Because of Lila

by Abbi Glines

  Then I realized that was the old Lila Kate. This was the new one.

  Our dancing continued. Our movements got sexier. The touching became more intense and my heart rate sped up a bit. I enjoyed being near Eli. I liked the way his hands slid over my hips and cupped my bottom. When my breasts brushed against his chest, the contact felt like electricity had pulsed through me. These feelings were all new things for me. I’d tried to feel this before. It had never happened. I was always so tense and unsure. But Eli was easy to trust, and the way he smiled could attract a nun.

  His head lowered, and his breath was hot on my neck. I shivered as it tickled my ear. “Go somewhere with me.”

  I slowed our dance to a halt. This was it. My chance to do something truly wild. To break free of the old me. To become someone else. I needed this. I wanted this. I wanted Eli, and it had been awhile since there was a guy that attracted me. It wasn’t just the shots either. I’d liked him before I started drinking.

  “Okay,” I answered loud enough that he could hear.

  He bit softly on my earlobe. “I’ll get your purse from Larissa.”

  I nodded and walked off the dance floor with him.

  He got my purse from his aunt who he’d handed it to when we left the bar for the dance floor. Then he came straight to me. “Your car here?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m not sure either of us should drive just yet. Walk with me down the beach.”

  I had to agree. I wasn’t sure I should get behind the wheel, and he had drunk more than I had. His hand slipped over mine then our fingers threaded. We walked in the moonlight across the road and down to the beach in silence. The music from Live Bay faded in the distance.

  It was secluded and peaceful on the shore. I’d been on our beach many times at night. But never with a guy. Not like this. It was almost magical.

  “You swim in the Gulf much? Or are you on the East Coast?”

  “I’m on the west, and no. I enjoy the beauty but I don’t get in it much.”

  “Where in Florida do you live?”

  I wavered here, not sure what I should say. I wanted to leave that girl behind. Rosemary Beach was small but it was elite. Everyone knew that wealthy and famous people lived there. He’d wonder. He’d ask questions. I’d reverted to Lila Kate Carter in moments. I didn’t want to be her again.

  “A small little town. Nothing special.”

  He nodded. “Okay. I won’t push.”

  I sighed. It sounded like I was keeping it from Eli because I didn’t trust him. I was out here alone with him. That was trust right there. “It’s not that. It’s . . . I don’t want to be her anymore. I want to be different. I want to be someone new.”

  “Adventure,” he added.

  “Yes.”

  He stopped as we came to a dark and secluded spot on the beach with nothing but the waves crashing to the right of us and tall sea grass to the left. Houses and condos had tapered off. He turned to me, and his hands took my waist. I would be lying if I said I didn’t hold my breath. When his mouth met mine, I inhaled sharply. His lips were firm, yet they were tender. He knew exactly how to use them too. Our tongues danced as his hands moved down over my bottom then up under my top until both of his palms were cupping my breasts.

  My breathing was already erratic when his thumbs brushed my nipples. However, when he lifted my shirt to remove it, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know him. Could I do this? I lifted my eyes and looked up at his perfectly chiseled face. I decided this was the right time. A real adventure. And he was exactly who I wanted to experience it with.

  I allowed Eli to remove my shirt. He stared a moment and let my shirt drop from his hand, then took my bra off and dropped it on top of my shirt. His expression was appreciative. I forgot to breathe again when Eli’s head descended slowly to my chest, his mouth covered my nipple, and he began to suck. I held onto his head because my knees felt weak. He seemed to know exactly what I needed. He stopped to pull off his shirt. He laid it out on the sand then did the same with his jeans. I watched with fascination as his lean muscular body was now on display for me. Once he finished making a makeshift bed, he lowered his tall frame to rest on his clothes, and pulled me down on top of him.

  I straddled him, my skirt hiking up my thighs and nothing separating us but his boxers and my panties. His hands threaded through my hair, and he held my head looking into my eyes. “You’re fucking perfect, Lila. That seems impossible.”

  “I am so far from perfect.”

  He smiled and then his eyes went dark making me shiver. His eyes dropped to my bare chest. “I want to taste you.”

  I wanted to kiss him too. “Okay,” I agreed.

