Along Waters of Sunshine and Shadow

by Ava Miles

  Willie kicked his legs in the air. “I’m tired of him always talking about his dad being home. It’s bragging, Miss Sims.”

  “It is not!” Brendan cried. “I’m glad my dad is back. You’re just jealous my dad’s alive and your brother isn’t!”

  Willie lunged for him, but Noah was ready for it. He pulled him back.

  “That’s what he said, Miss Sims!” Willie knuckled away tears. “That’s why I hit him.”

  Noah felt his throat clog up at the sight of the young boy fighting tears. Here was an angry boy, fighting grief and injustice he couldn’t possibly understand at his age. He couldn’t help but think about Mrs. Sims. She was old enough to understand, but even she didn’t. Did this kind of thing ever make sense?

  Anna knelt in front of the boys. She put one hand on Willie’s back, the other on Brendan’s knee. “No, it’s not fair, Willie. But you know it’s wrong to hit someone. And Brendan, you know it’s wrong to hit back.”

  The boy opened his mouth, but she gave him a look, and he promptly shut it.

  “This war started because someone hit someone, and someone decided to hit back,” she said. “And they kept on hitting back. Really hard. Good men got killed like Willie’s brother, Kevin, and my brother, Martin.”

  She paused, and Noah saw a sheen of tears in her eyes before she blinked them away.

  “I bet Noah could tell you about a whole bunch of other boys who got killed too. I bet he could tell you how senseless the fighting felt. How much he wished that first guy hadn’t thrown that first punch.”

  The boys both turned to look at him. They were so little right now, but they were going to grow up someday. If they kept fighting to solve their disagreements, it would lead to bigger consequences than a dustup on a school playground. That kind of fighting caused wars. It occurred to him there was an opportunity here. Drive home the lesson that fighting is wrong, that it can hurt people, and maybe the kids would learn a better way. Maybe this was how you stopped wars before they started.

  He came around and knelt beside Anna. She rested her hand next to his, not clasping it, mind you, but just touching, like she needed the connection.

  “Anna’s right,” he said. “There’s nothing fair about guys getting killed, and there sure as heck isn’t anything fair about fighting. You can stop that now and be a lot happier, let me tell you, because fighting also hurts you. As much as the other guy if not more…”

  Their eyes grew wide as saucers at that, and he felt Anna lean closer.

  “When you hit a guy—even one you’re mad at—it makes you feel bad. Maybe not in the moment. But later. Willie, do you feel bad that you hit Brendan?”

  The boy was quiet for a moment, but then he nodded.

  Noah turned to Brendan. “What about you?”

  He nodded as well, ducking his head.

  “Fighting isn’t the answer to a problem. Everyone who went to war found that out, and it’s going to take a long while before we get it all sorted out.”

  “My dad screams at night,” Brendan whispered. “My mom says he’s hurting real bad.”

  He looked over at Anna and saw her swallow thickly. She met his eyes, and in them, he could see the pain they all carried around. Should he let her continue? This was her show. Then she lifted her chin, like she wanted him to go on.

  “We’re all hurting real bad,” he said. “That’s why it’s even more important that we be nice to each other. Willie, if you’re feeling upset that Brendan’s dad is back and your brother isn’t, you come and talk to me or Miss Sims. We’ll listen to you, and that way, you’ll get it out of your system without fighting. Okay?”

  The young boy knuckled away more tears. Noah turned to Brendan.

  “As for you responding like you did,” he said. “I know it’s hard not to hit someone back when they have a go at you, but I can tell you from experience that it only makes things worse. Maybe next time, you can step back and ask the boy who hit you why he threw the punch. And if he doesn’t tell you, then maybe you can walk away. Show him you’re not going to give him the satisfaction.”

  Brendan gave him a single nod. “Sure would keep me out of trouble.”

  “So you’re sorry then?” Anna asked. “You know how much we talk about forgiving people and meaning it. I want you both to say it and shake hands.”

