Walter The Homeless Man

by Tekoa Manning

  No, her brother Daniel had not witnessed most of their mother’s antics. Nor was he there when Ruthie had taken her fist and the hard brush, striking the glass until she had shattered it and cut her fists and arms all the while screaming, “Quit staring at me, I said quit looking at me!” Brenda remembered the horrible, long visits with her mother gazing into space, not really even knowing her own self, let alone Brenda. Occasionally she would notice a bright color like Brenda’s shirt and comment on it, “That’s pretty.” Sometimes she would tell Brenda to leave, “Why are you here; nobody asked you to come.” Sometimes they restrained her wrist and her legs and all Brenda could do was watch her thin frail crazy mother try to break free. Brenda knew it was hard for Daniel, but he was not there regularly and the worse her mother grew the less he came. After her father left, Daniel rarely showed up at all. “Well, we’re busy you know,” he’d say, “we have the twins to take care of,” as if to imply it was easier for her and Burt to deal with it all.

  These comments only felt as if he were picking a scab. She ached over her own inability to bear children. She just couldn’t take it all, the pressure and the guilt of caring for mom and the worry over her father who had just vanished. She had been worried sick until she hired the private investigator who had found him in Kentucky, sleeping in motels with that damn bird and running up charge cards for all his meals. All the while, here sat Brenda at her mother’s side, watching in horror as she gasped for each breath. She had practically dwindled to skin and bones. Oh, she had had enough of all of them! If it weren’t for Burt being so kind and loving and supportive, she’d have gone off the deep end. The funeral arrangements had been the last straw, and who else but Brenda to greet all the family members and try to explain her father’s strange disappearance. She never once told Daniel or any of her closest relatives that her father was fine. I mean what was she to say, “Oh Daddy, well he’s just great. He’s staying at the Red Roof Inn and has his homing pigeon for companionship, not to worry!”

  Burt looked at his wife and was completely at a loss for words to comfort her. The last two years had been more on Brenda than he could possibly know. Between losing her father, burying her mother, and then the constant fertility treatments, well it was all too much. He wanted so many things for her and now this. “The police will be contacting us soon.” He shifted his eyes from Brenda to the telephone and wondered if she was up for it all.

  “I better call in to work Burt; Janet will have to come in today,” she said as if she were preparing herself for the next twenty-four hours.

  Her freckled skin was covered in hives and she repeatedly rubbed her eyes, a habit her mother had warned her would cause wrinkles. She could still see her now, showing her how to apply the under eye lifting cream. She slumped to the bathroom and began to blow dry her massive thick red hair. It was the color of a campfire, warm and glowing, and she had enough to cover several heads, but Brenda always thought it was her glory. Her friends at the bank had short bobs and hip new looks. They were forever after her to update her style but Brenda was quite content. Burt had always loved it, so she figured, as the old rhetoric goes, “If it ain't broke why fix it.” She hated that saying actually, but what else could she say.

  Brenda walked out of the bathroom and poured herself a cup of coffee. She walked to the refrigerator and opened the milk cap then poured a splash of liquid into her cup. As long as it looked like mud she could drink it. About that time the phone rang and Burt yelled from the living room, “It’s Daniel. Brenda you better take it.”

  “Oh, give me the phone!” She was half put out with him anyway. She picked up the phone and without saying hello spoke into the mouthpiece, “Yes Daniel, I saw the news bulletin.” She heard her brother on the other end blabbering about his job at the office and how Jessica and Jessie had contracted a cold at the daycare. Finally, she decided to stop him in mid-sentence, “Daniel you go on to work and leave this to Sandra. The police will stop by, I am sure, and possibly put a trace on any incoming phone calls, so calm down.” He stopped and was silent for a moment then started whining about how he wished he had a normal family like Sandra’s.

  “Come on Brenda, you know I’m worried about Dad. The truth is I was glad to see he was still kicking. We just went through so much with Mom and now this.” Brenda could hear his voice repeating over and over the word “we,” but she knew it was really her that went through so much. He wasn’t even there at the end, well how convenient.

