Passage of a Desolate Woman (#2, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  “No, the vegetables are usually for sale on Saturdays by a couple of farmers that set up a table and bring in bounty. But these particular vegetables I grew myself. I have been growing them in pots and then I transferred them to my garden when the cottage was complete.”

  “You grow your own food?! That is excellent! I would love to see your garden,” Jennifer said.

  “I would be happy to show it to you. Come, let’s go now, everyone. It is out back,” he said with a smile. They all walked through the house to the back door and stepped down into a beautiful garden growing fruit and vegetables.

  “This is lovely, Pastor,” She said, as Patrick walked by her side through the garden path.

  He laughed. “Please call me Patrick. We are friends now, and I must say I quite enjoy your enthusiasm for life, Miss Christian. You do not take for granted all these things that God gives us. That is very important in a person. You have mastered appreciation for God’s creations,” he said.

  “Thank you, and call me J... Sarah,” She said blushing for she had almost blown her cover.

  For some reason, getting a compliment from him felt very, very, good. She wanted to please him. She wanted him to see the real her and to like what he saw. This enthusiastic person was the real her and he liked it. It was not a burden like it was to Mrs. Hawkins. But she also could not tell him why she had learned so much appreciation. It was because of her hard life in London and then in prison. Prison! I had been in prison and therefore could never be with a man as good as this.

  Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins stood on the back porch in conversation looking out over the garden as Patrick showed her his herb garden area.

  “Now these are very important to cooking. You will see when you taste the stew. Without them, it would be disastrous,” he said.

  “I am very impressed that you cook, Patrick. I would think that you would have a housekeeper, but I liked that you do it yourself,” She said.

  “Perhaps one day I can teach you a few recipes,” he said as they locked eyes.

  “I would like that,” She said, staring into his kind green eyes. She didn’t realize it but she was mesmerized that she was holding her breath. They stared at each other without a word, for what seemed like a full minute.

  “This is an excellent garden, Pastor Bryce. I cannot wait to sample what you have grown in this stew of yours,” Michael interrupted.

  “Yes, it should be ready now. Let us go in. I am starving,” Patrick said. They turned and walked back toward the back door.

  Moments later, they sat around the dining table eating the most delicious chicken stew Jennifer had ever had in her life. But what was more intriguing than the stew was the way she caught Patrick staring at her every now and then. Her heart was beating so fast that she found it hard not to blush.

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  Two days later, on a Sunday, Jennifer stood in the church tent listening to Patrick’s sermon. Mrs. Hawkins had been right about the heat inside the tent, and she was glad that she had a fan to fan herself. She listened closely and was very impressed with his sermon and how he made it relatable for everyone standing in the tent. He was very wise for someone his age. She admired him even more after watching him work. He spoke the words of the Lord with passion and dedication. He really was an exceptional man.

  She looked around at all the people. They were dressed in their Sunday best and were all intensely listening and engaged with the sermon. She had never seen that in church in London. Usually people were bored and falling asleep. Perhaps it was good to have people standing during the sermon, she thought to herself. Finally the sermon ended and she waited with Mrs. Hawkins and her husband to speak to Patrick. She watched as he shook hands with all of the parishioners.

  “That was a very fine sermon. Congratulations,” She shook his hand.

  “It gives me great pleasure to hear you say that particularly, Miss Christian. Since you are new to this Parish. I am glad that I could hold up to your expectations,” he smiled.

  “Pastor Bryce, that was excellent. I must say it makes me that much more excited to build this church for you, knowing that you are exceptional at sermons,” Mr. Hawkins said.

  “Thank you, Mr. Hawkins. I look forward to the sermons in the new church all the more now,” Patrick said.

  “I begin the survey tomorrow, Monday. I will be laying out the lines of the foundation so that when the materials arrive the plan in the ground and stakes are ready.”

  “Excellent. I will come to lend a helping hand at noon if that is fine with you, Mr. Hawkins. My hands will be tied here at the tent in the morning. I have so much paperwork to do and ordering supplies and such that I do not know how I will get through it,” he said.

  “Oh, well I can help you, if you need help. I have a very elegant and legible hand,” Jennifer blurted out. “That is when Mrs. Hawkins can spare me, of course.”

  Everyone looked to Mrs. Hawkins. “When I can spare her? Of course, I would want her to help in the Lord’s work as much as may be.”

  “Really, why that would be very helpful indeed. I thank you both. If you are able to complete handwritten copies of the order forms, it would be of much help.”

  “Absolutely, just tell me when, sir?”

  “How about here in the tent after you are done with your duties with Mrs. Hawkins tomorrow? There is a fine table to work on just over there,” he said.

  “And a great view. I do love that the tent is open to the pastures like this,” She said pointing to the open flaps of the tent that faced away from the village and toward the grasslands.

  “Sounds like you have yourself an eager helper, Pastor Bryce,” Mr. Hawkins said.

  “The church can always use a hand, Mr. Hawkins. Good day to you all,” Patrick said.

  They turned to walk back toward the Inn.

  “It is a fine day for a stroll. What do you say we walk down on this side and then back up on the other side before heading back to the Inn, dear?” Mr. Hawkins asked Mrs. Hawkins.

