Southern Belles and Spells Matchmaker Mysteries

by Amy Boyles

  “Is that true what he said? About you being a dame?”

  A makeup artist approached and started touching up Frankie’s hair and powdering her cheeks. Frankie held a mirror and watched, her eyes full of scrutiny.

  “It is—I’m a dame. I would think you’d know that.”

  I caught sight of Thorne. He strode down the aisle, his hulking mass pretty much making everyone in his path look like a dwarf.

  He scowled, which was bad for the dating game. I could just hear Vic introducing him.

  Ladies and gentlemen, our next contestant doesn’t want to be here, but for some reason is. He’s an angry vampire. You’ll want to stay out of his way if you meet him on a dark street. Or ladies, you might not, just depends how kinky you like your men. Introducing—Thorne Blackwood.

  “Why would I know that? About you being a dame?”

  Thorne disappeared from view right as my family appeared. Mama wore a beautiful flowing pink gown while Rose led Pig on a leash. I nearly smacked my forehead in frustration. For heaven’s sake, why did she bring Pig? But that wasn’t all—Broom followed behind them, sweeping the floor.

  I groaned. Why was my family here in such a display? Well, at least it offered a possible distraction. Perhaps Pig would run wild while Broom started spanking folks. That would give me something to focus on other than Thorne and Frankie.

  Frankie spotted them, too. “Well, if it isn’t your mother, Glinda.”

  Not wanting to cause any drama, I smiled politely. “Yes. She looks very busy.”

  Frankie sniffed. “She’s not too busy to say hello to an old friend, I’m sure. Glinda!”

  I cringed. As far as I knew, these two women hadn’t had a real meeting since Frankie had arrived in Witch’s Forge. I hated to see what would happen between them given the hints about being mortal enemies and all that.

  Mama’s back straightened. Every muscle I could see tensed, right down to the muscles that controlled her eyes. She slowly pivoted in our direction, her gaze floating until it landed on Frankie.

  Mama’s mouth split into a cold smile. “Frankie, so glad to see you.”

  Frankie extended her hands to Mama and air-kissed her cheeks. Mama looked like she wanted to vomit.

  “Oh Glinda, I’m so sorry we haven’t had a chance to chat since I’ve been in town, but you know how it is,” Frankie said with her delicate Southern accent sprinkling the words, “when you’re trying to find your soul mate and all. It takes just about everything out of you.”

  “I’m sure,” Mama said snidely. “When you’re on your third soul mate like you are, it must be difficult to narrow down the field.”

  Frankie stared at Mama before breaking into a delicate laugh. “Oh, you’re so funny, Glinda. But it’s true. Charming—” I nearly jumped at the mention of my name. I did not want to be dragged into their feud, or whatever it was. “Have I ever told you that I’ve been married before?”

  “Three times.” Mama threw her hair over one shoulder in a dramatic flourish. “And all of them your sworn soul mates.”

  “Well,” I said, “divorce is common, and if you didn’t use a matchmaker before, then the pairing up might not have been exactly right.”

  Mama laughed. “Oh, dear. Frankie’s husbands didn’t leave. They all died.”

  My jaw dropped. What was the likelihood that one woman could be married three times and they would all die? I guess it wouldn’t be so common if she was a gold digger and the man much, much older.

  “Well,” I said, trying to make the best of the situation, “if they were older, they might have been in bad health.”

  “They were all young,” Mama snapped.

  I cringed. Oh. This looked bad. Very bad. So Frankie Firewalker was a serial marryier? Then her husbands died? My heart drummed. Was I setting one of these men up to be Frankie’s fourth dead husband?

  Frankie’s laugh rang out. “Oh Glinda, you know as well as I do that my husbands, rest their souls, all died from accidents that couldn’t be avoided. Your husband died too, if you don’t remember.”

  Mama’s eyes narrowed to slits. “I remember all too well,” she said with a chill in her voice. “My husband died from a vampire attack. I’m sure you recall that, Frankie. Last I checked, your husbands died either from skiing accidents or falling off the side of a ship. There’s no comparison.”

