That thought alone made me want to kick myself in the butt because I would have hoped for her answer to be no. I didn't want my sister to come back home because I wanted to keep hooking up with her ex-boyfriend.
I was officially the worst person in the world.
"What's happening with the interviews that you'd lined up?" I twisted the question around.
"They're still a couple days away," she said plainly. "A part of me wishes that I don't get a job, you know? I really think I screwed up. All those years of wanting to move to Chicago, thinking that I was still that little college girl who liked big cities and bright lights. But I'm not that person anymore. I think in a way, I fell in love with Hinsdale over the years."
"Won't you miss Chloe, though?" I asked. "I thought you both had this ultimate dream of moving to the city together."
"I will, but she's busy. She's married and Joshua is great. Things are different with her. I kind of feel like the third wheel whenever I'm with her because she brings Josh everywhere we go. I don't blame her. I guess that's what happens when you're married."
"So you feel lonely when you're around her," I said, realizing what this was all about. "Is that why you feel you should get back with Blake?”
"I just feel like I should get back with him, Jaz," she sounded defensive. "I want to get back with him. I already told you that I missed him. What else did you want me to say? Why does it even matter to you so much?"
I tossed my hands in the air. "Fine. Got it. Backing away now."
"Hey," she patted my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude to you."
"It's not a big deal," I lied.
"It is, though. You turn all red when someone talks to you this way. I'm going to have to tell your boyfriend about how sensitive you are, so that idiot doesn't hurt you."
My heart sank.
"I don't have a boyfriend," I said, chuckling and feeling that knot in my stomach.
I placed a hand on my waist and waited for her to say something. When she simply turned around and got back to finishing her makeup, I continued.
And I shouldn't have.
"I don't know what Stephanie told you but I'm not seeing anyone. I actually met Eva and a bunch of colleagues from work at the lobby cafe."
I had practiced that lie multiple times in my head so I could say it confidently.
But the look of amusement on her face told me that I'd done a bad job. Besides, it was probably the most obvious lie ever.
"You always go to Chloe's though," she narrowed her eyes at me. "And what colleagues? You hate your colleagues. The only person I've ever seen you hang out with in your free time is Eva."
"Things change," I shrugged. "Like they do with you."
"Mind if I confirm this story with Eva?" She asked with a half-smile.
I knew she was joking. Even Freya wasn't crazy enough to go as far as asking my friend if I was telling a lie. And even if she did, that could work to my advantage because Eva already knew what I'd been up to.
If she were to run into my crazy sister, I was certain that she would have my back.
"Sure, ask her whatever you want."
Freya arched her eyebrow and uncrossed her arms.
"Fine, I believe you."
Those words didn't quite settle well with me. I wasn't happy about the fact that she believed me. That seemed too easy.
Plus, I didn't deserve her trust.
I sat on the edge of the bed and watched her do her hair.
It's what I always did before we went out.
"Stop being a creeper," she laughed. "I know you enjoy watching my little magic show in front of the mirror but you need to get ready too."
"I am ready."
She looked me up and down.
"You're not ready. You're crazy."
She held my hand and pulled me toward her bedroom door.
"Come, let's find you something better. Something... fancier. You know me, I'm going to try and hook you up with a hottie."
"You're such a weird older sister."
"True, but you'll thank me later."
I broke free of her grip and frowned. "I don't think I should come out tonight. You and Blake should catch up and I'm not feeling too well."
She tossed her fists in the air and groaned.
"Seriously, you're always just looking to make me beg. I know you're fucking feeling fine. So what is this about? And it's not as if Blake and I are going to get any alone time tonight."
"You're not?"
"Amy is coming too, remember? I was hoping you could keep her busy for me."
"Me? Why?"
I found the answer to that why before she could respond with the obvious.
"So I can try and get lucky tonight... that's why."
12
Blake
I tried to remember when was the last time that I cared so much about a woman's perception of me. I didn't think I ever had. There'd been many instances where Freya thought I was an utter jackass who couldn't care less about her feelings. Perhaps she wasn't wrong to think that because I was starting to wonder if I ever really did care for her.
Today, when she brought up the fact that we used to spend some nights at the same hotel that I asked Jaz to meet me at, I knew what was going to happen.
I wouldn't be surprised if Jaz didn't want to speak to me at all after today. Even though there was no correlation between that and how I felt about her, it would have consequences.
I sighed, knowing that I should have thought it through.
If nothing else, Jaz must have been weirded out about hooking up with her sister's ex-boyfriend even more after that conversation. It must have looked like I was just trying to recreate what I had shared with Freya, but that couldn't be farther from the truth.
"Hey, you ready?" Amy asked.
"I have been ready for the past forty-five minutes."
She rolled her eyes.
"Don't be a jackass."
"Where are you two headed?" Mom asked from the kitchen, while wiping her hands with a towel.
"Just going out with a couple friends," I said.
"Who? Lance and Kevin?"
"Yes, them too."
"Also Jasmine and Freya."
