by Ava Miles
“Yes, I do. I love hearing old Mr. Dunne sing Cole Porter songs like ‘Night and Day’ at the top of his lungs through the window. Or Mrs. Fitzsimmons stopping you for a quick chat in the yard. And even having to break up some of Willie Buckley’s fights with the other boys. Oh, I’d miss everyone.”
“Then we’ll find a way to be happy here. I can go to school close by, and we can find a place so you can keep teaching at St. Patrick’s. It may not be a perfect solution, but nothing is perfect.”
“No, my mother won’t let it be,” she said, pressing a hand to her temple. “Oh, Noah, I believe her when she says she’s going to throw her weight around, even though it breaks my heart. I can deal with the neighbors with you and Father by my side. But how can I come to this church knowing I might run into her at Mass? How can I bear it if she refuses to speak to our children? Of course, the way she’s been acting, she’d better not say anything horrible to them or she’ll hear from me.”
Noah wondered if Mrs. Sims would ever have a kind word for anyone again. She seemed to have chosen her lot in life and was determined that everyone should suffer right along with her.
“I don’t know how we should handle that,” he said honestly. “Anna, one of the teachers at the orphanage used to say, ‘Don’t borrow trouble.’ Can you do that? Sometimes things change, and sometimes we react differently than we imagined we would. There’s no use wasting your energy over what ifs.”
Her eyes took on a look of wonder, and she reached up to touch his face. “Noah, you wouldn’t know it, but my dad used to say the same thing. Hearing you say that, right now, well, I… It feels like an answer to my prayers. Oh, my dad would be so mad at her if he were still with us. Martin too.”
Noah felt chills run down his spine again. Was it another message? Anna seemed to think so. Who was he to question it?
“Maybe your mother will change. They say time heals all.” It was as magnanimous as he could be.
“We can hope and pray for it, I suppose,” she said, sounding as doubtful as he felt.
But they’d have to make some peace with the possibility it wouldn’t happen.
She gave a determined sniff and then seemed to gather herself, standing taller. “I want to talk to Father about marrying us right away. Oh! I forgot. You mentioned going to school. What are you going to do?”
He felt his mouth lift in a smile. “I want to teach. History, I think. I want people to know the past and maybe figure out how to spot trouble before it gets out of control. I want…people to think and search for answers. I want to share what I know of the world and learn more and more as I go along.”
“So we’re to have two teachers in this family,” she said, putting a hand on his chest. “I love it! Noah, you’re going to be a wonderful teacher.”
Her praise settled over him, and he embraced her quietly for a moment. “Thank you.”
“I’m so sorry my mom ruined your wonderful news. And our engagement. It should have been such a happy day. Oh, how I could use a silver lining right now.”
Sinking to one knee, he took her hand. “Let’s do it over then. Anna Sims, I love you. Can’t imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?”
She put her hand over her mouth, as if all her momentary composure had evaporated.
“Way to go, Noah!” he heard shouted across the lawn.
They looked over to see Niall leaning out of an open window on the rectory’s second floor, his fist pumping the air.
He laughed, thinking his friend had better be careful or he’d end up falling out of the window. Then he raised his hand and waved at him. “Father seems to think you’ll say yes.”
“He always likes to preempt.” Then that gleam he loved so much came into her eyes and stayed there for two heartbeats. “You’re darn right I’ll marry you, Noah Weatherby.”
He kissed the back of her hand and stood up, smiling as he heard Niall continue to cheer. “Anna, I have a silver lining for you to hold onto right now.”
“What?” she asked, laying her hand on his chest.
“For the rest of my life, my silver lining will always be you.”
Epilogue
July 1950
Lake Michigan sparkled in the sunshine, and Noah let the peace from the gentle lapping of the water wash over him. Liam’s piercing cry sounded, followed by Assumpta’s hearty chortle as they splashed water over each other. For little ones of two and four they had serious pipes, as Niall liked to say. Noah had never imagined the power his children would have over him until the nurse brought Assumpta out of the maternity ward and showed him his daughter. His heart had seemed to burst in his chest. When Liam had come along, he’d experienced the same powerful emotion, and the force of that love never ceased to amaze him.
Of course, he’d felt that same force the day he’d married Anna in the rectory almost five years ago this August with Niall smiling as he said the words over them. And he’d certainly felt it on their wedding night and all the nights they’d come together since.
Love in whatever form was the greatest force on earth. It had gotten him through a war and helped him start a new life with the woman he loved. His fierce tiger. His Anna.
When she’d told him she was pregnant the first time, he’d told her that he wanted a girl. He hadn’t wanted to send a son off to war. Have to watch as he struggled with all of the things Noah had struggled with since returning from Europe. She’d responded with gentle understanding, saying they’d have to leave that up to God. He’d gotten what he wanted the first time around, but when he’d held Liam, his fear had overwhelmed him. Would his son have to become a soldier some day?
