Christmastime 1945

by Linda Mahkovec

  Only Frankie’s babbling broke the utter silence that now filled the room.

  Suddenly, Eugene’s door flew open. “Mom!” he cried, running down the stairs and into the kitchen.

  They all jumped to attention. Eugene was smiling widely, though his cheeks were shining with tears.

  “Mom! It’s from Edna! She’s alive! Thank God, she’s fine. She made it home!” He squeezed Kate and lifted her off her feet.

  “I’m so happy, Eugene! What does she say?”

  He held the letter out, searching for certain lines. “It took her a while to get home. There were delays…storms at sea…” He smiled up at Kate. “She hopes I haven’t forgotten about her. Not a day goes by without my thinking of you. Now I’m hoping against hope that the local girls haven’t snatched you up.” Eugene laughed at the absurdity of that remark. “Please write – or better yet, call me, if you can get through.” He looked up, beaming. “She wants to see me. She wants me to call her!”

  Jessica gave him a shove. “Well, what are you waiting for? Call her!” They followed him to the telephone in the hallway. He picked up the receiver and placed his call, clearing his throat as he waited for an answer. After several more attempts, the call finally went through. He choked up on hearing Edna’s voice.

  Kate and Ursula went back into the kitchen, pulling Jessica along with them.

  Eugene was overcome with pent-up emotion and he dropped onto the hall bench. “Edna.” His voice cracked. “I just got your letter. I was so afraid something happened to you.” He broke down, giving into the months of desperate worry. Then after static and fragmented words and talking over one another, his tone grew happier and happier.

  Kate peeked around the corner at him, and paced the kitchen again, this time in joy. She lifted her apron to dab her eyes. She had never seen Eugene so happy – he was in love! Some of the things they heard him say caused them to gape at one another in astonishment.

  “You could be here for Christmas! With me – with us. I can show you the farm. My brothers aren’t home yet, but my sisters are here, and Mom. And Frankie – oh, you’ll love him. He makes you happy just to look at him.” Eugene listened and nodded. “Me too, Edna. Every single day…” He jumped to his feet. “Sure, I can! That’s less than a week! I waited this long, I can wait another week. Sure. Just let me know. I can be there anytime, just say when.” Then he lowered his voice. “I love you, too. With all my heart.”

  Eugene came into the kitchen, wiping at his face and smiling. “You’re all going to meet her!” He turned quickly to Kate. “That’s all right, isn’t it Mom? I invited her to come for Christmas.”

  “Of course, it’s all right! I couldn’t be happier.” She squeezed Eugene tight.

  “Her brother’s driving some fella home for Christmas to Davenport, so she can catch a ride that far. I told her I can meet her there and bring her here for a visit. She wants to meet you all. And I’ll meet her family when I take her back.” He sank into a chair, and for a moment appeared stunned. “I can’t believe it – after so long not knowing…”

  Jessica pulled out the chair next to him and sat on the edge. “I can’t wait to meet her. What’s she like?”

  “You’ll like her, Jess. You, too, Ursula. You’ll all love her. You won’t be able to help yourselves.” Frankie was banging on his tray again. Ursula started to quiet him, but Eugene jumped up and lifted Frankie. “Especially you!” He walked around the kitchen, bouncing Frankie into laughter. “I’ve been waiting for so long to hear if she’s all right. And now, she’ll be here in a week!” He faced Jessica and Ursula. “Let’s go to town! Come on, Mom. I need you to help me buy her something.”

  “I can’t leave in the middle of baking. You kids go.”

  “I’ll go!” Jessica jumped up. “I’ll just change and be right back down.”

  Eugene turned to Ursula. “How about it, Ursula? Come with us.”

  “Thanks, Eugene. But I need to feed Frankie and put him down for a nap.” She took Frankie from him and smiled. “I’m really happy for you.”

  Eugene draped his arm around Kate’s shoulder. “Edna said on the train back from New York, all she thought about was sitting on the porch with me at night. I had told her how peaceful it was.”

