Son of Mary

by R. S. Ingermanson

  “Two months!” Shimon’s eyes go wide. “And you have been here with him all this time?”

  Rabbi Yeshua shakes his head. “When I came and immersed with Yohanan in the Jordan, I saw the face of HaShem. Then I went out to the desert to learn to hear the voice of HaShem.”

  My heart pounds many times in my chest. Rabbi Yeshua has seen the face of HaShem! Yesterday, I saw the Shekinah and I thought that was a large matter, but it is a small matter next to the face of HaShem. And Rabbi Yeshua has spoken with HaShem! I never met a man who spoke with HaShem.

  Shimon’s eyes are round as pomegranates. “You … spoke with HaShem?”

  A faint smile creeps across Rabbi Yeshua’s lips. It is the smile of a man who has endured much pain and earned a great victory. “I called on the name of HaShem to hear a word from him, and I did at last, but I heard many words from the Accuser, and I fought a hard battle with it.”

  My heart quivers and all my body feels cold. Tales tell that there is a mighty prince of evil spirits called the Accuser. The scriptures do not tell of the Accuser, so I thought the Accuser was only an idle tale.

  But I know there is great power for evil in the world, and I think that is the point of the tales. I think Yeshua is either very foolish or very mighty, to do battle with the Accuser. I think it is not only the scorching of the Shekinah I see on Yeshua’s soul.

  Shimon’s face is pale and moist, and he licks his cracked lips. “And now you have returned to follow after Yohanan again?”

  Rabbi Yeshua shakes his head. “I came to ask Yohanan for a word from HaShem, for I still hear The Voice only in whispers.”

  That was the very word I heard Yohanan telling. I bounce up and down for my excitement. “Explain the matter again. Who are these four Powers that Yohanan spoke of?”

  A shiver passes through us all.

  Rabbi Yeshua’s face goes tight and hard. “No son of Adam knows who is the first Power, nor the second, nor the third, nor the fourth. When HaShem calls me to fight each Power, I will know it.”

  A muscle twitches in Little Yaakov’s face.

  Rabbi Yeshua’s sister wraps her arms around him and kisses him. “You will not fight the first Power before my wedding feast, yes?”

  I am astonished for her fearlessness. Most girls her age are quiet and shy, but she is bold as a prophet.

  Rabbi Yeshua gives her a kiss and a kiss and a kiss. “Tomorrow we will leave for home. I do not think HaShem will tell me the name of the first Power before we arrive at your wedding feast.”

  My heart leaps to hear Rabbi Yeshua is going on the road to Galilee tomorrow, just as we are. That will give us three days on the road together, until we reach the fork at Bet Shan. In three days, I can ask him many ten thousand questions. But then he will veer northwest to Nazareth, and we will keep on straight north to Capernaum, and when will we ever see him again? Nazareth is more than a walk of one day from Capernaum. I wish to know when the kingdom of HaShem will begin. I wish to learn whatever wisdom Rabbi Yeshua can teach me. I measure him to be a wise man, deep in the ways of HaShem. I wish to be deep in the ways of HaShem. I wish to know what it means to be a lamb in the heart of HaShem. That is a very deep thing.

  Rabbi Yeshua looks on me and my friends, and he tilts his head as he is listening to a voice only he can hear. At last, he says, “You men will come with us to the wedding feast of my sister, yes? It is in Cana, on the third day after Shabbat.”

  For a moment, I think all the universe has stopped.

  He hardly knows us, and he asks us to the feast of his sister?

  We hardly know him, and yet we should go to his sister’s feast, when our fathers expect us home the day before Shabbat? We will be home five days late if we go to this feast.

  If I had a choice in the matter, I would say yes, for there is a deep thing in Rabbi Yeshua and I wish to know it.

  But I do not have a choice in the matter.

  Shimon the Rock is the oldest, and it is his right to say yes or no. He will say no, for we should return to Capernaum as our fathers ordered. We have been gone long for Sukkot, and now it is time to go back to our lives. We have boats to oar and nets to mend and fish to catch. Our fathers need us. Shimon will say no.

  Yeshua studies him as he thinks Shimon will say yes.