  Brendan lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry you thought I was bragging, Willie. And I’m really sorry your brother is dead.”

  There was an audible sniff. “Me too, and I’m sorry I punched you.”

  They each extended a hand, not meeting the other’s eyes, and shook.

  “Okay,” Anna said. “You can go now.”

  They jumped off the bench, and Brendan ran off. Willie looked like he was about to do the same, but he hesitated.

  “Miss Sims, do you ever want to hit anything?” he asked in a rush. “I mean, I know you’re a girl and all.”

  Noah felt his lips twitch and looked away so no one would see.

  “Yes, I sometimes want to hit something—not someone, mind you—but that doesn’t make it right. You know what? I recently found something that makes me stop wanting to lash out. Want to hear my secret?”

  He leaned forward. “A secret? You bet.”

  “It’s a hug,” she said, opening her arms. “They make people feel better.”

  His face scrunched up, and he leaned back. Noah almost laughed at the horror on his face.

  “Yuck. That’s sissy stuff.”

  Anna gave Noah a look, and he nodded. “The two of us don’t think it’s sissy stuff,” she said.

  “But he’s your fella, Miss Sims. Of course, you’re going to want to hug and kiss on him. It’s not for boys like me. Someone would beat me up for sure.” Willie gave a deep sigh like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and then ran off.

  “I wish we could do something more for him,” Noah said.

  Anna put her arm around his back and leaned against him. “Me too, but what we just did… It makes a bigger difference than you know. That’s why I love being a teacher. At their age, they’re still impressionable. They may even listen. You were great, by the way. Sorry if I put you on the spot, but the boys look up to you.”

  He’d noticed it too and had done his best to interact with them.

  “You did good too,” he said. “But you really shouldn’t wade into a fight like that.”

  The narrow-eyed look she gave him made him want to snatch her close and kiss her senseless. She seemed to know it too. Her lips curved, and she blushed.

  A car horn honked, and they looked over. Billie waved out the window. “Hey you two. Are you ever apart? You’re like Siamese twins.”

  Noah caught Anna’s eye roll and decided on the spot not to encourage her to walk him to the car. She didn’t like Billie and he respected that. For that matter, Billie didn’t seem to like her much either. Well, they didn’t have to be bosom friends.

  “I need to go,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll try and get back early so I can cut the grass.” Fortunately she’d consented to let him do little chores around the house, and he hoped alluding to one would improve her mood.

  “If you’re not in jail,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  Was her opinion of Billie that bad? “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  He took off toward the car, already wishing he hadn’t agreed to meet Billie’s transportation associates. More than ever, he wanted to do something that made a difference. Wanted it to feel as weighty as what he and Anna had done for those boys.

  Something like that would give his life meaning and make things better—even if it was only on a school playground.

  Chapter 16

  When Anna woke up the next day, she lay in bed and started to hum.

  She felt so hopeful. Sure, the war was still going on, and it was the second of August, which meant she’d have to endure three weeks more of Noah’s so-called planning, but silver linings abounded. Everything
seemed to be painted with hope.

  Last night after dinner and a picture show at Navy Pier, Noah had told her he wouldn’t be doing any business with Billie. She’d almost cheered. And he’d said Billie wasn’t going to be around much since his new transportation assignments were going to be taking him to Detroit and some other cities once a week.

  Ice cream had seemed like just the thing to celebrate in her mind, and she’d suggested they go to the soda shop she’d written him about in one of her letters. She’d savored her scoop of vanilla, but her enjoyment had been slightly diminished by the look of distaste on Noah’s face. The soda shop was part of an elaborate entertainment complex Uncle Sam had created amidst one of its largest training centers along Lake Michigan.

  Of course he didn’t like it. It was like the USO times ten.

  An idea blossomed. Noah needed to see all of the good the city of Chicago was doing for the war effort. They’d met Alice for dinner downtown a few nights ago, but her friend hadn’t talked much about her job at the airplane plant.

