Walter The Homeless Man

by Tekoa Manning

  “I think I’ll have a shot of Maker’s and a tall draft, what do you have on tap?” Scott gave him the run down and he ordered an AmberBock.

  “Rough day at the office?” Scott smiled as he sat the hefty pour of whiskey down and Bradford downed it quickly.

  “You could say that.”

  “I’ll have another shot, please.”

  Bradford began to unwind and study the male servers that were coming in and out of the dining room. “So Scott, do you happen to know a guy named Benjamin that works here?”

  “Yep, sure do, he’s cooking tonight. Would you like me to go get him for you?”

  Bradford didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to stun him during work. It looked pretty busy in there and he knew this was not something you just did on a whim. “Hello Ben, I’m your real father, nice to meet you.” Hell, what was he thinking anyway? Maybe he just needed to walk away. Maybe he would regret this more than he did meeting Larry. Now he knew why people didn’t go looking for their children they’d given up.

  “Well, I don’t want to bother him now while it’s busy. Do you happen to know what time he gets off?’

  “Yeah, he should be off by nine or nine thirty. He came in first and so he should be the first cut. Would you like a menu, sir?”

  Bradford wasn’t hungry, but he knew he couldn’t sit here and drink for two or three hours with nothing on his stomach, so he agreed to look at one. There was a glass thick wall separating the line cooks and chefs from the dining room, but with a good eye, you could faintly make out their chef hats and blurred images. Bradford looked around the bar at the faces. He wanted to relax but he just kept trying to get the words to come.

  “Hello Benjamin, I have been trying to find you for some time now.” “Hello Ben, my name is Bradford and I just learned recently that you are my son.” No, he thought, that’s no good. What if he acted as if Patti had just let him know he had a son? That might work he thought, and then he decided that he needed to start this relationship with the truth. About the time he had given up and his head had begun to swirl, a pretty young girl sat down next to him and his life would never be the same.

  “Hey Scott, how you doin tonight? Is Benjamin still getting off early?”

  Bradford was impressed to say the least. Wow, she was a looker, long blonde hair that looked like silk half way down her back and beautiful eyes with a nice figure, to boot. She wore glasses that made her look intelligent and strong.

  Scott nodded his head and smiled. “Hello, Marcie! I’m alright, seems Ben’s pretty popular tonight. He’s got you and the gentleman next to you waiting for him to make an appearance.”

  Marcie turned and studied Bradford. “You’re waiting for Benjamin?”

  Bradford was caught off guard. No turning back he thought. I can lie and leave or act like it was a mistake, but with each thought, he knew he couldn’t turn back. He knew he probably should, but he had wanted to find his son his whole life, and now he was going to do it. “Yes, my name is Bradford, and you are?”

  “I’m Marcie, Benjamin’s girlfriend.” She was really curious about this guy. He was handsome and didn’t look like the type to be affiliated with Benjamin. “You’re friends with Benjamin?” Marcie crinkled up her brow waiting for his response.

  “Not yet Marcie, but I sure hope to be.”

  Marcie frowned and looked confused, but before she could ask more difficult questions Bradford offered to buy her a drink. “Scott, bring over a cosmo for the lady and whatever appetizers she would like.” He pushed the bar menu over towards Marcie and smiled, anxious to get to know this young lady who was so close to the son he had never met. “So Marcie, tell me about you and Benjamin, have you been dating long? Where did you two meet” Bradford folded his hands and smiled at Marcie who wasn’t sure how to take him.

  “Hold up, easy now! What is this, twenty questions?”

  Bradford realized he was a little intense and tried to relax. “Sorry Marcie, didn’t mean to pry like that.” Marcie decided to give him the short version.

  “Well, let’s see, we met at the School for the Blind. We both were doing community service work. I guess we’ve been dating for a little while. I haven’t really kept track.” She lifted her martini glass and took a sip of her drink.

  “So, how do you know Benjamin?” She asked.

