“Actually, it’s Alton who keeps doing that.” I giggled into my pastry.
“I’m not just doing this to impress you, by the way,” he said. “I mean everything I say to you. It’s like you draw it out of me. At first, I thought it was weird, and that someone had slipped some kind of truth serum into my coffee, but then I realized that it’s just you. Your vibes make me want to talk to you about everything. It sounds crazy, at least to me, but I’ve never liked any girl as much as I like you. And it’s unbelievably cool that you like me, too. Honestly, I was under the impression you thought I was some kind of dumbass wannabe bad boy.”
“First impressions don’t always stay the same,” I replied. “You got in with the wrong people and you made some mistakes, that’s all. If I were to shun everyone who’s done something stupid at some point in their lives, then I’d probably end up talking solely to Smartie.”
“You love that thing, don’t you?” He nudged me in the arm, almost making me spill the orange juice.
“Smartie never lies, and he gives me all the information I could possibly want. What’s not to love?”
He laughed. “As long as he’s not muscling in on my turf…”
“Sadly, he’s no substitute for actual human contact. I have these realizations sometimes, that I’ve just spent an hour talking to a machine.”
“It’s probably no worse than all of us being glued to our phones all the time, though.”
“No, maybe not.” I cast him a side glance, admiring the chiseled features of his sharp, handsome face. He always had a way of rationalizing my thoughts and making me feel less weird. Being the only human in a coven full of magicals made me feel pretty lonely sometimes, as though everyone was in on something that I couldn’t be a part of. Garrett never made me feel that way. Instead, he made me feel included, in both the coven and his life. The Rag Team did, too, on some levels, but there were moments when they seemed to realize that I didn’t possess the abilities that they did. I sometimes wondered if they thought less of me for that.
“I’m sorry about the way I acted when Finch was still around,” Garrett said, as he took a huge bite out of a croissant. “I like to think it was all because of him, but I’d be lying. Being on the bad side of things is oddly liberating, and once you’re in it, it’s impossible to break free without a big event tearing you away. It’s addictive.”
“He was your friend, regardless of how things turned out,” I replied. “That kind of betrayal must have stung something terrible.”
“It did, Astrid. Man, it really freakin’ did.”
“Do you miss him?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes. I know it seemed like we were just these guys who went around making people’s lives miserable, but we were tight. Tight enough for him to tell me about Adley, and how they got away with sneaking around. He seemed crazy about her. I’d see him get funny about it every now and then. I guess that was his guilt talking—if he even feels any guilt. I don’t know anymore. But he and I talked about stuff I’d never told anyone before. Our dreams, our fears, even some of the things we’d done before the San Diego Coven. We had a solid friendship. The real deal. At least, I thought we did. Like, even now, I don’t know if someone can pretend that convincingly, you know?”
“I think there’s more to Finch than any of us know,” I replied. “I don’t like to play devil’s advocate, but it can’t have been easy for him, growing up the way that he did. And we all know what a master manipulator Katherine is. She probably had her claws so deep in him, he didn’t even know life without her influence, or thoughts without her poison.”
“I agree. It’s still scary, though,” he said. “The Finch I knew and the Finch he turned out to be are completely different people. I still can’t wrap my head around it.”
“I get why it’s so difficult a concept to grasp,” I murmured.
He sighed and bit violently into his pastry. “I guess I’m just glad that, after everything, the Rag Team have accepted me… more or less.” He flashed me a wry grin. “As long as I’ve got your vote, I don’t care about the others too much.”
He’d changed the subject quickly, the topic of Finch evidently too hard for him to talk about. I might not have been blessed with magical abilities, but I knew a man in pain when I saw one. There was some residual heartbreak over the lost friendship, and the deceit that had marred it for life. To have been fooled like that couldn’t have been easy to deal with, and to correlate one Finch with the other would’ve been just as harrowing. Finch clearly had two sides to him. As I’d said, I still believed there was more to him than any of us knew, though much of that particular truth lay between Finch and his mother. Our parents had a lasting effect on us, no matter who they were.
“What do you think of this whole Katherine-becoming-a-Child-of-Chaos thing, anyway? I keep meaning to talk to you about it, but it’s hard to get you to myself with everyone else around,” he said.
“I think it’s terrifying.”
He frowned. “Really?”
“Nobody should have that much power. It’s different for the actual Children of Chaos—they’re magnificent, omnipotent, omnipresent beings as old as time. They’ve been crafted from Chaos itself, born of the first particles of magic. But no one should be able to become or replace a Child of Chaos. I’d hate to know what someone like Katherine would do with that level of power.”
He lay back on the picnic blanket and looked up at the brightening sky. My animal instinct drove my gaze toward the flat muscle of his stomach, where a strip of bare skin poked through the bottom edge of his T-shirt. Engaging my logical, non-lizard brain, I forced myself to look elsewhere.
“I know you won’t judge me for saying this, but I kind of like the idea of it,” he said, undeterred by my silence. “I mean, can you imagine the enormous power it would bring?”
“I can imagine that, yes, and I repeat—I don’t think anyone should have that much.”
