Scarred Melody: A Rockstar Romance: Bold Melodies Book One

by Heather E. Andrews

  “I’m not going to mince words with you,” Amelia said, putting herself behind the intimidating mahogany desk, her eyes boring straight through me. “I want to know what your intentions are toward my sister.”

  Cam reached for my arm. “You don’t have to answer that! I thought this was going to be a professional meeting, not a half-cocked episode of Family Feud.”

  Amelia’s eyes never left mine as she ignored Camille. “If he wants to stay with Clarke Records, then yes, he does.” Amelia stood, placing her hands on her desk and looming over them. “Elsie is the greatest resource this label has. She’s made more money and brought more prestige to this label than you have your entire career. I don’t want there to be any ambiguity about who the label will side with if this asshole treats my sister with anything less than the best of intentions.”

  I sat, stunned, looking between Amelia and Cam. I felt like I was being pulled aside by an angry father, being asked his intentions before taking his daughter to prom. Before I could stop my lips from fish-gaping and actually form words, Cam stood up and matched Amelia’s stance on the other side of the desk.

  “This man may not be on top of his game right now, but you have no right to call him an asshole. You’re looking at a man who took care of his mother until the day she died, making sure she wanted nothing! A man who has taken over the sole responsibility for Benny’s disabled sister! He donates a quarter of his profits to charity! Has he ever gone to rehab? No. Has he ever been arrested? No. Has he gotten some groupie pregnant? No.” Cam jabbed her finger in my direction, accenting her statements. I could only sit and watch as my manager got fired up like an angry cheerleader at a state finals game. I’d never seen her so passionate before.

  When she was finished, Cam could only stand and take deep breaths to regain her composure. Amelia’s face didn’t twitch, but she did look away from me before sliding delicately back in her chair.

  “I’m sorry for coming out of the gate a little fast.” Amelia’s voice was much more contained and devoid of all anger. Her eyes met mine as steadied her nerves. “I don’t know what’s happened between you two, Skyler. But she hasn’t left her room for over three days now. She hasn’t been like this in years. I’m not asking for any gritty details, but what’s going on?”

  Elsie and Amelia seemed close; I didn’t want to give her too many details and violate Elsie’s trust, but Amelia was concerned too. The people who care about her needed to be on the same page. I learned that lesson when Benny had to go to rehab. Secrets killed.

  “The truth is, I lost my shit in a big way. I confronted Rush about running his mouth to Cam about us; I felt like our privacy was violated. Especially when he used the crudest words possible, talking a line of shit a mile long that had little to no truth in it. His claims of me using her are completely unfounded, which he damn well knows. So yeah, I lost my cool, and I didn’t realize that she was in the studio at the time. Rush made some pretty stark statements, knowing she was listening. She ran to her room, and I wanted to kill the fuckhead. I’d say the fact I didn’t so much as leave a red mark on that piece of shit speaks pretty loud about my character.” I took a calming breath and leaned forward in my sea,t splaying my hands and I explained what happened next. “When I found her, she was crying and playing the piano. We talked, I tried to explain why I was upset with Rush. Then I challenged her to be brave, to come out and show the world who she is.” I sighed and rubbed my face with my hands. “We didn’t leave on bad terms, but she made no promises to me. She hasn’t said anything to me since.”

  Amelia nodded and sat quietly, absorbing what I told her.

  “What do you want to happen?” she asked.

  “Me?” I raised my eyebrows at her question. “I want her to be happy,” I said matter-of-factly. “And she’s just managing where she is now. She wants to sing, she wants to be on stage, Amelia. She’s just scared shitless.”

  “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, and you’re avoiding the real question. What do you want from my sister? She has autism, Skyler…she doesn’t function the way we do.”

  “Come on, Amelia. Don’t use that bullshit. I know all about the way she functions, and it’s not going to scare me off. I really like her, for her, which is how I know the autism has nothing to do with her fearing the public. Sure, she processes her emotions differently than you or me, but she still processes them. Don’t pretend you don’t want her out in the world just as badly as I do. She’s told me about how you ask her every few months to start performing.”

