Reality Fix - Lucifer's Crown

by tantan

prepared with boxes and flasks to carry away discreetly stolen food and drink. Akio had the best of the best of the best of everything from the moment he was born. The best nannies and then the best teachers, the best equipment, the best food - no expense was spared on their son. He grew up with the code of chivalry in his heart and the reflexes of a born warrior. He learnt to fly at the age of two right after taking his first steps, much to the wonder of all those around him. By the age of nine he was as tough as one of his father's warriors and as learned as the best of the kingdom's sages. People cheered him wherever he went, and worshipped the ground he stood upon. Much to the amazement of his parents this had no effect on his psyche. He grew up to be an unassuming, unspoilt, and pleasant young man.

  Akio became an icon in the kingdom, the perfect example of a true Ōgon Noian.

  Enter: Sayonara

  The fief of Kita bordered Ōgon No to the east. For centuries there had been enmity betweenŌgon No and Kita. However, no overt action of enmity had existed between the two fiefs for the last eighty years. The enmity now solely existed in the hearts and minds of the peoples, and nowhere else. That was about to change.Kita had just acquired a weapon of such power. Ko, the ruler of Kita, was itching to unleash this new weapon against the Ōgon Noians. The weapon in question was a man called Sayōnara. He was a master of death, and a brilliant tactician.

  With Sayonara as his General, Ko was confident in his victory. Ko had recruited a whole battalion of magicians to his army, a very difficult feat, as magicians were spread thin across the entire Afterlife, and were known to be surly, and rigidly independent of authority. Ko could not fail.

  The invasion took place on a Thursday morning. Ko's magicians blasted apart resistance, leaving the foot soldiers and cavalry to deal with the fleeing soldiers. Sayōnara himself rode into battle, chopping off the heads off all those who stoop in his way. His katana, dripping blood, formed a pool whenever he stood still for a minute

  Hiraku, who had been completely taken by surprise at this attack on the capital, was easily captured, before he could even put on his armour. He quickly scanned the faces of all the others captured, looking for the faces of his wife and son.

  "Where is my son?" he demanded, when Sayōnara came up to him.

  "Why, he's dead, along with his mother. It was an accident of course."

  Etsuko! They have taken the life of our son…

  Sayōnara helped himself to some of the wine on the dining table "You will be taken to see Overseer Ko inKita" he sneered. "I do not know why he bothers with you. It is so easy to arrange for an accident."

  'Etsuko! They have taken the life of our son,' Hiraku mourned, unable to think past his sorrow.

  A soldier came in. "My lord. The perimeter's secure. What do we do with the retainers?"

  "Kill them," replied Sayōnara. "No! Wait. I'll do it myself. Make sure the Overseer doesn't do anything stupid while I'm gone".

  "Yes sir!"

  'Etsuko! They have taken the life of our son…'

  Hiraku grabbed the soldier's katana and was about to run himself through when he was grabbed from behind by three soldiers. With tremendous strength he dragged the three soldiers with him, and succeeded in killing himself. So ends the legend of Hiraku and begins the legend of Akio.

  The Birth of Al-Out

  Akio had been playing mah-jong with his friend Izanagi, when the sounds of battle reached him. His mother had come rushing into the room with a knife in one hand a long sharp knitting needle in the other.

  "We are being attacked," she had yelled over the noises of the battlefield. They heard men shrieking in agony, and soft swishes of katanas letting loose the Afterlife essence of their soldiers. Explosions were heard every ten seconds, shaking the palace, making the walls tremble and shake in agony. Etsuko barricaded the room with whatever she found. The bed, the table anything that could provide an efficient barrier was put in front of the door.

  The soldiers eventually came. Etsuko, sensing that their time was up ran to embrace Akio. "Remember this," she said. "Even from the ashes does the phoenix rise. One rose growing in a dung heap can make a whole country smell divine. Do not forget your training. And always remember that your father and I love you and are proud of you."

  Izanagi then turned to Akio, "I do not know what is happening, my prince. But today I shall proudly die for you".

  Sensing that their time was up Etsuko opened the windows. "Now fly away Akio. To the Desert. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Come back and claim your inheritance when you are stronger. Go! Now! We shall buy you some time," She held Akio in a tight hug and then threw him out the window, with strength that nobody could have guessed she possessed.