  Bradford didn’t know how to start. He thought if he started from the beginning that maybe she could tell his son and he would listen. “Well Marcie, this is hard, this is the hardest day of my life. You see, I was engaged to a lady named Patti over nineteen years ago, and she became pregnant. She didn’t want to keep the baby and I did, but she and her family decided to give it up for adoption. And that baby just so happens to be Benjamin.” His hands were trembling, and he was scared to look into her eyes.

  Marcie’s eyes grew huge and her face was without expression, as if she were frozen. “You’re Benjamin’s real father? You’re Benjamin’s real father? Shut the door!” She kept repeating it over and over. “Oh my God, oh my God, he is never going to believe this!” Her eyes were still very large as she looked intently at Bradford and tried to see the resemblance. “Oh God, it’s true, you look a whole lot like him, except he’s thin, painfully thin actually.” She smiled and then laughed, her emotions going up and down. “Does he know you are here?”

  “No Marcie, and I am petrified. I really don’t know what to say. I had the opportunity to meet Benjamin’s father who adopted him and words can’t describe how horrible I feel and how badly I wish I could go back in time and change things. Marcie, do you think you could talk to Benjamin for me and try to explain. Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

  Marcie was so excited about this. She was just sure Benjamin would understand. He needed family, he needed some good stable things in his life, and Marcie thought this could be just what she needed to get Benjamin to open up.

  “I would love to talk to him for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses and pulling down her skirt that had traveled up her thigh. “He should be off soon and I’ll take him outside or you could go outside, or?” She didn’t know how to go about this. “Maybe you should go outside and wait until he’s had a drink, and then I’ll bring him outside?”

  Bradford didn’t know what to do. Nothing seemed right and he was biting the sides of his thumb, something he rarely did. “How about I get a table in the back, and then you can bring him over?”

  Marcie smiled. She liked this idea best since it was raining and she didn’t want Benjamin to leave abruptly. She looked up and saw Benjamin coming out of the kitchen. He had a towel in his hand and a plate of fried zucchini she had ordered as an appetizer. “Hello lovely,” he said, sitting down the plate of food and kissing her on the cheek.

  Bradford for the first time in his life looked into the eyes of his son. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He couldn’t breathe. He looked intently into his face studying every feature and he was forever changed. Before he knew it, Benjamin was headed back behind the thick glass wall to cook. Bradford headed to the men’s room. He could no longer hold back the tears.

  Homeward Bound

  Chapter 39

  Walter looked out the window of the cab at the olive hills that were becoming mountainous. His surroundings were becoming more and more familiar. It was as if he’d never left home, and yet it almost seemed as if he’d never lived there. He thought about all the lives a person lives. I must be a cat he thought to himself and chuckled. “Buddy, what time is it, it’s lookin’ dark?”

  “It’s a little after seven Clay, I mean Walter. Will I ever see you again, Walt?” Buddy looked at the old man he had become attached to and smiled.

  “I sure hope so Buddy. I might want to take a long journey with you one day. What’s the furthest away you been?”

  Buddy smiled and began to sing the hit song, “I’ve Been Everywhere.” Then he grabbed his beard and gave a smirk at the song he’d sung out of key. “Walt, I have seen just about all the United
States. The only problem is, it’s all one big blur. You drive through one town, and then before you know it, they all look the same. Shoot, I couldn’t even really enjoy a vacation with my wife because I’d seen it all.” He threw his hands up in the air to make his point and then placed them back on the steering wheel. “Mount Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, orange groves, cornfields and wheat fields, and frankly after driving as many years as I have, when you get home you just want to stay home!”

  “I can only imagine Buddy, I can only imagine.”

  Walter looked out the window and realized he was about to climb out of Buddy’s rig, and he had no idea what the next chapter of his life would hold. He wasn’t sure if his future held bars or freedom, forgiveness or animosity. He wasn’t sure if his grandchildren would get to know him or if he would be a wandering vagabond.