  “Yeah, but I know why I want her on that stage. Because I care about her. What’s in this for you, Skyler? More songs? A better record deal?”

  Now it was my turn to stand and get angry.

  “Just because you’re her sister doesn’t mean you have the cornerstone on caring about Elsie! She’s a goddamn musical supernova hiding in the desert, Amelia. She will stifle and die out there. She needs to be on stage, sharing herself with a crowd. It’s where she’s born to be.”

  “And where are you in all this, Skyler?”

  “You’re worried about me?” I asked incredulously.

  She nodded, throwing her arms up in the air.

  “I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do for Elsie, Amelia. I’d walk naked down that red carpet with her, wearing only a smile if she’d let me.”

  “Do you love her?” Amelia cut right to the quick.

  I paused, thinking about it. I’d never felt for anyone the depth and complexity of emotion I have for Elsie. If I could, I’d spend every day, all day with her. Life around Elsie was a different color.

  Standing up, I paced the room. It felt awkward talking about my feelings with Cam and Amelia. They stared at me like two angry sisters chastising their brother.

  “To tell you the truth, I’ve never loved anyone but my momma and Benny. And even what I felt for them, put together and doubled, doesn’t compare to the feelings I got for your sister. If that’s love, the kind of love you’re talking about, then maybe I do.”

  Laying Down the Tracks

  Elsie

  Two weeks have passed since the confrontation in my bedroom. I’ve successfully avoided Skyler other than working hours. When I had to see him, I got in and got out, effectively making sure we were never alone.

  Three days after his outburst, Rush disappeared. Someone new came—Billy McGrue. He was only slightly younger than Skyler and wore that crusty old guitar player look really well. He was funny, always having a joke ready. Rhys and West got along with him; they listened to his tales of life with other bands and on the road with awe. Skyler latched onto him quickly, and he became his new go-to person. It was hard not to be jealous.

  I still haven’t played him the song I wrote for him. Some nights I play it alone on my balcony, thinking about the feelings I can’t escape. Part of me wanted to play it for him, the other part of me was relieved he never heard it. If I’d played it for him that morning with his band mates, who had already suspected something was going on, it would have been confirmed and I’d still be mortified.

  I quietly sneak into the recording studio, my head down, keeping with the pattern we have of working together. Skyler looks up at me from his spot at the microphone and I ignore him. Instead, I sit at the piano and position my fingers. “Let’s start with Afterglow and transition into Benny’s Song. We’ll work through all twelve songs back to back until we can do it flawlessly. We got close yesterday, but it seems like the closer we get to the end, the more mistakes appear. There’s no start-over button on stage. You’ll do this for an hour and a half straight and that’s not including choruses.”

  “We got this, boys.” Billy picked up his guitar and played the first few notes, then nodded at the guys when he was ready for them to jump in.

  Luckily, we’d developed a pattern of working. Skyler and the guys picked twelve songs and were at the phase of putting them on tracks for the execs to review. After Skyler came back from LA with Billy,
Jacob Valentine followed soon after. I worked with Jacob a lot; he usually came in after all the songs were written and helped lay them down and master them. He was a short, beady-eyed man with very little hair, who always talked with a New York accent like he was one of the Sopranos.

  As the red light on the wall signaled recording was live, I looked up from the keys to watch Skyler sing. I could feel his eyes on me like a gentle caress, remembering the first time we played this song together. But like a coward, I refused to look him in the eye. Instead, I focused on how the music transformed his body, the way his hips moved as if he was making love to the air around him. My erotic fantasies flamed, wondering how much further we’d have gone if we’d never been interrupted. God, he was so sexy when he sang; a truly brilliant musician.

  He’d sing and his eyes wouldn’t leave me, but I was a coward. I couldn’t look him in the face. I focused on how the music transformed his body movement which only flamed my erotic fantasies. He was so sexy when he sang; a truly brilliant musician.

