The Complete Works of Pat Parker

by Pat Parker

  wrong with her – what defect

  drove her to me –

  And when we walk the streets

  of this city – forget and touch

  or hold hands and the people

  stare, glare, frown, & taunt

  at those queers –

  I remember –

  Every word taught to me

  Every word said to me

  Every deed done to me

  & then i hate –

  i look at my lover

  & for an instant – doubt –

  Then/ i hold her hand tighter

  And i can hear my mother cry.

  Lord, what kind of child is this.

  Cop-out

  (To My Mother)

  “i like your friends.

  they’re real people.

  not phony – like your

  sisters’ friends.”

  Marie Cooks

  All of these

  real people –

  are real,

  live in the

  flesh

  dykes –

  & all the boyfriends

  that they have

  are a part of my creativity.

  All of these real people

  are real –

  & i can only tell you

  real live in the flesh –

  lies –

  For Willyce

  When i make love to you

  i try

  with each stroke of my tongue

  to say i love you

  to tease i love you

  to hammer i love you

  to melt i love you

  & your sounds drift down

  oh god!

  oh jesus!

  and i think –

  here it is, some dude’s

  getting credit for what

  a woman

  has done,

  again.

  Best Friends

  (for Whitey)

  So how come

  we can’t touch

  when we hurt most?

  Can only

  sense &

  hurl ourselves

  against forces

  & each other

  & laugh away

  our agony

  tomorrow –

  as drunk

  yesterdays.

  Pit Stop

  A pit is a covered hole

  used to trap wild animals.

  a pit is an abyss.

  a pit is the ground floor

  of a theater,

  especially the part

  at the rear.

  a pit is a coward’s suicide.

  a hearty drink to anything –

  Let us drink to your new lover

  Let us drink to your lover – gone

  Let us drink to my lover

  Let us drink to my lover – gone

  Hey let’s drink to the good people

  Let’s drink to the nearest holiday

  Let’s drink to our ability to drink.

  A pit is a covered hole

  used by wild animals.

  it’s hard to withdraw the fangs, now

  in public places

  the anger spills over

  to be mopped away, later

  too much drink

  slow fang withdrawal

  our animalism is showing

  a bad image –

  Let’s drink to a bad image

  Let’s drink to a covered pit

  & happy animals

  & withdrawn fangs.

  a pit is an abyss.

  Let’s drink to my shame

  a hustle

  a grand hustle

  i love you, so

  i won’t call you fool

  Let’s have another drink

  you love me

  you won’t walk away from me.

  Let’s have another drink

  to our hustle

  let’s hustle another drink

  & drink

  to our ability to hustle.

  Let’s have a drink to our shame.

  Let’s have a drink

  to drink

  a pit is the ground floor

  of a theater,

  especially the part

  at the rear.

  It was a good show last night

  full of venom

  i thought for sure she would hit her

  & did you see that woman fall off her stool?

  yes indeed a grand show

  everybody was

  & it ended safely –

  How’s your head this morning dearie?

  Let’s drink to a good show

  Let’s drink to the rear of the theater.

  It’s hard to get hit with a bottle here.

  Just to watch the show.

  Let’s drink to a ground floor.

  Has anyone ever priced the

  balcony?

  a pit is a coward’s suicide.

  what do you mean kill yourself?

  that’s a bummer – makes me sad.

  Let’s have another drink.

  yes, i’ve gained weight –

  it’s the beer you know.

  cold – yes

  caught a lot of colds –

  just need to take more vitamin C

  Let’s have a hot toddy for my cold.

  Wow that’s too bad – overdose huh

  won’t touch the stuff –

  if anything kills me

  it will be the booze, ha ha.

  Let’s have a drink to her & her drug

  she was a good kid

  One of these days i’ll have a check-up

  getting winded too easily – getting old.

  Let’s have another drink.

  i can’t imagine anyone committing suicide.

  the mechanics are too slow here.

  the tires should be on –

  the gas in.

  what’s the matter?

  you want to cost us the race?

  Oh – one more drink

  Let’s drink to the race.

  let’s drink to the pit crew.

  Let’s drink,

  let’s drink

  let us drink

  let us drink

  drink

  drink

  excuse me friends,

  i must go now

  i cannot afford to lose

  this race.

  i cannot afford to die,

  in this place

  Give strong drink unto him that is ready to

  perish, and wine unto those that be of

  heavy hearts. Let him drink and forget his

  poverty, and remember his misery no more.

  Proverbs 31: 6-7

  When i drink

  i scream

  i fight

  i cry

  i don’t

  do these things

  when i’m sober

  so far,

  my friends

  think the

  solution

  to my being

  a problem

  is for me

  to stop

  drinking.

  For the Straight Folks Who Don’t Mind Gays But Wish They Weren’t So BLATANT

  you know some people

  got a lot of nerve.

  sometimes, i don’t believe

  the things i see and hear.

  Have you met the woman

  who’s shocked by 2 women kissing

  & in the same breath,

  tells you that she’s pregnant?

  BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  Or this straight couple

  sits next to you in a movie

  & you can’t hear the dialogue

  Cause of the sound effects.

  BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  And the woman in your office

  Spends the entire lunch hour

  talking about her new bikini drawers

  & how much her husband likes them.

