Who Is Sarah Randall (THE RANDALLS Book 1)

by Gail Haris

  “After everything that’s happened, how can you of all people lack faith that life will always put us where we’re meant to be?”

  It’s because of everything that’s happened, I’m a little unsettled.

  I chat Rita’s ear off about Noah and his decision to go into the military.

  “What about you, Sarah? What are your plans? What do you see for your future? Sarah’s future?”

  “I’m considering going to the same college as Trent. I’ve applied there.”

  “Have you discussed it with Trent?”

  “Not in great detail. But he wants me there. I still sometimes think about going back to Colorado.”

  “Do you ever keep in touch with Angie?”

  “No. We’ve kind of drifted apart.”

  “Are you upset by this?”

  “Yes and no.”

  “I see.”

  “I called Richard, Dad.”

  Rita’s eyes go wide. “That’s huge! Why didn’t you already tell me this?”

  “Well, I said it and then kind of ran off to bed.”

  “Wow. That’s great. So your relationship is going well, then?”

  “It is. Melissa and I are getting there. Landon’s the best. Trent is a really good guy, but I sometimes think he really is the one that should be here right now. Denise is, well Denise.”

  “I’m so glad to hear all this. Did you finally bring me a drawing?”

  “Yes.”

  I reach next to my chair and grab my satchel. I pull out my sketch pad and flip to the picture I’d been working on during my sessions with Richard. Standing up, I walk over and hand Rita the sketch. Her eyes scan the page and she shakes her head. “You are so talented. This is extraordinary. Are you not finished?”

  “No. When I finally decide who I am, I’ll finish it. Until then, this is all I can give you.”

  “Keep it then. Continue to work on it. You’re doing beautiful work, on both ladies.”

  I take back the sketch of me. Half of my face is drawn while the other half is there but lightly faded.

  The next day, I keep thinking about Noah’s decision about the military. More importantly, what my decisions are going to be. I could go to school in Colorado, retreat to familiar grounds. Going to school with Trent wouldn’t be so horrible. I try to think about who am I and who do I want to be. That night, I lay in bed and think about my life. I refuse to continue being Sarah Randall. I pull out the paper to legally change my name and stare at it. I fill out half of it. Then, I fill out my college applications. Tomorrow, I’ll submit it, along with applications for colleges.

  I go to Landon’s room and knock on his door.

  “Come in.”

  I open the door to find Landon sitting at his computer desk. “Hey.”

  He turns in his seat and leans back. “What’s up?”

  “Wanna hear something crazy?”

  “Crazy, huh? It’s gotta be pretty wild to be considered crazy around here. Stop lurking in the doorway. Get in here.” I enter the room and sit on the edge of his bed. “So, tell me.”

  “I’m thinking about changing my name.”

  Landon raises his eyebrows. “Changing it to what?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like Sarah is me.”

  “You want to be Olivia?”

  “I don’t know. But I’m going to change it.” I lean back on his bed and smile at the ceiling. “I’m going to legally change my name. I just need to figure out what I want it to be.”

  Landon gets up. He plops down next to me on the bed. “I like it. I can’t wait to hear what your name is going to be.”

  “Me neither.” We both start laughing.

  IT’S APRIL. TIME HAS BEEN flying by since New Year’s. When I get home from school, I’m surprised that Trent has come to visit for the weekend. He hasn’t been home in almost two months. A couple of his buddies that he graduated with are also in town, so they decide that this calls for a mini reunion, aka party. The get-together tonight is at this bridge that’s not far from the conservation where Noah takes me.

  I ride in Trent’s SUV with him, Landon, and Rachel. She’s beside herself that she’s riding with Trent but trying to play it cool. She asks him about Maggie, but he tells her she was busy this weekend with charity work. Rachel snorts and rolls her eyes.

  We turn onto a gravel road and pass an old cemetery that’s in the middle of nowhere. The headstones and statues give off such an eerie feeling, yet they seem peaceful at the same time. I plan to come back this way again so I can sketch. The bridge is further up the road. We drive to the other side, and there’s a wide opening where everyone has parked. There’s even a levy. This is a known popular spot for everyone to drink. I’m sure there’s an actual name for it, but nobody seems to use it. The stream that I’d been sketching flows into the river that the bridge is built over. It’s not a large river, and the water is still. The bridge itself is concrete and not very long but plenty of feet wide.