Anna had told him not to borrow trouble, the phrase he’d used with her, the one she’d felt sure her father had sent down from heaven on the church steps as they spoke of marriage.
But trouble was upon them…and he couldn’t shake it off today.
It seemed another war was about to start, this time in Korea. Noah didn’t know much about the place yet or why the U.S. should be so concerned, but if President Truman and General MacArthur were considering military action, he knew there was good reason.
Even so, he hated to see another war brewing. He’d already told Anna that he wouldn’t leave her or their children unless they called him up. He would go if he had to, but even if he didn’t, good men were going to go off to Asia. Blood was going to seep into the soil again. More women and children would be left without husbands and fathers.
His son wouldn’t fight in this war, but would it ever stop?
China had grown more powerful now that Japan had stepped out of the power vacuum, and the Soviet Union was led by a man who could have been Hitler’s brother, Joseph Stalin.
New bullies were rising up again, and it crushed Noah’s spirit to see it happening. He felt so helpless. The past few days he’d even started to doubt whether his current post as a history teacher in the same school where Anna taught was going to change anything.
If this war in Korea went on, his students would be heading over there in a few years. He’d chosen teaching older kids, hoping to influence young minds on the cusp of adulthood. It pained him to think of seeing them ship out. Reading the notices about this boy or that.
“You’re thinking about the war again, aren’t you?” Anna said as she appeared beside him, catching hold of the St. Christopher medal he always wore. “And when I’m wearing my new bathing suit.”
The red suit had certainly caught his eye before they left—she was beautiful in it. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to stop worrying.”
“Noah,” she said softly, yanking on the chain to grab his attention. “Liam’s only two years old. You can’t live your whole life worrying about him going to war. Or any other boys for that matter.”
“I know,” he said, kicking at the sand. “I don’t want to. It’s only—”
“Your dreams have come back since North Korea invaded South Korea,” she said. “I know. I sleep right next to you.” Then she laid the
medal against his chest and hugged him for a good long moment. He put his arms around her, knowing what she was doing. Hugs were good soothers, and they gave them abundantly in their house.
She’d helped him kick those dreams with them, by virtue of always being there to hold him when he cried out in his sleep or jerked awake, his heart beating like the gunfire in his dreams.
“I thought the dreams were over. God, I want them to be.”
He’d talked to Niall about it over their usual whiskey and philosophy night, and his friend had extended his support as generously as he’d done since their first meeting. Besides Anna, Niall had become his most trusted ally in creating a new life, one full of meaning and purpose, even going so far as to hire a non-Catholic teacher at a Catholic school, something he’d had to persuade both the bishop and the school board to approve.
“You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to,” she said. “Your students love you, and your history projects have become the talk of the town. You’re one of the first teachers in the country to bring battle reenactments into the classroom. Why else would Loyola University ask you to come and teach a class this semester? Noah, you are doing your part.”
He’d read about a group in Florida getting together to reenact battles from the Civil War. Sure, it had been controversial, but it had sparked an idea. Why not reenact other battles in other wars as a way of teaching history while also driving home the horrible realities of war? Of course, some parents had expressed concern, but he and Niall had talked to them. Together. And the kids had responded so positively, even the skeptical parents had come around completely.
Loyola had loved both his creativity and his mission. He’d walked on clouds for days after they contacted him. He hoped the opportunity would be a stepping stone from him teaching high school to college.
“Niall likely had a lot to do with that call,” Noah said, giving her a look. “He likes to sing our praises, and the faculty still remember his father’s tenure there. Just wait until they ask you to teach a night class on the modern woman.”
She grinned at that. “I do seem to have a handle on how to be a working wife and mother. Of course, I’m lucky. Mrs. Dougherty takes care of the Assumpta and Liam like they’re her own.”
Mrs. Dougherty went out of her way to be supportive because she was so angry at Anna’s mother. When Mrs. Sims had tried to do her worst over their marriage, almost all of the people in the neighborhood had sided with Anna, and him for that matter, save a few vanguards in Mrs. Sims’ knitting group. The additional weight of Niall and Margaret O’Shea’s influence had turned the tide to the point where Mary Sims was the one excluded from the community’s embrace. She mostly stayed in her house, and whenever he passed it, he could only feel sadness now.
Still, it was an ongoing struggle. The first time they’d run into her had been at Martin’s grave. He and Anna had gone there to lay flowers on the birthday she and Martin shared, and Mrs. Sims had looked at them with such loathing, as if their very presence had desecrated her son’s final resting place. After a momentary standoff, he’d taken Anna’s hand and led her away, his heart heavy.
Noah wasn’t always there when Anna saw her, what with Mass and the market being her places, but he was always there to soothe her when she came home crying. The only silver lining, as they liked to say, was that the neighborhood had risen up and supported the both of them in a way they couldn’t have expected. Now that meant their children would be raised in the kind of place Noah had always dreamed of.