  “Okay Daniel, well just call me if you hear anything or see anything. I’ve taken off today, or should I have said have Sandra call me if she hears anything.”

  Daniel stuttered something and then said, “Brenda, I sure hope Dad isn’t really guilty of all those things. I am sure there must be a mistake, but, of course, now Sandra’s all upset and saying even if he is found innocent she doesn’t want him around the twins, well not alone anyway. She keeps saying if he’s sick like Mom he won’t be able to come here and live. I just don’t know what’s going on; I mean Dad was fine until Mom got sick.”

  Brenda had heard enough, “Okay Daniel, I’ll be in touch.” She walked to the kitchen and opened the bottle of aspirin and shook out three or four not counting and tossed them down. She couldn’t stand snobby Sandra; hey come to think of it that should be her nickname thought Brenda, “Snobby Sandra!” And to top it all off, she was at church every time the doors were open. I mean really. This is why people don’t bother with organized religion anymore. Everyone seems so fake, she thought. The things that lady complained about, please, she had had enough. She used to call Brenda over the smallest problems, hell a six-year-old could have figured them out. Her nails were manicured and so were her clothes. She had to get her roots done every six weeks and she kept the twins dressed to the nines. She had a maid and a membership at the country club. They took a vacation every year and went on a cruise boat once a year as well. She was a selfish spoiled baby who had never grown up and Daniel treated her like one. He was worse than her own father had been towards her mother.

  Brenda was thankful she was a strong woman who could tend to her own problems without going to others for pity. She walked to the bedroom and changed into a comfortable sweat outfit with a zip up jacket. It was still rather cold outside, but now that she was off she thought she’d walk Sam their German shepherd and have Burt go back to bed. He usually didn’t get in until midnight or later since the overtime at the plant had steadily increased. He never went directly to sleep but watched television, sometimes until two or three in the morning. She put on her socks and sneakers and grabbed Sam’s leash. The sun was beginning to come up in the distance, and she thought a brisk walk would do her good.

  Destination

  Chapter 23

  Buddy paid the tab at the diner and they headed back outside into the cold. Walter climbed into the truck with his belly full and a hot cup of coffee to go. Strangely coffee had an opposite effect on Walter, and it seemed to help him sleep. He was ready for a nap, but he had a feeling Buddy was a talker. The knot on his head had gone down tremendously and he felt better than he had in months. He took the toboggan off and settled back into the seat.

  “How far you want to go, Clay?” Buddy asked as he shifted gears.

  “Take me as far as the Tennessee line, if that’s alright?”

  “You got family there?” Buddy asked, eyeing Walter. Walter didn’t know what to do. He knew the police were looking for him and he knew that his info would be coming across that CB radio. He knew Buddy was naive when it came to women, but he had a feeling Buddy would put two and two together before long. But where else was there to go? Walter knew he couldn’t go to Daniel or Brenda’s homes. He knew the police would be looking there. He thought long and hard about what he should do, and the best he could come up with was to go wherever Buddy was going, live like he had for the past year, and pray that the truth would come out in the end. Walter looked at Buddy and decided to be honest.

  “Well, I used to have f
amily in Tennessee. Truth is I’ve been running from my mistakes for a while.”

  “Well, you never did tell me why you were dressed so well or why you were hitching a ride?”

  Walter went to scratch his head and felt the bruise that was healing giving him an itch. “Well Buddy, I lost my wife over a year ago. When I lost her I just didn’t find anything exciting anymore. The sun wasn’t as bright and the sky wasn’t as blue, food didn’t taste as good, and breathing became a chore. I woke up each morning and reached for her like I had for years and she wasn’t there, Buddy. I guess I been trying to hurry up and finish this life so I can go be with her. The home we shared became a prison and I have lost my compass. So to answer your question, I don’t know where I’m going and can’t deal with what I lost. You ever feel as if you are wishing your life away?”