  I’m anxious about seeing Noah since last time we talked, it was a tense discussion over his plans to join the military after graduation. I knew this was always his plan, but secretly I’d hoped he would change his mind. It makes me sound so vain and selfish to hope he would change his plans over me, especially when his decision is to serve our country and relieve his parents of a financial burden.

  I find Noah with Keaton, Jeff and Tara sitting on an open truck bed. Tara leaps off and grabs my hands. “I have to tell you something!”

  I smile at her and pull out of her clutches. “All in good time, I just got here. I want to at least go tell Noah hello.”

  I skip over to him. I plaster a smile on my face hoping we don’t spend the night together stiff and standoffish. He gives me a soft kiss and then offers me a drink. I’m not much of a drinker, but after a few sips, it doesn’t taste so horrid. Noah and I chat a few minutes with Jeff and Tara as buffers before she finally grows impatient.

  She drags me away from the guys, giggling. When we’re at a safe distance from being heard, she stops walking but keeps giggling.

  “Tara, how much have you had to drink?”

  She laughs harder. “Not that much, really. I’m just so excited!”

  I join in her laughter, even though I’m clueless as to what it’s over.

  Finally, she says, “Jeff and I are together!”

  I’m puzzled as to why she’s laughing over this. I tilt my head. “Congratulations? I thought you two were already together.”

  She laughs again. “Thank you! We are…but now we’re official. Also, I have decided I’m going to have sex with him at prom.”

  My eyes almost pop out of my head, which causes her to laugh hysterically.

  “It’s not like I’m a virgin. Wait, are you?”

  I nod and take a drink. She pauses for a moment and stares at me, “Really? Wow. Well, what about you and Noah?”

  I take another drink before I answer, “We’re officially together as well.”

  “Not what I meant…”

  “I plan to wait. I love him, but...” I have almost emptied my cup by this point. I make a motion of shaking my cup. “I think I need a refill.”

  I begin to walk away when she stops me by gently grabbing my shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I think it’s great you’re waiting to be with someone you’re sure about. It’s not that common anymore, but I think it’s great.”

  I fidget awkwardly for a moment before stammering, “Well, um, I hope you and Jeff have a wonderful time…having sex…um…yeah, I hope it’s good.”

  I bow my head as Tara bursts into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

  When I make it back to Noah, his eyes are guarded. He’s not sure what to do and honestly, neither am I. With courage from my slight buzz, I begin dancing around him. He doesn’t dance. He wanders away from me to his truck. I stand there awkwardly watching him walk away since he didn’t ask me to follow him. For a minute, I’m afraid I might have just made this aw
kward situation worse. However, when his truck begins blasting the Thompson Twins “Hold Me Now,” I’m beside myself. He comes back to me and takes my hand and twirls me around.

  Tara shakes her head and I hear her say, “Y’all are such nerds!”

  The smile that stretches across my face actually hurts, but I don’t care. The sunset is gorgeous and there’s a perfect breeze. If we were alone, this would be considered romantic. Rachel, Landon, Keaton and Emily join in on the dancing while everyone else laughs and cheers us on.

  Noah goes back to his truck when the song is over to turn it off. I follow him and thank him for the dance. He pops the tailgate of his truck, and effortlessly lifts me to sit me on the bed. He climbs up and wraps his arm around me. We sit and watch the sunset together. He kisses my temple and whispers against my skin, “I love you.”

  I turn and look back into his eyes. “I love you.”

  “It’s all going to work out, you know?”

  I look back out into the sunset. I look over at all our friends laughing. My life has been like a puzzle that someone dumped all the pieces out, and it didn’t make sense. I think about how all the pieces in my life are finally fitting together. Slowly, a picture is starting to form. There’s a bigger picture yet, though. I just need to finish putting all the pieces together.

  I nod. “Yeah. I do know. Just promise me that no matter what life throws at us, I’ll still have you. No matter where we end up next. We’ll still keep in touch.”