"Freya?" Mom's forehead wrinkled. "Seriously? The girl's back already?"
Amy smirked.
"Knock it off, will you?" I snapped. "Just be nice to her tonight. She's going to leave in a few days and you won't have to see her in Chicago."
"Sure I won't," she replied with sarcasm.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I know you're going to get back with her, Blake."
I shook my head, and didn't want to validate her statement with a response. But then she continued. "You always do. That's just how it goes. Blake and Freya break up and then get back together. Rinse and repeat."
"It's not like that this time," I said plainly. "She lives in Chicago now and there is absolutely no hope for putting things back together."
"The last part," Amy smiled, pointing her finger at me. "You said those same words when you broke up with her back in January of this year."
She was right about that, so I just burst out laughing.
It didn't matter what she thought because I knew what the truth was. Not only was there no way that we would get back together, but now I was interested in someone else.
More than interested.
I was obsessed, and I wanted to claim every inch of Jasmine Ashman.
Though, I couldn't help but analyze Freya's behavior from earlier in the day.
She'd been so giggly and friendly with me, and it was unlike of her to get over the breakup so quickly.
Not that I wanted her to suffer because of it. In fact, I would have loved for her to get over me fast, but it was still strange.
My guess was that she'd either found someone else or she'd just made up her mind about wanting to get back with me. It had, as Amy pointed out, happened before.
"Hey man."
&nb
sp; Lance Baxter, one of my friends from high school, patted my back when we arrived at the bar.
"Where's Kev?" I asked, and he just nodded at Kevin, who was standing by the other entrance, exhaling smoke.
"Ugh," Amy's lips twisted.
"Oh, the judgmental Amy is here," Lance teased.
"Smokers deserve to be judged," Amy quipped, and looped her arm through mine. "This one doesn't smoke, does he?"
"No ma'am," Kevin butted in. "If he did, my life would be so much easier. I'm constantly running out of these things."
Kevin Hughes was another one of my friends from high school. These two men were like brothers to me. After Brian's death, they'd done everything to remind me that I wasn't alone, and always kept trying to share the weight of the world that sometimes seemed to fall over my shoulders.
Amy didn't like his statement, but her reaction got drowned in the boisterous bromance that was taking place between us three.
"So Freya, huh?" Kev punched my chest. "You two back together or what?"
"See," Amy chuckled. "I'm not crazy!"
"Seriously man," he continued. "Try and keep things broken off this time, okay? I don't want to see you curled up in an infant position and crying like that ever again."
"Ever again?" I laughed. "Like I ever did that!"
"You might as well have," Lance chimed in.
Luckily that conversation was interrupted when Freya and Jasmine's cab pulled over.
My eyes went straight to Jaz. The woman would never cease to amaze me.
I'd been seeing subtle changes in her since the day I showed her that I was interested.
She was wearing a short pink dress, way less sparkly than the one that her sister had on. It looked so cute on her. The bright color matched that bright smile on her face and my heart thumped just a bit harder when I ran my eyes over her glistening skin.
"You guys clean up well," Freya said, cheek kissing everyone except for Amy. This is what irked me about her. She asked me to invite my sister only to act like she was invisible.
Amy groaned when it was just the two of us. "For once, I hope that you're right and I'm wrong. Do not get back with her."
The ambience inside the bar was relaxing, though it was still early in the evening. It was just ten, but because it was a Saturday, the place was going to start getting crowded soon.
Velvet Hour was the closest thing you could get to a "classy" place in town. It was high end for Hinsdale, but still way reasonable if you compared it with bars in Chicago.
Freya and I used to come here often, and I knew that she had the menu memorized by now. I wasn't surprised when she pushed it to the side and ordered a rum cocktail for herself, but it did surprise me when she rubbed my shoulder and told the bartender that I would like a black label on the rocks.
"I can place an order for myself, you know," I shook my head, resisting the urge to glance at Jasmine. But I was dying to see if she'd noticed, and I wanted to know how she was feeling after everything that had happened today.
We got a table at one of the secluded corners. Sure, Saturday was a busy night but this was one of the perks of being a regular at a small-town bar.
Everyone from the bartenders to the servers recognized us, and gave us good service.
Amy and Jasmine were sitting across from me and I saw them speak into each other's ears to beat the music. In a way, it was nice to see that Jaz got along with my sister but the reality of things being so complicated was still lingering over my head.
Freya wasn't making it any easier.
She was nudging me to get my attention every five seconds. Her questions were mundane, but she was still at it.
"Tell me," she pouted like a child. "How are things coming along at the store?"
She then looked at Jaz. "Maybe we should go by the store tomorrow and bother him a little."
I'd been under the impression that Jaz worked on Sundays, and honestly I was hoping to see her there.
She didn't seem like she wanted to talk to me at all. In fact, she was actively avoiding any eye contact with me. It probably didn't seem odd to anyone else, but no one knew that something was going on between us, thank goodness. It was disheartening for me, though.
"You're not coming in to work tomorrow?"
"No," she said without a smile, then turned to speak to Amy again.
