Tower of Gates Omnibus

by Paul Bellow

  “How long do you two think it’s going to take to complete this side quest and get back to the main quest?” Bernard asked a few minutes after leaving. “I’m so tired of the first level of this game.”

  “You’re never going to level up at this rate,” Sarah said.

  She rode in between Bernard and me on the wide, dirt road.

  “I wanted to talk about taking out Magi Inyontoo,” Bernard said. “We shouldn’t mess with him or his followers.”

  “He’s right,” Sarah said. “We have a side quest and a main quest to figure out. Besides, he might not follow us to level one-two.”

  I glanced over at Bernard to see his reaction.

  “Won’t matter,” he said. “Magi has followers and power all through the first three game levels,” he said. “Magictology isn’t anything to mess with directly. A lot of players are wrapped up in his fantasy. They think if they can get enough NPCs to believe in the real world, they’ll be able to get out of the game.”

  “Makes sense, actually,” I said. “At least we know it wasn’t my hack that got us stuck in here.”

  “I’m being serious,” Bernard said. “You should be too. We mess around a lot, but Magi isn’t a person to mess with in this game.”

  “He can’t be all-powerful,” I said. “But I agree we have other things to focus on now. Like tree troll blood.”

  “And increasing the size of our party,” Sarah added. “The more people in our group, the easier the quest will be.”

  “Yeah…”

  My voice trailed off as we continued riding north. Sarah brought out a few pieces of stale bread and half a salami she’d taken from Fort Bliss. We ate while we rode, thankful for anything to help us.

  * * * * *

  We reached Talbot just after sundown.

  The collection of less than a dozen ramshackle buildings could hardly be called a town.

  Everything was closed except for one place at the edge of the main strip. Sounds, light, and laughter emanated from it.

  “Maybe we can find a room,” I said.

  We clip-clopped down the main path.

  “That’ll be The Cowardly Blade,” Bernard said.

  “Maybe we should camp in the woods,” Sarah said.

  “Without a bed?” I asked rhetorically, then added. “No thanks.”

  I stopped my horse and climbed off in front of the single-story wood building. A wave of laughter hit us outside. After the two got off their horses, we hitched our frail beasts to a post in front of the frontier establishment.

  “You two be on your best behavior,” Sarah said.

  Bernard grinned and bounded toward the door. He pulled it open then sauntered in like he owned the place. Sarah and I followed.

  A blond haired elf stood in the middle of the packed room, gesticulating wildly as he told a story. We stopped inside the door to listen.

  “By this point,” the elf continued. “The hobgoblin leader had no idea what was going on. I mean, it was obvious, but he was clueless…”

  “Stupid, miserable goblins,” someone in a far corner shouted.

  “Exactly,” the elf continued. “So being who I am, a human loving elf, I opened the gate and let the pigs out to swarm that worthless goblin flesh-bag!”

  The crowd went wild, laughing and cheering. I walked toward one of the few empty tables nearby. Bernard and Sarah followed.

  As we sat down, the elf walked over to our table.

  “Greetings,” he said with a slight bow. “I’m Sylvar Sylvarum. Are you three new in town?”

  I glanced up, unimpressed.

  “Yeah,” I said. “But not for long.”

  “No one’s in Talbot for long.” He continued smiling. “What are you three doing way out here in the wilderness?”

  “That’s none of your business,” I said bluntly.

  Sarah elbowed me.

  “Do you know where we can get lodging for the night?” she asked.

  “There’s no inn in Talbot,” Sylvar said. “But I may have a solution.”

  “Go on,” Sarah said.

  “I have a place in the woods nearby,” he said, keeping his eyes on her. “Would you three like to stay with me?”

  “No thanks,” I said. “We’ll be fine.”

  Sarah turned and frowned.

  “Where are we going to stay?” she asked.

  I shrugged and said, “We’ll figure something out.”

  “Come, come,” Sylvar said. “You’ll stay with me tonight. But first, let’s celebrate. Talbot doesn’t get many new visitors these days.”

