Who Is Sarah Randall (THE RANDALLS Book 1)

by Gail Haris

  As we’re walking to our lockers after lunch one day, I can’t stop myself from asking her about Trent. It’s been bugging me since I saw her leaving his bedroom.

  “Rachel?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Look, it’s none of my business-”

  “Then you probably shouldn’t ask.” I glance up at her to see if she’s really upset with me. She doesn’t seem upset. This is the kind of thing Landon would probably say, I think. They had kind of a banter relationship. Is she trying to use me to replace Landon? Most likely. Then again, I’m probably doing the same with her if I’m being honest.

  “Probably. Yet, here I go. Are you and Trent…” I feel my cheeks get red. I let it hang, hoping she’ll fill it in for me.

  “Are we what? Together? Have you asked him? What’d he say?”

  My eyes widen at all the questions she’s firing at me. “No. I haven’t asked him.”

  “He’s your brother. Go to him first. Then, come to me and tell me exactly what he says.”

  I frown. “That’s awkward. More awkward than asking you.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s a boy.”

  “He’s your brother. You can ask your brother about who he’s dating…and then you can tell your friend about what your brother said. That’s how this works.”

  “You still didn’t answer my question. Did y’all…”

  “Sex and being together are different things. Believe me, I’ve learned the hard way.”

  The bell rings. She plasters a fake smile and beams, “Gotta go. Text me.”

  After school I meet with Rita. She finally tires of my silence and speaks. “I understand you’re grieving. Let’s try to work through this. Landon was a very important part of your life and to your growth. Don’t shut everyone out.”

  Too late.

  THE WHOLE SCHOOL BEGINS TO buzz over the excitement of prom. It’s difficult for me to get excited over prom, even if it is my senior year. I can still feel Landon’s absence everywhere, especially with an event like this. I’d planned to double date with him and Rachel. Landon had been working on planning an after party. I told Rachel that we’re still going—together. Landon would’ve had a stroke at the thought of us missing prom.

  That night, I call Trent. He hasn’t been back to visit in weeks, true to his word.

  “Sarah? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine…”

  “Sorry. Just, you never called before. Usually, you just text.”

  That’s what I should’ve done tonight. I take a deep breath. “Well, I wanted to ask you something that would be too awkward to text. Now, I’m thinking it might be too awkward to ask over the phone.”

  “You can ask me anything.”

  “Sure about that?”

  “Positive.”

  “Remember when you were telling me and Landon about Rachel? You know I saw her leave your room after the funeral. Did anything…happen? I mean, I haven’t seen Maggie around. I wanted to ask before because I noticed she wasn’t at the funeral and then I saw Rachel…and I’m being nosy. I’m sorry. I just wondered if maybe you wanted someone to talk to about…”

  “My love life?”

  “I guess.”

  “And you are being nosy.”

  “Are you mad?”

  He groans. “Nah. I’m not mad. Maggie and I broke up. I had a really hard time dealing with Landon’s death, and I was upset she didn’t make it to the funeral. She couldn’t leave. I might have overacted, but I needed her.”

  “Trent, that’s understandable.”

  “She wasn’t being supportive. I didn’t feel like she was, anyways. We’ve been talking a little since then.”

  “Think you’re going to get back together?”

  “Maybe. Most likely. I don’t know. I don’t think she’s the one for me. Even though she’s almost like a female replica of me, but with less muscles.”

  I laugh at his attempt of a joke. “She’s probably not the one then. Sorry. I did like her. Was… Rachel being supportive?”

  I hear a heavy, deep sigh through the phone. “Rachel understood my loss because it was her loss, too. She felt it. Rachel is… special. She’s special because her and Landon have been attached at the hip since elementary school. She’s like a kid sister, but then she’s not. It’s confusing. I’ll be honest with you, I’m confused. If you’re asking if I feel things for her, yes. Of course. How could I not?”

  “Then why not be with her?”