  In one swift movement, he rolled me underneath him and I could feel his rumpled clothes and sand beneath me. I was startled, but when my knees were put over his shoulders I realized what he had meant and my stomach flipped. I’d never done this. No guy had ever been that up close and personal with me. Nervous didn’t even begin to describe it.

  Then his tongue slid over the inside of my thigh and I froze. I don’t know if it was anticipation or fear for what was to come next. Those lips that knew how to move against mine began working the same magic between my legs. With every swipe of his tongue and carefully placed kiss I cried out, trembled, and began to beg. This was the most erotic, exciting moment of my life. I never wanted it to end. Ever.

  Eli Hardy

  WATER. I HADN’T drunk enough fucking water. I lie in bed with my head pounding afraid to open my eyes. This was going to be one hell of a hangover. I never drank like I did last night, and this was why. I hated feeling like shit.

  Wait . . . that smell. I inhaled again. The scent was still there. Holy shit. I remembered that smell. Almond and cinnamon and maybe vanilla. It sounded like a sugar cookie but that wasn’t what I was smelling. It was her.

  I opened my eyes and looked around my bed. No. Just me. I was clothed. But Lila’s smell. I held my arm up to my nose and sniffed. Yes. That was her. But how? From dancing? We’d ate the potato skins I would have to run off today. Then we danced. Then . . . hell if I knew. I couldn’t remember shit.

  Had I left her there? Just walked out? I didn’t even know her last name. But then the perfect cookie smelling girl in my drunken memories was probably much less perfect than I had thought. I’d been drunk after all. When had any man made a wise decision drunk? Never.

  My phone rang, and I covered it with my other pillow to drown out the annoying sound. Moaning, I sat up and stretched. Water and Tylenol. I needed both now. Even if the idea of standing sounded like hell.

  The lights in the apartment were off which meant I hadn’t been too drunk to remember to turn shit off. I just didn’t remember coming back here at all. It was possible Larissa brought me home. That would explain how my truck keys were on the kitchen bar and I was waking up alive.

  I took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with tap water then popped open the bottle of Tylenol rarely used in my drawer. Once both were consumed, I toasted some bread and grabbed an apple then went to sit in the living room with more water. I wanted coffee, but I wasn’t going to touch that after the harm I’d done to my body last night.

  Leaning back on the sofa I let out another miserable groan. Why had I let myself get so damn drunk? It wasn’t like I had a lot to be upset over. My job was stable. I was healthy. I had friends. My best friend was engaged, and that sucked, but I was getting used to it. But damned if I hadn’t needed an escape last night.

  The toast was all I could stomach. I finished both pieces and left the apple on the table beside me. I couldn’t eat any more. That would have to suffice for now. Once I felt like a human, I would go for a run. Then get brave enough to call Larissa and ask what I did last night.

  Other than the fact I had gotten a little drunk. Or a lot drunk. Not me at all. But for the time it had felt nice. I’d enjoyed Lila. I was on a no women streak, but I only flirted and danced with her. Nothing more. Besides she
was on her way to find an adventure. I remembered that. It made me smile. That girl and her adventure sounded very Alice in Wonderland-like.

  I would have to ask Larissa if she’d been that stunningly perfect or if it had been my drunken state. Just so I could remember her correctly. Then maybe it was best I kept my memories untouched by reality. I hadn’t woken up in bed with her or married. That was a success.

  I heard the muffled sound of my phone ringing again. Someone was persistent this morning. Yawning then wincing from the pain in my head, I got up from my comfortable spot and went to get my phone from under the pillow.

  Only one side of my bed was messed up. Another positive thing. Or was it? Her smell was still on me, and the way she’d felt in my arms when we danced—it might not have been a bad thing if I’d woken up with her curled up beside me.

  I paused and let my imagination take over for a moment. I could see her brown hair and pretty eyes smiling at me. That sweet smell that I could fucking soak in. Eventually, she’d speak and start talking about our wedding and our children and how she would need space in my closet and a panty drawer in my dresser. Stop. Run. That was the reason I was swearing off women for a while. They all wanted to handcuff you and take you to the alter. Not that I didn’t want to get married one day. I did. But not right now. And not until I was hit by a woman that I couldn’t live without.

  So far, that hadn’t happened.