  He turned, raised his arms, and shouted, “A round for all my friends!”

  People cheered again as two barmaids scurried about to fill his order. I estimated at least a couple dozen other people in the place.

  “What are we celebrating?” Bernard asked.

  Sylvar turned, his long, stringy hair flying around.

  “In Talbot,” he said. “We don’t need an excuse to eat, drink, and be merry. May I join you?”

  “Please do,” Sarah said before I could object.

  Sylvar sat on an empty seat across the table from her.

  “We’ll have a drink or three then head back to my tree,” he said.

  Sarah smiled at his shenanigans, but I wasn’t impressed—or even jealous.

  A weasel climbed over Sylvar’s shoulder and stared at us.

  Bernard pointed at it.

  “Um…you’ve got a weasel on your shoulder,” he said.

  Sylvar smiled then reached over and stroked its fur.

  “This is Eddie,” he said. “My familiar.”

  Sarah perked up.

  “You’re a mage too?” she asked.

  “No, I’m a ranger, but I can cast spells,” Sylvar said.

  “Can you help us find a tree troll?” I asked.

  “Tomorrow,” Sylvar said. “They’re all over the Woodshore Forest. Not difficult to find for someone like myself.”

  “We can pay you for your services,” I said.

  Sylvar waved his hand through the air.

  “All that can wait for tomorrow,” he said. “Tonight, we celebrate our new and blossoming friendship.”

  Eddie the weasel scampered over his shoulder and disappeared.

  Sylvar leaned forward, elbows on the edge of the table.

  “Stories of you three are traveling through the realm quickly,” he said. “Are any of them true?”

  “Depends on the stories,” I said. “Who’s talking about us?”

  “Bards and bandits alike,” Sylvar said then leaned back. “The realm is once again moving in a positive direction for humans, elves, and the other higher races.”

  “Not all goblins are bad,” I said, still not sure why I was part goblin in the game.

  A barmaid arrived with a tray of wooden beer mugs. She set them down on the table. Bernard picked one up and drank.

  “What is it?” Sarah asked then sniffed the top of hers.

  “Only the best mead for us,” Sylvar said. “Not to mention it’s the only thing to drink around here.”

  Sarah smiled then took a sip. I took a long drink, wondering how the alcohol would affect us in the game. Would a prison have alcohol?

  I let down my guard and enjoyed the adult beverage.

  After only two rounds, I felt tipsy but in high-spirits. My perception changed on the fourth round. By the fifth, I had no worries or cares.

  “We should go,” Sarah said, slurring her words. “Time to sleep it off.”

  “Terrific idea,” Sylvar said as if the alcohol hadn’t affected him.

  I stood and lost my balance, almost tumbling to the floor.

  “Take it easy, boss,” Bernard said then laughed loudly.

  As the room spun, I waited for the others to stand. I glanced around at the almost empty tavern, wishing it would stop spinning.

  Our inebriated and merry group made our way outside. The cool, night air hit my skin, sobering me up a bit but not enough.
<
br />   “I feel happy to be alive,” I shouted.

  “Keep it down,” Sarah said then stumbled forward.

  “It’s fine,” Sylvar said. “Until we get in the forest. Then he’ll need to shut up to keep the nasties at away.”

  Without a witty comeback handy, I kept my mouth shut.

  “Bring your horses,” Sylvar said as he strode forward.

  We untied our horses then walked after him. Holding the reins helped me steady myself as the entire game-world spun.

  “It’s so beautiful,” Sarah said quietly.

  “Yeah,” I said, wanting to go OOC.

  Sylvar glanced back.

  “Keep up,” he said. “No slouching now.”

  Sarah stepped forward faster, reaching up to him.

  I kept along at my steady rate, not wanting to risk falling.

  Bernard came up beside me and matched my pace.

  “What do you think of Sylvar?” he whispered.

  “Not much,” I said without hesitation.