  When the children were small and he would come across a problem, whether it be with work or family or friends, he’d just go and ask Ruthie. She always gave him good advice, and she always made him put himself in the other person’s shoes. He wondered what she would tell him to do this very moment. He closed his eyes and pictured her, her hair a golden silver and her eyes as blue as the sea. And as he began to reminisce, suddenly it was all too real. Ruthie was right there beside him.

  “Now Walter, you must not rush and be hasty. That is what’s gotten you into all this trouble you’re in today.” Yes, he thought, she is so right. If I hadn’t run off this would have never happened. If I had only told the children what I was feeling. Oh God, if I, you could say “If I” forever and it never changed a thing. She smiled at him and patted his knee. “Calm down. Walter, the children are fine. They are probably drawing closer together because of all this.”

  Drawing closer? Yes, he hated to admit it, but she was right again. He kept his eyes closed and waited. The children were worried he knew that, but they had each other and they loved each other. Walter knew deep down that even though he’d abandoned them they loved him.

  He peered into her eyes and touched her hand. She seemed so real, so palpable. “But Ruthie where shall I go? Should I turn myself into the police? I have really messed up this time, Ruthie.” He looked again at the eyes that held his heart for too many years. They were eyes that locked his spirit and captured him.

  “You haven’t messed up a thing, Walter Kendal! Now, listen here.” She pointed her long finger at him and shook it real good. “It’s not over, till He says it’s over” and she pointed up to the sky. “And He ain't said it’s over, do you understand me, Walter Kendal?”

  “Yes, yes, Ruthie!”

  “You alright over there, Walt?”

  Walter felt a tug on his sweatshirt and realized he’d drifted off to sleep. Or was that real? Boy, it seemed real, like a movie screen. “Yeah Buddy, just talking to myself.”

  Buddy was feeling bad for Walter and worried as to what would become of the old man. He knew he was innocent, and he knew Walter Kendal was a good man. “You know Walt, if you ain't ready to get out of this cab, I’ll take you clear to Georgia with me and drop you off on the way back. Hell, I ain't had no company in quite a spell and this road keeps getting longer. I swear I think it stretches through my dreams.” Buddy had a habit of pulling on his beard when he spoke and a tendency of smiling kind of crooked after each comment. His eye teeth reminded Walter of a vampire, and it struck Walter funny that this had crossed his mind.

  Walter liked his mannerisms and his friendship. He’d spent so much time alone in the past year he was in due need of companionship, a man to talk to who understood loss. Walter rewound the vision and heard her sweet stern voice, “You must not rush and be hasty!” Ruthie was always right. He had hated this about her but finally came to terms with it after much stubbornness and much embarrassment.

  The best thing about Ruthie though was the fact that she never said, “I told you so, or see I was right.” No, Ruthie sat back quietly and never said a word. Once she’d said, “When are you going to start listening to me?” That was the only time Walter could remember her being snide. He, of course, was right about a lot of issues that arose, but when it came to dealing with people she had it covered. It was almost as if she’d memorized the whole entire book How to win Friends and influence People. It was as if she could crawl into a person’s brain and read their thoughts, such a brilliant woman, too brilliant to lose her mind to such a horrible disease. Sometimes Walter thought that’s why she lost her memory because it was too crisp, too sharp. He shook his head at the image of her lost and wandering unknowing to even the most familiar of faces, Walter’s.

  Walter didn’t know how to reply to Buddy’s invitation. He stared at his large belly, bouncing with the road and his dash ornament, a Hawaiian dancer whose hips shook with each bump as well. Her plastic face smiled up at Walter and her lei was a bright coral pink that matched her lips.

  “Walter, I have been thinking about how boring my days would have been if I’d never picked you up that morning. I swear I have picked up some characters in my day. Once in Chicago, I picked up a lady that I think used to be a man, you know, one of them transvestites. I didn’t even know it, till we got to Indiana and the sun came up. Heck, she, he, had more facial hair than a dog in heat and hands as big as a lumberjack!” Buddy was shaking his head back and forth, all the while laughing. “I thought I’d never get rid of her . . . uh him? Real nice fellow, though.”

