Heart of Disaster

by Wesson, Rachel

  “He’ll do whatever you say, doctor. Thank you so much.”

  The doctor nodded and left. Kate hadn’t returned.

  “Conor, we are so lucky,” Delia said as she lay beside him.

  * * *

  Conor struggled to speak.

  “Shush, Conor, we can talk later. Rest now.”

  He couldn’t rest. Every time he closed his eyes, he was back in the water.

  “It was like being stabbed by a thousand knives. Never did I feel cold like it. The shock seemed to force the air out of my lungs, I had to fight against blacking out. All I could think of keeping my promise to you. I wasn’t going to let you arrive in America alone.”

  Tears ran down her face. He tried to wipe them away, but he couldn’t lift his hand. He gripped her fingers. “I love you, Delia.”

  She kissed his face and then his hands. “Oh, Conor, I thought I’d lost you. I’ll never leave you again.”

  “I don’t plan on being in another shipwreck, do you?” He tried to joke but it was too soon. Their eyes met, both glistening with unshed tears. He didn’t have the strength to keep talking. He closed his eyes, not releasing his hold on her hand.

  Chapter 53

  Thrilled her friends had survived, Kate couldn’t help but hope the news would help Cathy, too.

  Wrinkling her nose at the smell of sickness and closing her ears to the sound of retching, the patients obviously feeling the effects of the rough seas, she found her way to Cathy’s bedside.

  “Cathy, I have the best news. Conor survived the sinking. Delia is with him. He’s very sick.”

  Cathy didn’t even blink. Kate couldn’t hold back the tears.

  “Cathy, talk to me please.”

  A woman screamed. Kate jumped up and rushed to help. She saw a couple of women shrink back in terror. Their would be attacker, held a club in her hands. “I want to die, and you’ll help me.”

  The older woman’s feet were bandaged, rendering her immobile. The younger woman moved in front.

  “Leave mam alone. She’s been through enough. Go away.”

  “If you do not help me, you die,” the mad woman shouted.

  Kate looked around but there were no men available. As Kate took a step closer, the club-wielding woman caught sight of her.

  “You want to die too?” she shouted.

  “No, but I understand you feel you need to. I will help you.”

  The women looked at her in disbelief. “You will?”

  “Yes, but you must leave these women be. They can’t help you. If you are intent on committing suicide you really ought to do so in a ladylike manner.” Kate mimicked Delia’s accent as she spoke hoping it would convince the woman she was upper class.

  The woman nodded. “You understand. Thank you.”

  “No lady would jump overboard without a male escort,” Kate continued desperately making things up on the spot.

  “No, they wouldn’t. Could you please help me find someone suitable?” The woman looked so sincere and calm, it was hard to imagine that just a minute ago, she’d been threatening to kill an injured patient.

  “Why, of course I will. You must promise to leave these ladies alone. They are steerage, they don’t understand the ways of our class.”

  The woman actually sneered in the direction of the poor mother and daughter who stared wide-eyed at Kate.

  Kate used the chance to run to find a steward, telling him what was going on. He ran and came back with the doctor. Both men approached the woman telling her they would be glad to help.

  “Thank you, miss, for helping us. You were very brave. I was sure she was going to kill my mam.”

  “The poor woman obviously lost her mind. One can only imagine what tragedy she has seen.” The mother said rubbing her leg. The doctor arrived back to examine her, leaving Kate a chance to escape.

  Despite the now windy weather and the resulting rough seas, she headed for the deck. She needed to be away from the smell of sickness for a while. It was a pity she couldn’t run away from her thoughts that it was only a fine line separating Cathy from becoming like that crazy woman.

  Chapter 54

  In the days that followed, Kate heard so many theories as to why the ship had sunk, she didn’t know what to believe. None of the Titanic’s remaining officers would speak to her. She was told they didn’t want to discuss the incident until they filed their reports with the White Star Line.

