Along Waters of Sunshine and Shadow

by Ava Miles

  Oh, how they’d kissed, on and off for the rest of the night, first in the kitchen and then later on her front porch. The rest of the time they’d talked in a world all their own. Mrs. Sims had come down from her room to make herself a plate for dinner, but she’d left them alone.

  The easiness he felt with her was remarkable, but even more so was the feeling of connection between them when the words fell away and they simply stared into each other’s eyes. In those silent moments, it felt like a deep knowing existed between them.

  They’d danced on the porch too, the soft music from the radio streaming through the open window. She’d been like a flame in his arms, her body as warm and inviting as the night, and he’d struggled with his desire for her.

  Anna had told him she loved him before they parted last night. And he loved her too. Part of him had known it from the get-go. How could he not have fallen for her? He’d never met or spoken to a woman like her. With each letter, she’d unfurled more feeling in his numb heart. Her jokes. Her stories. Her sheer vibrancy. The fact that she’d decided to be a teacher after teaching a neighborhood girl to read when she was nothing but a girl herself. The way she quoted St. Augustine, a philosopher he much admired.

  Billie, his buddy in the unit, had teased him about Anna, and no wonder—he’d mooned over her for years.

  The night had been more romantic and meaningful than any in his life, and as the memories continue to play in his mind, he felt his heart rate begin to normalize, his breathing become less shallow. The back of his throat still tickled with nausea, but the worst was over. He leaned his head back against the mattress and opened his eyes.

  How many hours did he have to wait until he’d see her again? God, he hoped it wouldn’t be too long. She’d promised to pick him up at ten after breakfast in the hopes he would get a good night’s rest. Call him old-fashioned, but he hadn’t been keen on the idea of her driving him around, especially since he suspected she’d insisted on it out of guilt that he wasn’t staying with her.

  Her mother’s image rose in his mind, surrounded once again by the thick white fog.

  Sleep didn’t seem possible, so he rose and turned on the lamp. The clock said it was three thirty-seven a.m. He sighed. It was going to be a long night.

  Anna’s gift of Robinson Crusoe was on the bedside stand. He opened it, remembering she’d mentioned a card, and retrieved the white handmade card with the red-paper heart on the front. The words she’d written made his heart turn over in his chest.

  Welcome home, my beloved friend from across the sea! To all the grand adventures you’re going to have and everything you’ll learn along the way. I’ll be by your side through it all. That’s a promise you can count on.

  Love, Anna

  Her traced the last line, feeling a messy swell of emotion, then set down the card and picked up the book. He’d read it many times, but it struck him that he no longer felt as much of a similarity to Robinson, the hero, the sole survivor of a shipwreck. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t have to do it alone. He had Anna, and she had him. The thought comforted him.

  Morning came. He showered, savoring the feel of hot water on his skin even though the hotel had mentioned the rationing of water and shampoo. He’d missed being clean. The orphanage had been a stickler for it, and he’d heard more than one person say “cleanliness is next to godliness.” He still didn’t know what that meant. But damn if a hot shower, albeit a short one because of the rationing, didn’t feel awesome.

  After shaving and dressing, he touched the book Anna had given him and left to meet her downstairs.

  She was waiting for him in the lobby already, this time in a red dress that matched her lipstick. A soldier was talking to her, and while she was responding, her stiffness conveyed her discomfort. He crossed to her quickly.

  “Anna!” he called.

  “Noah,” she said, turning, her whole demeanor softening.

  The soldier shot a hostile look at him, and Noah raised his eyebrow. “Private. Thanks for keeping my girl company. You ready to go?”

  She nodded, her hairnet bobbing in the back, and he took her arm and led her outside.

  “I had it under control,” she told him.

  “Yeah, you weren’t tugging on your earring,” he said dryly, looking around for her car and finally spotting it. “I know you did, but it made me feel better to dress him down a little.”

  “The way you said ‘private’ was inspired. All tough and manly. I’ll bet you can be fierce when the situation requires it.”

  He thought of the war. “When I need to be.”

  “This is a new side of you.”

  “Hopefully not one you’ll see very often.”

  She reached into her purse and threw a set of keys at him. He caught them against his chest.

  “I realized you were uncomfortable having me drive you home last night, so you can drive me today. Male egos! I’ll tell you where to go if you can follow my directions.”

  There was some sass in her voice, and he found himself smiling. What she didn’t know was that he’d already studied a map of Chicago and had a good idea how to get to her house on South Side. Old habits from the Army died hard. He liked knowing where he was at any given time. “It’s not that I’m not grateful…”

  “But you’re the guy,” she finished as he opened the passenger door. “I’m okay with that. There are a lot of articles in the women’s magazines about men coming home from war. We’ve gotten used to working and taking care of the home front, you see, so we should expect some friction.”

  “Honey, if this is friction, we’re in good shape.” He shut her door and came around. “I’m going to be cutting the grass and taking out the trash too. Any objections?”

  She fairly beamed with delight. “Not one single little objection. Brendan Dougherty will be over the moon about the grass. Thank you, Noah.”