  Picking up my phone I saw Bliss York’s name. She’d be Bliss Finlay in six months’ time. She was my best friend who I’d been in love with most my life. I was happy for her. She’d faced death and won. She deserved this. I just had always imagined it would be with me. Nate Finlay had come into our world and changed it all.

  I still loved her. But I’d accepted she loved someone else, and I was beginning to think she was the reason I feared women wanting more. I had loved Bliss for as long as I could remember. How was I ever going to love someone else like that? It scared me to get too close because in the end, it would hurt them. What if Bliss was still it for me? What if they couldn’t take her place or make me forget? So far, that hadn’t happened.

  It wasn’t like I ever thought she loved me back. At least not that way. She’d never acted like she loved me anymore than a friend. It was something I had harbored myself. Our parents were close. My mother and her father had grown up as best friends too. We had been in each other’s cribs since we were born. To Bliss, I was like one of her brothers. Except my future didn’t include jail.

  Her brothers were hell raisers.

  I debated calling her back. I wasn’t in the mood to be happy and listen to her happy shit. My head was still pounding. Then a text lit up my screen. Made a big breakfast. Come eat.

  That kind of stuff was annoying. Bliss liked when I visited them. What it did was make me see them be all domestic and happy. I went. Because I couldn’t remember a time in my life I didn’t do whatever I could to see Bliss smile. Slowly though, that need was diminishing. She had Nate to make her smile. I didn’t want that job anymore. Not if I wasn’t going to be coming home to her at night. My plans for my future had always included her. Not now. Not that way at least.

  Lila’s idea of leaving town didn’t sound so bad. Take off and reinvent yourself. Find a new way. The problem was I had a job, an apartment, and a life here that I couldn’t just run from. I wasn’t sure how she was funding her adventure, but I didn’t have the funds for that.

  I wanted to respond to the text Thanks, but I’ve got plans. Or Thanks, but I’m busy. That would be breaking loose from making her happy. That would be what a real man would do. Instead, I replied, Just got up. Let me shower. Then I’ll head over.

  Dropping my phone on my bed, I growled at my weakness. It was like I needed to be nice. To do the right thing. Dammit, I hated that about myself. The last thing I wanted to do this morning was head to their house and eat with them. Why couldn’t they eat alone?

  My phone dinged again. Great. Nate’s friend is here visiting. I want you to meet her.

  Shit. This was a hookup. And why did Nate have a female friend visiting them?

  Her? I texted back.

  Yes. We will wait on you to eat.

  I wanted to ask more questions, like if anyone else was invited. Because I didn’t need a fucking hookup. Bliss knew me better than that. I was on a “no women” hiatus. She also knew that. This had better only be an honest meet the friend thing. I wondered if Nate’s “friend” was secretly in love with him. Hell, we may end up having a lot in common after all.

  Lila Kate

  I STOOD IN the warm shower longer than necessary. I still had some sand stuck to me in places I’ve never had before. I closed my eyes and tried not to judge myself too harshly. I had been doing what I set out to do. Eli was a nice guy. He was sweet and gentle. And when he’d pulled a condom out of his pocket I had been extremely grateful.

  The words he’d said while he made love to me were dirty, but they had made me crazy. Of course, he hadn’t called it making love. He’d used the word fuck a lot. I touched the tenderness between my legs and smiled then. I had been wild. I’d had a one night stand. Me. Lila Kate Carter had been a harlot! That made me giggle.

  Even through haze of the warm shower, I could smell bacon and cinnamon. Whatever Bliss was cooking was making my stomach growl with anticipation. After all the dancing, the walking then the best sexual experience I’d ever had, I was ravenous.

  Luckily, the sex had sobered me up enough to drive here last night. But I still didn’t think Eli was ready to drive. I left him with Larissa in the parking lot when we had walked back. He’d kissed me like a man hungry for more. I had soaked it all in, not wanting ever to forget that night.

  He hadn’t asked for my number, my last name, nothing. It had been just that for him too. A one night stand. It made me a little sad I wouldn’t ever get to know more about him or see him again. Eli would always be my first experience as the new and improved Lila.

  Reluctantly, I got out of the shower and dried my hair with a towel, then dressed in a pair of casual white linen shorts and a navy blue sleeveless top that was soft. I started to dry my hair with a hair dryer and stopped. The old Lila Kate would get presentable before going to breakfast. The new Lila would head there with wet hair and bare feet. If I were at home, I’d eat my breakfast like this. Why not here? They didn’t expect me to be fixed up.