  “Me either,” Bernard said. “He’s pouring it on a bit thick. Unless he’s just interested in Sarah.”

  I swung my head toward him.

  “You think that’s what’s happening?” I asked.

  He shrugged.

  “You and Sarah aren’t a thing, are you?”

  “No,” I said. “Not anymore…”

  “I’m not sure I believe you,” he chuckled.

  “Quiet,” Sylvar said. “We’re approaching the forest.”

  Thoughts of my father, the game, Sarah, and a million other things went through my head as we reached the edge of the woods. Sylvar led us down a well-worn path between the trees. We seemed to be going in circles, but I couldn’t be sure after all the mead.

  Eventually, the stupid elf ranger stopped at a massive tree next to a slow-moving stream. I glanced up, having to admit it was cool.

  “This is it,” Sylvar said.

  Eddie the weasel scampered off the elf and up the trunk toward the treehouse a few hundred feet off the ground.

  “This is great,” Sarah said, rubbing her hands together.

  “How do we get up?” Bernard asked.

  “Yeah,” I added. “And what about the horses.”

  “They’ll be fine tied up down here,” Sylvar said. “We’re not too deep in the woods. The tree trolls don’t wander out this far.”

  “Good to know,” I said.

  “Eddie should lower the rope soon,” Sylvar said. “I could get myself up with magic, but I don’t want to be rude and leave you down here.”

  I didn’t feel as tipsy as when we’d left the tavern, but I still wasn’t one hundred percent sober. The weasel tossed down a thin rope.

  “Elves first,” I said, motioning to it with a wave of my hand.

  “It’s perfectly safe,” Sylvar said. “You can trust me.”

  Sarah smiled, still lapping up his sugary sweetness. I watched as she stepped over to the ladder and started climbing up. The treehouse looked far away.

  “This is great,” Sarah yelled. “I can’t wait to see the view.”

  “Go ahead,” I said, nudging Bernard with my elbow.

  Sylvar continued smiling.

  Was I being too rough on him?

  “I hate climbing,” Bernard said as he started up the ladder.

  “You’ve got a great party,” Sylvar said as our ex-priest climbed.

  I nodded then changed the subject.

  “How far up is your fort?”

  Sylvar laughed.

  “It’s a full-size house, not a fort,” he said. “And it’s high enough to protect the occupants from most dangers.”

  “Uh huh,” I said, nodding my head.

  “The view is great,” Sarah shouted.

  I looked up and saw her standing on a wooden balcony.

  “Go on,” Sylvar said. “Up you go.”

  I walked over to the ladder and took hold. With my Ring of Spider Climbing on, I nimbly flew up the side of the tree.

  Sylvar levitated up, flying past me. I climbed faster, but he reached the platform before me. I admired the view at the top.

  “It’s something else, isn’t it?” Sarah asked.

  “That’s one way to put it,” I mumbled.

  “We need some elven wine,” Sylvar said. “Come inside, and I’ll get some for us. The night is still young.”

  Bernard and Sarah followed him inside while I held back.

  “We’ll be inside,” Sylvar said.

  I turned back to the wonderful view of immense tree-trunks blocking almost everything. Vines covered a few of the trees. After a few moments, I went inside with the others.

  They sat in a living room with pillows covering the floor.

  Bernard smiled at me. “This is the life, boss.”

  “I’ll be back with the wine in a moment,” Sylvar said.

  When he disappeared to a room deeper in the treehouse, I looked down at the other two sitting on the floor.

  “You two do remember we’re on a quest, right?” I asked.

  Sarah giggled.

  “You need to relax,” Bernard said. “You’re going to go insane in the game. Oh, crap. An OOC penalty.”

  He laughed as if it didn’t matter in the slightest.

  “No OOC tonight,” Sarah said. “It’s not fair to Sylvar the NPC.”

  She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” Sylvar asked as he came back in the room.

  He set a silver tray down on a wooden table then poured us each a glass of a dark red liquid.

  “Nothing important,” Bernard said. “We’ve been under a lot of stress lately, and it feels good to unwind.”

