by Mary Peart
Sybil folded the letter carefully and put it back inside the envelope and placed it on the couch between them. “Have you sent her a response?”
He shook his head no and leaned back against the couch wearily.
“I don’t think you should,” she told him gently. She reached over and took his hands inside hers. “It’s the grieving rambling of an old lonely woman and we should recognize it for what it is. You know you did everything for Celia and there is nothing for you to feel guilty about.”
“Not even for the fact that I was with you while she was ill?” he pulled away from her and she felt the hurt pierce her soul.
“What are you trying to say Matthew?” she asked him quietly.
He stood then and started pacing. “I betrayed her by falling in love with you Sybil. “I was with her by her bedside and I wanted to be with you. I was impatient to leave her and come home to you. I hated spending time with her because it was time spent away from you. If that is not betrayal then I have no idea what is.”
Sybil allowed the silence after the damning words to flow around them as she tried to come to grips with what he had just said. They had never spoken about what he felt after he had stayed away and then came back to her. Even though she had hesitated when he had asked her to marry him after some time had passed she had known that she had wanted to. “I had no idea you felt this way,” she said carefully.
“Neither did I,” he felt ashamed for what he had blurted out to her, but after he had read the letter he felt the flood of guilt and wondered if he had been happy that she had died so he could be with Sybil. “I am sorry Syb but I need to be alone right now.” With that he left the room abruptly and she noticed that instead of going towards their bedroom he went to one of the others.
She sat there with the fire blazing in the hearth and the smell of the delicious stew she had prepared still on the stove and put her head in her hands she wept bitterly.
Chapter 5
She almost decided against meeting him but she had to. She told Amelia that she was going out for a little while and thought about telling her husband that she was meeting Lorna for lunch but decided not to; she had never lied to him before and she had to stick to that. She knew he was going to be extra busy today and hoped and prayed that he would be so busy that he would not have time to call her. So she left it like that. Maybe she had no need to lie to him after all just keep the fact that she was hiding something very important from him. She could not think about that now. She had to do this.
It was snowing lightly when she went outside and smiled at the attendant as he brought the car around to her. She could not help but remember when she had just started working here; pregnant and confused with an old beaten up vehicle that had seen much better days. She sighed in wonder as the powerful engine of the black BMW purred as she put it into drive and entered the stream of traffic going downtown.
The afternoon traffic was a bit heavy and it took her sometime to reach the café and also gave her sometime to think. If he wanted money, she could always offer him some because she had access to a lot of money thanks to Christopher. The first time he had told her that she was on all of his accounts she had been staggered and she had brought up the accounts online just out of curiosity and had almost pass out when she had seen the amount of money in them. She knew he was a billionaire but she never expected to have so much money available to her, she who had had to watch what she was spending in the past.
She still tended to do so and if it was up to her she would be looking at the price tags each time something was bought. “Stop doing that Sophia,” her husband had told her impatiently after they had gone to a particularly posh restaurant and there had been no prices on the menu and she had asked him about it. “We can afford it,” he had told her a little carelessly.
What if he wanted something else that she could not give him? The thought sneaked in and she started shivering from it. She had reached the little café and driven into the parking lot. She realized to her surprise that she had been looking around for a valet to park her car and with a wry smile she climbed out, pulling on her stylishly cut cashmere jacket over her pantsuit and pressed the alarm on the car before going into the building.
She spotted him the minute she went into the building. He had not change much with his shaggy blonde hair a little longer and his scarred jacket pulled tight around him. He looked a little thin, she thought as she made her way over to where he was sitting. He stood up when she came over and went to pull out a chair for her, taking in her stylish clothes and her air of sophistication.
“I am glad you came,” he said softly as they both sat back down. He signaled for coffee and then turned back to look at her. “I was not sure if you would want to eat anything here.”
“I am not hungry,” she found herself studying him surreptitiously and wondered what she had ever seen in him. Granted he was attractive and he had a certain appeal but she saw for the first time how weak his chin was compared to Christopher’s. Their coffee came just then and she nodded to the woman gratefully. “What can I do for you Jeremy?”
He lifted the cup of coffee and sipped before answering her. “I never saw how beautiful and sweet you were back then,” he put the cup back inside the saucer, his hands shaking slightly drawing her attention to them. He was really thin, she thought in concern. “I made a mess of my life and I am afraid there is no way to fix it.”
“You are still young enough to do something about it Jeremy,” she found herself saying. She had come here with the intention of telling him off briskly and ordering him to leave her alone but she found herself sympathizing with his situation.
“It’s too late for me I am afraid. Call it karma or pay back,” he said humorlessly as he gazed off into space. “I have messed up a lot of lives.” He turned his gaze back to her. “I suppose you heard what went on in Australia?”
She was wondering whether to lie but just nodded.