Despite Noah’s decision not to convert, he was included in everything that went on with the men in the neighborhood. Anna liked to say that it was because Noah was a decorated hero, a wonderful teacher, and a good man. The Irish knew “cream” when they saw it. Noah saw Niall’s invisible hand behind their support, of course, but Anna wouldn’t hear any of it. She was a stubborn woman sometimes—a trait he loved. He couldn’t imagine his life without her.
This new war, though, what if it took his new life away? What if…
“What if this war gets as bad as the one we won?” he whispered, his hands fisting at his side. “I can’t bear it. I just can’t.”
A shadow crossed her face, but it passed just as quickly. She smiled at him, that big, open smile he so loved. “What have we done since we were first married?”
When she put her hands on her hips, he knew his tiger expected him to say it. How many times had they had this same conversation whenever one of them was down or struggling?
“We step out of the shadows and into the sunshine,” he repeated.
“Exactly! And we have fun.” She extended her hand to him, and he took it. “Now… Our children are playing in the water and in serious need of a sea monster. Don’t you think it’s time for you to wade in and give them what they want?”
The water droplets lining her collarbone made him think about all the ways he wanted to show her he loved her after they went home and put the children to sleep. She must have read his mind because her lids fluttered all coquette-like, making his body fill with tension.
“You were saying?” she asked playfully, putting her hand on his bare abdomen.
He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “I’ll go be a sea monster.”
“Oh, don’t sound so put out,” she said, laughing. “You’re an incredible sea monster. If I were a child, I’d scream in fright.”
“You screamed when we went to the movies and watched The Legend of Sleepy Hollow last year,” he said, shaking his finger at her. “I wouldn’t say it’s hard to make you scream.” His lips twitched as his mind went to other ways he made her scream, and she punched him playfully in the gut this time.
“It was an animated film by Walt Disney. Who knew it was going to be that scary?”
“If you’d read the book, you’d have known,” he said, playfully pulling on one of her wet locks of hair.
“That’s one book you will never read to the children,” she told him, giving him a look.
“That’s okay. Liam doesn’t seem to want to read anything other than The Poky Little Puppy anyway.”
“He wants a D-O-G,” she wisely spelled.
That kid had supersonic hearing when it came to getting what he wanted. “It’s not going to happen. Brian Dougherty told me not to give in. His kids said they’d take care of theirs. Guess who picks up the poop in the yard?” That was so not going to be him. He hadn’t fought a war to become a pooper-scooper.
He felt the shadows lurking again—shadows that looked a lot like soldiers with guns—but he tried to shake them off. Anna waded in and sluiced water at him. The spray hit him full in the chest. Assumpta and Liam started to cheer, and Anna walked through the shallows until she reached them.
“Daddy’s turned into a scary sea monster again, and we must help him turn back into a human,” she said, pointing her finger at him. “Kids, go get him.”
He leveled a glance at her as Liam threw his red sand bucket aside and rushed toward him like a little concrete truck. He was going to be a stout kid, there was no doubt. Noah caught him before the little boy could attack his legs. His son flailed as he held him out in front of him.
“Daddy! Stop!”
Then he squealed, piercing Noah’s eardrum. He was setting Liam on the ground when Assumpta jumped on his backside from behind. He considered it a victory that he didn’t react like the soldier he’d been. The first time she’d jumped onto him from behind, he’d been filled with that familiar greasy tension. He’d had to excuse himself to breathe through it. He’d felt like shit about that. She was his kid, a little girl. His mind knew she couldn’t hurt him, but the changes the war had wreaked on him were tenacious.
“Way to go, Assumpta,” Anna called out, smiling, but her eyes were pinched at the corners as if she’d feared the jump might trigger something from the past.
He hauled his daughter over his shoulder, wanting to plug his ears when she shrieked like a banshee. “The sea monster has you,” he sai
d in a harsh, throaty voice, one he hoped conveyed the character.
She giggled and put her tiny hands on his face, studying him with those same wise blue eyes of her mother. “You’re not a sea monster. You’re my daddy. Snap out of it!”
His daughter had an uncanny knack of saying what he needed to hear.
“Yeah, snap out of it,” Anna called out.
He glanced over at her. Love was shining in her eyes along with the understanding that had become part of his salvation. He knew what she meant. If there were another war, there was nothing he could do to stop it. And she was right. Worrying about Liam and future world events was a total waste of energy.
“Okay, I’m snapping out of it,” he said, nuzzling his daughter’s neck, making her wiggle. “I’m Daddy. Not a sea monster.”
“Hold me too!” Liam shouted.
Noah picked him up and held both of their children, one in each arm. Then their little arms went around his neck. Then he looked at Anna standing there, the sunshine raining down on her, and his heart swelled with love, that force that seemed to be as never-ending as the tide.
He waded into the water toward her with their two children in his arms, their buoyant giggles pressing the final shadows away.
* * *
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