  “Let’s take five, people. Take a drink of water, use the restroom and come back ready to blow me away.” Jacob instructed, waving us off. “Skyler, I’m gonna need a little more from ya man. Where’s the guy who sang Hallelujah? Channel that emotion. I mean damn, the fans loved it and the downloads exceeded expectations.” He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. “Think about it, find your muse and get back here ready to prove the whole damn world wrong. They think you’re washed up, a has-been, but you’re not. You’re a goddamn rock god, prove it.”

  I looked away, not wanting to eavesdrop, and escaped to the restroom. I wanted to laugh as I watched Jacob flail his short arms in front of Skyler. Skyler towered over the diminutive producer, but with that little body came a lot of personality.

  Turning away from them, I looked in the mirror and removed my mask. I studied my face. Turning my head from side to side, I examine the scars, trying to see them as if it was the first time. Running a finger down my misshaped skin, feeling the ripples and dips of my cheek. It wasn’t beautiful, and neither was my reflection unless I turned to the right. Then I got a glimpse of what could have been. From this angle, I was worthy of the stage.

  Surgery had always been an option, but it terrified me—I remembered how painful the reconstruction of my ear had been. I made myself a promise never to do it again. Because I was so young, my father accommodated me, putting no pressure on the issue. Only when Madison came into the picture was the issue raised again.

  We released Hallelujah digitally to a wide reception. The fans loved it and downloads exceeded expectations. We sold more of Hallelujah than Skyler did of his previous album, and it was a single. Because of the success, I wasn’t getting pressure from Amelia to perform as she promised, but she found a way around it by pressuring me to be more public. She was so sneaky. Sighing, I wash my hands and take a seat on the armchair before heading back to the studio.

  I kept replaying what Skyler said, and I started thinking about what it would like to put myself out there more. Not that I told Amelia what I was thinking—it’d be like giving a starving dog a bone. I toyed with the idea of another surgery, too. I knew the results wouldn’t be perfect, but it may resolve enough scar tissue to cover up the rest with heavy makeup.

  I looked up at the sound of knuckles connecting on the door. “Elsie, times up, ya good?”

  “Yeah, be right there,” I told Jacob and stood to give myself one last long look in the mirror.

  Thinking about changing the way I looked to accommodate the world made me angry. I preferred the pictures of artists from the 50s and the 60s before music videos were huge and appearance was second to talent. Now there was so much more involved with it the music industry; selling an album meant selling oneself.

  Turning away, I headed back to the studio and resumed my position at the piano. Once again I can feel Skyler’s eyes on me, begging me to look at him. As Afterglow begins again, I give up the fight and let myself sink into the abyss of his eyes. I hear the change in his voice the moment I do. Jacob waves his hands with excitement. It’s exactly what he’d wanted. Hell, it’s what I want too.

  Riding in Style

  Elsie

  “No way I’m getting in that monstrosity,” I stood on the threshold of my front door with my arms crossed stubbornly across my chest. Suspiciously eyeing their idea of transportation.

  Billy grinned and nudged my shoulder with his. “It’s just a standard super stretch black Cadillac XTS limousine. Tinted windows, leather interior, a mini-fridge, and snack bar. Nothing more comfortable or practical.”

  I smiled up at him. “Great. Enjoy the ride. I’m sure I’ll have no problem following you from my car. Not like I’ll lose sight of you in traffic riding in that thing.”

  Skyler picked up the suitcase and guitar at my feet and headed to the limo with them. “Stop being stubborn, El.” He hollered over his shoulder.

  “You can load my belongings, but you can’t load me,” I yelled at his back then sucked in a sharp breath when he turned around dropping my things, and looked me in the eyes.

  “Are you sure about that?” His voice was deep and seductive as he began a slow saunter in my direction.

  Skyler leaned in toward me so that his hands bracketed my head, effectively trapping me in place as I backed up against the door.

  “Elsie,” he whispered, a breath away from my mouth.