  Shimon the Rock looks on me and Big Yaakov and Andre. There is a lost look in his eyes. I see he does not know what to say. We came to hear the prophet Yohanan. We came to immerse in the Jordan River. We came to see if the kingdom of HaShem is near, as men were saying in the streets of Jerusalem.

  I think the kingdom of HaShem is near, but Yohanan is not the man to bring it in.

  I think Yohanan the immerser is afraid on the four Powers.

  I think Rabbi Yeshua is not afraid on the four Powers.

  I think Rabbi Yeshua means to destroy the four Powers.

  I think when a son of David destroys the four Powers, that will bring in the kingdom of HaShem.

  But nobody cares what I think, for I am the youngest.

  Our fathers need us, and Shimon will honor our fathers.

  Shimon will say no.

  Yeshua watches Shimon the Rock with keen eyes.

  I think he measures Shimon to see if his heart goes after the deep things of HaShem.

  Sweat stands out on Shimon’s forehead.

  Andre and Big Yaakov do not say anything. Shimon has not asked their opinion, and they will not dishonor him by offering it.

  My fingernails bite my palms. Shimon will say no.

  Rabbi Yeshua looks on Shimon the Rock and smiles as he knows a thing Shimon does not.

  And that is the problem. Shimon the Rock is not a man who sees deep things. When the village hazzan explains a matter of Torah to me, I see it at once, and I understand it better than the village hazzan. Then I have to explain the matter many times to Shimon, and still he sees it as he walks in a fog. Shimon is not the Genius of Capernaum, and he does not know the deep things of HaShem.

  Shimon will say no.

  A muscle in Shimon’s face flickers.

  I am ready to shriek on him for my fury.

  Shimon opens his mouth to speak, but no words fall out.

  My heart leaps in my chest.

  Shimon says, “Yes, we will go to the wedding feast with you, Rabbi Yeshua.”

  I cannot find my breath. Did I hear true? Can it be?

  Andre’s face tightens in a hard knot, for our fathers will be very angry on the matter.

  Big Yaakov’s eyes narrow, for he is almost as old as Shimon, and Shimon did not consult him.

  But my spirit leaps within me, for Shimon said yes.

  If Shimon had said no, I would have dishonored him and said yes.

  But Shimon said yes.

  I think Shimon the Rock knows more on the deep things of HaShem than I measured him for.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Shimon of Capernaum

  I cannot believe I made such a big foolishness. We just met this man Yeshua from Nazareth, and yet I feel as I have known him long, so when he invited us to go to his sister’s wedding feast, I thought I would like to go. I saw that Big Yaakov would like to go, but he was afraid. I saw that Andre would like to go, but he was afraid. And I saw that Yoni was dying to go, and he was not afraid.

  So I said yes, because I will never let it be said that Yoni has more courage than me.

  But how could I have said yes, when I promised my father to stay here two days only and then go straight home?

  There is work to be done after being gone a whole month. Fish do not grow on bushes, my father says. Fish must be caught, and that is work, and work needs men, and we are the men.

  And now I have agreed to go five days out of our way with Rabbi Yeshua. My father will make a rage on me if I go to this feast.

  I should go home by the straight road, only I gave my word to Rabbi Yeshua, and I am a man of my word. But I also gave my word to my father, so now I am in a box. Whatever I do, I will go back on my word.
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  I try to think how it all happened.

  Big Yaakov and I went to buy food this afternoon, but the village was farther than we were told. We bought food and beer and sat in the shade of a fig tree and ate and drank. Two young girls of the village came and made a flirt on us. They both wore the virgin’s veil, so we knew they were of the age when they hope some man will make an offer to buy them from their fathers. They live in a small village of no account, and they saw us and made a flirt on us because they had nothing to lose.

  We grinned on them, for they were young and foolish. One of them was a big-eyes girl, and I always had a liking for a big-eyes. It is not a sin to look on a big-eyes. If it is a sin to look, then HaShem would not have made big-eyes girls, but he made them, so how can it be a sin? Big Yaakov likes girls with slim waists and wide hips, but I like a big-eyes girl. Anyway, it was a fine afternoon and the girls smiled on us and made a flirt on us and we stayed too long, only out of a politeness, and then we had to hurry back.