  “I can’t pursue a relationship with a high schooler. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of us. I could never hurt Rachel. I try not to, but I know I have. Landon would kill me if I ever hurt her. He’d kill me now if he could. Might still do it. Knowing him, he would haunt me and love the theatrics of it.”

  I laugh and so does he. Trent asks me how things are going with Noah. I keep it vague. He asks if I’ve been thinking about colleges. I tell him that I’m seriously considering attending in Lexington. He said he’d love it if we went to the same school. Before I know it, we’ve been on the phone for over an hour. I hang up happy about the progress we just made in our bonding but sad too. I want happiness for Trent and Rachel and the answer seems so simple. But life’s never as simple as it seems.

  On the night of prom, Rachel comes to get ready at my house. I turn on some music to try and get us in the mood. Denise comes to my room to help with make-up and hair. For a moment, the three of us lose ourselves in fun and behave like normal teenagers getting ready for prom. We dance and laugh around my bedroom and bathroom. Melissa calls for us to get downstairs for photos. My dress is princess style, baby blue, with scattered stones on the bottom. It has a heart neckline that has various stones and beads forming an elegant design around the bodice. The dress reminds me of Cinderella’s, and right now, I feel like her in this mansion with my prince charming arriving any minute. Rachel is wearing a slim fitted, A-Line, black dress with sparkling rhinestones arranged around the neck and snaking around the sides. The dress has thin, see through, nude material on the back with stones scattered along in an intricate design. Her brown hair is piled on top of her head with big curls. Only two small loose curls hang on either side of her face. She looks stunning.

  We take a few photos of the two of us and a few with Denise, as well. We try serious poses, silly, and natural poses. Rachel takes the camera and takes a few of me with Melissa, Richard, and Denise. The doorbell rings, and Denise hurries off to answer it. My eyes grow wide, and my mouth waters when I see who walks in.

  Noah.

  Noah has always been extremely handsome. There’s always been something special about him. Noah in a tux is breathtaking. He wears all black except for his vest and tie. They’re silver. Rachel reaches over with a tissue to dab the corner of my mouth. “I think you have a little drool there.”

  I swat her hand away, embarrassed, because that’s probably true.

  His eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly open. I can see his hand shaking as he comes over holding up a beautiful, white orchid corsage.

  “Wow. You look-” He clears his throat. “You’re stunning.”

  “Thank you. You too.” I want to face palm myself for how lame I probably sound. Noah shifts from one foot to the other. I can hear the plastic popping from his fingers squeezing the corsage case. “Is that for me?”

  “Will you wear it? I’m sorry I showed up unannounced. I’ve been trying to give you your space, but-” I watch his eyebrows furrow and hear a slight break in his voice. “But I really wanted to be the one to escort you to prom. If you’ll let me.” He quickly looks over to my parents. “If your folks will let me also?”

  The room is thick with tension. How could anyone possibly tell him no when he looks so vulnerable and sincere. The back of my eyes burn and Denise quickly waves her hands in front of my eyes. “No, no, no. Do not mess up this masterpiece.”

  A giggle escapes me and it seems to lighten the mood. Noah bites his bottom lip. I hold my wrist out to him. He op
ens the plastic container and places the corsage on my wrist as Melissa takes several photos. We take a few photos of just the two of us and one with my parents.

  I give Noah a hug and look up into his eyes. “There’s a slight catch. I’m kind of a package deal. Rachel’s with me tonight, so… think you can handle being both our escorts?”

  He chuckles as Rachel rolls her eyes. I ask Rachel to come over for a photo, but she shoos me off.

  “He’s your date, too,” I insist.

  She gives an awkward laugh. “Stop. He’s not my date.”

  Then, we hear a low voice from the top of the stairs speak, “That’s right, he’s not.”

  We all turn to see Trent slowly descending the stairs, dressed in a sleek, fitted tux. He looks like a Hollywood actor, polished and handsome. I didn’t even know he’d come back home. How long has he been sneaking around the house?

  He walks up to Rachel, who looks like a deer in headlights. He takes her hand. “Will you allow me to take you to prom in Landon’s place? I can’t promise I’ll be as good of a dancer.”