  She helped Mrs. McKenna with the other passengers. Her new friend told her she should rest. She wanted to keep busy, it distracted her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw horrific images play out in her mind. Mrs. Mckenna liked to talk and through her, Kate learned there were eleven brides on board who’d been honeymooning on the Titanic and who became widows overnight. There was another woman who’d lost her husband and son and yet another woman who had barely survived only to find out her two sons had been lost. Possibly the saddest story of all was that of the Allison family. Mrs. McKenna’s eyes glistened. “The babe and his nurse were in boat number eleven, but I guess in all the confusion, the nurse didn’t get to tell the mother she had her baby.”

  Kate’s chest hurt. She was curious but afraid. “What happened?”

  “It seems Mrs. Allison and her three-year-old daughter, Helen were in a lifeboat, but they got out. Mrs. Allison refused to leave the ship without her baby and her husband. The poor family, all three of them dead.” Mrs. McKenna crossed herself. “At least the baby is rich. He’ll not land in a workhouse or orphanage.”

  That was true but Kate couldn’t help feeling sorry for the tiny baby who’d lost his family. She knew what it was like to grow up without parents, but she’d been lucky to have Nell. What was the poor woman thinking now? The news of the Titanic sinking must have hit the papers back in Ireland yet there was no way for her to tell Nell she was safe.

  Cathy sat on a chair with a blanket around her knees. Mrs. McKenna glanced at her. “Young Cathy seems to be recovering?”

  “She’s getting a bit better.”

  If Mrs. McKenna had known Cathy at home in Galway, she wouldn’t have said the girl was recovering. That Cathy had gone down with the Titanic leaving a shell of her former self behind. Maybe her sister Bridie would be able to nurse Cathy back to full health when she arrived in New York. Cathy hadn’t said a word since they boarded the Carpathia.

  Chapter 55

  “Morning Mrs. Brennan, I would say it’s a fine day out there, but I’d be lying. There is a thick fog. The captain hasn’t left the bridge at all. Still, we will be docked soon. I bet you are looking forward to being on dry land again.”

  Delia smiled at the steward. But for his bravery in escorting her and the other women to the lifeboats, many more would’ve died. She was thrilled he’d survived. “Yes, Mr. Hart, I am. Will you stay in New York for long?”

  “I don’t know the answer to that yet, Mrs. Brennan. I believe Mr. Ismay is working on getting us back to England as soon as he can.”

  Curiosity got the better of her. “Is it true the White Star stopped paying you when the ship went down?” She was immediately sorry as the man blushed, his eyes darting around her. “I apologize, Mr. Hart. I shouldn’t be so nosy.”

  Mr. Hart pulled at his collar, glancing around before he whispered, “Between you and me, missus that is the truth of it, but I don’t think those that make the decisions would like me to be telling you. Shocking it is when you think about it. I was lucky but my mates, God rest their souls, they got family at home. Families that depend on their wages. Especially now they are dead. I worry about those families.”

  Distraught to be the cause of more distress for this brave man, she hastened to reassure him. “Maybe, someone will do something?” An image of her aunt’s face came to mind. Not everyone cared for those in need.

  “I expect so, Mrs. Brennan. I best go see my other passengers. You take care of yourself and your husband. I am so glad you found each other. So many lost…” His words faded as no doubt he remembered
all his friends who’d been lost.

  Later, a well-dressed woman with a cut-class accent approached Delia. “Would you like to make a contribution for the crew?”

  “What a wonderful idea. I couldn’t believe their wages were stopped when the ship went down. What are they expected to live on?”

  The woman looked at her blankly, her gaze raking Delia from head to toe. Delia could tell what she was thinking, why was a woman with a similar accent wearing clothes obviously belonging to a steerage passenger? Delia didn’t say a word but stared back until the woman recovered her manners.

  “Oh, no, there’s been some misunderstanding. This isn’t for the Titanic men but for Dear Captain Rostron and his crew. We have collected almost four hundred dollars, isn’t that wonderful? I know its vulgar to speak about money, but we were so hoping we would be able to give him a large payment. Even five dollars means a lot to some of the crew.”