  Walter was laughing too, and it was nice to not think about all his pain for a minute. Boy, did Buddy have some stories to tell. He hated to put Buddy out, and if he got into trouble on his account he’d never forgive himself and he already had a lot of that to deal with. He prayed a silent prayer, “God, you’ve led me to Buddy and he’s kept me fed and dry and out of danger. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. I need a specific answer, Lord, so I am praying a specific prayer. If Buddy asks me to stay one more time, then that’s your way of telling me to stay. But if he wishes me well, then I will get out of this cab and start walking.”

  Then a funny thing happened, Buddy turned to him and said, “Hot sand, I missed your exit and I gotta go weigh in. I guess you’re just stuck with me awhile longer.” He grabbed his beard and winked at Walter, his eye tooth shining in the darkness.

  Pressing Forward

  Chapter 40

  Bradford motioned for the hostess to come over. He was more nervous than he’d ever been in his entire life. He couldn’t even think of a time when he felt this tense. “Hello dear, I was wondering if I could get a table in the back, say for four?”

  “Of course, sir, right away. We have a couple leaving as we speak. I’ll get someone to clean it and we’ll have it ready in no time.”

  She was all of twenty and part Asian; her long dark hair swayed as she walked. He watched her motion the busboy, who only used a tray to stack his dishes on. The table was perfect, but Bradford’s stomach was nauseous and he was terrified about how the night would unfold. He thought he had already won the heart of Marcie, but his son could prove to be harder. The pretty hostess came back and escorted him to the table. He had paid his tab with Scott and was waiting for Marcie.

  “Do you want me to tell Benjamin that you are his father, or do you want to tell him yourself?” She looked nervous.

  “What do you think Marcie? I guess there’s no easy way to say what I need to say.”

  Marcie pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and chewed on her fingernail. “Well, I think I’ll let you tell him then.”

  “Okay Marcie, it is my responsibility at this point, but just in case things go sour, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Same here Bradford. I hope things work out for you and Benjamin. I’m not sure how he will respond or even if he will speak to you. This is going to jolt him out of his comfort zone for sure. Even though I see a resemblance, part of me doesn’t know whether to believe it or not. But as my grandmother used to say, “it will all come out in the wash.” She glanced at her watch and looked up at the bar area. “I’ll
go see how long until he’s off.” Marcie smiled nervously and made her way back to the bar.

  Bradford watched her sit back down and motion Scott over. Scott then headed to the back to get Benjamin. “This is really happening,” he said under his breath. He realized his life would never be the same whether his son wanted to get to know him or not. He watched Benjamin come from the kitchen and take his chef hat off his head. He pulled the stool out next to Marcie and Bradford eyed them as they made conversation. Marcie’s hands were fluttering and her mouth was running rapidly. He wished he knew what she was saying, but she was a smart girl and he thought she had liked him. He then saw Benjamin turn around and scan the room until his eyes were resting on Bradford. A chill went straight through Bradford. His heart accelerated, and he became aware suddenly that he was soaking wet with perspiration and his eardrums were ready to burst from the pounding.

  Benjamin threw his hands up in the air and walked back to the kitchen. Marcie turned, looked at Bradford, and made a gesture as to say, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ She eased out of her seat and walked back to the table. “He’s not coming over. He’s scared he’s in trouble with the law or that you’re an informant. He says he’s not coming over.”

  Bradford pulled out his cell phone and asked Marcie if she knew the number of the restaurant. She gave it to him and he entered it into his phone.

  “Do you have a smoke I could bum?” Bradford normally didn’t smoke, he hadn’t smoked since high school. They had smoked cigars at his frat parties in college, but that’s as far as he took it. Tonight he thought he might need more than a cigarette to calm his nerves. He took a drink of his beer and put the cigarette behind his ear. Marcie looked up and smiled. Benjamin had a habit of tucking his that very same way. “I’m going outside for a bit Marcie. I need to calm my nerves and take a few deep breaths.” He winked at her, and then asked her to keep an eye on his table.