"She wants to hang out with me," Freya cut in. "I might leave on Monday."
"Might?" I arched my brow.
"Yeah... unless you'd like me to stay for longer."
She said that with a wink and my gaze flicked to Jaz, who lightly shook her head, pretending to not care.
But I knew she did. I knew I wasn't imagining it. Something special existed between me and that girl and I wished that I could make everyone in that bar disappear with the snap of my fingers, so it would just be me and her.
She was one of the few women who I looked forward to seeing, just for the heck of it. I didn't know why, but being around her brought me a sense of calm.
It couldn't exactly pinpoint it and I didn't want to either.
I didn't care why I felt the way that I did. The only thing that mattered to me was that there was still a slight chance it might work.
I wanted to touch her again, to feel the skin under her dress, to kiss the insides of her thighs. I wanted to pull her hair back and suck the side of her neck like she belonged to me.
In my mind, she absolutely did.
"Place is finally getting crowded," Lance commented, his eyes wandering in all directions, likely hunting for his prey for the night.
"Hey man," he leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I know there's a bro code and stuff but I wanted to know if Freya is off-limits."
My guess was that he was saying this just to see what my reaction was going to be. Both my friends and my sister were convinced that I was going to get back with Freya, so Lance might have just been testing me.
Even if he wasn't, I didn't really care if he hit on her.
"Go for it," I told him. "All yours."
"Oh, you can't be serious," he laughed, while still being as subtle as he could. "So it's really done, huh?"
I was right. It was a test.
"Well, you're still in luck," he continued. "I won't be breaking the bro code. I'm more interested in the other one."
"What?" I said with parted lips.
"You know, her sister. Jasmine. She's kinda cute. I didn't think she was the girly girl or my type but she looks different today."
"Does she?" I shrugged, pretending to have not noticed anything.
"Yeah," he said. "I honestly never noticed her before tonight, but she's quite cute."
"Cute?"
His nostrils flared. "Yes, cute. What's the matter with you, anyway? Why are you answering each one of my statements with a question?"
I sighed and took a sip.
"She's a kid," I blurted out, wanting to barf at my own words.
"No, she isn't," he retorted.
"She is. She's like twenty-two, and you are?"
"Thirty-three," he rolled his eyes. "Fine, point taken. Doesn't change the fact that she's a fucking adult though."
"She's an innocent little girl, okay?" I continued to assert my point. I was losing a tad bit of respect for myself with each word that was escaping my lips.
"She doesn't need a guy like you."
Lance narrowed his eyes at me. I was beginning to realize that I might have awoken a beast in him.
Maybe I should have just let it go, but the arguing had this idea further etched in his mind.
"I think the music is ready for us now," Freya's loud voice brought an end to the uncomfortable conversation between me and Lance.
The music had changed from jazz to commercial pop when people started pouring in, and it seemed like most of us were starting to feel the kick already.
Including Jaz.
If I remembered correctly, she wasn't much of a drinker. At least, that's what Freya once told me, but I could be
wrong.
Older siblings never know everything about the younger ones, no matter how close the relationship.
"Come on," Freya pulled on my arm and all eyes were on me.
"Yeah, I think we should shake a leg already," Lance chimed in, offering his hand to Kevin then quickly pulling it away and laughing.
He was such a kid.
13
Jasmine
I knew I shouldn't have listened to Freya. I shouldn't have been here, relying on nasty drinks to numb my discomfort.
One thing was for sure. I needed to loosen up in life.
And another thing I was beginning to realize was that I wasn't at the level that Blake deserved.
Well, I thought I was quite awesome. I was smart, kind, all the things that every decent human being should be.
But I wasn't Freya.
I wasn't an extrovert, always the center of attention, and the kind of woman that men like Blake would want to be seen with. He wasn't an extrovert either, but they complimented each other so well.
Scrutinizing my sister's relationship was the last thing on my mind, back when I had an actual life that didn't just revolve around obsessing over Blake Henderson. But now, I could clearly see that the two of them were way better together than the two of us.
From the looks of it, though, there was a fair chance that they would get back together.
I figured if that were to happen, then Blake and I would bury our secret and never let anyone know. It would come to an end before reaching a true beginning.
The thought was unsettling. Life didn't seem fair.
Maybe because it wasn't fair.
I swayed from side to side while holding on to the neck of my beer bottle. The alcohol had started to hit me already. I was quite the lightweight.
I wandered off to a far corner of the bar, away from the people I’d come with, to a place where I was surrounded by other groups who would ignore me. I just wasn’t in the mood to socialize anymore. Everybody in this place looked so good, and they all looked so happy, and it just seemed like there was someone for everyone- except for me. I started to notice all the couples, and it was making me sick. I wasn't here with Blake, I was here as a third wheel, like always, tagging along behind my pretty sister. It was stupid to think that I ever had a chance with him, not with her throwing herself at him. She was blessed, and I wasn't.
Forbidden Neighbor: A Contemporary Romance Boxset (Forbidden Saga Book 2) Page 8