  He was glad she wasn’t going to fight him on that. Martin had asked him to look after them, and to Noah, that meant doing what his friend would have done if he were still alive. “Any other things that need doing around the house—”

  “I’ll make a list if it will make you feel better,” she said, angling her body toward him. “First things first. Aren’t you forgetting a hello kiss? It is the proper greeting between two people who are going together.”

  They were going together, he realized. His slow program had been doomed from the start, and in the light of day, he honestly didn’t give a damn. Last night, while he was dancing with her, tasting the lingering notes of blueberry and coffee on her tongue, and listening to her words in her beautiful voice, the war had seemed so far away. For a few moments, it was as though it had never existed. Like he and Anna had been together forever, enjoying dance after dance after one of her mouth-watering dinners.

  He leaned over and kissed her sweetly on the lips. “Any more kissing than that and we might get arrested.”

  Her eye roll told him what she thought of that. “You’d be surprised how lax those public kissing rules have become, what with the war and all. With so many people saying goodbye, kissing has become a happy epidemic. But a few months back I was walking through the park, and I came across a couple that was really going to town. His hands were inside her coat and everything. That was the only time I thought about telling them to get a room.”

  As Noah turned on the engine, he thought about that man. Talk about lucky. He’d like to get his hands inside Anna’s coat if he were being honest, and yes, get a room, as she’d called it. But she was a lady, and a virgin surely. She hadn’t said the words out loud, but if she’d never French kissed anyone… Plus, she was a good girl—someone who wouldn’t do something taboo.

  Maybe it was his lack of religious conviction, but he didn’t see sex outside of marriage as a problem so long as both parties were responsible and on the same page. He’d been with a few women like that. Never prostitutes though. A few girls had gone that route after leaving the orphanage, thinking they had no
other way to support themselves. Desperation had driven plenty of women to do the same across Europe. Some of the guys had teased him for being a prude—even more so for giving his cash to prostitutes without asking for anything in return—but he hadn’t paid them any mind.

  He hadn’t been with a woman since before he left for the war, in fact. Too damn long, if you asked him. But Anna was different, and he needed to be respectful. Wanted to be. Despite how bossy she got about kissing.

  “I thought I’d show you a few sights today,” she said, settling back as he drove away from the hotel. “I’ve been saving my gas rations. I want to give you a better sense of your new town.”

  They’d talked about that—the possibility of him settling in Chicago. But the war in the Pacific still loomed large in his mind, and he didn’t want to promise anything just yet. Those boys might end up needing his help, or the War Department could call him back into service. Until the war was completely over, his life wasn’t entirely his own.

  “You sure do make a pretty tour guide,” he said, wanting to put his hand on her knee.

  Her head rolled to the side, and he fought the urge to stare. Still, he couldn’t help but dart glances at her. That luminous creamy Irish skin and those blue eyes were so captivating. Then there was her auburn hair. God, he couldn’t wait to see it down around her shoulders. That blonde bombshell actress, Veronica Lake, might have done the War Department a favor by launching the Victory Roll to keep women safe from accidents in the factories, but it was hell on the male imagination.

  “Only one thing about driving,” she said. “I’m not sure if you’re a speedy driver, but if you could keep to the limit, that would be best. If you get picked up for speeding, you lose your gas card.”

  “Sounds like a fair punishment to me,” he said. “Don’t worry. I’d never speed with you in the car. Precious cargo.”

  She kicked out her feet and tugged her dress down when it inched up. “I like it when you talk so sweet.”

  He followed her directions, and soon they were on a main thoroughfare. The size of the city awed him. Washington, D.C. had a strict height limit—nothing could be built taller than the Washington Monument—so the city never felt overwhelming. Chicago had buildings great and small, packed together like sardines in some places, yet it still felt grand, what with the wide thoroughfares of Michigan Avenue and picturesque bridges crossing the Chicago River. Anna made a point of showing him the Chicago Trade Building and the Field Museum of Natural History. The size of the public library blew his mind.

  “I’ll take you there soon,” she said. “Today is about giving you a lay of the land.”

  “I was planning on asking you about the local library,” he told her. “I have some things I want to research.”

  “Then you’re going to love Chicago,” she said. “We have tons of libraries.”

  He turned right as she instructed, but he still watched the red brick building until it faded in the rearview mirror. What kinds of new books might he discover inside that giant building? Oh, his hands itched with the possibilities.

  “Do you like baseball?” she asked, rolling the window down.

  He followed suit, glad she wasn’t the kind of woman who worried about the wind blowing her hair. “I’ve taken in a Washington Nationals game from time to time, but I’m no die-hard fan. That’s probably unpatriotic, although I don’t know who decided baseball was America’s national pastime. No one asked me.”

  “Whew! I’m not a big fan either, although I like going to the games sometimes. White Sox. Not the Cubs. That’s really important. Chicago has two teams and you have to choose a side.”

  That was news to him.

  “The White Sox play at Comiskey Park and have this wonderful player called Luke Appling whose nickname is Aches and Pains. People are going to ask you about stuff like this. You can tell a lot about someone by whom they root for.”