  Frankie tutted. “Could it be that Glinda Calhoun is jealous?”

  “Jealous?” Mama practically spat. “Of what? A string of dead husbands?”

  “I don’t know, Glinda,” Rose interjected. “A string of dead husbands who left you a fortune might be something to be jealous of.”

  Pig snorted in agreement.

  Frankie took a menacing step forward. “Not of the husbands, of my title, Glinda. We both know you wanted the title of Magical Dame, but only one is handed out every twenty years.”

  Frankie pressed her palm to her chest proudly. “And I know for a fact you threw your hat into the ring. What can I say?” She shot Mama an innocent look. “The judges decided I was the best witch for the job—I mean title. But don’t worry, you’ll have another chance in, say, twenty years.”

  She threw her head back and cackled.

  Mama’s face burned bright red. She glared at Frankie as if she wanted to magic her head right off.

  She fisted her hands tightly to her side. “Now you listen here, Dame Frankie Firewalker.”

  “Yes?”

  Mama took a menacing step forward. “I never once cared about that stupid title. What good would it have done me? I already teach whomever I want, whenever I want. Witches flock to me from all over the world to learn what I know. I could care less about a title that means nothing other than”—she dropped her voice—“you showed a few judges your panties.”

  Frankie gasped. She clutched her throat as if searching for an invisible string of pearls. “How dare you suggest I would stoop so low.”

  Mama’s brow hiked to the ceiling. “Is it really so outlandish?”

  “Not if you ask me,” Rose added. “Anyone who would show a stranger their panties might also off their husbands.”

  “Why I never!” Frankie staggered back. “I want nothing to do you with, Glinda Calhoun. How dare you suggest, in my brightest moment, that I would have done something so terrible, so drastic for nothing more than a simple title.”

  Mama folded her arms proudly. “If it looks like a duck…”

  “You stay away from me,” Frankie nearly shouted. “Stay away while I’m in this town. You’ve called me a lot of things in the past, but what you’ve done today has crossed a line.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Rose said innocently. “Seems to me you may have crossed the line—the panty line.”

  Mama and Rose burst into laughter as Frankie stalked off, visibly shaken.

  I groaned. “Great. I’m her matchmaker. Why’d the two of y’all have to go and screw that up for me?”

  Mama shrugged.

  I slapped my thigh in frustration. “So is that the beef you have with her? That Frankie stole a stupid title from you?”

  “No,” Mama said stiffly. “That’s not my beef with her. My beef is that she tried to steal your father from me. If I were you, I would watch her with Thorne. There’s no telling what that woman will do.”

  The lights flickered to suggest it was nearly showtime. I saw Thorne come out from backstage. Our gazes locked, and my stomach felt like a pool of eels swam in it.

  “Looks like it’s showtime,” Rose said. “Let’s get to our seats. I can’t wait to see how this turns out.”

  I wanted to cower in a corner and shut my eyes. Seeing Frankie in action was the last thing I wanted. But I had no choice. It was go time.

  Chapter 4

  “Well I’d have to say, Vic, that if that little lady wanted to come to my ranch, she’d be welcome anytime.”

  Tex Tye had the audience on the edge of their seats. With his Southern drawl, cowboy hat, thin leather tie and cowboy bo
ots, he was certainly a charmer for this crowd.

  They couldn’t see him, unfortunately, but I knew exactly what he looked like. So did Frankie. She insisted on seeing all the men before the game show, even if she didn’t meet them in person—except for Thorne, that was.

  Vic rested his chin on his palm. He sat behind a desk looking comfortable and interested. He leaned in Tex’s direction and nodded at Frankie.

  “And tell us, Tex. What would you do once you got to your ranch?”

  “Well, we’d walk around. I’d show her my prize horses. Have a little candlelit dinner overlooking my meadow.”

  The crowd ahhh’d at that.

  Vic shot Frankie a relaxed smile. “And what do you think about that, Frankie?”

  Frankie fanned herself. “I think it’s a great idea. I love candlelight and meadows.”

  “Is it safe to say you’re willing to go on a date with Bachelor Number Two?”

  Frankie shot Vic a shy smile. I rolled my eyes. What an act.