  Her eyes glisten with unshed tears as she swallows hard and nods. He gives her a dazzling smile and leads her over to stand by us. We pose for a few more photos. Trent and Rachel take a couple of pictures of just the two of them.

  We’re all surprised when Trent says, “Landon always liked to take silly photos.” Trent sticks his tongue out and tries his best to appear silly, but it comes over awkward and stiff for him. No one can control their laughter.

  Trent further surprises us with a rented limo. We all hop in with Trent sitting next to Rachel, and Noah and me across from them.

  “You look gorgeous.” He smiles at her. She blushes and then he adds, “Both of you. Both of you girls look beautiful.”

  Noah takes my hand and holds it. Trent looks like he wants to hold Rachel’s hand, but he doesn’t. I can’t help but wonder how Maggie feels about this, or if she knows.

  We don’t dance immediately upon arrival. I admire the decorations. The twinkling lights strung from the ceiling. The blue and white balloons floating about as the strobe lights change colors. A disco ball hung in the center of the dance floor.

  We mingle with a few of our friends. Landon had always been the dancer of our group. Noah wanders off, but I can’t see where he goes because he’s lost amongst the crowd. A familiar ballad comes on as he reappears. Noah wastes no time leading me out to the dance floor as the theme song to the Breakfast Club fills the room. I laugh as I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder as we sway to the music. I open my eyes to find Trent dancing with Rachel. She looks as though she’s on cloud nine. She always has a look of utter adoration when she’s around him.

  When the song is over, Noah gives me a twirl. “Thanks for the dance, princess.”

  I laugh, and we make our way to the rest of the group. Keaton, Emily, Jeff, Tara, Rachel, Trent and a few others are all in a circle. We stay on the dance floor and dance a few songs together.

  I whisper to Noah that I’m ready to go. I remember that we rode with Trent and Rachel, though. We tell them we’re thinking about leaving early. Trent whispers something to Rachel, making her blush. She nods and gives him a shy smile. He tells us to go ahead and take the limo. We all walk out, and Trent goes over to talk to the driver. I ask Rachel what their plans are.

  “Trent suggested that after the limo dropped y’all off, we ride around in it. Maybe go through a drive thru and get some food to snack on.” She tries to sound casual, but I can tell she’s beyond excited.

  Once again, I can’t help but wonder where this is going. Has Trent decided to go ahead and pursue a relationship with Rachel, or is he planning to still get back together with Maggie? I’m happy for Rachel; I just hope she doesn’t get hurt. Trent comes back and tells me he’ll see me at home.

  Instead of the limo pulling up to my house, we’re in front of Noah’s. Noah tells me to stay in the car as he hops out. He jogs around the limo to come open the door for me. He takes my hand to help me out and bows. I laugh as I pull my hand away to cover my face. “You’re being so cheesy!”

  He pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead. “But you love it.”

  I nod and look up into his kind eyes. “You’re right. I can’t believe it, but I do. I love it.”

  He nods his head toward his truck. “Come on.”

  We hop in the truck and somehow, I already know where we’re going. The truck bounces along the bumpy gravel as we pull up to the clearing. I hold my prom dress up as I step over twigs and moss. “Oh my gosh.” I giggle. “I’m going to fall in heels. They keep sinking into the ground!” I yelp as I almost twist my ankle.

  Noah swoops me up into his arms. He carries me over to our spot. “Oh shit.”

  “What?”

  “Your dress. You can’t sit in the moss. Hold on.” He places me down on my feet. I wobble and he laughs. “Are you good?” He holds his hands out ready to catch me. When I nod, he shrugs out of his tux jacket and places it on the ground.

  “There. Sit.”

  “What about your jacket?”

  “It’s easier to get my jacket cleaned than your dress with all the beading and—whatever. I’m trying here, c’mon.”

  Noah helps me ease down on the ground while in my constricting prom dress. The night is perfect. The stars twinkle in the clear sky. The moon shines brightly over the water. There’s no mosquitos or bugs flying around. Just a light breeze.