  “You’ve not relaxed properly until you’ve had some ten year old elven wine. This is the last of my stash.”

  I sat down on a pile of pillows in the corner, figuring such a small bottle wouldn’t get us too drunk. Sylvar handed out the glasses.

  “Just sip,” he said. “It’s strong stuff.”

  Bernard tipped his glass back and swallowed everything. His eyes widened briefly—in shock—before a smile spread across his face.

  “Nice,” he said then settled deeper into a cushion.

  I took a sip. The effects of the bitter liquid hit me immediately. A calm warmth spread through my body.

  “Hey,” I said. “What is this? Are you poisoning us?”

  My words echoed through the room as I spoke them.

  Sarah burst into laughter while still holding her glass.

  “It’s going to be a fun night,” Sylvar said.

  When we finished our first round, he poured another. I resisted at first, but the strange, intoxicating wine wasn’t half-bad.

  After our second bottle, things went hazy.

  * * * * *

  Deep in a dream about being chased by a grisly grizzly, I woke to the sound of laughter in an adjacent room.

  Where am I?

  I stood and stretched. A pounding pain in my head wouldn’t go away. I walked toward the loud sounds of mirth in the next room.

  Bernard looked up from his spot at a round, wooden table as I walked in the dining room; plates of food covered most of it.

  “You’re finally awake,” Sarah said.

  I massaged my temples with my fingers.

  “What happened last night?” I asked. “Don’t any of you have a hangover? That was some wicked wine.”

  “Sylvar helped us with his magic brew,” Sarah said.

  I sat down at the only open seat at the table.

  “Can I have some?” I asked.

  “Sorry,” Sylvar said. “All out.”

  “Typical,” I muttered.

  “Don’t mind him,” Sarah said. “He’s not a morning person.”

  “The pancakes should still help,” Sylvar said. “But take it easy on the honey. Elven pancakes are my specialty.”

  “His honey is so good,” Sarah said.

  I nodded, trying to take it all
in.

  Did we really need his help?

  “Can we talk about hiring you?” I asked then reached for a stack of pancakes. “Your knowledge of the woods will help us.”

  “We can talk,” Sylvar said. “But why the rush?”

  “Questing,” Bernard said then raised his cup to his lips.

  I poured some honey on my pancakes.

  “We’ve got priorities,” I said.

  “I’ve not been adventuring in a long time,” Sylvar said wistfully.

  Bernard and Sarah both turned to me, their eyes wide open.

  Was he a PC trapped as an NPC? If so, why was that our problem? We had enough to deal with between the quest and getting out of the game.

  The others chatted merrily as I ate three light and fluffy pancakes. My headache subsided as they worked their way through my body.

  Bernard burped.

  “It’s still coming up,” he said. “That’s the sign of a fine elven wine.”

  Sarah and Sylvar laughed together while I watched in silence.

  Breakfast went by quickly as I prepared myself for tree trolls. From what my character knew about them, we might have trouble. After eating, we climbed back down the ladder to the forest floor below.

  I looked around the densely packed forest environment.

  “Follow me closely in single file,” Sylvar said. “The forest can be dangerous during the day too.”

  “Will there be any giant bees?” Sarah asked.

  Bernard laughed but cut it off quickly.

  “Very funny,” I said.

  “No bees, but there’s other beasts to fear,” Sylvar said. “Follow me.”

  He headed down a path leading away from his tree house. Sarah went behind him with Bernard behind her. I brought up the rear.

  As we walked through the thick vegetation, I thought about the five items we needed to make Dawn Acid.

  Could we finish the side quest?

  We should’ve known the main quest wouldn’t be easy. I blamed myself for getting too cocky, but I’d make up for it by getting us out of the game.

  Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice when Bernard stopped walking, and I almost ran into him. Sarah and Sylvar had also stopped for something.

  “Never mind,” Sylvar said. “I thought I heard a tree troll, but it was the wind. Let’s keep going.”