  “Promise. And hey, you’ve got social media now.”

  “That’s right. No excuses. There’s plenty of access to me.”

  He slides even closer and places his warm palm on my leg. “How much access is there to you?”

  I stare at his hand and then back up into his heated eyes. We’re mostly shadowed by the night. Only the moonlight. The group where everyone else is has their vehicles forming a circle with their lights on and a bon fire.

  My breathing picks up. “Plenty.”

  I allow him to slide his hand further up my leg. We’ve made out, but we’ve never gone very far. He’s about to explore new territory for us. Forbidden territory.

  Suddenly, we hear a commotion close to us. We walk over to find Landon and Luke yelling and pushing each other’s chest. I scan back toward the crowd to find Trent chatting with some other college students. I rush over to him to let him know. Noah, Jeff and Keaton are already trying to talk the guys down. I can’t make out what they’re fighting over. They keep shouting and pushing at each other.

  Trent jumps in the middle, “Hey! Cool it!”

  Luke laughs. “Oh, here we go again.” He’s definitely drunk as he sways and laughs. He points to Trent. “Big brother swoops in to save the little bitch.”

  Everyone looks at me. Were they fighting about me? But Luke is smirking at Landon.

  Landon narrows his eyes and growls, “Move Trent. Let me handle him.”

  Luke bellows louder. “Whooo! I bet you’d like to handle me. I bet you’d love to wrap your hands around my—”

  Trent cuts him off with a punch to the face. Luke catches himself before he falls. He pulls his hand from his face and looks down at the blood. When he stands to his full height, I see that his lip is bleeding. He laughs, and there’s blood coating his front teeth.

  Trent points at him, “Shut it! I mean it, Luke. Don’t be such an asshole. Let’s just walk away.”

  Landon’s eyes are red, and he’s downing another beer. With him and Luke both drinking, things could’ve gotten out of hand. I’m so relieved that Trent is here to settle this. Luke nods and licks his lips. Trent shakes his head in disgust and turns to Landon. “Are you good, brother? Seriously, don’t let that…don’t let him get to you.”

  Landon nods in return and drinks another beer.

  Trent doesn’t quite believe him. “Hey, c’mon, let’s go party.” He gently shakes his shoulder and gives a halfhearted laugh.

  Landon sets the bottle down on the railing of the bridge. “You know, you didn’t have to protect me against him. And I don’t mean today. I know you said something to him when Marcus came out.”

  Everyone is quiet now and listening. I know exactly what he means, but I’m not sure anyone else has caught on. Except for Rachel probably.

  Trent shakes his head. “Don’t do this, man. Please, let’s go have fun. Or do you want to leave?”

  Landon nods. “Okay, will you go grab my phone? It’s on one of the trucks over there.”

  As soon as Trent is by the truck, Landon charges Luke. He grabs him around the waist and tackles him to the ground. They roll around throwing punches. Trent runs back over. Both guys are back on their feet and pushing each other. They make their way to the side of the bridge by the railing. Luke holds Landon by the shirt collar against the concrete rail and lands punch after punch on him. Trent is almost to the guys when Luke punches Landon so hard it sends him over the bridge. Before anyone can react, Landon is going over the side, but somehow, he had a hold of Luke and took him over the side with him. Both guys fall into the black water with a loud splash.

  I feel Noah take off beside me into the water. Trent is about to jump over the bridge when a couple of guys grab his arms. They tell him to go around to the bank. Everyone turns on their flashlights on their phones and rush toward the water.

  “Call 911!” Trent runs and then dives under. I can’t breathe. This isn’t real. I keep shaking my head and thinking it isn’t really happening. Trent and Noah finally return, pulling an unconscious Landon out of the water. Two other guys come back with Luke, who also appears to be unconscious. We hear sirens off in the distance. Trent makes quick work on performing CPR on Landon.

  I rush to his side but try not to be in the way. “Any way I can help? Trent tell me what to do!”

  He doesn’t seem to hear me as he keeps trying to revive our brother. The longer time passes with no response, the more my heart sinks. I keep praying that he’ll open his eyes, spew out water and suck in a deep breath like they do in the movies.