  In fact, no one in the neighborhood ever really talked about that kind of work. It was just what a person did, and in that way, their close-lippedness was no different than any solider doing his duty.

  But Anna had decided it was high time to show Noah the other side of Chicago’s war effort. Today she was taking him out to Alice’s plant under the auspices of dropping off a dress her friend needed for a date tonight. Of course, Alice did have a hot date with a sailor just back from Europe, so she wasn’t lying. She was…being strategic. Noah needed some help liking Chicago, and she was just the girl to show him.

  Then there was her mother…

  Willie and Brendan’s fight had given her an idea. Maybe her mother needed more hugs to help her through her grief. She was going to offer one this morning when she went down.

  Eager, she rose from her bed and got ready. When she reached the kitchen, her mother already had coffee made and was sitting at the kitchen table eating a slice of toast.

  “Hi, Mom,” she said, feeling her body sway as she wandered over to the cupboard for a mug.

  “You’re awfully chipper this morning,” she commented.

  Anna ignored her tone. She’d learned never to let her students’ tones sway her from her purpose, and the same principle applied here. “I am, Mom. In fact, I’m so chipper, I thought I’d hug you.”

  She set her mug on the table and leaned over her mother, wrapping her arms around her.

  Her mother grew tall and stiff in her chair. “What’s gotten into you?”

  Keep going. Rome wasn’t built in a day. “I love you, that’s all. We don’t seem to say it enough.”

  “Sounds like you’re saying it enough for both of us right now,” her mother said, pushing her away.

  She tried not to feel dejected. Picking up her mug, she poured herself some coffee and sat down. “Can we ever say something like that enough?”

  “Yes,” her mother said, crunching on her toast.

  Anna waited for her to finish chewing. “Mom, things are going so great with Noah. I was hoping we might have him over for dinner again.”

  “He’s practically here for lunch everyday,” she said.

  She forced a smile. “But we’d love for you to join us.”

  Her mother took another bite, and Anna knew it was meant to be a delay. Sure enough, she chewed that one bite of dry toast so slowly it was like watching molasses run down a spoon.

  “I need to go to work,” her mother said.

  “Mom—”

  “Anna, I don’t want to speak with that boy again right now,” she said. “What you do in your own time is…well, your own. But you’d best keep in mind that the War Department may call him up soon, what with the Japs not surrendering.”

  This time it was Anna who delayed by taking a sip of coffee. Surely her mother couldn’t want that, not when she knew how much it would hurt her.

  “If he’s as noble as you seem to think, shouldn’t he be over there in the Pacific helping our boys out instead of lollygagging over here with you every day?”

  She was sure her mouth parted in shock. Lollygagging? “If you must know, Noah has been thinking about going over to the Pacific to fight if the war continues. He’s giving it until school starts…”

  Her earlier good mood evaporated and she felt fear wrap icy coils around her again. Three weeks wasn’t very long. Would Japan ever give up?

  “Good,” her mother said and left the kitchen.

  Good? What did that mean? Good that he was considering it? Oh, she just didn’t know what to do. This morning’s silver linings already felt like so much discarded tinsel. She rose and tossed her mother’s unfinished toast in the garbage. She thought of Willie asking her if she ever wanted to hit something. Right now, she did.

  When Noah arrived at the house a few hours later for lunch, she shut the door behind him and grabbed him to her.

  “Hey,” he said, tucking her close. “What’s wrong?”

  She pressed her face into his uniform. He was warm from the sun, and she still felt cold from her talk with her mother. “I just want the war to be done. That’s all.”

  He caressed her back in gentle strokes. “Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”

  They stayed that way for a long time until he pulled away. “Come on, let’s turn on some music and have lunch.”

  They often danced after they finished eating, and she was tempted to put off their visit to see Alice, if only to have his arms around her longer. But she’d already arranged the whole thing, and she knew her friend had gone to some trouble to get them onto the grounds.