“I seem to do that often” he looked down into the dark liquid a frown on his brow. “I am sick Sophia.” He said it in a tone that had her leaning forward.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Leukemia.” The word dropped like a bomb around them and sent such a moment of shock through Sophia that she could hardly breathe. She had thought that after what he had done to her and his daughter she would have found some sort of glee in the situation but she wanted to cry. Oh Lord what a mess!
“Are you sure?” she had reached out a hand to take his without even realizing it.
“Yes,” his hands trembled beneath hers. He looked down at her slim delicate hands covering his and felt the regret pouring through him. He had come back with every intention of giving her hell but after hearing the diagnosis he had had a change of heart and besides he was so tired all the time anyway. “I cannot afford the treatments: I am supposed to start chemo and radiation soon and it does not look good.”
“I want to help.” She said suddenly making up her mind.
“What?” he stared at her perplexed. That was the last thing he had expected her to say, not after what he had done to her.
“I have the means to help and I want to do so.” She told him briskly.
“I can’t accept money from you Sophia,” he said shaking his head and forgetting that had been his original plan to shake her down and blackmail her. Things had changed drastically.
“I want to help Jeremy.”
“I am sure your husband is going to be jumping at the idea,” he told her a little dryly.
Sophia twisted a little uncertainly on the hard Formica covered seat at the mention of her husband. She had no idea how she was going to tell him about this but she needed a little time. “Leave it to me.” She said forcing a smile of reassurance to her lips. “I want to help.”
“When I came back to the States I had every intention of coming to you and demanding money for our daughter,” his hands had started trembling again and he had to blink back the tears as he stared down at the d
ull red table. Sophia felt her heart jump at his admission. “I blamed everyone but me for the way my life turned out and I wanted pay back.” He gave a humorless smile. “The laugh is on me: I am being paid back all right, for all the miserable things I have done in the past.”
“I had nightmares of you doing just that for months,” she said softly not in the least bit surprised at what he had just told her. “I almost drove Christopher crazy with it and the worry I was feeling and then it stopped just like that.” She looked him squarely in the eyes and continued. “We were prepared to use every cent we have to fight you about it. Christine belongs to us, she was never yours only through blood and we would never let you come into her life after all these years and cause her grief because of your selfishness.”
He sat there staring at her and marveling at her sophistication and confidence, a far cry from the woman he had known before and felt the shiver of regret passed through him for a moment. He was practical enough to accept her help because he needed it. What her husband and Sally were going to say to it was another matter but he needed the help, any help.
“Thank you for wanting to help.” He told her quietly. “But I am going to think about it for a day or two if you don’t mind. Can I call you?”
She nodded. “Did you drive or can I drop you somewhere?”
“I am due at work at the mall in half an hour so if you could drop me there I would be grateful.”
*****
Marcus sat up alert and with his camera aimed as soon as they came out of the café. He had followed Matthews to the eatery and had watched his sitting there and had suspected that he was meeting someone, never dreaming it was the boss’ wife herself. He had snapped the pictures with a lot less enthusiasm than when he had started out and to see both of them going into the brand new BMW together made him almost abandon the gig but he worked for Christopher Tang and he was loyal to him alone and he was going to do his job. He vowed as he switched on the engine to follow them. No matter how unpleasant it was.
*****
Christopher gestured for him to take a seat. “I don’t give a crap what you have to do just get it done dammit!”
Marcus jumped at the tone and almost wished he could just go back out and destroy the damning photos he had in his possession. The secretary had ushered him right in and he had walked into the large opulent office with feet of lead. The only good thing about this was instead of going to some cheap motel, she had let him off at the mall downtown and gone back to the office. His relief had been palpable. Telling the boss that his wife was seen having coffee with Matthews was one thing but telling him that they went to a motel would have been catastrophic. She had seen the man around his wife and knew he loved even the ground she walked on.
“What do you have for me Marcus? It must be something very important for you not to call me on the phone.” He had finished his call and was giving the man his full attention. His brow knitted in a frown as he realized how nervous Marcus was. “You okay?”
Marcus stood swiftly and held the manila envelope in his hands tightly as he faced him around the desk. “I don’t think it is anything boss,” he was aware that he was sweating in the coolness of the office and he just wanted to hand him the envelope and get the hell out of there. But he wanted to make something clear.
“Are you going to hand me the envelope or not?” Christopher asked him mildly, his mind alert.
He handed the package to him tentatively and stepped back. He wished he could read the man’s expression as he took out the glossy prints. He saw him sift through the photos silently, his expression unreadable as he put them back into the envelope.
“She dropped him off at his workplace,” Marcus said hastily as if that would make a difference.
Christopher looked up at him in amusement. “Thanks Marcus,” he told him coolly with a nod of his head. “Keep on him.”
He nodded and scrambled out of the office.