  “I think it is safe to say so, Vic. I’ll go on a date with Bachelor Number Two.”

  The crowd cheered and clapped.

  Vic shuffled a stack of index cards and tapped them on the desk. “Congratulations, Two. You’ve got a date. Now it’s time to move on to Bachelor Number Three. This bachelor spends his days defending Witch’s Forge from bad guys. He’s not quite human, but he’s not quite alive either. Oops, and if you want to leave town with him, you can’t, because he’s bound to remain here until his daddy forgives him. Y’all, please give a big round of applause for Bachelor Number Three.”

  I just knew Thorne was stewing. I quietly made my way from the side of the audience to backstage, where I could read his expressions. I still didn’t know what Frankie had said to him to make Thorne want to do this, but it must’ve been good.

  Vic’s voice carried around back. “Bachelor Number Three, why don’t you tell us what you’d do on a date with our bachelorette?”

  By this time I could see Thorne. He looked absolutely annoyed. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. When he spoke, his voice came out gruff.

  “I’d take the bachelorette to dinner.”

  Vic paused. Thorne brushed lint from his pants. “Is that all, Bachelor?”

  “That’s all,” Thorne said. “Dinner.”

  “Will it be a fancy restaurant?” Vic coaxed.

  Thorne shrugged. “I guess.”

  I closed my eyes in frustration. Thorne had to do this right. He was one of the matches I picked for Frankie. If he didn’t go along with this, the mayor would be mad at me. It would put my entire contract as matchmaker in jeopardy. I couldn’t afford that.

  I crossed to Thorne and bent down where no one but him could see me. Thorne stiffened as I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

  “You’ve got to put effort in this.”

  “I don’t want to,” he whispered.

  “This could mean my job.”

  He glared at me. “I’m taking her out on a date. Isn’t that enough?”

  I bit my lower lip and placed a hand on Thorne’s knee. Warmth snaked up my arm. I forced myself to look into his eyes. There I saw emotion swelling.

  “If you won’t do it for anything else,” I said, prepared to go out on a limb, “do it for me.”

  “I am doing this for you,” he argued.

  “Really do it for me. If you botch this, I could end up fired and be forced to leave.”

  Thorne’s eyes narrowed. He clenched his jaw and shook his head in disgust. “I didn’t want to do this because of you.”

  His words hit me like a barb to my heart. “What?”

  “Bachelor?” Vic’s voice cut through our conversation. “Are you still there?”

  “I’m here.”

  “What else would you do besides dinner? I have to say, our bachelorette doesn’t look impressed.”

  “I don’t care about her,” he whispered.

  I shot him a warning look.

  He rolled his eyes and huffed. “Fine. After dinner we’d go dancing. Then take a long walk on a magical beach that she created because I don’t have magic. We’d talk all night and wouldn’t notice the time passing.”

  I gave Thorne a thumbs-up while he glared at me. “We’d have so much to talk about that we wouldn’t notice when the sun rose in the distance.”

  “Ahh,” Vic said. “That sounds about as romantic as romantic can get. What do you think about that, Bachelorette?”

  Frankie’s voice sounded like she had a huge smile on her face. “That sounds like one of the most romantic dates I’ve ever heard.”

  “Satisfied?” Thorne said to me.

  I nodded.

  “This isn’t my cup of tea.”

  “You mean blood,” I corrected.

  He shot me a scorching look. “You know what I mean.”

  “All you have to do now is go on a date with her. No one said you have to do more than that.”

  “Thank goodness.”

  Vic’s voice cut into our conversation. “Tell us, Bachelorette, who will you go on your first date with?”

  Frankie paused for a moment. “I think I’ll go out with Bachelor Number Three.”

  I was shocked. Tex had given way better answers than Thorne, and even Watts Pugh before him had said he would take her on a hot air balloon ride over Witch’s Forge before landing on a mountaintop to eat dinner. I mean, come on. Who wanted to give up a hot air balloon ride over a grumpy vampire?

  Frankie Firewalker, apparently.