  BUT GAYS SHO
ULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  Or the “hip” chick in your class,

  rattling a mile a minute –

  while you’re trying to get stoned

  in the john

  about the camping trip she took

  with her musician boyfriend.

  BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  You go in a public bathroom

  and all over the walls

  there’s John loves Mary,

  Janice digs Richard,

  Pepe loves Delores, etc. etc.

  BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  Or you go to an amusement park

  & there’s a tunnel of love

  & pictures of straights

  painted on the front

  & grinning couples

  coming in and out.

  BUT GAYS SHOULDN’T BE BLATANT.

  Fact is, blatant heterosexuals

  are all over the place.

  Supermarkets, movies, on your job,

  in church, in books, on television

  every day and night, every place –

  even in gay bars.

  & they want gay men & women

  to go hide in the closets –

  So to you straight folks

  i say – Sure, i’ll go

  if you go too,

  but i’m polite

  so – after you.

  My Lady Ain’t No Lady

  my lady ain’t no lady

  she doesn’t flow into a room –

  she enters & her presence is felt.

  she doesn’t sit small –

  she takes her space.

  she doesn’t partake of meals –

  she eats – replenishes herself

  my lady ain’t no lady –

  she has been known

  to speak in a loud voice,

  to pick her nose,

  stumble on a sidewalk,

  swear at her cats,

  swear at me,

  scream obscenities at men,

  paint rooms,

  repair houses,

  tote garbage,

  play basketball,

  & numerous other

  un ladylike things.

  my lady is definitely no lady

  which is fine with me,

  cause i ain’t no gentleman.

  Non-monogamy Is A Pain in the Butt

  I have a lover

  who has a lover

  who has a lover

  now, ain’t that hot.

  So one day

  i say, hey

  why don’t you stay?

  she said, tonight

  i’d rather not.

  My lover and me

  decided to be

  two, not four or three

  surely you see,

  but thanks a lot.

  I have a lover

  who has a lover

  who has a lover

  now that’s a dumb spot.

  But it’s okay

  tomorrow we’ll play

  be loving and gay

  maybe stroll by the bay

  & take pictures of yachts.

  So don’t laugh, he hee

  at my lovers and me

  what a strange place to be

  For you can’t foresee

  what’s to be your lot.

  Maybe one day

  you will say

  with hair turning gray

  and heart heavy as clay

  lying alone on a cot.

  I have a lover

  who has a lover

  who has a lover

  now ain’t that hot.

  LOVE POEMS

  love

  & friendship

  are words of

  people

  telling

  people

  trust is

  a word

  for

  bankers

  me

  & you

  &

  You

  are

  words

  for

  us.

  Let me come to you naked

  come without my masks

  come dark

  and lay beside you

  Let me come to you old

  come as a dying snail

  come weak

  and lay beside you

  Let me come to you angry

  come shaking with hate

  come callused

  and lay beside you

  even more

  Let me come to you strong

  come sure and free

  come powerful

  and lay with you.

  I have a solitary lover

  she digs it

  moves with it

  moves

  alone well

  moves alone

  well

  i have a solitary

  lover

  she digs it

  she digs moving

  digs

  moving

  alone

  & when i barge

  into her world

  she

  in spite of herself

  graciously

  comes

  with me

  calms with me

  solitary

  I Kumquat You

  Some one said

  to say

  I love you –

  is corny.

  A Small Contradiction

  It is politically incorrect

  to demand monogamous

  relationships –

  It’s emotionally insecure

  to seek

  ownership of

  another’s soul

  or body &

  damaging to one’s psyche

  to restrict the giving and

  taking of love.

  Me, i am

  totally opposed to

  monogamous relationships

  unless

  I’m

  in love.

  i wish that i could hate you

  when you brush against me in sleep

  your breath slapping life in my innards

  & i feel my body go soft in wanting you

  i wish right then that i could hate you

  i wish that i could hate you

  when i sit not able to see you

  cursing the something that came up

  & know i will still come when you call –

  i wish right then that i could hate you

  i wish that i could hate you

  when i hear you on the phone

  planning time away from me

  & wish it was me that you’re talking to

  i wish right then i could hate you

  I wish for enough anger to hate you

  – My love for you keeps getting in my way.

  Bitch!

  i want to scream

  I hate you

  Fuck you for this pain

  You used my guts

  & now you stand here

  Write my pain off

  an unworkable experience

  Bitch!

  i want to scream –

  & the words –

  – unreal

  from my mouth

  i love you –

  i hope you’ll be happy.

  Sitting here,

  listening to you

  make music.

  i realized

  the many years

  we

  have known each other

  is

  one month.

  so instead

  of running upstairs

  & sticking my tongue

  in your ear

  i’ll give you

  this.

  Both gestures

  mean

  the same.

  Woman, i love you.

  If it were possible

  to place you in my brain,

  to let you roam

  around in and out

  my thought waves –

  you would never

  ha
ve to ask –

  why do you love me?

  This morning as you slept,

  I wanted to kiss you awake –

  say “i love you” til your brain

  smiled and nodded “yes”

  this woman does love me.

  Each day the list grows –

  filled with the things that are you

  things that make my heart jump –

  Yet, words would sound strange;

  become corny in utterance.

  Now, each morning when i wake

  i don’t look out my window