Always With You

by E. H. Lyon

  It was one of those scenes where you both reach for the maple syrup to put it away and invade each other’s space. Then your fingers decide to play with the rim of his boxers because you said one night only and might as well make it count. Then the bottle of syrup falls to the floor and you wrap your arms around his neck. Hands roam, and in a swift move, he gets you onto the counter with plates falling.

  I just had no control. I remembered how we’d come in my bed earlier that night and morning. The way our eyes stared into one another’s and our mouths were static electricity that didn’t want to part even though we already gave our bodies the release of tension it had been craving all that time. I snapped and wanted it again on the counter. And even after, he was still… sweet.

  I followed him to the door, and he stroked my face and kissed me on my cheek. A true gentleman to many, I am sure. I got the feeling it wasn’t his usual routine, but instead a thank-you, a sort of goodbye for a night that probably needed to happen between us. The plan was to lock it in the vault and move on. It’s what we agreed on.

  That plan did not work.

  Shaking my head, I focus on the present. Sam will wake soon from his morning nap and be ready to meet his father.

  Was that a sentence? Yes, and I am going to need a big cup of coffee for this.

  Deciding to occupy myself so I don’t pace the kitchen floor until there is a hole, I make some breakfast, which I thought was a good idea. But as I set out a pan and begin to mix some batter in a bowl then I re-question my mind space.

  Really? Pancakes? This is a little too full circle. Bad choice on my part. Maybe because I didn’t sleep and turned all night in bed thinking about what seeing that man again does to me.

  It does a lot.

  Before I can think of something else to cook, the doorbell rings.

  Breathe. This. Is. Happening.

  I go through the hall and open the door to Leo. I’m greeted by a giant stuffed rabbit with a bow and Leo standing behind the toy. To my surprise, Leo is not in the same clothes as last night and instead showered and is in fitted jeans with a muscle-tugging black t-shirt. I notice there isn't a motorcycle either and instead his silver Range Rover.

  How does he already seem so put together after receiving the biggest bombshell of his life? Probably because this man would look good in a potato sack. He tucks his sunglasses into his shirt, and I may just be jealous of how the sunglasses get to touch his chest. Looking at him, I’m pretty sure my mouth has fallen open. He seems to have noticed and mistakes my face for confusion about the car, the rabbit, or the fact he is in front of me.

  "Yeah. Taking a wild guess and figured a motorcycle isn't so safe for a baby, and yes, a car seat is already in. Prime does wonders," he explains as he walks through the door as if he owns the place.

  Yep, this is the same Leo I remember.

  "Sure. Come in," I mumble to myself just enough so he can hear. Letting the door lazily close.

  He ignores me and heads to the kitchen, and I follow.

  The rabbit finds a home on a chair and Leo throws a bag of bagels on the counter. “I figured you may be hungry."

  My eyes blink several times. I am struggling to adjust to the man in front of me as I really don’t understand how he strides in with such confidence under these circumstances, how he managed to get bagels, a giant stuffed animal, and a car seat. I barely managed to get dressed!

  "Yeah, I was just about to make pancakes.”

  And he lets out a scoff. "Really? Pancakes? Deja vu." He gently throws his keys on the counter and seems ready to skip any small talk.

  Taking a breath, I let my fists contract at my sides as this attitude is the one that drove me crazy for all those years, and I promised myself to stay strong; stay in control.

  "Where’s Sam?" he asks desperately and looks around the room.

  "He’s sleeping. He’ll wake soon and then you can meet him." How I am coming across so calm, I do not know.

  Leo lets out a deep sigh and pulls out a stool and sits at the kitchen island.

  I decide the best approach is that I sit next to him. Sitting next to him doesn’t do anything for my nerves, but I am committed to the cause and right now my goal is staying calm.

  "I want to know everything. Everything I missed." He looks at me with his intense blue eyes.

  I nod gently and grab my mug of coffee. This may be a long conversation.

  "Okay. You will. We have time," I tell him far too peacefully for someone who just dropped such a big bombshell.