“Yeah, but think about what you could do. You could do anything. You want world peace, go for it. You want to take revenge on someone, you do that. You want to be rich, by all means. You want to help your friends and family out, you just clap your hands and bingo! You can give them everything they’ve ever wanted, in the blink of an eye.”
“I thought it was the clap of your hands?”
He smirked. “All I’m saying is, it’d be pretty cool. Not that I’d ever do it,” he added hastily. “Still, I can’t deny it sounds interesting. Like, how did she even come up with that? Did she wake up one day and think, ‘Hey, I don’t like how things are, so I’m going to become a Child of Chaos and do what I want’? I’d love to know what her mindset was. She’s scary and all, but she’s sort of intriguing too. Does that make sense?”
“In a way,” I replied tentatively. I could see where he was coming from—I just didn’t like the inference much.
“It’s got to be a huge sacrifice though, if you think about it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, to be honest. To become a Child of Chaos, do you reckon she has to give up her mortal shell, so to speak, and become raw energy, like the rest of them?”
“I honestly have no idea.” I wondered why he was so fixated on the subject.
“Then again, if that’s the case, as a consolation, I guess you get to go anywhere and do anything. Nothing would be off limits,” he continued. “I don’t believe there’s a single person in this coven who doesn’t find that level of power appealing.”
I got the feeling he was almost in awe of Katherine’s breadth of ambition, which worried me somewhat. He’d been led astray before by bad eggs—I didn’t want Katherine snatching him away from me with all her manipulative witchery. In that moment, I was very glad that the cameras weren’t recording audio; otherwise, Garrett would have found himself with a one-way ticket to Alton’s office. This sort of talk was tantamount to treason.
However, I couldn’t deny that his plain honesty, even peppered with his darker thoughts, made him extraordinarily appealing. He
didn’t try to hide or pretend; he simply said it how it was—whatever it happened to be. I admired him for that. Plus, every moment I sat at his side, I kept wanting to let my gaze linger on that small piece of skin. My fingertips were itching to know what it felt like. I imagined it would be smooth and warm, as most bodies were, but there was something about his that lit a fire in me. This is very unlike you, Astrid. Switch off your amygdala before it gets you into trouble.
“I wouldn’t know what to do with power like that,” I admitted.
“Really? No idea whatsoever? Not even in a distant, crazy-wild dream, somewhere on the bottom of your consciousness?” he asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
I frowned. “I haven’t really thought about it. I know some people here pity me for not being a magical, but I honestly think I prefer it. Having Chaos abilities seems like a lot of pressure and responsibility, especially when things go wrong. Which, by the way, they often do.”
“It’s funny, I can’t even imagine a life without these powers, yet you’re more of a magical than me, in a way. It’s hard to explain.” He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me. “Your intelligence is your ability. Not a lot of people have what you have. And I’m in awe of you. I wish I had your brains.”
“That’s kind of you to say,” I murmured, feeling my cheeks burn.
“I mean it. It’s rarer than most magical abilities.” He sat up straight, taking my hands in his. “You know what; there’s another reason I hate all this constant surveillance. If there weren’t eyes on us, I might even kiss you right now. Honestly, it kills a guy’s game, having one of these strapped to him.”
My heart leapt into my throat. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Reading people was more Harley’s thing. I wished I could tell what people felt, the way she did. It would’ve made all my social interactions much easier. I would’ve loved to be able to feel Garrett’s emotions right now… though of course even Harley’s abilities wouldn’t work on a Shapeshifter.
“Seriously, I hate these things,” he muttered, his tone tinged with anger.
I couldn’t blame him. Ever since the implementation of the cameras, the Shapeshifters in the coven had been avoided like the plague, their identities revealed. It was a sorry state of affairs, and it was one that I had so desired to stop from happening. Alton usually took my opinion on board and, more often than not, we were on the same page. With this, however, we seemed to be at opposite ends of the proverbial library.
“I’ve tried to talk Alton into removing the cameras,” I confessed. “I know the damage has already been done, but I’ve attempted to make him see sense. As of now, he still refuses to budge.”
“What’s the deal between you two, anyway?” he asked, arching an eyebrow. “I’ve always wondered how you got here. There are a thousand stories going around, but I don’t believe any of them. So, come on, truth time. How did Alton find you?”
I lowered my gaze, turning my face away. He might have been upfront and honest with me, but there were a few secrets that I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, not even Garrett. And yet, the words started creeping onto my tongue before I could stop them. Deep down, I wanted to be vulnerable with him. I wanted him to see that side of me.
“If I tell you, you must promise not to—” I didn’t get to finish my sentence, as a figure appeared on the threshold to the dragon garden. He loomed larger than life, his eyes narrowed.
“Apologies for the intrusion. Astrid, might I speak with you?” Alton said coolly. “There’s some urgent business that requires your attention.”
Garrett scowled. “We’re a little busy right now.”
“Nevertheless, I need Astrid’s assistance.”