  “We’re going to take a ride after lunch,” she told him as he turned on the radio. “I have to drop something off for Alice.”

  He cocked his brow, but didn’t say anything. She started fixing them lunch, and it made her smile when she caught him humming along to the song on the radio. It was good to hear him do that. Good to see the other changes in him too. He didn’t look as drawn anymore, and he’d put on some weight. He’d told her he was sleeping better, but he didn’t talk about his nightmares, and she didn’t ask.

  After lunch, she tossed him the car keys, and they drove out of her neighborhood. The neighbors waved as they passed by, and some of the kids stopped playing ball to run alongside them. It made her feel like she was enclosed in a warm cocoon, and she was happy to see Noah smile and wave in return.

  “You want to tell me where we’re going?” he asked.

  “To the Dodge Aircraft Plant,” she told him. “That’s where Alice works.”

  He gestured to the dress she’d wrapped in brown paper. “She couldn’t have gotten this from you after hours?”

  “She has a hot date tonight,” she said. “Plus, this will give us a chance to get out of the house. It’s a nice day.”

  He glanced over at her. “You’re wasting your gas rations on fashion,” he said with a smile, one she knew was teasing.

  “You’re not a girl,” she said. “Plus, she and I have traded dresses before. With the war on, new clothes are hard to come by. Alice and I often wished we wore the same shoe size too. You’re probably tired of seeing me in these old shoes.”

  His mouth twitched like he was fighting laughter. “Yeah, that’s why I stare at your legs. Easier on the eyes.”

  She socked him. “You’re being fresh.”

  He grinned. “Guilty, and happy to be. Anna, you have great legs.”

  She primly crossed them. “Thank you. Best keep your eyes on the road, though. We don’t need to get into an accident over them.”

  His laughter washed over her, and she leaned back against her seat. Oh, how she cherished these moments with him. She could see the rest of their lives in front of them.

  When they arrived at the plant’s entrance, Noah whistled. “Holy crap, this place is huge. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Anna took her cue. “The Tribune says it’s the biggest factory in the world. It takes up something lik
e thirty blocks, Noah.” Eighty-two acres, to be exact, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. He might be on to her.

  “That is big,” he said, slowing down. “I’m not sure we can get in. There’s a guard post, Anna.”

  “Alice put our names on the list, don’t worry,” she told him.

  “She did, huh?” he asked, glancing over at her. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

  She buffed her unpainted nails. “I couldn’t say.”

  He pulled up to the guard station, and sure enough, their names were there. The guard advised them on where to park so they could meet Alice.

  The long, flat stretch of the parking lot was filled with thousands of cars, and Anna was amazed at the sight of them. She’d known this place was huge, but seeing it was another thing. She counted over a dozen buildings in addition to the main one, which stretched as far as the eye could see. After Noah parked, they walked hand in hand toward the admittance door the guard had told them about.

  Noah seemed to be eating up everything in sight, just like she’d hoped. “It’s something, isn’t it?”

  “They built all this after the war started?” Noah asked.

  “Yes,” she said, marveling at it as well. “When we Chicagoans decide to do something, we get it done.” Oh, that was lame.

  “No kidding.”

  Alice opened the door they were heading toward, and she looked like a grease monkey if you asked Anna. “Hey, kids! The guard told me you were here. You have that same look on your face I did when I first started working here. Isn’t she something?”

  “She sure is,” Noah said, tilting his head back to take in the endless expanse of the brick building and metal roof.

  “Thanks for bringing that dress, Anna.” She gave her a conspiratorial wink. “I owe you one. Noah, I’m taking my coffee break. Would you like to pop in and take a quick look-see? Anna probably wouldn’t be interested.”

  “Oh, yes I would,” she said, wanting to wink back at her friend but knowing better.

  “I’d love that,” he said. “I mean, I knew there were plants like this. But seeing one...”