  Vic’s voice rang out again in all its cheesy glory. “Well, okay, then. Bachelorette, get ready to meet Bachelor Number Three as well as your other potential suitors.”

  “I’d better go,” I whispered.

  Thorne shot me a look full of envy, as if he’d rather be retreating than me. The screen hiding his identity disappeared, his chair whirled around and the crowd cheered as Thorne’s identity was revealed.

  I scooted back to the audience sideline just in time to watch as Thorne rose and strode toward Frankie. Frankie extended her hand and a rose. Thorne took it and went for a shake but Frankie threw herself at him and planted her lips atop his.

  The crowd roared.

  My heart stopped. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Frankie wasn’t supposed to kiss Thorne. I stared openmouthed, shocked and, I’ll admit, jealous.

  Anger knotted up my stomach as Frankie kept her lips hinged on Thorne’s.

  And the crowd just kept on shouting with glee.

  Thorne pulled away from Frankie, finally, and shook her hand. His gaze flashed to me, and I made sure to keep my expression stony.

  “Well,” Rose said from behind me, “looks like Frankie is up to her old tricks again.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Vic motioned for Thorne and Frankie to sit. “Tell me, you two lovebirds, are you all set for your date tomorrow night?”

  Thorne cleared his throat. “I just have to get a few things in order and we’ll be all set.”

  Vic wagged his eyebrows. “A few things in order, huh?” he said suggestively. “Sounds like this relationship is headed toward a love connection.”

  “He is one of my potential soul mates,” Frankie added with a smile.

  Rose shuffled up beside me. “What I mean is this is the sort of thing she did to your mother and father, the thing that started the rift between Glinda and Frankie.”

  I glanced over as Rose cooed to Pig, who sat, no surprise, in Rose’s arms.

  “But this isn’t like that. I touched Frankie’s arm and felt for her soul mates. This isn’t like she knew I was dating Thorne or anything. She’d just appeared at the wedding.”

  Rose quirked a brow. “I wouldn’t be so sure about what you know when it comes to that witch. She’s manipulative and doesn’t like our family. If Frankie had things her way, she would have married William.”

  “My father?”

  Rose nodded. “That’s right.”

  Pig snorted and Rose pulled a
chocolate square from her purse before feeding it to the swine.

  I watched as Vic droned on with Thorne and Frankie. Then he rose and introduced the other two suitors.

  “I just don’t see that,” I said. “There’s no way Frankie somehow adjusted what I would see when I touched her. I don’t buy it.”

  Rose shot me a look full of warning. “She’s a wily one.”

  “All I know is that I have a job to do. One that means I have to be impartial about this entire process. Who Frankie picks and who picks Frankie isn’t up to me. It’s up to them.”

  “Still.” Rose fluffed her hair. “I’d keep a close eye on her. There’s no telling what Frankie will do when she’s left alone with him.”

  Rose glanced over her shoulder back toward where Mama sat. “It wouldn’t be the first time Frankie tried to steal a man from a woman in our family. If she lives to be one hundred, I doubt it will be the last.”

  Vic rose. “Thank you all for coming out to watch our dating show. Stay tuned for tomorrow night when we shoot live from Frankie’s first date with Thorne. I guarantee you won’t want to miss out.”

  The crowd clapped and the audience murmured as they exited the studio.

  The mayor shuffled up to me, India quickly following, her heels clacking on the floor.

  “Charming, that went great, don’t you think?”

  Before I had a chance to reply, the mayor bulldozed right on through. “I want to make sure these dates show Witch’s Forge in a good light. That will be up to you, Charming.”

  “Me?” I scoffed. “Mayor, I’m supposed to make sure the men show up. I’m not supposed to be some sort of date coordinator.”

  The mayor turned around, pulled a compact from her purse and powdered her nose. “I don’t see the difference. You brought all of them together; you can make sure the dates are successful. It’s simple, really. Just make sure the dining goes smoothly and the hot tub scenes do as well.”

  I bristled. “Hot tub scene? Are we really doing that?”

  She nodded. “Absolutely. With each man. They always do it on those big network shows. There’s no point in not doing it here.”

  My stomach pretzeled. “I don’t know…”