Torn between the two of them, I cast Garrett an apologetic glance. I might not have liked the way Alton went about certain things, but I couldn’t just sit here and continue with my date if he needed my attention. Although, I could smell the ruse from a mile off. I wouldn’t have been surprised if there was no business at all. Either way, Alton obviously had eyes on certain cameras and had spotted me out here with Garrett. What right does he have to do this? I was never going to hear the end of it if I didn’t go with him now.
“Rain check?” I asked hopefully.
“You’re going?” Garrett’s voice was ice-cold.
I sighed hopelessly. “I have to.”
“Can I see you later?”
“I’ll text you when I’m done,” I promised, flashing him what I hoped was a roguish smile. He had a point about bad behavior feeling a little addictive. Does this mean I’m becoming a renegade? A secret part of me hoped so.
With that, I followed Alton out of the dragon garden and through the near-empty hallways of the coven. A couple of magicals passing us by dipped their heads or offered a sleepy “hello,” but he barely acknowledged them. Nor did he extend any chattiness toward me. In fact, he didn’t say a word until we were safely inside his office, as I’d expected. Alton was nothing if not a creature of habit, and he didn’t like to air his dirty laundry for all to hear.
“Astrid, I have turned a blind eye for long enough,” he said, the moment the door was closed. He began to pace, which was never a good sign.
“A blind eye to what?”
“To your romance with Garrett. I don’t like you being in the company of someone like him. It can only spell trouble, and I won’t see you mixed up in anything like that. You’re too precious to this coven to be led astray.”
“What do you mean, ‘someone like him’? What do you think he is?” I snapped back.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t turn this into something it’s not.”
I balled my hands into fists. “No, actually, I don’t know what you mean. As far as I’m concerned, I’m doing what any normal young woman would do. I like a guy, so I date said guy. That’s all there is to it. This has nothing to do with you, and, frankly, I’d be amused to see how you think you can stop me. After all, you’ve already gone so far as to strap a camera to his chest. How was the footage of our date, by the way? Did you enjoy it over your morning ristretto?”
He whirled around, glaring at me. “You don’t get to speak to me like that, Astrid. I am your father, whether you like it or not, and you’ll do as you’re damn well told.”
Seven
Astrid
“You were the one who suggested I keep our relationship a secret, and now you want to play the dad part, bringing down the hand of discipline? You can’t have it both ways, Alton.” I held his gaze, remaining steadfast in my resolve. I wasn’t prone to tears, and it had been many years since I’d cried in front of my father. I wasn’t about to break that excellent streak of stoicism now.
He flinched at his name. “I’ve asked you not to call me that when it’s just you and me.”
“You can’t be my father only when it suits you.”
“I’ll always be your father, Astrid.”
“I mean, you can’t just decide to get parental with me when I’m doing something perfectly normal that you don’t like. If this had happened a few years ago, I might’ve understood, but I am perfectly capable of handling a romantic relationship.” My cheeks burned with anger. “Would you have me be an outcast for the rest of my life, or do I have to leave this coven to get some sense of ordinariness?”
He looked startled. “You wouldn’t leave.”
“Why not, since you seem determined to ruin any normalcy I might have here?”
“I’m worried about you, that’s all,” he said. “Garrett has trouble stamped all over him.”
“No, he has a camera strapped to him. And that was your doing, remember?”
Alton sighed. “I mean it, Astrid. He’s not good for you. He’s not good for anyone in this coven.”
“What are you talking about?” Curiosity was in my blood. My anger wasn’t about to put an end to that. No, if he had something to say about Garrett, then I wanted to hear it come straight from the horse’s mouth.
“I
can’t say anything about it.”
My eyes rolled so hard I thought I was about to detach my ocular nerves. “Then why mention it? Evidently, you believe he’s up to something; otherwise you wouldn’t have alluded to it. So, tell me, what is it you suspect him of this time?”
“It’s… it’s just an inkling I have.”
I gaped at my father in disbelief. “An inkling? You would judge him without any grounds or evidence?”
“I have grounds.”
“Like what?”
He at least had the decency to look sheepish. “His friendship with Finch.”
“His former friendship with Finch, before he realized Finch was a traitor. You can’t be serious,” I muttered. “This is because he’s a Shapeshifter, and nothing more. Admit it—I dare you.”
“I have nothing against Shapeshifters, and you know it.”
“What, so it’s only Shapeshifters who happen to be shaped like Garrett Kyteler? You just said ‘someone like him’ as though he was somehow less than the rest of us. I know what you actually meant, and it’s got nothing to do with fatherly concern. You couldn’t be more prejudiced if you tried!” I shook my head furiously. “How many hoops does he have to jump through for you to see that he’s honest, that he’s loyal? Does he have to be on fire? Must he perform the twelve labors of Hercules before you’ll see that he’s deserving of your respect?” I was on a roll now. “He almost died in that fight with Katherine. You must’ve seen it on the cameras. He fought with us, side by side. He didn’t run off at the first sign of danger, or switch sides when it looked like we were losing. If he was in cahoots with her, he wouldn’t still be here.”
“I did find that quite surprising,” he admitted, as a sudden realization dawned in my mind.
Harley Merlin 4: Harley Merlin and the First Ritual Page 7