  Not a moment too soon for Akio. The doors were blown to bits, and the soldiers marched in. Etsuko and Izanagi used the barriers to great advantage killing off as many of the enemy troops as they could. But they were soon blown to shreds by one of the magicians' fireballs. Akio, wiping tears from his eyes, soared to the desert and followed the Yellow Brick Road until he came across a caravan. He would spend the next two years of his Afterlife with that caravan. They would give him the name Al-Out. He would absorb their ways and become one with them. But he would never forget. 'Father…Mother… I will avenge you. This I promise.'

  Don't Say 'Mutton'!

  The gunslinger woke his two young charges at dawn to continue their journey.

  "Shorty," said Mary, "have you noticed that most of the rocks look like people's faces. It's wonderful what the wind does naturally to things, isn't it."

  "Its not nature," said the gunslinger, turning to observe the barren wasteland, with its canyons and gorges. "It's more the human mind. We humans seek meaning in everything we observe. A man called Rorschach used this idea in a test he developed to measure the stability of the human mind. These rocks carry the same purpose as Rorschach's inkblots did in this regard."

  They walked in silence for the next hour…and the next…and the next…and the next (A.N. - Okay, I'll stop now).

  "Ooh! Look. Those small rocks look just like sheep," Mary said excitedly. "Does that mean that my mind…"

  "I think they are sheep," Anne interrupted.

  "Yep. You're right," Shorty squinted, trying to get a better view of the sheep. "It's the annual lamboree. Guess that's why there are so many of them."

  "What's a lamboree?" Mary asked puzzled.

  "Kinda like a reunion for sheep and goats. They gather in one place and talk about wool and grass, I guess…Butchers, if this is a war lamboree."

  They followed the road moving in closer to the sheep.

  "Now remember. Nobody is to mention mutton or chops until we're clear of them."

  The wind changed direction right at that minute. The M word drifted away towards the canyons and echoed across the desert. The sheep glared across the desert at the three travellers. And then they charged.

  "Run," yelled Shorty, pushing his charges in front of him, constantly encouraging them to run with greater speed. The sheep decided the humans weren't worth the effort of climbing down the gorge, and abandoned the chase.

  "Phew," said Shorty, "we were lucky. They're a bit lazy around noontime".

  "Not so lucky I think," said a man stepping out of the bushes at the sides of the road.

  Thor Doesn't Do Dishes

  "All right lads" said Hearthoff. "Time to set off. Thomas, you're either going to stop spraying perfumes on yourself and put your clothes on now or your going to travel stark naked. Your choice."

  Thomas grumbled and put on his clothes hurriedly.

  "Now that we're finally ready," Hearthoff glared at Thomas "let me show you to your vehicles."

  They walked to the tarred landing strip(complete with landing lights).

  "These are the latest Mach-2 chariots. They're designed for speed, and are the sturdiest chariots you'll find in the whole of Valhalla. They come with a bunch of nice toys too. Mini catapults, Scorpions, stove, back-scratcher, ladadadada. You get the idea. The chariots ar
e self propelled. Nice, yes?"

  "Lets go," Peter jumped into his chariot seat rapidly pressing different buttons.

  "Woah lad! Easy there. You have to learn how to get off the ground and direct it first. And I'd prefer it if someone taught you how to use the chariot's weapon systems, instead of you figuring it out for yourselves".

  A Valkyrie patiently explained the workings of the chariot to Thomas and an overexcited Peter.

  "All right then. We're all set. Lets go," Hearthoff said quickly, glancing around quickly in agitation.

  "Wait right this minute Thor," Sif entered, looking daggers at Hearthoff. "Do you think you can get away that easily? You promised to…"

  "Darling… There just isn't enough time. The fate of the universe, and all that."

  "Well. The Universe can wait. You promised!"

  "You can join us," said Peter quickly, looking with awe at Sif's golden hair.

  "Shut up!" Hearthoff hissed.

  "I think I might," she said, glancing at Peter with a warm smile.

  " Honey Bun. Listen to reason."

  "When did Thor ever talk of reason?" Sif asked in mock surprise.

  "Ever since you made me go to that psychotic shrink," Hearthoff replied, his face slowly turning red from pent up anger.

  "Say it, don't spray it," she said wiping off some spit off her very revealing tunic (there's an unwritten law that all goddesses must wear skimpy clothing, even if they live near the Arctic).

  "We're going," yelled Thor, putting his chariot into gear, taking off vertically into the sky with a lurch, too angry