  It was Delia’s turn to stare at the women in front of her. Could she hear herself? Five dollars was a lot to most people. She was on board a ship with goodness knows how many survivors left with nothing but the borrowed clothes on their backs. What would she know about the value of one dollar never mind five?

  Afraid she would cause upset, Delia excused herself and walked hurriedly away.

  A few hours later, Mrs. McKenna came down to the cabin to keep Delia company.

  “I thought you might fancy a chat, Mrs. Brennan. Or perhaps you want to take a walk. I can sit with your husband.”

  “That’s very kind of you, Mrs. McKenna. Please call me Delia. I would rather stay with Conor but would value your company.”

  “How is he? Kate said there wasn’t much change?”

  “No, but he is fighting hard.”

  “A man you can be proud of. I’ve heard numerous people credit your husband with saving their lives.” Mrs. McKenna sat back in the chair. “Have you heard the passengers collected a large sum of money? They awarded Captain Rostron, five hundred dollars. I believe each crew member received a sum of money.”

  “I knew about the collection. A woman approached me while I was walking on deck. Captain Rostron is a wonderful man and a real hero.”

  “But?”

  “The Titanic crew who saved the passengers are heroes too. The woman I spoke to, didn’t appear to think so.”

  “She may have thought that was their job.”

  Delia couldn’t stop herself from protesting. “Nobody should have to lay down their life for another. What of their families? And those who survived but with horrific injuries. How will they support their families? Did you know White Star has suspended all pay?” Delia couldn’t continue. Tears of frustration and anger choked her.

  “Cry dear. Let those tears flow. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you.”

  “No offense taken. You are completely right. In an ideal world, the men from the Titanic will be compensated. We can but hope it will happen in time. For now, you need to give yourself time to heal.”

  Delia swallowed the lump. “I have to look after Conor.”

  “Let us help, Mrs. Brennan. You may not have suffered physical injuries, but you have been through an ordeal.”

  Delia made the mistake of looking direct at Mrs. McKenna. Pity and understanding filled the woman’s eyes. Delia couldn’t stop the tears falling.

  “I can’t close my eyes. Every time, I try, I see…” Delia put her head in her hands and sobbed. Mrs. McKenna moved to her side and rubbed her back as Delia shuddered.

  A few minutes passed before Delia’s sobs stilled. Mrs. McKenna handed her a hanky. “Some say a good cry is the best medicine. Why don’t you take a walk, get some fresh air and I will sit here with your husband?”

  Delia couldn’t thank the woman enough for her thoughtfulness.

  Chapter 56

  Delia hadn’t been long on deck when she found Kate.

  “Delia, is Conor all right?”

  “He’s sleeping. A passenger, Mrs. McKenna, is sitting with him.”

  “She’s so kind, isn’t she? She’s helped with Cathy as well.” Kate stared back at the ocean. “Not that Cathy is improving.”

  “It will take time for all of us to get over what happened, Kate. Don’t give up just yet.”

  Kate gave her a wan smile. “Have you spent much time chatting to other survivors?”

  “Not really. I might say the wrong thing to some of the women.”

  Kate looked at her, curiously. “What makes you think that?”

  “I don’t know if I am being oversensitive, but some women seem to think no man should have survived. As if by living, they were somehow less than a gentleman.” Delia didn’t look at Kate for fear she sounded stupid.

  “I thought that too. I heard a couple of women call a man a coward for getting into a boat. He said he was ordered to do so. Some officer, Lightholler was his name, needed extra crew. This man was a yachtsman, whatever that is.”

  “I can’t understand their thinking. Who cares how someone survived? The fact they lived is important.”

  “I wish Daniel had thought to swim or jump into a boat. Seamus too.”

  “Oh Kate, forgive me for opening my big mouth. I didn’t mean to remind you.”

  “I don’t need reminding. I don’t think I will ever forget.”

  Delia took Kate’s hand in hers. Together they stared at the ocean for a while.