  I kept thinking of the big-eyes girl all the way back. It is not a sin, for I did nothing but smile on the girl. Still I will not speak on her to my woman, who stayed home in Capernaum all these weeks with my little sons. I do not think Yaakov will speak on the slim-waist girl to his woman either. It is a sore trial to be gone from your woman a whole month, and then have some big-eyes or slim-waist make a flirt on you in a strange village.

  When we got back, Andre came running and said he and Yoni met a man who is held in a big honor by Yohanan the immerser. Andre said Yohanan prophesied that this man is to defeat the four Powers. I do not know what are the four Powers, but I know that a man who can defeat a Power is a man I should meet.

  Then Yoni shouted on us that this man is a prophet and a tsaddik and a son of David. If Yoni says a man is a prophet and a tsaddik and a son of David, the man is something.

  So I spoke to the man, and I knew for myself he is a prophet and a tsaddik, for he looked in my heart.

  I never saw such a thing before. Rabbi Yeshua read my heart like a scribe reads a book.

  I looked in his eyes, and I thought I saw the big-eyes girl. Only for a moment. Then I thought I saw my woman waiting at home for me. Only for a moment.

  Then my body was all in a big sweat and my knees felt weak and I thought I would fall over.

  I thought Rabbi Yeshua would ask me who is the big-eyes girl and call me a sinner. That is what a prophet would do. But Rabbi Yeshua is more than a prophet. He is also a tsaddik.

  He smiled on me and said he wished to give me a nickname, Shimon the Rock. That is a good name. I mean to live up to it. That is what a tsaddik does, when he sees you could have done a wrong thing, but you did not. I never heard of a prophet who is also a tsaddik. Prophets are angry and tsaddiks are kind.

  Rabbi Yeshua is a prophet and a tsaddik, and now he is my friend.

  I never made a friend so fast.

  Also, Yoni said Rabbi Yeshua is a son of David, and that is a mighty matter if it is true.

  We talked more, and Rabbi Yeshua said he had seen the face of HaShem.

  I thought I would stop breathing for the shock of it.

  Even our prophet Moses never saw the face of HaShem. He saw the hind parts of HaShem and was in a big fear on the matter. But Rabbi Yeshua saw the face of HaShem and spoke on the matter like a thing you should expect. Then he said he fought long in the desert with the Accuser. I have heard tales of the Accuser, and those are bad tales. I do not know what it means to fight the Accuser. I think it is not like a wrestling fight between two men. I think it is too large a matter for a fish-man to understand.

  I think it is a mighty thing to fight the Accuser.

  I have known men who said mighty things on themselves and were liars. I know what is a liar and what is not a liar. Rabbi Yeshua is a man who can look in your heart and see what you are and grin on you and make a friend on you. That kind of man is not a liar.

  So when he asked if we would go to his sister’s wedding feast, all I could think was that here is a man who saw the face of HaShem and fought the Accuser, and he thinks so well on me that he wishes me to come celebrate in the joy of his sister. And I saw Yoni had courage to go, so I said yes.

  And now I am in a box.

  If we go to the feast, then I have lied to my own father, and that is a big sin.

  But if we do not go to the feast, then I have lied to a mighty prophet and a tsaddik, and that is a bigger sin.

  Yoni says, “Shimon, did you bring food with you from that village? Andre and I waited long, and you never came.”

  Andre makes a grin on us. “I think they ate it all and took a nap. Or else they chased some big-eyes girl around the village.”

  Yoni roars with a big laughter on us.

  My neck feels hot on a sudden. I should teach Andre with my fist when is a good time to make a joke and when is not.

  Big Yaakov scowls on Yoni and Andre. “The village was farther than we were told. We walked far and bought food and ate some and rested. Then a small-eyes girl and a big-waist girl came and asked if we needed to buy a woman. I said no, we both have women, but I have a brother who likes to roll in the mud like a pig and wishes to have a woman. So the girls ran away screaming for their fear. I think the small-eyes is halfway to Arabia, but if Yoni runs fast, he can catch the big-waist.”

  Rabbi Yeshua’s brothers all roar with a big laughter on Yoni.