  "I will pay for everything for Sam, no expense spared," he begins.

  Cursing under my breath, I nearly burn my mouth with my coffee.

  He is going to get right into it, and then I remember it’s Leo. This man thrives off responsibilities, negotiations, and charming potential mergers for business and—now I can attest as a witness—pleasure too. But in all honesty, he does have a side that I’ve observed on a few occasions that made me soft somewhere. He takes care of people. That’s why he is the one who used to lead everyone when all our friends were together.

  I sense he has a checklist in his head.

  “Christ, Leo, you haven’t even met him yet and already you want to get into that?” It comes off both standoffish and entertained that he is jumping right into the deep end.

  “Yes, Jessica, I do.”

  Ooh, that came off bitter, and he knows I hate when my full name is used.

  “We’re not kids,” he says, “we are two adults who knew what we were doing and who can take responsibility for our actions. I am not going to waste any time.” Now he just sounds condescending.

  But I bite my tongue and let out a disgruntled, “Fine,” before taking another sip of coffee.

  “And since when do you drink coffee?” he asks, confused, as he must remember I am an avid tea drinker.

  “When I had a child that is part gremlin in sleeping and whose father exasperates me,” I snipe, and I see his lip corners hitch at my response.

  "Ooh how I missed you,” he answers, and it doesn’t sound sarcastic. He seems to want to try a calmer approach. “Tomorrow, come to my office and we will work everything out about Sam, okay?”

  I should be offended he’s taking the business approach, but it’s Leo and I don’t take it personally. Responsibilities are something he excels at, and based on his arrival, he probably already has a college fund set up for Sam.

  I have to admit, I’m not sure there are many things he isn’t good at, both in and out of the bed—I mean, boardroom.

  Ugh what is wrong with me and my brain this morning?

  The sounds of a rustling Sam are heard through the baby monitor, and Leo jumps up as if he just touched a hot iron. I put my coffee down and twirl off the kitchen stool.

  "Easy, Leo. You’re a new person to him." I touch his arm to slow him down. "...New for now," I assure him and tilt my head to the stairs. Without hesitation, Leo follows me.

  We reach Sam's room, and I look at Leo before I open the door and can see he is nervous or excited, probably the same way I felt when Sam was born.

  Opening the door, we see Sam sitting in his crib, holding his monkey stuffed animal and smiling. Sam makes little noises as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t yet have the vocabulary.

  "Hey, buddy. Sleep well? Come here." I pick him up. I look at Leo who locked his gaze on Sam. Instantly I see that there is a connection. How could there not be? This kid is a mini-Leo, complete with a wave of hair that grew in the last two months.

  I kiss Sam's cheek.

  My body is weak from nerves and emotion. A high voltage shoots to my heart. My head isn’t thinking and instead instinct takes over. In a split-second decision and no hesitation, I say, "There is someone here to meet you," as I hand Sam to Leo.

  Leo instantly puts his arms out and grabs his son. “Wow, we made a good-looking kid,” his voice sounds slightly proud.

  Sam is used to being held by people. Between daycare and all our friends holdin
g him, he is an easy baby. But this time, his little chubby cheeks and little eyes look differently at who is holding him. His sounds are almost a new octave on the scale.

  Leo's eyes meet mine and I nod a yes of reassurance. His eyes have softened—those blue eyes, the ones I have stared into so many times, more than I should have. I go to stand in the doorway, to give them a little space.

  "So, I guess I’m your dad," he says awkwardly to Sam with a new smile on Leo’s face that I have never seen on his face before. Leo starts to bounce Sam, but then decides to hold him as he walks around the room that is safari themed.

  After a few minutes, they eventual sit down on the rocking chair and Leo notices the album of photos on the side table. He flips open the book and begins looking at the photos. Pointing between Sam and the pictures.

  I watch them look at the pages together as my throat aches from emotion.

  “Ooh that is an interesting photo of your mother,” Leo mentions as he flashes his eyes at me.