  “I best get back to Conor. Talk to you later.”

  As she headed down below, Delia knew she wouldn’t have cared how Conor survived so long as he lived. She had nothing but pity for Mr. Ismay, despite the gossip on board the Carpathia. The man had helped lots of women and children into the boats. She had seen that for herself and heard it from others. If there were no more woman and children around and yet a space in the boat, why should he have not saved himself?

  After four days on board and eight since they had left Queenstown, the Titanic survivors arrived in New York. Delia, with Conor standing by her side, leaning on her for support, watched as the sea in front of them was filled with tugboats of every size. They were filled with reporters and those taking photographs, their magnesium bombs flashing like a Morse lamp.

  Worried her husband would be standing too long, Delia tried to get him to go below. “Mr. Hart said the captain had to put off the Titanic lifeboats first, at the White Star area. Then he will sail to the Cunard pier where we will be escorted off. We will be ages yet. Please go below.”

  “And miss seeing America for the first time.” He smiled. “Delia, I’m fine. I might be able to spot my brothers.”

  “Don’t forget, the doctor said you have to go to the hospital.”

  “I know, love, but first we have to get through customs clearance.”

  “No, we don’t. It’s been suspended due to the unusual circumstances of our trip. I guess they are trying to spare us.”

  Conor looked up to heaven but didn’t comment.

  She was surprised to see the size of the crowds waiting to greet their ship, despite the late hour and the driving rain. First Class passengers were escorted off the ship first, the photographers’ flash lamps lighting up the otherwise dark night. She didn’t envy the attention those poor women were getting. Everyone wanted to know about the rich men who had died. It seemed America was no different then Ireland in that respect, where those with money appeared to be more valuable.

  Then she heard some of the questions the reporters were asking, their voices carrying on the wind.

  “Is it true the officers shot people dead?

  “Did passengers get into gunfights?”

  Delia and Conor exchanged a look of disbelief. How could anyone ask questions of that sort? When it came to their turn to leave, they put their heads down and ignored the questions fired in their direction. A long line of ambulances were waiting and Conor was taken to Saint Vincent’s Hospital. Delia refused to be left behind. She went with him.

&nbs
p; At the hospital, a nun took Conor away telling Delia to sit in the waiting room. She paced back and forth before going looking for her husband.

  She found Kate and Cathy. Cathy appeared to be asleep with Kate sitting by Cathy’s bedside. Kate fidgeted, passing her rosary beads from one hand to the other. She glanced at Cathy before turning to Delia.

  “Cathy spoke to me. At last.” Tears made Kate’s eyes glisten. “Her sister hasn’t come to see her yet. Cathy is convinced she blames her for Seamus dying but sure what woman would believe that?”

  “Given how my aunt behaved, Kate, I am rarely surprised by what people believe.”

  Delia kicked herself as Kate’s face lost what little color it had left. Delia hastened to reassure her. “It’s early yet. The sheer numbers of people waiting for the ship must have caused delays. I’m sure Cathy’s sister will be here as soon as she is able.”

  From what little Kate had told her about Cathy’s sister, Delia hoped she was right. But she didn’t have time to deal with it now.

  “Kate, I will come back to see you in a while. Where are you staying?”

  “Here. I’ve been sneezing. It’s only a cold but the doctor wants me checked out.” Kate glanced around her before whispering. “I’m relieved. I didn’t want to have to look for somewhere on my own.”

  “You could have stayed with me. The nun, on duty in the waiting room, suggested a hotel across the street.” Delia spotted a nun walking out of a ward. “Sorry Kate, that nun over there is looking after Conor.”

  Delia went to find her husband. He was settled in a ward along with other survivors. She kissed Conor before taking a chair beside his bed.

  “Delia, this is Thomas Whitely and John Thompson. Both crew from the Titanic.”

  Thomas spoke first. “Evening, ma’am. Forgive me, if I don’t get up to shake your hand. Be a while before I’ll be walking anywhere.”