  “Yes Michael. But as long as we do not go all the way to the end of the south road. We do not want to get near that tavern,” Mrs. Hawkins said.

  “Yes, we will cross before that. Shall we?” Mr. Hawkins escorted her and Jennifer followed close behind. She loved seeing the bustling village on a Sunday. Everyone was dressed in their finest, walking up and down the high street and stopping for polite conversation.

  “Let’s stop here. I believe I have a bill to settle,” Michael said as they stopped in front of the general shop.

  They entered. As Michael spoke with the shopkeeper, Mrs. Hawkins spoke in Jennifer’s ear. “Sarah I do not think it is a good idea for you to spend time alone with Pastor Bryce. You are an unmarried woman. You should have asked me before you offered yourself up to help him like that,” she said.

  “Oh, I apologise. I should have asked. We will be in the church tent, not his home.”

  “It is un-ladylike. Does he know that you are betrothed?” She arched her brow at Jennifer.

  “Betrothed? Too whom? I am not,” Jennifer said in shock.

  “Well no not officially, but Neil Sanders was very interested in you. He mentioned that you were very much a candidate for marriage.”

  Jennifer was shocked. Had Mrs. Hawkins offered her up for marriage to Mr. Sanders? It was unbelievable. “Mrs. Hawkins, I will marry who I wish when the time comes. I have no inclination of knowing who my husband will be. I think of the Pastor as a friend and nothing more. He is a good man and a man of God,” Jennifer said, trying to influence Mrs. Hawkins’ religious side.

  “That is true. He is a good man, but not of the same means as Mr. Sanders. If you are to marry, let it be comfort. You have been blushing and acting too friendly with the Pastor. He is a Pastor for God's sake, and you should not lead him on that you could possibly be a candidate for a future wife. It is wrong, it is very wrong,” Then she turned and walked away. Jennifer realized that
Mrs. Hawkins was trying to push her own beliefs of marriage on her. To marry for money and not love, that was not what Jennifer wanted.

  Jennifer felt depressed and a little angry. How dare she threaten me like that. It was very unfair. She sighed and followed them out to continue the Sunday stroll.

  The next day, Jennifer sat nervously at the table inside the church tent with Patrick. She was copying the orders into a notebook. She was not her usual lively self. She could not help it. Mrs. Hawkins said she had been flirting and now she did not know how to act.

  “Sarah, is something bothering you? You seem very different today. I can tell that something is weighing heavy on your mind,” Patrick said.

  “Is it that obvious, Patrick? You really can read me like a book,” She said. Jacob was able to do that too, but Jacob knew the real her and this Pastor only knew the fake woman she had created.

  “Thank you. Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Yes, and no. It is very hard for me to say this. I will feel very embarrassed.”

  “You never need to feel embarrassed with me. I am on your side always. I will not pressure you to tell me, but it might make you feel better to get it off your chest. Having something weigh heavily on you is not good for the spirit.”

  “The thing is, Mrs. Hawkins wishes for me to become engaged with a friend of Mr. Hawkins and I do not like him at all. She spoke of this yesterday and that is why it weighs on me today.”

  He was quiet for a moment. He seemed stunned.

  “And that is something that should weigh on you.”

  “Because I do not love him. In fact, I hardly know him at all. I do not know what to do,” She said.

  “I understand. I understand how you must be conflicted. It is your responsibility to honor your employer’s requests. But this is a very personal matter and only you can decide who you share your life with; no one else.”

  “I cannot tell her. I fear she will fire me and I need the job desperately. In truth, she just wants me to be looked after, for the man possesses a very comfortable living. But I prefer happiness over wealth, as long as there is enough to get by and pay for my brother’s medication, then it is all I need.”

  “It is not her place. It goes against your beliefs.”

  “Oh Patrick, to hear you say that. It is soo...”

  “I understand your need for happiness. I too do not need material things for happiness. Just know that happiness is in your heart not in material things. It is up to you to deal with this arrangement. You cannot let Mrs. Hawkins decide your future.”

  “I understand. Thank you for this talk.”

  “I am open for this talk anytime,” he said with a smile.

  Jennifer smiled back. She did feel better after speaking with him. But when he spoke of marriage for happiness, she knew there was only one man out there that could truly make her happy. Jacob Leary. But he wanted her to live the life of a bandit and she could not do that. Still, she had hopes of being his wife one day. But that one day may never come ,and in front of her then was an agreeable man that she found kind and easy to talk to.

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  She did not go to dinner that evening, downstairs at the Inn. She told Mrs. Hawkins she had a headache and a tray of food sent up. Mrs. Hawkins was always bossy and sometimes mean, but she did take care of Jennifer when she needed it and asked very little of her as far as work.

  But after Jennifer ate, she lay in bed pondering Patrick’s words. He was right of course. He was an honorable man of God, a pastor, and he had morals and strong beliefs. She did too. But it was different for her because she also held very dark secrets. If he knew the real her, Patrick would be repulsed.

  She knew what was in her heart. She had no feelings for Neil Sanders, and no true feelings of passion for Pastor Bryce. He embodied the life that she wanted but could not have; she had been a ruined woman.