  I walk towards them and tilt my head to look at which photo he’s looking at. I realize it’s the one of me in lingerie and showing off my very pregnant belly. The fact he notices it sends a chill along my spine in pleasure.

  Now is not the time for my body to react like this.

  I shrug a shoulder. “I did a boudoir pregnancy shoot that apparently is all the rage to do when you’re pregnant—just Google it,” I attempt to explain. His eyebrows only raise with more amusement and skepticism.

  “I could. Or you could just show me the rest of the photos from that little shoot of yours.”

  It scares me his mind is venturing to the same place. Which is only confirmed when he asks, “So, should we talk about that night yet?” He grins as he holds Sam as if he has been practicing holding a baby for years.

  “Nope.” My response is short and blank, yet it makes him laugh.

  “Fine. I will add it to the agenda for tomorrow.”

  Chapter Six

  Leo

  The next day rolls around and I have no idea how I am still standing. Yet, I managed to get into the office at 6am. I had too much to tackle to be any later. Plus, I said I would see Jess at some point today and I want to see Sam later.

  Molly my assistant arrives around 7:30. She has been my assistant for years and she keeps me sharp. I trust her with my life, partly also because she was close with my mother. Molly knows me well.

  “Morning, Leo,” she greets me all cheery with blond-and-gray hair tied up and her glasses on.

  “Morning, Molly,” I answer and look up from my laptop. “You got my e-mail about today? Jess will come in later so just order us some lunch. Also, did you order the list of toys and baby stu—"

  "Yes. All done already," Molly assures me. I already explained the situation to her over the phone and I’m happy the role of a personal assistant is to make my life easier.

  “Photos, photos. I want to see him!” Molly exclaims as she places a coffee on my desk. I smile and pull out my phone, I have a few photos of Sam already.

  “Oh, Sam is a handsome devil. Your mother would be so proud that you’re a father.” She looks at the photo a little longer and then swipes to see a few more.

  I sigh at her statement as my eyes venture to the photo of my mother on my desk—classically beautiful. I was a lot closer with her than with my father, and that’s an understatement.

  I’m taken aback when Molly lets out a hmmm and I look to see which photo she is now looking at as I wasn’t paying attention.

  “Well, this is a nice one of you three.”

  Looking at the photo, I see it’s Jess and me on her living room floor playing with Sam. We’re all laughing and Jess’s hand is casually grazing my arm that I put on Sam. We didn’t purposely take photos together, but I guess it happened when I was playing with Sam and my phone—or I may have just set my phone on a timer when Jess wasn’t looking.

  I clear my throat. “And?” Because I know she has her two cents about something.

  “And… with an infectious smile like hers, I am going to guess that there is more to the story?” Molly asks, returning my phone and walking back towards the door. She turns to me.

  “We had a good night; Sam is what resulted in it. She isn’t a stranger, and we will raise Sam together,” I shrug.

  Molly clears her throat. “Leo, I am positive that your mother would be asking the same thing that I am about to. Obviously, you and Jess both still have a lot of talking to do. I keep hearing about Sam this and Sam that. But what about you and Jess? Surely you would want to explore that option for Sam? For you?” Molly says, raising an eyebrow and finger as if I should listen to her.

  And the be honest, I should. So, I admit my defeat.

  “Relax, Molly. You’re right. And make no mistake, I am not forgetting about that part of the equation. Just need a little time. We still have a lot to talk about. Jess and I never make it easy for each other.” Besides the fact she is stubborn as a mule and already made it clear her idea of co-parenting as friends. I don’t necessarily agree, which means we will be debating this matter for a while.

  “Ahh, well then she better hold tight.”

  Yeah, Jess had better, because I have ideas about her that involve a lot of holding, kissing, sucking, fucking. Ugh, it’s not even 9am and my dick is already aching.

  The morning goes by quickly with meeting after meeting. I’m walking back from the conference room when I see Jess is looking out the floor-to-ceiling windows in my big corner office. She turns her head when she hears me coming.