  I hung up my towel because although I was more laid back now, I wasn’t rude. Then I headed toward the smell of the food. The house that Nate and Bliss lived in was elegant, large, and what I’d expect Nate Finlay to purchase for him and his future wife. It sat on the water just like the house he’d grown up in. It wasn’t anything as elaborate as his parents’ home but it was still very impressive. Bigger than my home for sure.

  Just as I stepped into the kitchen, the doorbell rang. Bliss spun around and smiled brightly when she saw me. “Good morning, I’m sorry I was asleep when you got here last night. There are different coffees to choose from right there,” Bliss said as she pointed at a neatly organized pile of coffee K-cup pods. “Take your pick. There’s even some tea or hot cocoa K-cups if you don’t want coffee. Just help yourself. I will be right back. That’s our other breakfast guest,” she said as she left the room to answer the door.

  I tried not to think about sitting down with other people for a fancy breakfast with wet hair and bare feet. It was ridiculous to worry about that. I looked at the coffee and tea choices. I liked tea but I preferred a nice bag to steep in hot water—not tea out of a little plastic pod. I picked out a breakfast blend coffee and made my cup.

  “Morning party animal,” Nate’s voice startled me. I’d been staring at my cup as it filled with coffee, my thoughts still on last night.

  I felt my cheeks heat. Nate was awake when I came in with messy hair, sand sticking to me, and smelling like a bar. He’d laughed. Loudly. Then told me he lied to my mother and told her I was so tired when I got here I fell asleep and that I’d call her in
the morning. At the time, I was still floating on the memories of my wild evening. I’d thanked him, apologized for being late, and then went to clean myself up and get to bed.

  “Good morning,” I said feeling more embarrassed about my arrival last night. I was thankful that Bliss had been sleeping.

  “Hungover?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No, I didn’t drink enough for that.”

  He smirked. “Alrighty. Well, Bliss has made one of her feasts. She also invited her best friend over. It may be a setup—I can’t decide. I’m warning you now. The guy coming over is in love with her. She doesn’t believe that. But I see it. Just smile and we will get through breakfast.”

  Setup? I suddenly lost my appetite. “I don’t need a setup. I’m leaving in a few days.”

  Nate shrugged. “I know. But you can’t tell Bliss that. She says it’s not. I just think deep down it may be. She just isn’t admitting it. She worries about him. Either way, the woman can cook. You’ll enjoy it. She’s also fucking precious and hard not to love. You’ll see. I can’t blame the guy.”

  I nodded. “Okay.” What else could I say?

  “Here, grab the tray there with the fancy-ass muffins on them. I’ll grab the casserole,” Nate said. “She’ll want it all on the table before we eat.”

  I followed behind him with the food. “By the way Lila, I’m proud of you. Leaving isn’t easy.”

  I smiled. I didn’t need Nate Finlay to be proud of me. But it was nice to hear someone tell me they were. “It was easy for you.”

  “Yeah, but for you . . . it’s a big deal. I’m impressed. Your mom’s worried sick, but you’re a woman now.”

  I started to say something else, but the words vanished. I stopped walking. Because as I stood there with my damp hair, bare feet, and hands full with a tray of muffins, my first adventure came walking into the room. Bliss York was walking in with Eli. My Eli.

  Oh, my God.

  He was talking to Bliss and hadn’t looked our way. I couldn’t move. I was stuck there. Nate’s words were running through my head, taunting me. Eli was Bliss’s best friend that was in love with her? Of all the guys at that bar, this had to be the one to approach me. This had to be the one that made my heart flutter and made me want to be near him.

  I wasn’t sure if I should move and draw attention to myself. Would he tell them? Would he say my name like he knew me? Or would he pretend like last night didn’t happen?

  “You look rough this morning. Wild night?” Nate said, and at that moment Eli turned his head in our direction. Our gazes locked. He squinted as if I were a blurry image and he needed to focus to see me.

  “Eli this is Lila Kate. She’s Nate’s friend. They’ve known each other their entire life just like we have. Lila Kate this is Eli. He’s normally