  Buddy looked at Walter and thought he was one of the most honest, raw men he’d ever met. Most men he knew would never admit to loving a woman that much. Buddy thought about his grandparents. They married during the great depression, never had much but love. He remembered after their fiftieth wedding anniversary his grandfather, Stewart had taken his grandmother Daisy’s hand and looked her in the eye, knowing that his time was short, he said, “Daisy how about we just get in that ole pickup truck of mine and drive off the road. That way I won’t leave you behind, and you won’t leave me?” Buddy ran his finger through his beard and thought about how much he missed them both and how much people take other people for granted while they are here.

  “Yes Clay, I understand how you feel, I miss Sheila every day. I am so sorry for your loss. The way you describe your wife brings up memories of my grandparents. Now that was true love. They don’t make it like that anymore. Nope, sure don’t make um like that.”

  Walter laid his head back and asked Buddy if he cared if he napped a bit, then closed his eyes and tried to drown out the CB radio. The truck hummed along the interstate, and Walter had left Buddy with plenty to think about.

  Daniel

  Chapter 24

  Daniel hung up the phone and felt hurt. He could sense the tension in his sister’s voice. He wished she had not had to go through so much. He wished he could explain why he hadn’t been there for her during their mother’s horrible death, but Sandra just didn’t want to worry Brenda. Sandra had insisted that it would be too much for Brenda to take in, and she didn’t feel the time was right. Since the doctors had diagnosed his wife with Multiple Sclerosis, their lives had changed from being carefree and enjoying their twins to living in complete stress.

  Brenda didn’t understand that the reason his wife called and repeatedly asked her the same questions was because her memory was failing. The truth was, he was scared to leave her with the twins alone, that’s why he had put them in daycare, but Brenda just felt Sandra was being lazy. She didn’t understand that she had caught the kitchen on fire and almost wrecked the car with the twins inside. She didn’t understand that the few times she went to the nursing home to see Ruthie she had become so fatigued it left her in bed for days afterward. Brenda did not know that his wife’s bladder refused to empty, and now at thirty-five years of age she wore pads in case of accidents.

  He felt as if he had three children now to look after. Thank God for Beanie their neighbor, who checked in on her while he was at work. He hated going to visit his mother because it hurt so bad and made him only think of what he might have to go through later with Sandra. He was starting to feel a secret bond with his father that he’d never before shared; it was a bond of common suffering. He tried to get Sandra to let him confide in his sister, but she just said she wanted to wait until after the funeral. Then she had told her parents and her brother Don.

  It seemed instead of this helping the situation, it had made it much worse. Sandra felt that it had only been a burden on her parents. Her brother was forever sending her organic diets to try and telling her that all she needed to do was exercise. Then Daniel had to listen to Sandra cry for hours because her brother Don was always telling her she looked fine and that she would feel better if she would get out of bed and get some fresh air and sunshine. He was unaware that the sun and the heat could put her in the hospital and had done just that, leaving Sandra for two days on a steroid drip, the two days right after his father had disappeared. He couldn’t leave his wife, she needed him, and he needed her. He missed his old wife, the woman he had married. She was carefree and full of energy. They had no sex life now and honestly he was tired of hearing about her aches and pains. He was sure that she felt by telling him over and over again it was her way of saying, “Daniel I am sorry I am such a horrible wife.” He felt that in his spirit and picked up and detected the little jabs she spoke. She felt like such a failure as a mother and a wife. She had even told him that she wanted to die.

  But the worst was when she told him to just go ahead and find another woman because she was not a wife anymore. She had said there was no reason for him and the twins to suffer with her. “Go meet someone else and get out there and enjoy life. This is no way for a young handsome man to live.” He hated the way she talked. Of course, she would get out of bed and read to the twins and watch a movie with them on good days, but they seemed to be few and far between. The neurologist said it was an exacerbation period and that she would come out of it, but Daniel felt the stress of his mother’s death and his father’s disappearance had not helped matters.

