, wringing out her long copper hair and humming a little as she wrapped herself in a scratchy gym towel. When she was dressed and headed out, she hopped into Harlan’s waiting truck.

  “I think John has a crush on you,” he teased, swinging out of the parking lot. “He’s so excited that you keep doing back to his gym. We still on for tonight?”