  She admired his work ethic and his way of life. But it was not possible; she had no control over her own life and she was a convict in hiding. Patrick could not even call her by her real name, whereas Jacob could. It was very unfair.

  The following morning, Mrs. Hawkins and Jennifer joined Michael at the church building site. She hoped that Patrick would not be there because she was very embarrassed by her behavior the day before, telling him too much of her affairs.

  She sat at a table with Mrs. Hawkins as Michael ordered some men around. They were drawing lines on the ground. She knew it was the outline for the church.

  Coming down the High Street toward the site, Jennifer noticed some very elegant men in suits approaching. She had not seen them before. Perhaps they were new associates of Mr. Hawkins.

  “Who is that Mrs. Hawkins? They are quite fancy. They remind me of well-to-do gentleman in London.” She said.

  “I do not know. They seem to be wanting to speak to Michael. What could they want with him? Maybe they are from the bank?”

  They watched as the gentleman talked to Mr. Hawkins. Then Mr. Hawkins was grew uneasy. Soon he was shouting at them. Mrs. Hawkins grew startled. Michael was pointed at the church site . “This is a place of God. You cannot do this!”

  The men walked away. Jennifer looked at Mrs. Hawkins, who looked confused as well. She knew not to intervene as so they waited and watched. Michael seemed to be addressing the workers and dismissing them. Then he came to them. He grabbed his coat and hat off the table. He was very angry and red in the face.

  “What is it darling?” Mrs. Hawkins asked.

  “Let’s go back to the Inn. I need to get out of this heat,” he stomped off. Mrs. Hawkins and Jennifer stomped after him. He was silent the entire walk to the Inn, “Go inside. I will be back for dinner. I need to meet with Pastor Bryce.” Then he stormed off before they could ask why.

  “What do you think this is all about Mrs. Hawkins?” She said.

  “I do not know. But it cannot be good. Michael never loses his temper unless it is something very troubling indeed. Come, let us go inside fo tea. I am sure we will learn in time.”

  She was right. At dinner that night, Michael broke the news to them. It was very bad news. It was news that would make their trip cut short.

  “Those men today were from the railroad company. They want to extend the railroad line into Knowl Hill. They want to build the station right on the site that we have designated for the church,” he said.

  “What? How can that be? It is not right.” Mrs. Hawkins said.

  “They cannot do that. Does the church not own the land? I do not understand. How can they be so evil? How can they want to take land away from a church? What did you tell them? You have to stop them, Mr. Hawkins,” Jennifer rambled on in a panic.

  “The church does not own the land yet. It has a hold on the land for purchase. But the church is still waiting for all the paperwork to go through. It is possible for the railroad company to offer double the amount of money, maybe even triple. Lord knows they have the funds to do it. But they can legally take the land away from the church. There is nothing that I or Pastor Bryce can do about it. Money talks.

  “No, I will not accept that. There must be something that we can do. Is it possible for the church to be built somewhere else then?” She asked.

  “All of the plots of land around the village have already been spoken for. The only option would be to build it further out on the pastures. The problem with that is that the winters here are harsh and it would be hard for people to get to church on foot or by horse. It is one of the main reasons it is going to be built at the end of the High Street. It needs to be where people can easily get to church. It would be wrong for them to risk their lives in the deep snow just to go to worship. Pastor Bryce has said so himself.”

  “This is most unfortunate. I cannot believe this. We have to stop those men from taking the land. It is very unfair. They can not just walk in here out of nowhere and decide they want something.”

  “I am afraid they
can, Jennifer. They are very powerful businessman. No one says no to the railroad company. It is just the way of things. Not even a church can compete with them,” Michael said.

  “So, what does this mean for us? Does this mean we will return back to home if the land is bought by the railroad?” Mrs. Hawkins asked.

  “I do not know. Maybe. I could stay to build the church on the pastures if I must. But that is up to Pastor Bryce and the building company allowing me to redo the entire design and survey again. The church might not be able to afford such expenses. It would mean that we would have to be here longer if so. But Pastor Bryce mentioned having to move to a next village over if the railroad company took the land. He must speak with his superiors,” Michael said.

  “No, this is wrong. It is all wrong,” Jennifer said.

  “Sarah, get a hold of yourself. You will make a scene,” Mrs. Hawkins whispered.

  Jennifer sat there and sulked the rest of the night. Something had to be done. She would need to speak with Pastor Bryce the next day. She was embarrassed to do so, but this was more important than her pride. She would have to swallow her pride and go see what was really going on. A lot was on the line for because of this. If the railroad company bought the land and there was no church built at all, then she would have to return with Mrs. Hawkins and Mr. Hawkins. She would be asked to marry Neil Sanders, and she would refuse and possibly be fired from her position.

  She needed to know if that was her fate as soon as possible, so that she could plan on how she would be sending money home to Adam. Only Patrick had the answers.

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  The next morning, She got dressed in her grey dress and bonnet. Jennifer left after breakfast, telling Mrs. Hawkins that she was going across the street to the general shop. She lied. She went straight to the church tent to find Patrick. To her luck, he was sitting at the table.