  Daniel had pressed Sandra while she was in the hospital to tell his family, but she just kept saying that’s way too much for your sister to bear. Plus she never felt as if Brenda liked her. She always felt underneath that Brenda was a little jealous that she could pop out two children with no planning, while Brenda had tried everything possible to conceive, only to fail. She knew Brenda would think she had premeditated it all so that Ruthie wouldn’t get all the attention. So Sandra had told him that she felt it was no use and that Brenda would just think she was lazy or wanted attention.

  Daniel dressed the twins and packed their bags. He knew he couldn’t leave Sandra to deal with the police, so he called in to work as well. He walked up the stairs and kissed his wife on the head, told her he’d be back shortly, and headed out the door with the twins by his side. He had something he had to do, regardless of what happened, he knew it was time. He sighed heavily and longed for the comfort of his mother, but that was out of reach.

  Friends in Heaven

  Chapter 25

  Bradford and Desiree stepped into Dr. Lord’s office. It was actually a historic home with large windows, high ceilings, and a wraparound porch. The inside felt warm and inviting. There were plants and huge paintings of tropical birds and fish; the couches were red and the walls were the color of burnt squash. Dr. Lord had drawing tables and chairs with colorful paints, markers and crayons. She had black hair and warm inviting eyes. She smiled at Josh and knelt down to his height. “Hello there! You must be Joshua Levite.” Josh looked kind of embarrassed and smirked sheepishly. “I’m Dr. Lord, but you can call me Clare if you like? Well, let’s all take a seat,” she said motioning at the bright red couches. “Now I am going to speak with both you and Joshua and then I’ll ask you to wait in the adjacent room for a bit,” she said glancing towards Desiree. “I also need you to sign a paper giving me permission to video the meeting. Will that be alright with everyone?” Josh walked to the table and picked up some construction paper and pipe cleaners. He fumbled with some foam cutouts of animals, unsure why he was here.

  “Now Josh, come sit over on the couch for a bit.” Josh didn’t want to. He had gone to a similar place after his father died, and all they did was ask him questions that made him feel sad inside. He stumbled over with his head down and scooted his butt onto the sofa. Dr. Lord was jotting something down on a clipboard. Her hands were chubby and so were the legs that stuck out of her skirt like two softball bats. She was short and seemed anxious that Josh wasn’t cooperating as quickly as she would have liked. “Now Josh, tell me what you like to do?” Josh didn’t
know what she meant, so he shrugged his shoulders. Dr. Lord smiled, but it didn’t seem as genuine as it had at first. “Oh come on Joshua, what do you like? Do you like riding a bike or roller skating?”

  “Yes,” Josh said, shaking his head.

  Dr. Lord sighed and began to jot down more information. “So Josh, do you have a lot of friends at school?” Josh felt bad because he knew he really didn’t. He was always playing jokes and pranks and getting into trouble.

  “No,” he said, lowering his head.

  “Well Josh, I heard you have a new friend that you met recently. What’s his name?”

  Josh looked up at Bradford and his mother. He knew his mother did not like Walter, but he didn’t know why. “Walter,” he said sadly.

  “Walter, well that’s a fine name,” Dr. Lord said with a bit too much enthusiasm. “And where did the two of you meet Joshua?”

  Josh once again looked at his mother then back at Dr. Lord, “I met Walter in the woods behind my house. He was camping out there.”

  “Oh, I love camping,” said Dr. Lord. “Did he have a tent?”

  “No,” said Josh, “just a blanket and a plastic clear thing to keep the rain away. But he has a really cool bird and I get to keep her,” said Josh excitedly.

  “A bird? Well, Josh, your friend sounds really neat. What did you all talk about?”

  Josh didn’t want to tell Dr. Lord about Walter. He didn’t want her not to like Walter too. “We talked about Jackie.”

  Dr. Lord raised her eyebrows in confusion and asked, “Who is Jackie?”