  “That’ll have to wait until spring. Oh, I’m so happy for you, son. It will be good to have her here. I wish your brothers would be able to meet her. I don’t know why they haven’t gotten word to me. Either of them.”

  “Now you’re sounding like me, fretting over nothing. My letter came through, didn’t it? Be patient, Mom.”

  “You’re right. Oh, I’m so happy. A week! I’ll have to get the house in order.”

  Jessica was soon back in the kitchen. “Let’s go, Romeo,” she cried, pulling on her coat and dashing out the door.

  Eugene grabbed his flight jacket and started to follow Jessica outside – but then he went back into the kitchen and hugged Kate in happiness. He briefly put his arm around Ursula as he gave Frankie a quick tickle goodbye. “Edna loves kids. She won’t be able to leave you alone.”

  The gratitude Kate saw in Ursula’s eyes was almost painful to witness. She followed Eugene to the door and waved goodbye.

  On the drive into town, Eugene talked about how he would show Edna the farm and the town, and how he would take her to the Christmas dance, and bring her to the Bloomfield’s party. Only once did he show disappointment. “I wish Ursula would’ve come with us.”

  “Why would she do that when you’ve been such a bear to her?”

  “I know, I know. I’ve been hard on her.” Eugene’s face darkened with guilt. “It took me a while to – to get used to the idea of her married to a – German.”

  “His name is Friedrich.”

  “Friedrich. And I still think it’s wrong. Dead wrong. But I don’t like to see her looking so worried. To be honest, I hoped it was all a mistake and that she would come to her senses. But it’s obvious they belong together.”

  Jessica threw her hands up and let them fall on her lap. “Well, about time! So now that you’re happy, you’re all right with other people being happy.”

  “That’s not it, Jess. I was angry. Angry at the kind of life she’s going to have. Angry that Germans were on our farm! Angry – angry at everything.”

  “Ursula needs all the help she can get, especially from her family.”

  “I know. Mom and I talked about it. Figuring out how to get him back here.”

  Jessica’s head snapped up and she was about to speak but Eugene cut her off.

  “And that was before I got Edna’s letter, so don’t say anything.”

  After several minutes Eugene became aware of Jessica’s silence. “This is the longest you’ve gone without talking since I got home. What’s eating you?”

  “You can talk.”

  “I had good reason for being upset. I thought the love of my life was gone.”

  Jessica turned and studied Eugene’s expression. “She must be something special.”

  “She is. I never thought I’d find someone like her. That just goes to show you, Jess, you can never give up.”

  “You sure have a lot of wisdom now that things are going your way.”

  Eugene laughed out loud and began humming under his breath, tapping his fingers in rhythm on the steering wheel.

  Jessica stared out the window, deep in thought. “Did you know Clem was injured?”

  “I heard he was. Why?”

  “I was just wondering what happened. Do you know?”

  Eugene shook his head. “No. But he saw some awful fighting.” He glanced over at Jessica, wondering what was on her mind. “Clem’s a good guy.”

  “I know he is! Why does everyone have to speak to me like that about him? Like I’m going to hurt him.”

  “I didn’t say that.” He shifted gears as they came into town and looked over at Jessica. “He’s a good six or seven years older than you, Jess.”

  Her face tightened at the remark. “Dad
was twelve years older than Mom.”

  “Are you going to see him? Is he expecting you?”

  “No. But I’ve got something to say to him.”

  “Well, go easy on him.”

  Jessica threw him another look of outrage, and Eugene put up his hands, laughing. “All right, all right. Clem can fight his own battles.” He pulled into the town square and parked the truck. “Come on, you gotta help me. I want to get her something special.”

  Jessica jumped out of the truck. “Well, let’s start at Arnold’s. They have some real pretty dresses and cardigans in for the holidays.”

  Eugene stopped. “I was thinking of something else.”

  Jessica lead the way, calling over her shoulder, “Like what?”

  “Like a ring.”

  Jessica spun around. “Are you serious?”

  “She’s the girl for me. No doubt about it.”

  “Hmm, I think you know her a lot better than you let on. Well let’s go into the jewelry store and see what they have.”