  Frankly, I’m a little speechless. I have seen her before when she’s dressed for work, but seeing her in a black pencil skirt, heels, and a tailored dark green silk top catches me off guard. Jess looks like she belongs here, as in belongs at my window and waiting.

  Waiting for me. Or bent over my desk—but I am trying to be a gentleman today.

  She gives a gentle smile. “Hey. Sorry I’m early. I had an appointment nearby and had a hell of a morning. Your assistant let me in.”

  “Yeah, no problem. It’s perfect as my meeting finished early. What do you mean you had a hell of a morning?” I put my tablet on my desk, very curious.

  She goes to sit down on the sofa in my sitting area.

  “It’s nothing, I forgot that it was my turn to bring the morning snack at daycare. But Avery, the new owner at Smokey Java’s, saved the day,” she sounds almost agitated by this story and scratches her head.

  “It’s a big deal? Throw the kids some raisins, right?” I ask, oblivious.

  Her mouth gapes open like I asked the stupidest question, and her palm flies up to stop me from speaking further. “Yes, it’s a big deal! Raisins won’t do. Has to be a sugar, gluten, dairy, and nut-free, and a character-themed snack. Otherwise Wendy Thomson from the parents committee has a field day, and I am in no mood to try and wipe that smirk off her face at the next meeting.”

  This amuses me. “Something tells me that you are momzilla at those meetings.”

  She glares at me with her arms crossed.

  “But why don’t you bring him here? We have a daycare here.” I was the only child growing up and my mother was quite hands-on. I did have a nanny at some point, but always wished I had a lot of kids around to play with. Daycare, I get it.

  She looks at me surprised but seems to be thinking about it. “I was forever on the waiting list at Little Toes and finally got a spot.”

  “So? I’m here now, and it would be good to see Sam when I have time during the day. Would make it easier too with pick-up and drop-off.”

  “Well… I guess that could be good.” I see her agreeing.

  “Settled then,” I flash her a reassuring smile.

  After a short pause, she speaks. “Kind of weird seeing you in your little habitat here again,” Jess points her finger around the room.

  I sit at the front of my desk, cross my arms and ankles to take in the view of her. It’s a damn fine view.

  “Habitat? What am I,
a zoo animal? You have seen me in a suit before. I think you even once said it makes your blood boil. Considering less than an hour later I had you pinned against a wall moaning my name, I will say you must enjoy me in a suit. Plus, now you’re actually welcome at my office and not uninvited like last time.”

  My confidence is a little strong and I am pushing a fine line, because I know my arrogance can set her off, and reminding her of one of our arguments from long ago isn’t gaining me points. But I perhaps enjoy seeing her squirm this way a little too much as she swallows and tries to think of a comeback.

  “Actually, I have been to your office invited before when I had a meeting with your father when he wanted to hire Max and me for a real estate deal,” she explains, letting her fingers tuck some hair behind her ear. “You weren’t in, or maybe you had someone else pinned to a wall that day.”

  She is a little snarky today. I like her that way.

  “Mmmm,” my lips let out, and I tap the edge of the desk with my fingers as I continue to lean against the desk watching her.

  “Do you want some water or something? I think Molly was getting us some lunch.” I’m trying to break the tension.

  I come to sit next to her on the sofa in my seating area. In a tender move, I take her hand and place it between mine. Her eyes blink and her bottom lip drops. “Shall we focus on Sam?” I suggest.

  “Maybe we can go over some of the schedule ideas? I have a showing at two.” She wants the conversation to move along, that much is clear. In fact, I’m certain some sass returned to her. I will just remain calm and let her hand go.

  “Sure. You had a look at some of the suggestions?”

  Jake, my attorney, sent some stuff over just to give us the information. I asked Jess before if it was okay. Plus, she knows Jake as he sometimes joins the group outings since he went to grad school with Lucas.

  “Yeah, so anything financially related. I do not care, and I am not asking for anything,” she quickly starts, and I cut in.