  He wanted to ask ‘like what,’ but the car in front of him slowed down abruptly and he needed to brake. There was so much to take in and remember, and suddenly it all felt like too much. He took a deep breath in, then out. Repeated it. A quick glance at her helped settle him.

  “Do you like any other sports?” he asked.

  “The Bears,” she said. “They’re football, you know.”

  He had to purse his lips not to laugh. “I know about football,” he said in a simpleton’s voice.

  She gave a gusty laugh. “You’re funny. I like that.”

  Looking over, he couldn’t help but smile. “I thought the war had broken my funny bone.” He bent it at the elbow and shook his head. “Looks to be normal.”

  “Okay, back to the Chicago sports lesson,” she said in a strict teacher voice. “The Bears are like titans around here. Everyone is a fan! I mean, who doesn’t like a team of world champions filled with good-looking men in tights?”

  “I remember Martin being ecstatic after they won the championship in ’43.”

  “You need to memorize the name Sid Luckman. He’s the quarterback. Some of the players fought in the war and some served stateside, working during the week to help the war effort and then coming home on the weekends so they could play on Sunday. It kept the morale up, you know.”

  She sounded like she was spouting a military pamphlet, and very adoringly, if you asked him. He was of the mind that every able-bodied man—especially those in top physical condition—should be serving actively on the front, but that was something they could talk about later, when they knew each other a little better. Right now, he was in a car with a beautiful woman, and he wasn’t going to spoil it by being too serious.

  Instead, he asked, “Is there going to be a quiz?”

  She turned quiet for a moment, and he looked over to see why. “What is it?”

  “I’m sorry. I should have thought about how new all of this is to you. Of course there won’t be a quiz. I’m being silly, is all. I’ll just pipe down and let you get a sense of your new town on your own. If you have any questions, just ask.”

  She seemed as deflated as an old tire. “Anna, it is a lot to take in, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like your enthusiasm. I mean, I knew Chicago was the second largest city in the nation, but seeing it…”

  He’d been in other large cities during the war—Paris, Rome, Berlin—but none of them were so bustling. Maybe in their heyday, but the war had changed them.

  “Mayor Kelly wants Chicago to be the friendliest city in the world,” Anna said in her sweet tour-guide voice. “I’m doing my part at the USO, so I know a lot. Come on. Let’s head closer to Lake Michigan. That’s always a nice view. Of course, we have a lot of boats on the lake these days, military ones like the USS Wolverine and Sable and a slew of ones carrying iron ore and coal. I thought you might like to see them.”

  He continued to follow Anna’s directions and took the main road along Lake Michigan. Tents and pavilions dotted the stretch of blond sand, and there were people everywhere he looked. Some of them were swimming in the dark blue water, while a group of soldiers in uniform were playing horseshoes in what looked like a park to the left. He almost scoffed. Horseshoes! When a war was going on in the Pacific.

  “That’s the Summer Recreational Center or what we locals call The Serviceman’s Club,” Anna told him. “It’s something like twenty acres, if memory serves, and all for the distinct enjoyment of our servicemen. Ruffled some feathers, let me tell you, what with it being lakefront property and all. But Mayor Kelly wanted soldiers to have a place to blow off steam. I mean, Chicago is one of the biggest training centers for military personnel in the country. That’s why we have so many places for servicemen and women to enjoy.”

  It was like a vacation postcard for military service. Part of him understood what they were trying to do. Blowing off steam was important, but this just felt wrong. It stuck in his craw that they were acting like this, so lighthearted in their uniforms, when their brothers in arms were still out there risking their lives.

  “I’m
not sure I like all this…appreciation.”

  She reached across the space between them and put her hand on his arm. “When I look at it through your eyes, I can see why it bothers you. This must look like a playground compared to where you’ve been.”

  He thought about the stacks of bodies they’d come across in villages and the ovens… Bile rose in his throat. No, he shouldn’t think about that right now. Not when he was with her.

  “I can’t believe we wear the same uniform,” he said in all honesty.

  He heard her sigh. “We’re not perfect, Noah, but I try to look beyond that and see a city coming together in an amazing way to keep our boys’ spirits up before they ship back out.”

  He felt small when she put it that way. “I remember your letter about looking for a silver lining in everything, even when we have to squint. I just have to squint a little.” He made a show of doing so, but she didn’t laugh. “I shouldn’t judge just because these guys look to be getting the cushy treatment, while I was in Anzio and Normandy.”

  God, in that one horrible day at Anzio, they’d lost more men than any of them could have imagined. And then on that damn beach in Normandy… He’d thought he’d seen everything a machine could do to a human body, but he’d been wrong.

  “So you were in those terrible places! Oh, Noah! I knew you couldn’t say in your letters, but I just felt it. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. The broadcasts said it was horrible.”

  Horror was too small a word for the sight of blood and guts spilling out from good men. Limbs scattered across the ground. The screams. “It was. Where to next?”

  He hit the brakes when he saw the brake lights of the car in front of him. He’d noticed them at the last instant. Anna lurched forward, and his arm shot out to stop her from crashing into the dash.

  “Dammit, Anna, I should have been paying attention. Maybe you should drive.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said, patting the arm he had around her. “I shouldn’t ask you questions like that when you’re driving.”