  A half hour later, they walked out, Eugene all smiles. “It’s perfect. I know it is. C’mon. Let’s go look at Arnold’s. I want her to have some presents to unwrap. This,” he said, tucking the small package into his coat pocket, “will be a surprise.”

  Just as Eugene opened the door to Arnold’s, Jessica spotted Clem across the way.

  “Clem!” she called out to him.

  “Jeez, you sure are one for hollering.” Eugene shook his head and stepped inside the store.

  Clem saw her, and began walking in the other direction.

  “Clem!” Jessica called out again and crossed the street. She caught up with him and stood in front of him. “You can ignore me all you want, Clem, but I’ve got something to say to you!”

  He looked around and let out a moan at what was coming.

  “Are you listening?”

  “I know what you’re going to say, Jessica, and you’ve got every right to tell me what a heel I am. And you’re right. You deserve a hell of a lot better, and you’re just wasting your time on me. I tried to tell you that before, but you wouldn’t listen. Maybe now you know and – ”

  Jessica raised her eyes to the sky. “Are you finished?”

  He dropped his hands to his side and looked her in the eye.

  Jessica knew that she would always remember this moment. A few tiny snowflakes drifted from the sky. The air was sharp and clean. She should have felt cold, yet she was filled with warmth as she looked at Clem. His green flannel shirt showed under his jacket, making his eyes even greener. He was trying so hard to keep a distance, to chase her away. Yet everything he did, every word he spoke, drew her closer.

  “Go ahead,” he said. “I’m listening.”

  She took a step towards him, held his face between her hands, and kissed him on the mouth. “I’m going to marry you, Clem Corrigan. And I don’t care how long it takes.”

  Taken aback, he watched her turn around, cross the street, and go directly into Arnold’s, without once looking back at him. The protective wall around his heart had been smashed with a deft touch – soft as a whisper, with all the force of a gale.

  Now, only the truth would serve.

  *

  The lowering sun turned the snowy world outside into a golden and rosy landscape. Ursula stood at the living room window with Frankie on her hip, hoping for a glimpse of Friedrich. Mr. Creight had taken him and Gustav in the morning to the Bloomfield farm to help finish with the old shed they were tearing down. They now came back at end of day to return the tools.

  Eugene saw Ursula stationed at the window and shook his head. He walked into the kitchen and stood next to Kate at the stove. Jessica was setting the table. “When the hell is Otto coming back?”

  “Any day,” said Kate.

  Eugene huffed in exasperation and leaned in to whisper. “She waits for Friedrich all day, every day, just for a word or a glimpse of him. That damned Creight is always in the way.”

  Kate raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

  “I know, I know. I haven’t been much better.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’ve come to your senses because I’ve fixed my mind. The next time Friedrich and Gustav are here for the day, I’m cooking them an early Christmas dinner. And we’ll all eat together at the dining room table.”

  Eugene went to the window and saw Ed and Mr. Creight talking outside the machine shed, while Friedrich and Gustav cleaned the tools.

  Kate added a chunk of butter to the pan of corn. “I’ve already decided that I’m going to bake them a – ”

  “This is all wrong!” Eugene said, grabbing his jacket. He stormed out the door and stood on the porch.

  Kate was taken by surprise at his sudden action and followed him.

  “Friedrich!” Eugene called out.

  His angry tone caused the men to look up.

  “Over here! We need you inside.” Eugene looked straight at Creight, daring him to interfere.

  Creight simply nodded at Friedrich to go ahead, and continued his conversation with Ed.

  Friedrich set down the tools. It was the first time Eugene had ever called him by name. As he walked up the steps, he tried to read the expression on Eugene’s face.

  “Go on inside,” Eugene said gently, gesturing to the door that Kate held open. Then he walked out to Gustav and gave him a hand with the tools.

  Ursula had seen the exchange from the window and stood rigid, unsure what Eugene had in mind. But when Kate showed Friedrich into the living room, she flooded with joy.

  Kate left them alone and went back to the kitchen.