  For a second, I don’t hear anything but the swooshing of my heartbeat. I’m staring in horror and disbelief as Landon lies there wet and motionless. He still has color in his skin. I focus on that. He isn’t a sickly blue like when people are dead in the movies. His cheeks still hold a shade of pink to them. I stare at his long brown eyelashes. Water still drips from them and I keep thinking that I see them move. But it’s not Landon moving them. It’s Trent pushing so hard on his chest that his head is jolting a little.

  Everyone is panicking. I hear screams and shouts What do we do? Is he breathing? He’s not breathing? People are crying and calling their parents. I hear glass from a bottle shattering. One of the guys is shouting at another one that’s trying to perform CPR on Luke.

  “He’s not dead. He can’t be dead. We’ve jumped off that bridge a hundred times. You’re not doing it right!”

  “Then you do it!”

  “I’ll do it!”

  “Did someone call the police?”

  “Hell no, what if we get caught drinking?”

  “That’s not what’s important right now!”

  “I called! They’re on their way!”

  “Shit.”

  “Please God. Please.”

  But Luke’s not moving and neither is Landon.

  “We’re too young to die. They can’t be dead.” That’s right. We’re too young to die.

  I almost don’t hear the sirens over the commotion. The ambulance arrives to take them away. Thank God. I just know that once Landon and Luke are in the care of trained medical professionals, all this will be fine.

  I stare at the wet outline left from Landon’s body in the dirt. I watch as they lift his still motionless body onto the stretcher. They quickly attach wires to him. Another set of sirens approach. Everyone hurries to their cars as the police approach, picking up the beer cans and bottles on their way.

  We give a brief statement, and they inform us they’ll be in touch. Noah of
fers to drive us to the hospital since Trent is in such a shaken state. “I’ve already called your parents. They’re going to meet us at the hospital.”

  Rachel climbs in as well and holds Trent’s hand. “He’s going to be okay. He’s going to be okay, right? He’s going to be okay.” She keeps mumbling through silent sobs to herself.

  When we arrive at the hospital, we wait in the waiting room. Melissa and Richard arrive shortly after. A frantic, older couple along with Isabell comes rushing in, demanding to speak to someone. I assume they’re Luke’s parents.

  It seems like forever before a grim looking nurse comes to the waiting room. She informs Noah and Rachel they’ll have to stay behind, but the rest of us are to follow her. Another nurse approaches and takes the Jamersons. Instead of going to Landon’s room, we enter what looks to be another waiting room. The doctor walks in with a grim face, and we know.

  “I’m so sorry. Landon Randall did not make it. He suffered severe head trauma. There was nothing we could do.”

  We learn a few minutes later that Luke Jamerson suffered and died from a broken neck.

  Landon’s not dead. Landon did not die. Landon is still alive. This is a messed up dream. A nightmare. You’ll wake up. You’re going to wake up. Please wake up! Trent pulls my hands from my ears and shushes me. I hear screaming and uncontrollable sobbing. It’s me. I’m screaming and sobbing. I look around me as if seeing the hospital for the first time. My face is wet, and my nose is running. Melissa is a wreck as Richard is trying to comfort her, but he seems like he needs comforting himself. Denise has her face buried in her hands.

  I push Trent off and tell him to go to Denise. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay because I know this isn’t happening. Trent wraps his baby sister in his arms. He’s trying to be strong for her, but I see the tears slowly dripping from the corner of his eyes.

  The doctor leaves us, and Noah and Rachel enter the room. Rachel is hysterical. She rushes over to Melissa and they squeeze each other. Noah’s eyes are red as they focus on me. His lips are moving, but I can’t hear him. I don’t hear anyone now. There’s only a loud swooshing noise in my ears. It’s too much. This cannot be happening again. I lost the woman that I thought was my mother. I get a new family only to have the one person I bonded with taken away. No. He isn’t. He can’t be. I won’t accept it. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! Noah is shushing me again, telling me he’s here for me. I think I may have been voicing my thoughts. He’s trying to hold me, but I keep shaking my head and swaying. What if he dies, too, now?