Christopher felt the rage simmering inside him. He took out the photos again and studied them. Marcus was thorough. The camera had captured the sharp blue of her pants suit and the beautiful lines of her face. She was smiling at the bastard as he opened the door for her. What the hell was she doing with him and how had she known he was back?
He got up and went to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a stiff drink and swallowed it down in one gulp. His first instinct was to find Matthews and beat the hell out of him for touching his wife. He did not fear that they were having an affair, he knew her too well and he knew in fact that she loved him completely. What the hell was she thinking?
*****
Sybil wished he would talk to her. He had slept in the other bedroom and she had spent the time being miserable and questioning herself. He had told her that he did not want to talk about it and he had been distant since the night he had come home and showed her the letter. She was beginning to question herself as to the wisdom of marrying him. She was starting to wonder if she had allowed him enough time to grieve. She even found herself wondering if she had allowed herself to get over her first husband.
She threw herself into her work at the bookstore. It was coming up to spring and they wanted to have a ‘spring splash’ and some competitions to go along with it, Lorna had told her that it was a good idea so she had been busy making banners to advertise.
It was Friday evening and she had just made herself a cup of tea and was curled up in front of the fire ready to drink it when she heard the key turn in the lock. She stiffened and then forced herself to be calm. It had been four days since they had spoken other than casually greeting each other and it was killing her.
He stopped in the hallway and she could feel his eyes on her before he came into the living room to stand beside her. “We need to talk,” his voice sounded distant and she felt the blood curdle inside her.
“So talk,” she indicated for him to sit. Whatever it was she could take it, she told herself.
“I need some time alone to think this thing through,” he avoided looking at her. Sybil felt her heat plummet and she could not believe it was possible to feel so much pain.
“You want to leave?” her voice was steady and she could not believe how calm she felt.
“I just need a week at the most to just think about what to do.”
“You want to be away from me for a week?” she tilted her head to look at him. “If you leave now Matthew, there is no coming back.”
“I am not leaving Syb,” he said impatiently. “I just need some time by myself.”
Sybil thought about fighting and even crying and telling him not to leave that they would work it through but she could not find the energy.
“You got it.” She rose gracefully, thankful that her feet still had the strength to hold her up. “Please lock the doors when you leave.” She left him sitting there looking after her stunned as she made her way inside the bedroom they had shared for the three years and he heard when the key turned in the lock. It was only then that she allowed the luxury of tears.
*****
Sophia had no idea guilt could feel so heavy. She could not concentrate on work and even the quaint little inn that had been on the top of her list could not do to keep her focused. She had told Amelia to get her all the information she could on the place and the girl had placed a thick folder on her desk but she could not focus. She was flooded with guilt. She had not confided in her husband and she was feeling sorry for Jeremy.
She had dropped him off at the mall and frowned a little remembering that it was that same mall that she and Lorna had been to when she had bought that sexy lingerie that had almost drove her husband crazy. Had he seen her there? She had wondered as she watched him go into the building.
She had sat in the car and thought about what he had told her. He was dying and she could not believe it. She would never wish something like that on him, no matter what. She had read up on the disease and had googled the top oncologists in the state and settled on a Doctor Murray Sullivan. She had not called
him yet because Jeremy had told her he would think about it and called her back. How was she going to tell her husband what she was planning to do? Because she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was going to help him as long as he needed help. She needed time to think as well. How was she going to bring it up?
“Darling it seems that Jeremy has gotten himself ill. Leukemia and I have told him I was going to use the money you give me to help him to get better. I hope you don’t mind.” Sophia almost laughed as she played the scene over and over in her mind. She could just see her husband’s face and his caustic remark. Would he think that she still had feelings for Jeremy? She wondered. And that was the crux of it all. Her husband was jealous of Jeremy, not because he feared that Sophia had feelings for him but because he had been her first and he was Christine’s real father and that was what hurt him the most.
She picked up the phone and made a call. “Can you steal away? I need to talk.”
*****
Christopher hung up the phone from her. She had called and told him she was going out to meet Lorna and she would see him at home. He had forced himself to answer normal but he had wanted to demand if she was going to see Matthews but he supposed he would find out sooner or later. He had told Marcus to keep watching him so very soon he would know.
*****
“So what’s on your mind?” Lorna asked her as soon as they had been served their drinks. They had gone to Cherry’s, a place that sold smoothies and hot chocolate near the bookstore her mother used to run that was now operated by Lorna herself.
“Jeremy is back in town.” Sophia pushed away her drink and clasped her hands on the table top.
Lorna looked at her startled, her drink forgotten.
“He called you?”
“He did.” Sophia told her the full story ending with how she was planning to help him.
“Mother Teresa has nothing on you,” Lorna’s tone was sardonic. “How does your husband feel about this turn of events?”