  I reach behind Big Yaakov and pull out the packs we took to carry food. “Here are some rounds of bread and some cheese and some dried figs we bought. Also, I have beer in this skin. But before you eat it all like wolves, you should offer some to our friends.”

  Andre reaches for the bag. I see in his eyes that he does not think the food will go far if he and Yoni have to share with Rabbi Yeshua and his four brothers and their women.

  Yoni looks as he will die of his hunger, which is a big foolishness because he ate only this morning, and now it is evening. That is not long to go hungry.

  Rabbi Yeshua grins on us all. “We have food also that we bought in Jericho this morning and we can share it with you.”

  Rabbi Yeshua’s mother and sister and their other women go to get their food.

  Yoni grins.

  Andre grins.

  Big Yaakov grins.

  I would grin, but I am still in a box and I do not know what to do. I like Rabbi Yeshua and his family, and I want to know more on this matter of the four Powers. But I told my father we would stay here two days only, and today is the second day. And my father grinned and said if Mashiach comes, we can join his army and fight the Great Satan, but otherwise we should come home by the straight road.

  Rabbi Yeshua does not look like a man who means to fight the Great Satan.

  And yet he says he means to destroy the four Powers. He does not even know what are the four Powers, but he means to destroy them. That is a bold man. I think it would take a son of David to be so bold. The four Powers must be four kings. But which four kings?

  One could be the King of the South, which is Egypt. One could be the King of the North, which is Syria. One could be the King of the East, which is Babylon.

  If those are the first three Powers, then the fourth must be the King of the West, which is Rome, which is the Great Satan, which my father gave me permission to fight.

  My heart beats fast. Is there a way out of my box?

  I do not know those are the four Powers. That is what my father will say when I come home five days late.

  But I do not know they are not. That is what I will say. I will say Rabbi Yeshua is a prophet and a tsaddik, a man well spoken by Yohanan the immerser. And he is son of David. What if he means to be Mashiach? I will say we had to know for sure. I will say we had to look into the matter. I will say that if Mashiach is near, it is a bigger matter than taking fish out of the lake for five days.

  My father will not agree, and he will call me a fool and a woman, but then I will put Yoni on him, and Yoni will tie him up with many clever words, and
in the end my father will be so fuddled he will agree we were right to look into the matter. Nobody ever wins argument with Yoni.

  It is a sore trial to have the Genius of Capernaum for a friend, but sometimes it is also a blessing from HaShem.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Yeshua of Nazareth

  I like these men who came to sit with us.

  Four men, who came to me just after I heard the matter of the four Powers. I wonder if HaShem sent them to help me smite the four Powers.

  Andre grins much and is cheerful and tells jokes and makes everyone laugh. He even makes Imma laugh, and that is a hard nut to crack. I am glad to have Andre with us.

  Big Yaakov is already a big friend on Little Yaakov. I hope it is not only because of the joke on their names. I think they are alike in some ways, for they are both fierce.

  Shimon the Rock has some secret in his heart. At first, I thought it was to do with a woman, but I think there is more to the matter than a woman. I think it is a thing he does not even know. I think he is a man drifting in a boat without an oar. But that is all I can see. I wish HaShem would explain the matter to me, but HaShem says nothing, and I am desperate to hear a word from him on the matter.

  Yoni intrigues me. When I first looked on him, I saw a boy of the age of ten in a tunic covered with mud, and I wondered who brought some foolish child to a convocation of men. Then I looked in his eyes and saw a surprise.

  Yoni has been in the Shekinah.

  And there is more. Yoni comes from a family of sages and he speaks like a sage. He is thirteen years old, and he asks questions only a sage could ask.

  I think Yoni is a deep lake.

  I think he is a man I can teach.

  I think he is a man I can learn from.

  It was on account of Yoni that I asked them all to come to Shlomi’s wedding feast. Tomorrow is the third day of the week. We will reach home before Shabbat, and then the feast comes on the third day after Shabbat, and that is a whole week.

  That is enough time to learn what Yoni is made of. If I am to destroy the four Powers, I will need strong friends, and fierce, and men of good cheer. I think Shimon the Rock is strong and Big Yaakov is fierce and Andre is cheerful.