  Friedrich embraced Ursula and Frankie. He held his son close and kissed Ursula, wrapping his arm around her. They sat on the couch, and with Frankie on his lap, they leaned into a tender embrace.

  “It’s been so long since I’ve held you, Friedrich.” They clung to each other tightly, as if afraid to let go.

  He put her hair behind her ear and touched her amethyst earrings. His eyes filled with sadness. “I promised I would give you a ring to match.”

  “And you will! Don’t speak like that.” She pulled back a little, alarmed at the tone of resignation in his voice.

  “Ursula. These few minutes are a gift from your brother. We may not have another chance to say our goodbye.”

  “Our goodbye?” Ursula sat back, her eyes filled with fear. “Do you know something? Did they tell you something?”

  “No. But I don’t think I will be here much longer. I think – ”

  Ursula stopped his words with a kiss. “The camp needs you. They’re using you more and more. And now it’s almost Christmas. Nothing will happen anytime soon. You’ll most likely be here until all the POWs have – ”

  “They’re closing the branch camps. It’s just a matter of time before – ”

  “But yours is still open. Surely – ”

  “Ursula, please listen!”

  The edge of anger silenced her. She leaned back and angled her head warily, afraid of what he was going to say.

  Frankie had climbed off his lap to play with one of his toys. Friedrich clasped Ursula’s hands.

  “Our time is short. We must be prepared.”

  “But the camp needs you. There’s still so much work to do. We need you on the farm.” Her words sounded flat, even to her ears.

  “We must speak about your future. I’ve tried many times to discuss this with you and you never want to talk about it.”

  “Our future!” Ursula’s breathing quickened. “And we’ve already discussed it, Friedrich. As soon as you’re repatriated we’ll work on getting you back here. But that’s many months away.”

  Friedrich studied Ursula’s face – her eyes darted around as if seeking escape. He couldn’t add to her misery.

  He lifted Frankie and spoke cheerfully as he walked around with him. “If I have to leave, you be a good boy for your mother. And when I come back, I’ll teach you how to build things. And we’ll go fishing and hiking.” Friedrich sm
iled to Ursula, then lifted Frankie high above his head. “Would you like that?”

  Ursula rose to her feet. “Stop it! I know what you’re doing! You don’t think you’ll survive, and you want me to remember you like this. You will survive! Do you hear me? You will be strong, and resolute, and you will never give up. You must, Friedrich!” She embraced him, her heart pounding wildly.

  He put his arm around her. “My Ursula. I will do everything you say. But we must be realistic. Anything could happen. You mustn’t wait for me if – if…”

  Ursula pushed him away, her eyes afire. “I won’t wait for you! I’ll go and find you myself. I will! I’ll bring you home – ” Her voice broke, and she turned her back to him.

  He saw that Mr. Creight had started his truck, ready to go. Friedrich cradled Frankie’s head on his shoulder and rocked him. In his ear, he whispered that he loved him, and handed him to Ursula.

  “I must go.” He smiled sadly at the anger that glittered in her deep blue eyes. His hands framed her face. “My beautiful Ursula. My wife.” He kissed her and quickly left.

  Ursula’s body shook with suppressed anger and fear. She went upstairs with Frankie and stood in her bedroom window. As the truck took Friedrich away, she wept freely, releasing her grief in low moans. She lay down with Frankie, and curled around him, sobbing.

  Kate checked on her several times. When she brought up a tray of supper to her, she found her at the window again, staring out into the darkness. Frankie was asleep in his crib.

  She put her arm around Ursula’s shoulder. “Come eat something.” She guided her to the chair next to her bed.

  Ursula sat and spoke calmly. “I argued with Friedrich. For the first time. I was furious with him. He spoke as if he might not survive.”

  Kate stroked Ursula’s hair. “He knows how afraid you are. He understands you’re not angry at him.”

  Ursula looked up with haunted eyes. “I’m so afraid. I won’t be there to protect him. I won’t even know what’s happening to him.” Ursula pressed her hands to her face. “He wanted to talk about it and I refused. He needed to talk and I – I just couldn’t.”