  My tongue darted out to lick my suddenly dry lips. His perfect woodsy scent filled my nostrils and caused me to pool between my legs. God, how could just the scent and nearness of him cause me to have painfully erect nipples and shortness of breath?

  “Please, join us in the car so we can discuss the music video for Hallelujah which we’ll be recording in a few short hours. Your thoughts and opinions are important, and it would be easier if we were all in the same vehicle.”

  “But…” my voice was barely a whisper, I couldn’t fully breathe when he was near.

  “Shhhh,” he soothed, still not touching me with anything other than his breath. “I would love to have you in my arms again, but not because I’m hauling you into a limo packed with three other men. No,” his elbows bent so he was somehow even closer while never actually physically touching me. “When I finally put my hands on you again, I’ll be hauling you to bed for very personal reasons. That day isn’t today. Right now is about business. Do the right thing, Elsie. Be the professional I know you are.”

  I nearly sagged in relief when he pushed off the wall and returned to loading my stuff.

  Getting in a car with Skyler was only part of my hesitation about going to LA. What really had me nervous was the appointment I’d made and was keeping a secret. I’d set up a consultation with a world-renowned plastic surgeon’s office. It wasn’t a commitment, so my anxiety level wasn’t through the roof. I didn’t tell anyone about it, including Amelia; I wanted to decide myself, without other people’s input. This was my decision. Taking steps toward knowing all my options gave me a sense of power.

  “Come on, Elsie,” Billy called, pulling me out of my thoughts. He held the door open and gestured for me to climb in. “You can sit next to me, I’ll even let you control the music station.”

  A smile grew across my face as I shook my head. Billy was definitely growing on me. That man could convince an Eskimo to buy ice, I swear. Reluctantly, I gave in and piled into the Cadillac with everyone else.

  As we traveled down the highway, I recognized the experience for what it was—the rock star life. The appearance of wealth and success. This was a statement and a damn good one. Had my head been on business instead of my face, I’d have thought of it myself.

  I kept to myself through the journey but caught Skyler looking at me more than once. It was the first time we’d been in the same space without working on something to keep our focus away from the sexual tension.

  He was so damn sexy, leaning back, his arm draped across the leather seat. His jeans molded to his thick legs and spotted wit
h fashionable rips and holes. Fortuitously, he wore his shitkickers today so he could trudge through the rain. His Van Halen T-shirt was tight across his chest; I remembered how that chest felt pressed against my back. Hard and warm, muscles rippling as he touched me.

  The sight of him amped me up, my fingers twitching. I couldn’t figure out what to do with my hands. Why is it when we get nervous our hands suddenly become foreign appendages? As if all the blood has traveled to our nether regions confusing them.

  “Elsie, do you have anything you want to discuss about the video before we get to LA?” Skyler asked after catching me staring at him for the hundredth time.

  I felt my cheeks turning red at getting busted and looked out the window as I answered. “Not really. I’d like to hear the director’s vision before I ask questions. I always find it best to let the professionals lead the way.”

  “Wes, I’m having a hard time hearing. Switch places with me.” Skyler rose and swapped seats with Wes, who’d been sitting to my right. The move effectively held me trapped between the window and Skyler.

  What once was a comfortable ride with plenty of wiggle room was now the equivalent of a sardine can as Skyler’s thigh pressed against mine. He slung his arm across the back of my seat and turned so his face was less than a foot from mine. “That’s better. Should we play the track again?”

  Why he bothered to ask is beyond me, considering he leaned across my body to the controls and started the song. “I love the contrast of hearing our voices mix. I imagine it’s the way Lucifer feels when he hears a siren. Soulful, enchanting, but never within reach.”

  I shivered at the feel of his proximity; he was making my brain fuzzy, reminding me why I should have driven myself. Biting my lower lip, I risked a glance and turned to face him. “Are you suggesting we film in a pool, me as a dangerous mermaid and you as a lonely pirate, playing and singing from aboard your ship?”