  “This is so much better than the lights and noise.”

  “It is,” he agrees.

  I blush and whisper, “I loved tonight. I didn’t think I would, so thank you.”

  He nods in understanding. The loss of Landon is still weighing heavy on me, but Noah made the night so wonderful. And Trent. He too, helped make tonight special. Noah cups my face in his hand and whispers, “The night’s not over.”

  His thumb caresses my lower lip as he stares into my eyes. I sigh and try to fight back tears. The look on his face and the way he spoke to me is filled with so much devotion.

  “I love you,” My voice trembles.

  I’m falling hard for Noah, and it scares me. I’m unsure if I love him because of the comfort and connection to my past, or if it’s simply Noah himself. I do know in my heart that I do love him. We stare into each other’s eyes as he leans in and places a soft kiss on my lips.

  He barely pulls back, but I reach up and cup his neck pulling him back to me. I open my mouth and he doesn’t hesitate. I lean back and bring Noah with me. Slowly, he eases his body on top of mine. I feel him in all the right places. My body craves his touch. My heart is beating so hard he must feel it against his chest. He deepens the kiss as his hands explore my body. I need more. I don’t know exactly what I want more of, I just know I need more.

  But Noah doesn’t give me more.

  He pulls back and searches my eyes. He gulps and his voice comes out hoarse, “I’m not going any farther with you. Not tonight. God, I hope someday soon, but tonight has been perfect. I want it to always be perfect for you. You’re too raw from everything that’s happened. I’d feel like I was taking advantage of your emotions.”

  My chest rises and falls. I feel like he just popped my bubble. He raises an eyebrow as his hand eases under my prom dress and creeps up my leg. “But—we can do other stuff.”

  I bite my lip and nod my head. He smiles and asks, “Yeah?”

  “Yes.”

  I hope and pray nobody is watching at the window when Noah pulls up in his truck. He leans over and gives me a kiss full of promise of future things to come. He pulls back only enough to whisper against my lips, “Good night.”

  I walk into the house expecting to find Melissa waiting for me like she did after Homecoming. She was so excited for me. Instead, it’s dark and quiet. I see a faint light coming from the den. I’m nervous as to what I’ll find. She’s hasn’t been in a good place since Landon’s death, although she is trying and I do understand.

  The televisio
n is on with the volume turned low. Melissa is wrapped in a blanket on the couch sitting upright asleep. There’s an open book on her lap, and there’s a giant mug of coffee on the table next to her.

  “She tried to stay awake, but she’s been exhausted.”

  I jump at the sound of Richard’s voice.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare ya.”

  “No, it’s fine. She looks peaceful. I don’t want to wake her.”

  “She’d love to see you and hear all about the dance. But you’re probably right. She’s finally sleeping peacefully. There’s always tomorrow morning.”

  She’d been waiting up for me. I feel a tightness in my chest and a burning in my eyes. I tip toe over to her. I grab the remote and turn off the television. I slide the book from her hands. I stick a piece of mail off the table into the book as a bookmark. I ease her down to where she’s lying on her side. She barely stirs but remains asleep. I adjust her blanket, but before backing away, I lean in for a hug. I lightly kiss her temple and whisper, “I love you, Mom.”

  TRENT DOESN’T SHARE ANY DETAILS about his night with Rachel. He eats breakfast with all of us and then tells me goodbye and leaves to go back to school. I think about his school. I also think about how he said he’d never return to town, but he did. Throughout the day, my mind continues to wonder about Trent and his decisions.

  When the bell rings ending first hour, Noah walks me to my next class. As we walk, he says, “Why don’t we go grab a bite to eat after school?”

  It’s to discuss our relationship. He doesn’t specify it, but we both know that’s what we’re going to do. Graduation is approaching and we’re both about to have life changing decisions. I feel uneasy because if there wasn’t any question about our relationship, he could ease my mind now by saying that. He’s always been big on telling me to have faith in us. I tell him that sounds ‘great,’ and the rest of the day drags on.